Kerry gets a new tree, I do a little propping and cutting whilst the chickens have started JSW as a protest

I know the above heading is long, but there is so much going on it is difficult getting everything in, but just to give you an overview, this post covers the following:

• Reshaping an olive tree
• Tying back annuals in your flower beds
• Lightly trimming back your hedges
• How to use figs from this years bumper crop
• The chickens take direct action to thwart me watering the lawn

9th August 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

Reshaping Kerry’s Olive tree. Olive trees are ubiquitous throughout Spain. Most of them are in agricultural production where they produce both olives and olive oil for Spain and much of the world. However, a casual stroll around any Spanish village will find hundreds of great hulking, misshapen behemoths of trees crowding out gardens and lowering over walls and fences and effectively stopping sun getting to other plants.

These trees of course produce olives that fall to the ground and rot making a terrible mess. Whenever I ask people whether they process the olives or use them in anyway? the answer is invariably no! So why have these trees? The Olive is not a particularly pretty tree, and it can be very messy. The answer people normally give me is that it was there already and they don’t know what to do with it. So how about cloud pruning the tree to make it an interesting feature in your garden.

My friend Kerry and her husband Glynn have moved to a house in my village where they inherited the inevitable olive tree. Kerry decided she would like the tree reshaped and I agreed that I would happily start the process and assist her and Glynn. Hopefully we can make this an occasional feature in this blog as we follow the development and reshaping of the tree. The photo below shows Kerry, Glynn and the tree at the start of the process.

The first job was to look at the branches from underneath the tree and select those that were going to form the structure of the reshaped tree. Here we are looking for nicely spaced branches at different levels that would provide for an open canopy ideal for pruning into shapes. The photos below show the early probings. Click on each photo for a larger view.

When you are cutting back a tree it is important to remember that although the branches and foliage don’t look too much when they are on the tree, on the ground they present a real back breaking task to clean up. The photos below show Kerry and Glynn hard at work; as Technical Director I of course couldn’t get involved. Click on each photo for a larger view.

In the end of course it will all be worth it as the tree will eventually be a beautifully shaped and interesting tree that will be a real talking point in the garden. The final photo shows Kerry and Glynn surveying my handiwork. If you look closely you will see that Glynn is saying “whose idea was it to let that demented idiot near our tree”. Updates will follow.

Propping up annuals in your flower beds. By now all of your annuals should be flowering like crazy, and I am sure you are deadheading daily. In a previous post I talked about staking up individual plants to keep them upright, but now you need to begin tying back the whole borders. Failure to do this will mean that plants will fall into each other and gradually make the whole bed a green mess of dying plants. The simplest way to do this is to drive canes into the edge of your flower borders (back and front if necessary) and then tightly pull string between the canes to hold the whole mass of plants back. The photos below show my tying back activity. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Trimming back your hedges. If you have hedges then now is the time to trim them back lightly. We do it now for two reasons. Firstly, all the birds will have nested and the chicks will have flown. Secondly, the hedges may start to flop over other plants or your grass, and effectively kill them off. You don’t need to take much off, this is not the big cutback which should be done in January. The photos below show some of my hedges before and after their trim. Click on each photo for a larger view.

How to use figs from this years bumper crop. It has been a fantastic year for figs, I have had so many from my two trees that I have had difficulty keeping up with the harvesting and eating, but I am trying my best. When you have a bumper crop like this year, you have two options: either give them away, or find ways to preserve them for later. This year I have decided on the latter and I am both drying my figs in the sun and creating fig chutney.

To dry figs in the sun, you first have to design a method to defeat your two big enemies: ants and birds. I have developed my own method which you can of course copy. Simply halve a load of figs and place them onto a mesh tray. Place the tray on a table in full sun for at least two days till the figs shrivel significantly. To protect the figs from the enemies, I stand the legs of the table in cut back plastic bottles filled with water. You need to ensure that the legs of the table do not touch the side of the plastic bottles or you will find ants will happily bridge this to get at your figs. Secondly you need to place a mesh cover over the top of your tray to stop the birds swooping down and feasting on your crop. The mesh needs to be held down with clothes pegs to stop the wind blowing it off and robust birds knocking it off. The photos below show my daily crop and my defences. Click on each photo for a larger view.

To make fig chutney or jam just get yourself an easy to follow recipe from the internet. If I can do it any one can. The photos below show my efforts. I am thinking of starting a cooking blog! Click on each photo for a larger view.

The chickens have stopped me watering the lawn. As if there is not enough trouble in the world with Just Stop Oil and Extinction Rebellion etc, Cruella’s chickens have started a campaign to stop me watering the lawn. Just Stop Watering or JSW as Cruella calls it, started when I complained that her chickens were continually digging holes in the lawn. Cruella sarcastically replied that they were “free range” chickens and that was exactly what they were meant to do.

Initially I said nothing, but secretly I was formulating my revenge. I continued to laboriously repair the lawn, filling in the holes and placing wire mesh over the top to stop the chickens coming back to undo my repairs. If you ever have to repair your lawn, then the simplest thing is to sift some compost from your compost heap and tread it firmly into place, then water well. The photos below show my sifting and repair methodology. Click on each photo for a larger view.

My revenge involved turning on the lawn sprinkler system every time the chickens went near my repairs. At first this proved very effective and led to the chickens fleeing soaking wet. Cruella complained bitterly and said that her girls could get pneumonia and that she would report me to the World Health Organisation chicken division. But, I am certain there is no such thing, although she does keep sending me copies of the emails she has sent.

My tactics were working fine till the other day. As soon as the chickens started moving towards the lawn I went to turn on the sprinkler system when Cruella let out a loud warning cry in chickenese and all the chickens rushed to cover my sprinklers with their bodies. At first it wasn’t a problem as I would pick them up one at a time and remove them. But no sooner were they released than they would rush back and sit on the sprinklers again. This was obviously a tactic that Cruella had been practising in her Chicken Civil Disobedience workshops.

Since the first day of protest it has gradually got worse. They now have T-shirts with JSW on them and they have started glueing themselves to the sprinklers. It has now escalated beyond a joke; my shed has had orange glitter thrown all over the inside and the compost bins have been sprayed with JSW slogans. To be honest I am at my wits end. The photos below show the start of their protests. Click on each photo for a larger view.