Category: Uncategorized

Cruella (my wife) said that I shouldn’t say this sort of thing as it may be misconstrued as boasting and could result in my blog being listed under pornography as opposed to gardening, and that I may get unsavoury characters looking at my blog. My only reply was that they would be disappointed. Anyway, setting aside all vulgarity, and I don’t mean to boast, but all this rain in the past month has resulted in the fact that the orange harvest this year is enormous which means you can start harvesting oranges now.

4th December: Things I have been doing lately.

🍊 Beginning to harvest oranges. Normally around here you could start harvesting oranges about the end of December or early January. But because of the rain the oranges have swollen up to quite an extraordinary size and they haven’t stopped yet. Oranges will continue to swell right through till nearly the end of May. The only problem with all this swelling is there a strong propensity for the skin to split which in turn lets the birds and insects in to the fruit which is then spoiled.

You should try and pick some oranges every day to juice or eat. Pick the largest fruit first as these are the ones in greatest danger of splitting. If you haven’t got a juicer then go and get one as this is an effective way of using and storing orange juice. The photos below show some of the record harvest, together with my juicing implements and lastly a photo of me in my special juicing apron (doesn’t everyone have one). I apologise if it looks like I am eating my phone, but I don’t know how to take a selfie and Cruella was out taking a torture class. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🍇 Pruning grapevines. If you haven’t pruned your grapevines yet then you really need to get on with it. Trim back all side-shoots to leave just the main stem. Once you have trimmed it back the plant will spend a short time resting, but in late January you will start to see the new leaves coming through. If you leave grapevines unpruned then they just become a big sprawling unsightly mess. Once you have trimmed back to the stem then make sure the stem is firmly tied to what ever structure you are growing the plant up. The Winter winds can easily tear the stem loose and let it thrash around and become damaged. I always use wire in Spain as the sun just rots wood very quickly. The photos below show my various grapevines before and after their annual trim up.

🌴 Pruning European Fan Palms. I love Fan Palms and they look elegant. However, they grow like “Topsy” – note literary reference, and they can be dangerous at eye level. I have a lovely stand of these Palms which we have placed in a raised round bed which stands in the middle of the main path to the front gate, with the path flowing around the bed. This looks lovely until the fronds start to poke out over the path and into everyone’s eyes. This one of my least favourite jobs as the stems are filled with strong spikes and the Palms fronds give you painful (paper) cuts.

If you have European Fan Palms then you have to prune at two levels. The low level will be new self seeded plants coming through (which are technically termed eye pokers). Whilst the higher ones are the fronds that are dipping below 45 degrees and need taking off to ensure the plant retains its jaunty look (well I think it looks jaunty). The photos below show the Palm in its original dangerous state, me manfully tackling the high branches, the final trimmed palm, and some of the fronds trussed up ready for recycling. Click on each photo for larger view.

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💦 Harvesting rain water and turning compost. No this is not about prostate and bowel problems, but about the need to catch water when ever you can. Here in Spain it is quite common for us to go for months without rain so it is imperative that you have a system in place to capture rainwater. I have various systems but the main one captures all the water that falls into my tiled pool surround and then channels this through a pipe into a large 1,000 litre tank. When there is so much rain that the tank overflows, I siphon the water out into large plastic dustbins. The beauty of this system is that I can add and take away the dustbins when necessary. In effect the dustbins are neatly stacked one inside the other all Summer and only come into use when needed. The photo below shows my emergency bin cohort in place ready to to siphon off the downpour.

Another important job to do when it is raining, is to make sure that you open the lids of your compost bin to moisten the compost. I have been known to wake up in the middle of the night, hear it is raining, and rush out to open the bin lids, (of course I’m a bloody idiot). Once your compost is nicely wet then you need to turn it over to make sure that it is composting down evenly and that you are spreading the moisture. The photo below shows my compost bins. The nearest one is the resting bin which is being left to compost over a period of six months or so. You can see that it is already showing good results. The further bin is the active bin which is being filled now.

Cruella (my wife) has gone to our English house for her birthday (101 in Witch years). She flew the usual way: broomstick class, but, before she left she cautioned me to be careful in the garden, mainly because she worries about my habit of injuring myself whilst she is away. Highlights of my injuries during her previous absences include: split skull, lacerated fingers, numerous falls off ladders, and dislocated fingers.

However, this time there was something different about her warning, it was a curious mixture of menace and malice mixed with false concern for my health. Anyway the upshot was that I was reworking a water feature when without warning the large cactus that I was working under reached down and assaulted me by whacking me on the head with a spine filled branch. This resulted in a scalp full of small painful spines that have all managed to travel under my skin and will take weeks to come out. The photo below shows the culprit; I think it is smirking in a cactus type way.

28th November: Things I have been doing lately.

🌿 Repairing the lawn. Regular readers of this post will know that I spend an inordinate amount of my time repairing various lawns as Nero (one of our Labradors) proceeds to dig them up at every opportunity. To stop him digging in the same place I repair the lawn by infilling with a mixture of soil and compost and then place wire mesh over the damaged spot and pinning it down with large lawn staples. The photos below show the culprit at the scene of the crime and my remedial work. My lawn now has so much metal in it that there is a danger that it will come alive like Frankenstein during the next thunder storm. (Click on each photo for a larger view).

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✂️ Tidying up unruly plants. Often you will find yourself with a plant that has gone “ugly”. Either it has grown lopsided or it has been damaged by the weather. If this is the case, then now is the time of year to tidy it up and take some cuttings. Most plants have stopped growing for the Winter, but are still capable of below ground growth at their roots. The plant below sits on the edge of my veranda and is in need of sorting out. The first photo below shows it before tidying up, whilst the second shows it cutback and ready to grow.

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The benefit of this process is that you should get some nice cuttings to plant. The photo below shows some viable cuttings. These are then trimmed back to a leaf node, dipped in hormone rooting liquid and planted up. With a bit of luck some or all will survive and give me more free plants.

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🧺 Saving soil. In Spain it is extremely difficult to get good top soil – I don’t know why – but it just is. Any soil I have ever bought in was either clay which was useless in the Sun as it turns to concrete, or, so full of rocks and stones as to be worthless. The best way to secure a good planting medium for your garden is to save the soil you dig up when planting trees or shrubs etc. The benefit of this approach is that your soil will be fully acclimatised to your garden and likely to be more friendly to your plants then anything you buy in. But before you use this soil you need to first use a sieve or similar to remove stones and rubbish, and then add some store bought compost to enrich it for the future. Once you have completed this process then just store the finished soil in an old compost bag for future use.

The first picture below shows my patented self built “over wheel barrow soil sieve” (catchy little title, it should sell well). The second photo shows the effectiveness of my invention.

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💡 Installing lighting in my orchard. I am a big fan of having an interestingly lit night garden. By using lights in your garden you extend the usefulness and beauty of your garden. Lights are particularly spectacular if they are used to pick out trees as under lighting. The photos below show some of my newly installed lights. I fitted them, but was ably assisted by technical consultancy from my friend David. If you have not yet seen the tour of my night garden then look it up on YouTube, just search for the following “Spanish Garden – a night tour of an illuminated garden in Campoverde”.

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I honestly believe if the above title was set to music we may just have a shot at winning the Eurovision Song Contest. Be that as it may I will have to set aside my song writing ambitions as there is so much to do in the garden and “Winter is coming” as they tended to say in that well known gardening programme “Game of Thorns”.

16th November: Things I have been doing lately.

⛓ Tying up my Cannas. If you have Cannas then it is important that you tie them up as the current strong cold winds will blow the stems over. In about a months time we can cut the stems off, but at the moment we need all the goodness from the plant to retreat down through the foliage and into the Corms (ugly fat bulbs). This process will ensure that the corms are fattened up ready to burst forth in the Spring with strong new foliage. The first two photos shows my Cannas being battered by the wind, whilst the third shows them nicely tied up. Cruella (my wife) helped with this; first she stilled the wind and then she tied the knots in the string. She is actually in the third picture but you won’t see her as she casts an invisibility spell on herself especially if she hasn’t got her make up on. (click on each photo for a larger view)

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🔪 Pruning Fig trees. Fig trees have a habit of getting very large which makes it impossible to get the fruit right at the top. All over Spain you can see giant overgrown Figs trees in gardens that now require a chainsaw if you wanted to prune them. But it needn’t be like this. You need to prune your Fig tree every year to bring it down to the same size as your height. Normally Fig trees fruit on new wood, so by bringing the tree down to your height you are bringing the fruit within reach. You will need a saw, lopers and secateurs, and make sure they are sharp before you begin.

I have two Fig trees, a standard one and an espalier that I have been training for about 5 years. For a standard Fig tree, start by cutting out the following:

• Diseased branches
• Branches growing down towards the ground
• Branches that cross over
• Branches that are closer than 45 degrees to another branch

Once you have done all of the above then take the leading branches back to a viable bud. At first this can all look scary, but don’t worry the tree will soon burst into leaf and hopefully next years fruit will be bigger and better.

If you have an espalier then take off all the back branches that are against the wall then cut off any branches and stems that do not conform to your espalier wires. The first two pictures below show my trees prior to their pruning.

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The next two photos show the trees now neatly shorn and ready for another growing season.

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🌱 Weeding around bulbs. By now bulbs should be showing through in your flower beds, but unfortunately mixed in with the bulb stems will be grass shoots. Now the danger here is that you will hoe out the bulbs thinking they are grass. To ensure you don’t make this mistake you need to indulge in some wild gardening; yeah that’s right you’ve got to take off your gardening gloves and get down on your knees. Get amongst the bulbs and feel each stem. Bulb stems will normally be round and taper quite rapidly. Grass on the other hand is thin and blade like and does not taper so rapidly. All you need to do is break off the grass stems; and keep doing this once a week until such time as the bulb stems shade them out. The photo below shows me wild gardening amongst bulbs.

✂️ Cutting back hedges. If you have hedges that have stopped flowering then now is the time to tidy them up; especially if they are overshadowing borders or lawns. Now, I am not talking about the big January cut back you need to leave this till later so that the birds and insects can have their last feed. Just trim things back into shape. The first photo below shows part of my flowering hedges that grow over and shadows the lawn. I don’t mind this when they are full of flowers, but now that flowering has stopped they need to be trimmed or the lawn will die. The first photo shows the overgrown hedge, whilst the second shows it cut back and letting light get to the lawn.

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Which of course is what PP Arnold should have sung way back in 1967 instead of all that “deepest” stuff. What sort of gardener sings about deepest when really it is the Winter lawn song. Yep, it’s true as I perambulated around my lawn making the final cut for this year I belted out our Winter anthem “the last cut is the sweetest”.

6th November: Things I have been doing lately

✂️ Making the final cut of the lawn. If you have a lawn, and I hope you do, (because too many people in Spain turn their garden into a tiled car park) then now is the time for the final cut of the year. Speaking personally I leave the last lawn cut as long as possible in order for pollinating insects to get their final fix of nectar and for the birds to get their last feast of pollinating insects (the circle of life). When you make this final cut, it is important that you raise your lawn mower cutting blades as high as you can. The reason for this is that the grass will now stop growing, or grow only slightly. This means that any wear and tear of the lawn will not be replaced by new growth, and if your not careful you could end up with a threadbare lawn by next Spring. This is especially the case if you have marauding Labradors as we do.

The first photo below show me strimming the lawn edges prior to the final cut. Cruella (my wife) said that we should dress up a bit to try and revitalise our relationship. At least I made an effort; I asked if she was happy with my outfit, but she said she was expecting a “Fireman”. The second photo shows my lawn mower resplendent in the finished lawn but minus me and emulating the “Mary Celeste”.

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🍁 Clearing up Fig leaves. Now I know it is normal to clear up leaves after they have all fallen. However, the exception is Fig leaves which tend to fall over an extended period of time. Because they are so large these leaves can blanket and suffocate new seedlings and dormant plants. This is especially the case if there is any rain and they become sodden. Ideally you should try and rake them up each week. The easiest thing to do is to leave a plastic bag near to the tree and just fill it up as you go. At the end of all this we are going to compost the leaves, but that is for another post. The photo below shows one of my Fig trees half way through shedding its leaves.

🌱 Planting out seedlings. If you have gathered and grown on self seeded seedlings, then now is the time to plant them out so that they can get established in the warm soil before the ground cools down. This will give them some growth and a good head start in the Spring. I gather lots of seeds which will be started off in the Spring but the self sown seedlings of Marguerites and Osteospermums, (I mention both because my eagle eyed friend Jackie told me off for just saying Marguerites last time) if grown on should be ready for planting now.

I have gathered and grown on over 100 of these; and remember these are all free plants. The two photos below show some of my beds being planted out ready for next year. When planting seedlings it is important to remember the size of the final adult plant. All too often people plant seedlings too close together and end up with overcrowded planting where each plant cannot express itself or reach its full potential (sounds like an election manifesto promise)!

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☁️ Cloud pruning Ficus. In recent posts I have talked about the necesssity of reshaping some plants before the big Winter cutback. This ensures that they will keep a good pleasing shape throughout the Winter months. Where I find that plants/trees are turning into large shapeless lumps then I always consider cloud pruning them to give them all year interest. Ficus is a good candidate for cloud pruning. It is slow growing and the variegated variety looks stunning when cloud pruned.

The first photo below shows my large variegated Ficus before it’s annual reshaping.

The second photo shows the Ficus after I have unleashed my artistic talents on it. Cruella (my wife) often asks me what shape I have pruned it in to. I adopt a far away look in my eyes and say that “Art is an expression that transcends religion, culture, country, people and time.”. Her only response was to call me a prat.

No, this is not a Halloween special it’s just another week in the garden. I’ll explain later, but we really must get on as Summer has ended and Autumn is chasing me around with so many things to do. Are you ready, let’s go.

28th October: Things I have been doing lately.

🥅 Taking nets off trees. Now is the time to start taking nets off your Fig and other fruit trees. By now all the fruit should have been eaten (hopefully by you and not the birds). Leaving the nets on any longer will impede Autumn leaf fall and be a danger to the birds. Don’t try and save your net; it’s not worth it and it will be damaged already, if not you will undoubtedly tear it as you take it off. However, you should save any CD’s or other repellents that you have hung on your tree as these can definitely be used next year. Cruella (my wife) still asks what ever happened to her CD of the Monster Mash by Boris Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers, I just smile knowingly.

The photo below show one of my Fig trees ready to be de-netted. The second photo shows the net ready to be dumped and the CD’s all set to be saved till next year; shush!

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🐛 Dealing with Sawfly. Now I really shouldn’t be dealing with Sawfly caterpillars at this time of the year, as normally I would have battled with them from round about March to May. And I did, every day I was out there making sure no Sawfly Caterpillar had a free meal on my Roses. But, they are back and like Arnie in the Terminator they mean business – I blame global warming!

Sawfly Mummy’s (or the bitch as we gardeners call her) saws a long strip out of the stem of a Rose and then lays her eggs in nice little boxes. All the caterpillars hatch at the same time and proceed to voraciously eat down the Rose till they reach the ground where they bury themselves until they emerge next year and guess what; “the bitch is back”

The first photo shows the damage they can do to a Rose. The second photo shows the naughty caterpillars and their birth place. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🛏 Re-making beds. Obviously I am not talking about household matters, but preparing your flower beds for next year. Now is the time to take out all those tired leggy plants, renew the soil and plant you new seedlings.

From the photo below you can see that the flower beds down the edge of my drive have gone floppy and leggy. Now I tolerate this for a while as it makes for a nice end of Summer display as the plants droop and soften the view of the drive. However, if I leave it much longer it will be too late to get seedlings in whilst the ground still has some heat. The second photo shows their final resting place from where they will rise once again next Easter. (remind you of anyone).

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Once you have cleared the beds then be sure to water them before adding compost as the addition of the compost mulch will then lock in the moisture. The first photo shows one of my nicely cleared beds with just perennials left. The second photo shows the mid watering process; notice I am using a watering can and rainwater – Extinction Rebellion would be proud of me.

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The next stage is to add a compost mulch from your compost bin. Add about 2 inch depth of compost. If you do not have a compost bin (why not it is so easy) then just buy some bags of compost from a garden centre and spread it over. The long term aim of using a compost mulch is to provide a good soil structure that is full of micro-nutrients that plants love. The first photo below shows my half empty compost bin. The next photo shows my wheel barrow of black gold ready to go on the soil.

Don’t begin planting into the flower bed for at least two to three days. The reason for this is that Blackbirds will zoom in on your new compost and dig around for tiny insects. Although this can be messy, at least they won’t be digging up your newly planted seedlings as they do it.

🌱 Repairing the lawn. Now is really the final time you can repair your lawn this year as the grass is stopping growing. Because of our two Labradors this is a perennial problem. The photo below shows Nero the golden Labrador sitting and explaining to me that Nero who is skulking in the back ground is sorry and won’t do it again.

🧟‍♀️ Giant blood oozing maggots and Sawfly Caterpillar soup. When I told Cruella (my wife) that I was emptying the compost bin and that the Sawfly Caterpillars were back, her face lit up. She enquired coyly “will there be maggots”. As we approach Halloween she is always looking for new recipes and with this in mind she proceeded to boil everything into a nice gloopy soup. If you are not doing anything over Halloween pop round there is still plenty left. The photo below shows the maggots which if touched ooze blood.

We are at our English house and it is pouring with rain, and just as I was about to go into the garden. In the meantime Cruella (my wife) has gone shopping with our idiot Son. We are having people round tonight and she is doing a buffet. When I asked what was for dinner she said “nothing special just the usual: Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing”. Sounds yummy; I didn’t dare ask what we were drinking.

In the meantime I am stuck inside, unable to get near the garden because of the weather. The photo below shows my predicament. As we live right on the river bank it can look a bit miserable when it rains. But the second photo shows the lovely Autumn colours that are just creeping into the garden and that is some compensation.

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12th October: Things I have been doing lately

✂️ Reshaping and pruning. To compensate for my lack of English gardening I thought I would tell you about the stuff I was doing just before I left Spain. As summer ends you need to prune and reshape plants that are normally kept in a nice tight growing shape. This is not the big annual cutback prune, but instead, this prune is aimed at keeping the plant tidy and pleasing to the eye. To this end I have begun to reshape plants that are normally pruned to shape. This includes my large Olive tree that I cloud pruned a few years ago. To keep this in shape you need to regularly prune it once every 2/3months.

Olive trees are ideal for cloud pruning as when they are pruned they keeps a nice tight growing shape that is ideal for amateur topiary. However, left to themselves they can become big large amorphous lumps that just sit in your garden like a dishevelled guest that has overstayed their welcome. I used to cloud prune with shears (as all purists should) but now I use an electric hedge trimmer and finish with shears.

The photo below shows my Olive tree after its pruning. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo before, so you will just have to use your imagination.

🌳 Reshaping my standards. In this case I am not alluding to my morals or principles, but to those plants that look like lollipops on a stick. I only have two standards that sit inside my swimming pool gates. When in full flower and kept well shaped these look lovely. But of course during the flowering season you have to slow down on the trimming as otherwise you would be cutting off the flowers. This means that by the end of Summer standards can become overgrown and untidy.

The first photo below shows my standards looking rather unkempt. However, after a quick trim they are reshaped and ready for future Spring growth. After trimming I give them a good feed of a general purpose fertiliser that peps them up after the shock of pruning. Another important benefit of trimming standards at this time of year is that you will not suffer wind damage in Autumn breezes which can easily blow the plant over and destroy your lovely pot. In addition the plant will not suffer from “root rock” which by the way is not a form of music found in the USA Deep South. But, instead a problem whereby the plant is continually rocked by the wind and cannot ensure continuous root contact with the soil which in turn can kill the plant.

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Which is what Dire Straits would have sung if they were gardeners instead of just rock stars. Well it is their loss because this time of the year; just as Summer tips towards Autumn is the time to get some more free plants. Now is not the time for cuttings, but it is time for self sowed seedlings, seeds and viable plantlets. Everywhere you look in your garden there is an abundance of free plants – what’s not to like; let’s get started.

3rd October: Things I have been doing lately.

🌺 Planting up Marguerite seedlings. Marguerites are one of Spain’s favourite plants and can be found in most gardens. However, I struggle to grow them from harvested seed, instead I let them self seed under the parent plant and then harvest them for planting up. Now is the time to do this. Just look under your Marguerites and you will see hundreds of small seedlings beginning to emerge. The photos below show Marguerites in beds alongside my drive, and then some of the seedlings peeping out from under their parent in my borders.

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Using a trowel ease a group of seedlings out of the soil then tease them apart using a pencil. Carefully transplant the seedlings into a pre-prepared seed tray. It is very important that you use the pencil to carefully tuck every bit of root into the soil. If you leave any bits out of the soil then there is a real danger the seedlings will not take. The first photo below shows my pre-prepared seed tray with my trusty dibber. The second photo shows seedlings being carefully tucked in with my pencil (I have had this pencil for 30 years) Cruella (my wife) mocks me for this but she has no soul – no I mean it I’m not joking she actually doesn’t have one.

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🕷 Harvesting Spider Plantlets. Lots of people think of Spider Plants (Chlorophytum comosum) as permanent denizens of badly lit bathroom window ledges where they often lurk sadly in the gloom. But in fact these versatile and colourful plants are ideal for brightening up shady areas of your garden. They can’t stand full Sun but they don’t mind lurking in half shade areas. In fact, in the shade their variegation becomes more brilliant as they cut through the gloom. Anyway, enough of me rhapsodising about Spider Plants, the important thing is that now is the time to harvest their plantlets. The photo below shows the Mother plant with its babies dangling on long stems which are used to position the new young plants in soil far enough away so that they do not compete with the main plant.

Prepare 3 inch pots with good free draining compost and then holding the stem in one hand carefully cut off the plantlet at the end of the stem, being sure not to cut into the nascent roots. Once you have removed the plantlet then just push it down into the pot about quarter of an inch and you have a new plant. The photo below shows me acting as midwife to the new babies.

🌺 Harvesting Pink Trumpet Vine seeds. Pink Trumpet is another popular Spanish Plant that can be found creeping up and over most Spanish walls and houses. This strong and vigorous plant will provide you with a constant show of flowers all Summer long followed by stunningly beautiful and unusual seed pods. The photo below shows one of my many Pink Trumpet Vines.

From the photo above you can see the plant both in flower and in seed. Normally I will cut the seed pods off at least once to ensure the plant keeps flowering. However, at this time of year you should harvest the seed pods when they are fully brown and dry. Once you have the pod off the plant, place it on a table and gently prise the sides of the pod open. Inside you will find hundreds of flat seeds which you can place in an envelope and plant out in seed trays next Spring to get yourself more plants for free. The first photo below shows some of the pods ready for picking. The second photo shows the seeds bursting from the pods waiting to go into my envelope.

📎 Splitting Albuca Spiralis (corkscrew plant). I don’t often buy plants, prefering to grow from seed or cuttings, but I saw this plant last Summer in a garden centre and I just loved its corkscrew leaves. You can see the plant in the photo below.

From the photo above you can see that the plant grows from a Corm like bulb which goes green in the growing season and then dies back to a dead brown. At the end of last season I cut back the top growth and then left it on my potting bench and just waited with only light watering. Then gradually I noticed green creeping back into the Corm, see photo below.

From the photo above you can see that the plant on the right has the potential to be separated into two plants. By taking the Corm out of the pot I was able to cut the plat in half and create a whole new plant for free. The first photo below shows the Corm after it was split in such a way as to leave enough root for each plant to be viable. The second photo shows the miracle of three plants from two.

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Finally a photo from the potting bench showing some of the new plants; and al for free. Get out there and get some free plants for yourself.

The misunderstanding started when I said to Cruella (my wife) that I was worried about my bald spot. She assured me that I shouldn’t worry as it happens to many men my age and that she still finds me attractive “in some ways”. Before I could explain that I was talking about the lawn she had whipped up a potion consisting of Cabbage leaves, frog spawn and what looked like coughed up phlegm. She proceeded to rub this into my head; anyway, to cut a long story short that’s how I ended up with a green head and having to wear a hat.

25th September: Things I have been doing lately.

👨‍🦲 Repairing a bald spot on the lawn. After the wear and tear of Summer (and two marauding Labradors) my lawn has developed a large bald area that is in need of repairing. If you have a lawn, then now is the time to repair it by re-sowing seed. The end of September and the first 2 weeks of October are the optimum time to undertake repairs to your lawn. The ground is still hot, but the scorching Sun of Summer is less fierce.

There are a number of stages to repairing a lawn:

Mow the grass very short in the effected area and then rake the area with a grass rake to pull up the grass thatch and expose the soil for the seed to contact.

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Mix up an appropriate soil and compost mixture to form the base for your seeds to root. Deposit the soil/compost over the area and evenly spread with your rake. Once the solid mix has been evenly distributed roll it then check for lumps or hollows that need smoothing out or filling. The first photo below shows the Mantillo mix that formed the main base of my mixture.

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Once your soil is prepared, sow your chosen grass seed. I use a Grama Kikyu mix which is a spreading grass that is very drought resistant (it is expensive but worth it). I have been hiding money from Cruella in my sock drawer to pay for it. From the photo below you can see that this seed is contained in a small pellet mixture that both feeds the seed and (hopefully) repels birds.

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Once you have sown your seed use your rake to gradually tease the soil so that it partially covers your seed. This will ensure that the seeds have some contact with the soil. You then need to roll the whole area again to firm the seeds down and ensure soil contact. The photos below showing me raking and rolling, which is the gardeners equivalent of rock and roll. Cruella took these pictures but before she did so she questioned whether I was going to put a shirt on (I didn’t, it’s a small act of rebellion, but it’s what keeps me going). I also kept my hat on as my head is still green.

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Finally, cover with a permeable membrane. This will keep the birds off and also ensure a nice humid growing temperature for the seeds. However, all this effort will be wasted unless you water at least three times a day. If the grass seed drys out it will just die very quickly.

🥀 Dead head Roses. Don’t forget to keep deadheading your Roses. If you do this assiduously over the next month or so you will get flowers right through to November. The photos below show some of my Roses which are now coming into their second annual bloom.

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Our recent drought in Spain is about to end spectacularly and Cruella (my wife) is claiming the credit. She said she could no longer stand my being depressed about the lack of rain and to cheer me up she has summoned a storm. She spent most of last night on the roof holding on to the TV aerial dancing around, waving her arms about and chanting incantations. I had to go up and get her down as the police came around and said they had reports of an old lady pole dancing on my roof-they wanted to know if I had a license for dancing.

11th September: Things I have been doing lately.

🌨 Water Management: As the storm arrives you need to capture as much water as possible – get water butts, put out buckets, use old dustbins; anything so long as you capture the precious water. Even the smallest garden needs water so there is no excuse, especially in Spain where we have prolonged droughts. You will need this water throughout the year and it’s free so you cut down your water bill. The first photo below shows my compost bin lids raised ready to capture water to soak the compost. The second photo shows my large water tank surrounded by large dustbins into which I siphon water off. The last photo shows one of my extra large Ali Baba water butts.

🥀 Feed your Roses. Now is the time to give your Roses their last feed of the Summer. From my perspective it has not been “a good year for the Roses” no matter what Elvia Costello says. The drought has left them desiccated and therefore open to everything from Aphids to Rust. But never mind there is always next year. By feeding them now you will set them up to be ready for Winter pruning and next years growth. There are lots of Rose feeds so take your choice, but don’t buy cheap ones as they won’t really work. The photo below show the one I am using at the moment.

🥅 Take nets off Figs. Assuming you have netted your Figs then they are probably now at an end and you have enjoyed a Summer of delicious Figs. If not then just pick off all the half pecked Figs that the birds have destroyed (I told you what would happen and you only have yourself to blame). Anyway, cut the nets off now, don’t try and save them for next year, it is not worth it as they will have holes in them somewhere.

If you have an espalier Fig as I have then begin the process of tying in this year’s growth. You will complete the tying in later when you prune. The first photo below shows my espalier Fig with its netting. The second photo shows a branch with a tie.

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🌱 Cut off citrus suckers. By now all your citrus trees should have their new fruit growing strongly. To ensure that all the goodness goes into the fruit and not into unproductive new growth, you have to cut off stem and trunk suckers. Suckers will be especially prevalent in old trees and can be seen as upward growing very bright green soft shoots. Just take them off by gently pulling down on them. The photo below shows one of my trees with the suckers marked and ready to be pulled off.

🌾 Cut off Yucca flower spikes. It has been a good year for Yucca flower spikes, so I hope you have enjoyed them. As the spikes die back cut them off so that the the plant does not go on to produce seed. This will be an ongoing task for the next few weeks as the spikes will come at different times. You can just leave them till they have all flowered, but this looks untidy and distracts from the lovely fresh quality of the new white flower spikes. The photos below show some of my Yuccas at various stages of flowering.

Yes I know it’s a gardening blog and the above heading does seem to suggest construction activity mixed with witchcraft and farming. But I can assure you it is about gardening, but just not as you know it. The problems started when Cruella (my wife) and I visited our English house to see our idiot son. Whilst in England, besides meeting the idiot boy, I tend to get stuck into our English garden whilst Cruella spends most of her time reading tea leaves.

Now as I’ve explained before our English garden consists of two parts a small open garden at the front that has Yuccas, a small walled bed and a large Cotoneaster. The back garden is long, narrow, walled and has a variety of climbing flowering shrubs growing up the walls. My work in this garden mainly involves extensive cutting back between visits. This in turn usually involves me in various feats of what I call “laddery” which is defined in the dictionary as “the effective use of ladders and/or steps to effect a task” – I made that up.

31st August: Things I have been doing lately.

🎢 Falling off a ladder in the front garden. The front garden in England needs to be tidied up twice a year. The big cutback is in January when I reduce the height of everything by using a hedge trimmer to reshape it all. But this time of year it is necessary to make some cosmetic cutting just to keep things in shape. In England you should never cutback hedges or trees till late August or September as this ensures all the bird chicks have left their nest. The photos below shows the front garden before it’s cosmetic clip.

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Now from the photos above you can see that the big Cotoneaster has begun to obscure the window of the lounge hence the need to trim and the use of ladders. Now ladders and I have a long history of parting company and usually when I am right on the top rung holding a chainsaw or hedge trimmer. And yes dear reader it happened again. I was leaning over right at the top of the Cotoneaster when I over reached and slid down the wall between the tree and the house. Having thrown the hedge trimmer sideways I gracefully and somewhat painfully made my way to the ground. I did intend to show you a photo of the newly trimmed front garden, but instead I have called in a Tree Surgeon who for a very reasonable sum will trim the Cotoneaster etc back to 3 foot and hopefully it will come back, but we shall see.

🎢 Falling off a ladder in the back garden. Having recovered from my front garden mishap I was determined to go on and tackle the back garden. Yes, this does need a bit of ladder work, but it is not so high and therefore less painful when you fall. The back garden is a typical English walled garden, if you keep it trimmed it looks lovely; if you don’t it looks like a scene from “Day of the Triffids”. The key to a late Summer trim is just to tidy and not to try and cut right back. In this way you allow for second flowering and retain things like interesting seed heads and Rose hips, all of which provide excellent Winter food for birds (that’s the second mention of birds my friends Hilary and Jeff will be pleased). The photos below show the back garden midst trim back.

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My next ladder incident occurred when I overreached across the wall just behind the brown bin in the second photo. Some long Rose branches were just out of reach and yes you’ve guessed I fell off the ladder on to the top of the wall and into the Rose. Not as spectacular as my front garden fall but just as dangerous. When Cruella (my wife came back from shopping with the idiot Son she berated me for my carelessness. Mainly she was concerned about where she would put me if I had died as we don’t have a compost bin in England. Anyway, the photo below shows the back garden neatly trimmed; but not shorn.

🗿 Garden statuary. I have long been a fan of discreet statues placed carefully around a garden in such a way that a casual visitor would come upon them and be delighted. Well, in cutting back the back garden and reshaping some ground coverage I opened up the vista to one of my favourite statues. This is the head of a female dressed either in classical or medieval garb I’ll let you decide. The photo below shows her in situ.

Unfortunately, having told you about my statue, Cruella has demanded that I share with everyone her choice of statue. The photo below is what I call “the evil Lamb”. Cruella says this used to belong to her Mother and is therefore an heirloom worthy of a prime position in our garden. Now I don’t know about you but this scares me. If you look at the eyes they are particularly evil looking and what’s more they follow you everywhere. I have woken up at night and it is in my bedroom just staring at me. And the times when I fell off the ladder I am sure I felt the ladder leg being pushed and heard a Lamb like laugh.

When I told Cruella (my wife) that I was Iron Man her only comment was that I was old, stupid, already had a bad knee and perhaps I should change my name to Rusty Man. Nevertheless she proposed adding Wheatbran to my daily porridge in the hope of increasing my stamina. I must admit she was a little disappointed when I pointed out that I was the gardeners equivalent of Iron Man which involved nothing more strenuous than adding Iron supplement to sickly plants.

21st August: Things I have been doing lately.

🏋️‍♀️ Adding Iron to supplement plants. In the current drought you might have noticed that some of your plants are taking on a “yellowy” hue. Now yellowy hues in plants are difficult to diagnosis. Sometimes it means you are over watering, sometimes it means you are under watering or it could just be a Daffodil. But sometimes it means you plant has a condition called “chlorosis”. The effect of chlorosis is that the leaves on your plant will start to turn yellowish and the veins in the leaves will begin to become pronounced. This means that the plant is not photosynthesising well because it lacks iron. The photos below show one of my Agaves which is in a pot and is turning yellow and also a bamboo that is similarly afflicted.

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The answer to this problem is an iron supplement watered in or scattered around the base of the plant, this helps the plant to photosynthesis more efficiently. These supplements can be bought at most good garden centres. The photo below shows the supplement that I use. I mix this with water to eventually form a mixture that is the same colour as Rosé wine. This is then poured into a watering can and the base of the plant soaked. You probably only need to do this once each Summer.

🌴 Cutting Palm fronds. Regular readers of this blog will know that I constantly advise to cut Palms regularly and often. Once Palm fronds are hanging below an angle of 90 degrees in parallel with the ground then they start to toughen up and eventually take on the consistency of iron (iron again, I want to be known as Iron Man). This makes it extremely difficult to cut them and can end up blunting even the sharpest of saws.

Well that’s the theory. Unfortunately, just this once I forgot about my twin Palm trees and only remembered to look up and check the tree when it was too late. From the photo below you can see that a number of the fronds has already turned brown and were like iron. This necessitated my getting a ladder out and proceeding to hack at the fronds; something that should have taken minutes ended up taking almost an hour. The worst part was that Cruella (my wife) offered to hold the bottom of the ladder whilst I was at the top. She does this sort of thing on a regular basis, but only after checking my life insurance policy. To distract her I told her I had seen some children in our wild wood and she ran off cackling hoping to catch one (she has a special net).

🍂 Adding leaves to my compost. I can only assume that everyone followed my advice last Autumn and raked all the dead leaves up and placed them in bags for later. The reason for this is that leaves cannot be added to compost at first, but must go through their own composting process before eventually being added to your compost heap. Well, now is the time. I have 5 green sacks full of leaves that have been happily composting away in the shade beside my compost bins. I will now add these to my compost bins in layers over the next couple of months. Although the leaves are not fully composted down the rest of the process will take place in the bin.

The photo below shows the first sack of leaves tipped into the bin and ready for the big compost. When Cruella (my wife) saw this she thought I had summoned a leaf man from the nether world.

As the old song says “you are sure of a big surprise”! No not the Teddy Bear’s Picnic. I’ve cut back the giant Agave Americana. This Agave is a vicious brute with long fronds over 8ft and each frond carries rows of sharp serrated teeth along its edges. Apart from that it is a lovely plant – but only to view from a distance. Anyway, I have 4 of these brutes at the top of the stairs leading down to my Wild Wood and I’ve been tackling them.

10th August: Things I have been doing lately.

🔪 Cutting back Agave Americana. As mentioned above this vicious but lovely statuesque plant needs to be cut back every 2/3 years otherwise its fronds droop and are in danger of ensnaring passers by. In case you forget what they look like the photo below shows my plants prior to the big cutback.

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Cutting back these plants needs to be organised carefully. You need the correct tools and the correct clothing. You can saw through the fronds with a handsaw, but it is much quicker with a chainsaw. You will also need a hedge trimmer to cutback the foliage of other plants that will impede your access to the Agave. Finally you need to cover up every visible part of your body. I wore a track suit tucked into my socks, my long sleeve, padded winter gardening shirt a hat and eye protectors. Yes, I did look ridiculous especially as the temperature was 37 degrees.

The first photo shows my lovely trimmed Agaves, the second shows the assembled tools and finally the spoils of war. I will leave the fronds to dry out for a few days before moving them as they are very heavy.

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🌱 Feeding the lawn. Now if you have grass you really need to feed it three times during the Summer: once in Spring, again in high Summer and later at the beginning of Autumn. I use a high nitrogen feed and utilise a spreader which stops me overdosing the lawn. From the photograph below you can see that this particular lawn is somewhat patchy, but I have all my preparations ready for a partial reseed on the worse areas in the Autumn. More later.

🌞 Drying out Figs. Those of you with Fig trees should by now be in the middle of full harvest. The best thing to do here is to pick the ripening Figs each morning, eat what you can (which in our case is lots) then dry the rest in the Sun (this does not apply to the U.K.).

First take your Figs, half them in two, place them on a mesh grill and then place them out in the Sun under a suitable protective cover. I recommend that you take them in at night as a heavy dew could spoil them or ants could find them. The photos below show my world famous Fig drying process. Overall it should take 3/4 days and they can then be stored in the fridge or freezer.

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What a cornucopia of gardening delights are summed up in this heading. Now we are at the height of Summer I am sure you are running around like headless chickens not knowing which job to tackle next. There are flowers to be deadheaded, weeds to be hoed, grass to be cut and the nightly watering ritual that has turned me into a Spanish version of Kipling’s “Gunga Din” – gardening and empire, I am spoiling you.

29th July. Things I have been doing lately:

🛏 Re-making a bed. A flower bed obviously before you ask. I have a number of island beds within my garden which every couple of years need a make over. The photo below shows the flower bed before its make over.

From the photo you can see the flower bed has been left with a profusion of Magreit Daisies that I have deliberately allowed to self seed into the surrounding shingle. The flowers surround a mature Sago Palm and in their first couple of years it looks interesting and very naturalistic. But, as I have left this for at least three years, with just a cut back every year, the Magreits have become woody and will not take another cut back, so it is time to clear up. Also, the Sago Palm is in need of a trim to keep its architectural structure.

The first thing to do is pull up the Magreits sometimes they can be quite tough to get up, but the reward is that underneath will be a number of seedlings which I will replant in this bed in September/October. The first photo below shows the poor old Magreits lying like plague corpses waiting to go in the charnel pit; but wait! there is new life as the second photo shows some seedlings (many more will come out now they can see the light).

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Once the Magreits have been cleared it was time to turn my attention to the Sago Palm. These Palms are relatively slow growing and very expensive so you don’t want to mess up the pruning and have it die. The rule here is you can cut back, but you must leave at least two rows of fronds at the top of the trunk. This is your insurance policy, it is possible to lose one row, but to paraphrase the words of Lady Bracknell, “to lose one row may be regarded as a misfortune, to lose both looks like carelessness”. Just snip round with lopers until you have just two rows left and then stop don’t be tempted to go any further. The first photo below shows the underneath of the unpruned Palm, whilst the second shows just how many fronds can come off.

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Finally, and this is the bonus. You remember that I told you a few paragraphs ago how expensive Sago Palms are, well this is your surprise. If you are lucky your Sago Palm will have produced some “pups” at the base of their trunk. These are mini Sago Palms that can be harvested and grown as completely new Palms thereby saving you a fortune. I will show you how to do this in a couple of months. In the meantime here is a photo of the pups to get you excited, and finally a photo of the completed bed.

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🦇 Beginning to harvest Figs. Yes, it really is Figageddon. Now I like Figs; no I actually love Figs, and if you have netted your trees you should be at the start of harvest. If on the other hand you have not netted your tree as I told you the other month, then all the fat over-Figged birds of the Costa Blanca thank you for the feast.

Figageddon, is not a term of exaggeration as I explained to Cruella (my wife) as I ran into her bedroom at 5am the other morning screaming “Figageddon is upon us”. To say she was underwhelmed would be an exaggeration; she didn’t even come down from the beam where she was hanging and I had to conduct the whole conversation with her hanging upside down and still with her wings wrapped around her. Anyway, I explained to Cruella that Figageddon is a technical term (which I have invented) for a “glut” of Figs that will overwhelm you unless you harvest every day. You need to check your Fig trees every morning. At first you will get 3 or 4 ripe Figs, then 6 or 7 , but it will gradually build up to “FIGAGEDDON’ where dozens will ripen each day. At this point no matter how many you eat, you will still have to give some away to friends, make Fig Jam or dry them like I do. I’ll tell you more about drying later. Meanwhile here is a photo of the start of Figageddon – you have been warned.

I know “deadhead and cutback”sounds like the employers of Bob Cratchit before he worked for Scrooge, but really it’s just the way to get two gardens in one Summer. If like most people you let your garden flower once and then just leave it alone, then you are missing out on a whole new flowering which is just like having two gardens. Now is the time to deadhead everything and cutback perennials and off it will all go again.

19th July. Things I have been doing lately:

🌿 Cutting back Lavender. Most people think that once Lavender has flowered then that is it. But no, if you cut it back you will get another full flush of flowering, and just as importantly you will get lovely flower heads which you can dry and place in your wardrobe to smell lovely all Winter. Or as Cruella (my wife) does to use in the spell of your choice.

The first two photos below show the Lavender near my water feature which have flowered and will stay like this if not cutback. When cutting back Lavender try not to go into new wood, just go to the bottom of the flowering stem and cut there. The third photo shows where to cut. Finally, and best of all store the cut flower stems in a plastic bag for a few days and let them dry in the Sun. once they are fully dry place them in small muslin bags and hang them in your wardrobe. If you haven’t got muslin bags then cut up an old pair of tights (but don’t tell Cruella, I have convinced her we have moths).

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🌺 Cutting back the seed pods of Pink Trumpet Vine. Lots of us have Pink Trumpet Vine in our gardens here in Campoverde. It likes the soil and it loves the climate. Although Pink Trumpet flowers profusely it will try and set its seed pods early if you let it. Once it begins to set seed then it will divert all its energy into this rather than continuing to flower. The photo below shows the distinctive and lovely seed pods hanging from one of my Pink Trumpet Vine. You need to cut these off now and the plant will continue to flower all Summer. I tend to leave the seed pods from late October as they make a nice Autumn feature. But now you must cut them back.

✂️ Cutting back Bird of Paradise. To be honest you shouldn’t really cut back Strelitzia in the Summer, but I just like to tidy it up a bit. The first photo below shows my Bird of Paradise looking a bit scruffy. When I prune it in the Winter I cut back the flowering stems to a joint. But when I am tidying up I take the cut right to the bottom and take the full stem out. The first photo shows the plant before it’s tidy up, whilst the second shows it post the cut back. Can you see the difference? No me neither, I am obviously wasting my time here.

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🌳 Cutting back potted Standards. If like me you have standards in pots whether it be Roses, Lantana or any of the other plants that are shown as Standards in Spain, then you now need to shape them up a bit. During June to August your standards will put on lots of leaf and flower, which would be fine if they were in the ground, but in pots they cannot get their roots down deep enough and therefore are constantly crying out for water. If you don’t want to end up with the arm length of a Gorilla from going backward and and forwards with heavy watering cans, then now is the time to reshape them.

I have two Standards which sit in large pots inside the gates of my swimming pool. In Winter I reshape them to tight “lollipops”, but in the Summer I let them expand and flower. By reshaping them now, they will continue to flower right into October and beyond.

The first photo below shows one of my poor Standards crying out for water. The second shows it reshaped with just about a third taken off. Finally you can see both reshaped standards sitting proudly outside the gates, within a week they will be back in full flower.

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🧛‍♀️ Cruella is in her counting house. We regularly raise money for “good causes” in our village and we entrust Cruella with counting all the loose change and then banking it. When I confronted her the other day about where she finds the money for her huge range of bikinis and matching nail varnish; all I got was the gleeful look you can see in the photo below.

It certainly is a busy time in the garden at the moment, the days just don’t seem long enough to fit everything in. But if you relax for even a moment the pests and diseases will overwhelm you. On that cheerful note let’s get on with what we are supposed to be doing.

6th July: Things I have been doing lately.

💧 Dealing with leaks. I know it sounds boring but you really need to check your irrigation systems at this time of the year. Don’t assume that just because you have set up an irrigation system that it will remain water tight for ever. Gradually, over time all irrigation systems leak, and sometimes not in a very obvious way. But slow persistent leaks can cost you a lot of money here in Spain, not to mention the cost to the environment and the plants that don’t get watered.

Turn each of your irrigation systems on one at a time and check that all your watering nodules are working with the correct pressure. Once you have done this and are satisfied that everything is getting watered, then go round and check all the joints, corners and connecting pieces. A small but persistent leak will cost you a lot of money. The photo below shows one of my systems that was leaking before the water timer and was therefore running 24 hours a day.

🍇 Treating the grapes for mildew. Every year it is the same story; the grapevine along the front of my house gets mildew. No matter what I do the result is always the same. The main culprit here is the fact that the Vine is against a wall and therefore does not have enough air circulation. If you have a problem of mildew then at the first sign spray. If however, as in my case, the mildew is too bad, then just cut off all the leaves and side shoots and dispose of them in the rubbish. The resultant denuded plant will soon sprout a second flush of leaves, you will lose the grapes this year, but, at least it will look nice. The first photo below shows my poor mouldy grapes (no pun intended). Whilst the second shows my bare grapevine.

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🐛 Beware the Palm Weevil. Now that Summer is at its height the Palm Weevil will be flying around waiting to destroy your Phoenix Palms. If your trees are small enough, then spray the crown with a proprietary Weevil killer. If not either call in a contractor or follow my home made method. I have drilled holes in all my Phoenix Palms and inserted a perforated tube halfway into the trunk. I have attached this to another tube that I wind around the tree. I pour a Weevil killing chemical into the tube which then acts as a reservoir and drips this into the tree there to be taken up to the fronds by the rising sap. This very effective method can be seen in the photos below. The first photo shows my tubing (or tree bondage). Whilst the second shows me pouring the chemical in – the old Fairy Liquid bottle is not product placement.

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🦅 Netting your soft fruits. If you have not done so yet, now is the time to net your soft fruits such as Figs. Although the fruit is not yet ripe the birds will be watching it closely, and if you are not careful they will get there before you. So if you don’t want fat birds (again no pun intended) then get netting.

When you do net it is important that you use a small mesh net to stop birds being caught in the net. I assure you it can be quite distressing to come out in the morning and find half a dozen fat birds hanging upside down in your net (I have already apologised for this pun).

Because our main Fig tree is getting quite tall I invited our tall friends Helen and John for a barbecue with the ulterior motive of coaxing them into net duty. From the first photo below you can see that together with Cruella they provided a very able net crew.

Once the net is in place it is important that you tie the net down to the lower branches of the tree. This serves two purposes. Firstly, it stops the net blowing away in the night and you having to go from garden to garden asking your neighbours if they have seen your net. Secondly, it stops the cleverer and sneakier birds from getting underneath. The photo below shows John tying in the net supervised by Cruella.

Once we had finished things starting taking a strange turn. Cruella started chanting, and then turning to Helen they began a strange harvest dance that ended in them hugging and “gurning” at each other. You can see them mid dance in the first photo. The second photo shows the finale of the dance with John still trying to get me to come out from under the tree.

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To be honest I am a bit too upset to talk about the terrible crime that has been committed in my garden, well ok, if you insist, but not now, at the end of this post as I don’t want you upset as well.

25th June. Things I have been doing lately:

✂️ Cutting back Dame de Noche. Those of you who have Dame de Noche (night scenting Jasmine) will know all about the fantastic and intoxicating perfume this plant give off at night. Thought it is quite an ugly plant it makes up for its lack of looks with its lovely night scent. If you have a Dame de Noche, and it has flowered you should now cut it back by one third to ensure you get another flush of flowers in late July/August.

If you haven’t yet got a Dame de Noche, then rush out and get one. If possible plant it close to where you normally eat out in the garden during summer evenings. The photos below show my Dame de Noche perfectly placed for sitting out in the evening; before and after its cut-back. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🧹 Tidying up Sago Palm. I have two Sago Palms, one a very large one that is planted directly into the ground and the other planted in a large pot. The one that is in the ground gives me no trouble, but the one in the pot is the plant equivalent of a juvenile delinquent. The main problem is that occasionally it gets a yellow tinge in its leaves which can look unsightly. Now the big question you have to ask yourself is am I under watering or overwatering and that is what is causing this. I have tried both; it has had the plant equivalent of “waterboarding” and also at other times been subjected to severe drought on a biblical scale. The end result is the same – a yellow tinge. I have tried feeding it some Iron, which normally works, but to no avail.

I have now decided to trim it up by removing layers of its fronds, I then fed it a weak general purpose feed and I have applied a new top coating of my best compost from my best compost bin (doesn’t everybody have a favourite compost bin?). The photos below show it before and after. I will let you know what happens.

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🍈 Thinning out Figs. Regular readers of this blog will know that I have been espaliering a fig tree for a few years now. And slowly but surely I am getting it up the wall. One of the problems with espalier is that because you are against a wall there is a problem with air circulation which can lead to mildew. Fortunately Figs are not known for mildew. But this year the crop of Figs is very large and there is a danger of overcrowding. When this happens you have to be bold and thin out the fruit. This can be heartbreaking as you are in effect cutting off roughly half your fruit. But this is a case of being cruel to be kind. Left overcrowded the plant will probably get mildew or some other horrible thing. Left to itself the plant will probably drop most of the fruit so by acting now you will save your crop.

Move through the plant cutting out where there is overcrowding, try to leave space between each fruit to allow air to circulate. The photos below show my Fig in all its glory and some of the fruit overcrowding. The final photo shows the discarded Figs; as a lover of Figs this breaks my heart, but it must be done. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🔪 Crime of the century. I don’t know how to tell you this, but someone has sabotaged my hammock. Let me set the (crime) scene for you. After a hard day gardening I like nothing better than to go and lie in my hammock whilst my new Pot Water Feature burbles away. Well the other day, after gardening under a scorching Sun I proceeded to my hammock with a good book and gratefully sank into its enfolding embrace. I only got as far as one swing, before I was thrown violently to the ground (verbatim from my Polices statement). Thankfully I wasn’t injured, apart from my dignity; I pride myself in being able to get in and out of a hammock with dignity. Anyway on inspection of the crime scene I believe I have detected cut marks on the various ropes holding my hammock together.

You know, and I know, who is at the heart of this. Who is the one person in my house who has access to a wide range of knives, axes machetes, spears, swords and other sharp implements and is constantly prowling around at night. Yes, your right Cruella (my wife). She had both the motive and the means. My quandry is this, there is no point confronting her as she will only deny it; and she perfected the trick of beating lie detector tests years ago. The local Police are useless as they don’t believe me when I tell them she hangs upside down to sleep at night. The only way forward is to trap her. I have ordered a new hammock and intend to set up a security camera with lights. My only worry is that sometimes she doesn’t show up on cameras.

The photo below shows the crime scene with my poor hammock lacerated and destroyed by the dark arts.

Let me start with an apology I had a severe blog malfunction in the last post as it would not work properly and in fact was published before it was complete. I have now updated and amended that post and hopefully normal service will be resumed. I do not wish to apportion blame but Cruella (my wife) noticed that she had not been mentioned in the post and complained vociferously. I stormed off to have a sleep in my garden hammock (more later) and when I awoke from my doze Cruella was standing over me holding a lock of my hair she had cut off along with some nail trimming she had taken. This all may perhaps explain the jinxed post. Anyway enough of this supernatural stuff let’s get back to gardening .

15th June: Things I have been doing lately.

🌵 Reworking a large Agave. As you probably know Agaves are lovely large structural succulents that add real presence to any garden. In my garden I have a number of mature plants that constantly produce “pups” little offshoots from their base that can be safely cut off and transplanted elsewhere. Unfortunately one of my large plants had begun to collapse due to its size and it has become necessary to rework the whole plant. The photo below shows the plant with its main stems lying on the ground.

Using a saw I cut off each of the main stems to create a potential further five plants. Each stem was planted in a simple hole that was first filled with water that was allowed to drain away. The stem is then simply placed in the hole and backfilled keep it lightly watered for a few weeks and you should have a new plant. The photos below show the main stem planted in our wild wood beside the steps leading down to our guest accommodation. A further two were planted elsewhere in the wild wood, whilst two were potted up ready to be planted in our Church garden in the future. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌱 Trimming grass edges on paths. I know this isn’t a glamorous job, but it is one of those small tasks that can instantly make your garden look neat and trim. Grass here in Spain is usually of the vigorous Gamma type which spreads horizontally. Although you don’t notice it, but over time it gradually encroaches on your paths or gravelled areas. You will need a trowel and hand-shears to do this properly. Use the trowel to lift the grass edges up, then use your hand-shears to trim it neatly in line with the path. The photo below shows my efforts.

⛲️ Another water feature. There is a part of my garden where I lounge in my hammock in the Summer. In this part of the garden Cruella (my wife) cannot find me and I cannot be seen from the house. I have always thought this part of the garden lacked something and then it suddenly came to me what could be better than the sound of running water. So I bought a large pot, dug a hole, lined it, fitted tubing through the pot. Persuaded my friend David to wire all the electrics up for me and now I have the perfect sound of running water whilst I swing backwards and forward. The photo below shows the new water feature together with some succulent cuttings I have placed around it.

When Cruella saw the photo above she insisted that she should have a photo taken in the hammock as well. So here she is accompanied by Tango one of our Labradors. You will notice that Tango is wet; Cruella turned him into a fish and he spent all morning in the pool.

🌺 Pink Trumpet in bloom. I thought I would leave you with a photo of the Pink Trumpet Vine I trained up an old shortened Palm trunk. I always tell people it looks like an exploding firework in Summer; and the good thing is this display goes on till the end of September.

The Summer garden is in full growth and it is important that you stay on top of everything. This means: trimming, cutting, spraying, deadheading and planting; and all of this before breakfast.

11th June: Things I have been doing lately:

🤷‍♂️ Harvesting garlic. You will remember that every October I just stick a few cloves of garlic into the ground under my Citrus trees. These happily sit there benefiting from the tree watering and fertilising and then up they pop in January and happily grow away till harvest time. You know when the garlic is ready to harvest by the fact that the outer leaves begin to yellow and then wilt. This is now the time to harvest. Using a trowel ease around the plant being careful not to damage the bulb as you ease the plant out of the ground. Once harvested place on a wire mesh or baking tray and leave in a cool well aired place for about 2/3 weeks. Do not attempt to wash the dirt off the garlic as this will cause the plant to rot. Instead wait until the plant is fully dried out and the leaves completely dry, then chop off the leaves and clean up the garlic. I will come Back to this at a later date. In the meantime, the first photo below shows the garlic being eased out of the ground, whilst the second shows it drying on the rack.

💨 Spraying Roses and Grape Vine. By now everything should be in full bloom and leaf, and this means you have to watch out for all the usual pests and diseases. If like me you have Roses, then you will know that certain plants get “rust” at this time of the year. Rust is a red/brown coating that some Roses are prone to get, which whilst normally it will not kill the plant, can be very disfiguring and blight your Rose blooms. The first photo below shows one of my Roses infested with Rust.

The only solution for rust is to spray. There are lots of proprietary brands of spray so the choice is yours. The second photo below shows the spray I use. It is important that you only spray in the evening as bright sunshine can act with the spray to create more damage.

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I have a number of grapevines and most of them happily avoid getting mildew; that is apart from the main vine which grows against a wall along the front of my house. The problem with this is that as it is against a wall and therefore does not have enough air circulating, hence the mildew. The photo below shows my mildewed grapevine waiting for its annual spray.

Again, you should only spray in the evening as in full sun you can end up scorching the leaves. The photo below shows the type of spray I use, there are others.

To be honest I have been back from our English house about two weeks, but I have been spending about 8 hours a day just trying to catch up with the garden. If I ever suggest leaving my garden for over two weeks at the start of Summer, then just shoot me. People keeping asking me why there have been no posts lately, now you know why; I toil all day and sleep on the lid of the compost bins at night. I have even been gardening by torchlight. Anyway, just to prove it, this is what I have been up to, and , if I’m doing it so should you.

22nd May: Things I have been doing lately.

✂️ Deadheading. My Roses in particular were in desperate need of deadheading. Before I left the first flush of flowers had almost ended and up until then I had been deadheading daily. Now the thing about Roses is that if you don’t deadhead then they will not repeat flower, instead they will use all their energy in making seeds and rose hips. The first thing I had to do was undertake a mammoth dead heading exercise. This was swiftly followed by spraying for greenfly. While I was away the greenfly had founded a new nation of greenfly and happily housed it in my Roses.

The first photo below shows the start of the dead head marathon. The second one shows the start of the Sprayathon.

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🌳 Trimming trees: The only trees I trim at this time of year are the Mulberry and Olive trees. The Mulberry has gradually been shaped over the years to provide a lovely shady spot for me to sit after mowing the lawn. Whilst the Olive has been subjected to my amateur topiary for a number of years and now looks lovely as a statement tree. If you have an unloved Olive tree and you are not using the fruit than have a go at reshaping rather than leaving it as big amorphous lump in your garden. The photos below show the Mulberry before and after its annual trim and a photo taken by me lying underneath the Olive tree; when Cruella (my wife) saw me lying under the tree she rushed off to check my life insurance policy and had already changed her profile on Match.com by the time I came in the house. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🌿 Thinning out borders. By now your bedding plants such as Marguerite and Carnations etc should be going over to seed and crowding your beds out. You now need to trim things back and make a little room for the second wave of plants. So get stuck in and be brave. Once you have created some space then hoe and weed the beds. When you are satisfied that the new plants have space then feed the whole thing with a general purpose feed. Feeding is important as your soil will easily become exhausted if you are growing things intensely as I do. The photos below show my flower beds at various stages of the process and finally a photo showing the general purpose food that I use. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🔪 Shredding the branches from the citrus trees. A couple of months ago I gave my Orange and Lemon trees a good prune. Rather than throwing the cuttings away I leave them aside until all the leaves have gone brown and the branches have dried up. I then shred everything and use some of it for my compost heap (carbon) but not too much. The rest I spread on paths in our wild wood garden. The photo below shows me mid shred.

🌱 Repotting cuttings. From previous posts you will remember that I took a number of cuttings at the end of Winter whilst I was pruning. These now need repotting on as they have been planted around the edge of pots and now need room to grow. I am particularly pleased with the Fig tree pruning as every one has taken and I now have 5 new Fig trees. The first photo below shows the cuttings when I originally pruned them. The second photo shows them planted up and the final photo shows my lovely new trees. Click on each photo for a larger view.

😢 Mourning the loss of my seeds. You will remember that I had carefully planned to alter my late Summer beds by planting a range of late flowering perennials such as: Geum, Gaura etc. Sadly the best made plans have gone astray. Whilst I was away my seed trays got baked in the Sun and my poor seeds never made it. The photo below shows my baked trays.

🐶 Taking the dogs out. Although not technically part of my gardening duties, it is nice now and again to take the dogs out for a long walk. Normally they just roam around the garden as it is big enough to keep them happy. So I thought I would show you them out and about to cheer myself up. Notice in the first photo they start out all enthusiastic, but they are soon seeking any shade they can find.

Yes, you have guessed correctly Cruella (my wife) and I are over visiting our English house. We are here amongst other things to celebrate my 70th birthday. Ok I know, I don’t look it, but that is one of the perks of having a Witch for a wife, that and living in a house with sweets stuck on the outside. Anyway this post isn’t about my garden as normal, but instead I wanted to introduce you to a garden I visited the other day which I think is worth you visiting if you are ever in England.

April 30th. Things I have been doing lately:

⛰ Visiting Riverhill Himalayan Gardens. The gardens are in Sevenoaks in Kent and are set over 12 acres. They were first laid out by John Rogers in 1840 and the house and gardens are still owned and run by the family. The plot is hilly with steep climbs in places, and overlooks the Weald of Kent. The soil is acidic which means it is perfect for the Rhododendron and Azaleas that were brought back from the Himalayas, and which make this garden special.

If you visit in Spring (as we did) you will have the special delight of the bluebell walks where you have drifts of wild bluebells growing throughout the woods and amongst the Rhododendron. There is also an excellent cafe which Cruella highly recommends as they let her stir their soup pot and do a little bit of chanting and cackling. Anyway, here are some of the highlights.

🌿 The bluebells. There are fantastic walks were you can get wonderful views of the bluebells. The photos below don’t really do them justice. Click on each photo for a larger view. The final photo shows Cruella wandering off into the distance; I told her to find some Witch-hazel and she actually went looking for a witch called Hazel.

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🌺 The Rhododendrons. There were lots of fine mature plants with a full range of colours. In many places the flowers were just starting to come through so it should look good for a month or so. The photos below can only hint at the full range. The final photo shows Cruella communing with a Unicorn she had found in a field; she was after its horn for spells. Click on each photo for a larger view.

⛲️ Rock garden, Ferns and water features. Those of you who are regular followers of this blog, will know from a past post that I have recently created a water feature in our Spanish garden. Well, when Cruella caught sight of the Riverhill water features she could barely suppress her mirth and kept comparing my puny efforts to those at Riverhill.

In addition to a formal water feature there is an excellent rockery and woodland pool that is surrounded by a fernery (if there is such a word) anyway, lots of ferns. The first photo below shows the blackboard that explains what they are trying to achieve, followed by some photos of the gardeners planting the ferns around the pool and finally the rock pool and the formal water feature. Click on each photo for a larger view.

👋 Meet the owner. Finally credit where it is due the owners of Riverhill have done a fantastic job in keeping the garden relevant and interesting. Whether you are a gardener or would just like a day out with a nice cup of tea, go and visit this garden it is a pleasure. The photo below shows Sarah Rogers who with her family and staff keep the gardens in such great shape.