Category: Uncategorized

Cruella (my wife) is still at our English house so things are relatively quiet round here. I have been happily gardening away in the lovely weather we are having at the moment and I am pleased to say that no major accidents have befallen me yet. However, I write from a locked down village where everything has been closed due to the coronavirus and we are not allowed to fraternise. I am even wearing a mask and my gardening gloves to bed. I feel Cruella may have had a hand in all of this.

12th March. Things I have been doing lately:

Beginning to feed plants. Now is the time when you can selectively begin to feed some plants. However, it is important that you do not over feed or you will just get soft leafy weak foliage. Instead, now is the time for an initial plant snack. Remember, like people you need to give the right food to the right plant. You wouldn’t give a baby steak, nor would you give an adult baby food; and the same applies for plants they need the right food at the right time. The photo below shows some of the range of plant foods that I use.

From the left:

• A general universal feed, don’t feed this till plants are growing strongly roundabout the end of April.
• A liquid citrus feed this should be a follow on top up food for Orange and Lemon trees a month or so after the granulated food.
• A slow release granulated citrus feed; you should give your trees a generous handful of this now whilst the trees are in blossom.
• A slow release granulated feed for non citrus fruit trees you should feed this to now to Figs, Persimmon etc.
• A liquid feed for non citrus fruit trees this should be given a month or so from now after the granulated food.
• Rose feed give each of your Rose bushes a generous handful now.
• Baked beans best eaten cold from the tin whilst standing around at night in your pants and vest.

When giving the granulated feeds make sure you water them in straight away. When feeding your citrus trees water in the granulated slow release food then cover the surface under the tree with compost from your compost bin, or, if necessary buy some from a shop.

Overseeing Palm pruning. Now is the time to get your palms trimmed so that the pruning cut can heal before the dreaded Palm Weevil is about. Note that I say overseeing. Please don’t try to prune or cut Palms yourself, it is a professional and dangerous job so make sure that you get a qualified professional. Don’t employ amateurs with chain saws, this is not how you prune Palms. The photo below shows some of my Palm trees nicely and professionally trimmed.

Taking cuttings. A side benefit of my annual palm tree pruning is that as the fronds are cut and thrown to the ground so they occasionally bash bits off plants. This can’t be helped, and I am quite forgiving. But, it does leave you with a number of potential succulent cuttings. All you have to do is collect them up, trim the stem neatly with a knife, then pull all the leaves off the stem apart from a few at the top. Then just pop them in prepared pots with a good free draining compost. In a month or so you will have a new selection of succulents for your garden, or to give to friends. Only do this with succulents at the moment as it is too early for general cuttings. The first photo below shows my cuttings production line in action. Whilst the second shows all my new little plants. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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Undertaking some general maintenance. Whilst plants are obviously the most important part of your garden, don’t forget that walls, paths, water features and other hard landscaping forms the framework for you to display your plants. Now is the best time to undertake any maintenance and repainting. Most plants will not have started vigorous growth and you can get access to everything. The photo below shows some of my handiwork painting the top of my front wall.

The day started with such promise. Cruella (my wife) was going to our English house to welcome back our idiot son from Japan. She left early as she was unsure of her new broomstick. But after a few spills she took off from the front lawn without any great problems; circled a few times, did a victory roll, cackled a bit and then disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.

I had my whole day planned. First a saunter round the garden to check on everything and then off to various shops and garden centres to indulge in a spending splurge before Cruella landed in England and checked our bank balance. All seemed set fair, but how wrong I was. When I left in the morning a stiff wind was blowing, but hadn’t yet reached the gale force that it would become before I got home.

I arrived back with various purchases and accoutrements only to find disaster. The wind had not only blown over and wrecked pots – that I could stand – but more disastrously it had whipped the cover off my little mini greenhouse and blown all the seed trays over. To put this in context, this post was going to be all about how the seeds were just sprouting and the start of another great gardening year. This comes on top of the great disaster of 2019 (Which of course you all remember) when all my seedlings got roasted in the Sun. I have tried my best to recover what was possible, but when you garden from seed it is a terrible blow as it means only cuttings stand between you and a disastrous year.

I have wandered round the garden reciting Rudyard Kipling’s great poem “if” especially the lines: “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same” – it doesn’t help; I may seek counselling. The photos below only give a hint of what I was faced with.

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Anyway, on with the show.

2nd March. Things I have been doing lately:

☠️ Killing broadleaved weeds on the lawn. If you have a lawn; and I do recognise it is a luxury in Spain, then now is the time to selectively kill broad leaved weeds. I mention broad leaved weeds in particular because these are the ones that will gradually shade out grass. As I have become older I am far more tolerant of general lawn weeds as I recognise their role in sustaining pollinators. However, now is the time to apply a selective weedkiller (one that does not kills grass) to your lawn. If you apply it now before the weeds flower then you will save yourself heartache later. The photo below shows the weedkiller I use (others are available) which works very well.

🐣 Pruning Bird of Paradise. Strelitzia which is more commonly known as “bird of paradise” grows very well in Spain and provides many gardens with an exotic look. To prune bird of paradise you need to differentiate between flowering stems ie those with flowers at the end, and leaf stems which do not have a flower. Leaf stems that are bending over and touching the ground can be cut right back to the ground without causing the plant any problems. However, flowering stems can be treated in one of two ways. You can, if you just want to tidy up the plant, cut a flowering stem right back to the ground. However, you can cut a flowering stem back to a fold about half way down the stem and it will flower again from that point by growing a new stem. When you cut, cut at an angle along the fold in the stem and it will regrow. You can only do this trick once before the stem will then wither.

The first photo shows the non flowering stems being cut back. The second photo shows where to cut for a second flowering. And the last photo shows the stems happily being recycled in the compost bin. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🍊 Pruning Orange trees. Yes it’s that time again. If you want lots of lovely oranges on your tree later this year, then you need to prune them now. It is always difficult to get the time of pruning right. Ideally, after the last orange is off the tree and before the blossom starts is the perfect time for pruning. However, who ever said gardening was perfect. If like me you have a number of orange trees then you will still have fruit on the trees when the blossom comes along. Well, nobody said it wasn’t tough being a gardener.

You should start pruning your orange trees by removing any suckers that are coming out of the branches. Suckers are soft, bright green growth that can easily be removed by just tugging them down and they will come off easily. Next, you need to cut out any branches that are growing straight up. Then you should cut out any crossing branches, or branches that are rubbing against each other. You should be aiming to have an open structure that leaves the centre of the tree open to air and Sun. Finally, you should lightly trim the outside of the tree and its height to ensure that fruit remains within reach. Yes, you will lose some blossom, but don’t worry as not every flowers turns into a successful fruit.

The photos below shows one of my trees at the start of the pruning process. You can see from this that the tree is in blossom, it has lost shape, and has some branches that are too high. Note that the tools needed include: secateurs, long handled lopers and finally an extendable trimmer for the top of the tree (if you are freakishly tall you won’t need these).

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The photos below shows suckers and an upward growing stem that needs cutting out.

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Lastly, I present you with the nicely pruned and trimmed tree ready to go forth and be fruitful.

It sounds like the Biblical end of days doesn’t it, especially when you take into account the huge plague of locusts currently flying around Africa. Anyway, it’s worse than that, I went to our English house and left Cruella (my wife) in charge of the garden, she didn’t even have to do anything. Not only did our English garden nearly get flooded, but when I returned she had allowed Nero (one of our Labradors) to dig a huge hole in our lawn. When I confronted her, relaying my near death flooding experience, and questioning why she had let Nero dig such a huge hole. Her only reply was “if I had stopped him he would only have done it elsewhere…and it serves you right for going away”.

14th February: Things I have been doing lately.

🌊 Getting flooded. Our English house is right beside the river Medway in Rochester, Kent. The garden itself is walled, paved and is mainly based around climbers covering the walls. The photo below shows how during the recent storms it was nearly turned into a water garden and the house into a house boat.

🌿 Cutting back Lavender and trailing Lantana. Now is the time to trim your Lavender and Lantana plants. With Lavender just trim the flower stalks back to the first leaves, do not cut into the foliage or you will damage the plant. The photos below show the Lavender before and after its trim.

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With trailing Lantana take about a third off the plant and try to cut back to just above a fork on each stem. By doing this you will ensure that you get good twin growth on each stem. The photos below show the Lantana before and after its trim.

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Replanting and splitting Canna. I love Cannas they are beautiful statuesque and real statement plants. The great benefit of Cannas is that as they grow from a Corm (ugly bulb) they produce babies every year so that your stock grows and you can divide and replant them; although you should only do this every 2/3 years. I grow my Canna inside a circle of irrigation but because of their habit of having babies they occasionally move outside my irrigation. This presents me with two opportunities. Firstly, I can dig up the mature Corms and move them back inside the irrigation circle. But secondly, before I do that I split them by gently pulling them apart to give me nice new plants. These can then be planted into new areas of the garden. The first photo below shows the Canna growing outside the irrigation circle (the culprits are circled in red). The second photo shows a split Canna ready for planting and the final photo shows how many new plants I got from this exercise. (Click on each photo for a larger view).

🏆 Planting seeds. If you want free plants then now is the time to plant seeds. I try not to buy plants, and where possible will grow either from seeds or cuttings. My main reasons for this approach is that I get great pleasure out of making seeds and cuttings grow; but also I think it’s more macho and allows me to look down on those who just buy plants – terrible, and I’m a Christian.

Anyway, most seeds can be sown now if you have some sort of shelter for them. I have a simple little plastic mini greenhouse with three shelves, but a window ledge would be just as good, just don’t let them get scorched. At the moment I am sowing Stephanotis as someone gave me some seeds and I want them to take the place of a climbing Rose that failed to flourish. I am also trying to grow a Norfolk Pine (bit like a Monkey Puzzle tree) to put in my wild wood. And lastly I am sowing Petunias to take the place of my normal Marigolds which have set a virus in the soil which now needs a few years rest without Marigolds.

The first photo below shows the Stephanotis seeds about to be sown. The second and third show the large Norfolk Pine seeds which are shield shaped. If you want to sow Norfolk Pine then you gently push the seeds into potting compost pointed end down but leaving the top of the seed just sticking out of the soil as in photo three.

The final photo below shows my little mini greenhouse. Should you get one of these then make sure you weigh it down with a paving slab on the bottom shelf to stop it blowing away in strong winds.

🐾 Repairing holes in the lawn. Those of you who are regular readers of this blog. Will be perfectly familiar with my Sisyphus like task of having to continuously repair our lawns only to have them dug up again by Nero (one of our Labradors). In each case I fill the hole in and complete the repair by placing a wire mesh over the hole to stop him digging there again. The only fault in my logic is that he just goes to another part of the lawn and starts again. Over the years my lawns have had so much wire mesh added to them that I am in danger of distorting Magnetic North and becoming a danger to shipping.

The photos below show the hole, the repair and the culprits. Cruella insists that Nero is more to be pitied than scorned and that his hole digging is “a cry for help”.

Yes, the literate amongst you (and this means all of you) will have seen that I have cleverly paraphrased Ernest Hemingway’s book title “The Old Man and the Sea” to convey the titanic battle that takes place annually between me and a large Bay tree at pruning time. Whilst the old man in Hemingway’s book is engaged in a struggle with a large Marlin at sea which comes to symbolise man’s struggle against the forces of nature. So, similarly I have been engaged in my annual struggle with a particularly large and vicious tree; but not at sea. Unfortunately Hemingway’s “old man” dies in the struggle, but I am pleased to say that I have survived this year.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t like to give you the impression that my survival is a foregone conclusion. This annual battle started weeks ago right at the start of the big annual cutback. As I walked around the garden the tree knew, and I knew, what was coming. We were like two boxers before a big fight eyeing each other up. I insult the tree and shout rude things at it, sometimes accompanied by a kick to its trunk. The tree for its part drops leaves and branches on me and encourages the birds in its branches to do their worst. So that is how we ended up with the stage set for yet another return fight. Right here we go: as the referee always says at the start of every fight “…protect yourself at all times” ding, ding.

17th January: Things I have been doing lately

✂️ Pruning trees. The last job you have to do to complete the annual cutback in Spain is prune back any trees that have become overgrown, unshapely or are cutting out light. I do not include fruit trees as they are not cutback at this stage. In my garden there are only two big trees that I include in the annual cutback.

🌼 Mimosa. The first tree is a Mimosa (Acacia) which is used to provide shade for our dog’s kennel and run. The Mimosa is not a long lived tree (10-20 years) but its beautiful yellow flowers make up for this. Mimosa is a Spring flowerer so you have to be quick pruning it or you could end up pruning the whole year’s blooms out. The only job I have to do with the Mimosa is to raise its canopy as it has the tendency to droop and cause more shade than we want to an adjacent lawn and on occasion when I am not looking it will creep into the house roof guttering. The photo below shows the Mimosa before pruning.

To prune a Mimosa you need to work on a bi-annual pruning cycle (this is not a mode of transport). In the first year, prune back branches with lopers and/or chainsaw. In the second year you should just need to use a long handled electric hedge trimmer and a ladder to raise the canopy. The photo below shows the Mimosa brought back under control.

🌳 Trimming the big Bay tree. Bay trees are everywhere in Spain as they love the climate. However, the majority of Bays that you see are overgrown unshapely lumps. To overcome the Bay’s untidiness the Spanish came up with the idea of cutting out the centre of the tree to leave an open donut of light at its centre. This fantastic innovation makes the tree shapely, lets in light to any underplanting and makes for a fascinating conversation piece. I did this some 10 years ago to this Bay tree and it has never forgiven me, hence the grudge.

The first photo below shows you just how unshapely the tree becomes over a year. From this photo you can see the challenge that I faced – which I believe would have daunted a lesser gardener. The second photo below shows me ready to begin the annual battle equipped with all the necessary armaments. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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Cruella (my wife) documented the battle in photographs; it was a bit disconcerting as she wore a complete camouflage outfit and kept asking me to call her “Kate Aidie”. At the time she told me it was a photo-shoot and that she was working for an agency seeking “mature” models; she said I had the potential to be a male model. It was only later that she confessed I wouldn’t be getting a lucrative contract and there was no Agency. It turns out that all she really wanted was some interesting photos for my memorial service if I died by falling out of the tree, or at least some shots for “you’ve been framed”. If you have a Bay tree and you wish to shape it in this way, then this is the process:

• cut out the central trunk down to where it joins with the network of lower branches.
• trim around the open space left by the trunk to make a clear round open space at the centre of the tree.
• trim the sides, top and bottom of the tree to form flat sides
• repeat the trimming process every year in January. Don’t worry you will never have to cut the trunk again

The tools you will need include:

• chain saw
• long blade electric hedge trimmer
• long handled lopers
• ladders and if possible platform

You may decide that it is better just to get in a professional tree surgeon as it can be both dangerous and tiring. If you decide to use a professional then make sure you get someone who is fully trained and accredited as they will have all the necessary skills and insurance.

Finally, God willing the Bay tree and I will fight it out next year in the annual return match. In the meantime here are some of the photos of me and the tree that Cruella (my wife) took for my forthcoming modelling career. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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🌾 Cutting back grasses. Sorry I misled you when I said that trees were the last part of the big annual cut back. As I wandered around the garden recovering from the battle with the Bay tree I discovered that I had missed cutting back my ornamental grass. Lots of you have ornamental grasses such as my Fountain Grass. These need to be cut back quite severely now. If you don’t do this now, then the grass will not flourish as it will become congested and also unsightly. Using a hedge trimmer just cut it back to a small mound. It will soon recover its former glory. The photos below show my Fountain Grass before and after its trim. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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This is the second instalment of the big winter cut back posts. The big Winter cut back is an essential thing for all Spanish gardeners to do in January; failure to do this will result in your garden looking, tired, untidy and generally unloved. If you are following this blog closely – and I know you are – then you will remember that the first Winter cut back post covered mainly Roses. This post deals with climbers, hedges and statement plants. The final post will deal with trees, and this is the stage I dread, as it involves chainsaws, ladders, great heights and generally falls and spilled blood. But hey, we gardeners are made of tough stuff and the local hospital keeps special blood plasma for me. Talking of blood did you see “Dracula” on the BBC over Christmas? Cruella (my wife) was enthralled as she thought it was a documentary and kept telling me it reminded her of her childhood. Right, are you ready? let’s get on with it.

9th January: Things I have been doing lately

🏡 Recreating views. If you look at your garden there are certain vantage points that creat views and vistas within your garden. These are the positions in the garden that look at their best viewed from a certain standpoint. I have a number of these in my garden but the one I want to deal with is the view as you move down our drive. This is probably the least important, but sets the tone of the garden for those arriving by car.

The end of our drive has been composed (this is a fancy term for lots of plants working together) to present a nice view whilst at the same time hiding the garden shed from direct view. The first photo below shows this view before it is pruned back. The second photo shows that I have cut back the hedge, trimmed the trunk of the Peruvian False Pepper tree and reduced its hanging branches (this tree is common in Spain and looks a bit like a weeping willow). (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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You can see my battery leaf blower in the second photo. This is a Black and Decker model (others are available). I have included this because it is one of the most useful tools you can have here in Campoverde. Because we are surrounded by Pine trees, pine needles are a constant clean up problem. This light weight battery model will not do the job on heavy leaf clearance but it is ideal for this type of work and saves you getting out your big blower (no pun intended).

🥔 Cutting back Solanum. The Solanum is a climbing plant that is a member of the potato family. This is a prolific flowerer a great climber and easy to maintain. I grew this plant from a cutting and have grown it up the side of our outside kitchen. It happily grows all Summer (can grow to about 25ft) and flowers like crazy. In the Winter all you have to do is use a hedge trimmer to trim it back close to the wall by taking off all the side shoots. This first photo shows the Solanum before it’s trim back, whilst the second shows it newly pruned. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view). At the risk of making this blog into a “tool blog” the small platform you see in the photos is a great aid to trimming hedges etc as unlike a ladder you don’t have to move along so often.

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🌱 Trimming back Jasmine. Jasmine is one of those plants which is every where in Spain, but all too often it is a sulky heap of leaves hanging off a trellis which it is doing its best to pull off the wall. The reason for the Jasmine looking so sad is that it has grown up and then flopped over. By flopping over it kills the growth beneath and leaves you with what looks like a healthy plant but really it is just disguising decay. If you look at the first photo below the Jasmine looks healthy but only because the new growth is hanging over the old growth.

The second photo shows the Jasmine trimmed back ready to get flowering across the whole plant. If your Jasmine has just gone too far and a lot of it has died back, then be brave and cut it right down to the ground. You won’t get flowers this year, but the reinvigorated plant will grow like crazy and flower next year.

🌴 Trimming climbers around an old Palm tree trunk. In Spain it is often necessary to cut down old Palm trees or those damaged by the Palm Weevil. Most people when faced with an unwanted Palm just have it cut down leaving an ugly stump in the ground; or, even worse try to cut the trunk down to about 3ft and then plonk a table top onto it and pretend it is a garden table. The latter approach never works because it is always in the wrong place and you end up sitting around this makeshift table in obscure corners of your garden.

If you have to get rid of a Palm cut the trunk to about 12ft, cover it in mesh and then grow climbers up it; it can look spectacular in the Summer. But like everything else you need to cut it back in January. The first photo below shows my old Palm tree at the height of Summer covered in climbers including Pink Trumpet Vine. The second photo shows it ready for a trim. The third photo shows it newly trimmed with a hedge trimmer. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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👩🏿‍🦳 Cutting back Dame de Noche. Everyone in Spain should have at least one Dame de Noche (night scented Jasmine). This plant is not what you would call “a looker” but what it lacks in looks it makes up for in scent. If treated properly and pruned at the correct times this plant will produce an intoxicating scent throughout long Summer evenings and is especially valuable if planted close to where you sit out in the evening.

Dame de Noche is pruned twice a year but in different ways. After it’s first flowering in late May/June cut it back by one third and it will flower again from August into the early Autumn. In the January cut back you need to take away two thirds of the plant; be brave it will come back just as vigorously. The first photo below shows my Dame de Noche prior to its second prune. The second photo shows the shorn plant ready to spring into action by mid February. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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🌳 Trimming hedges. This is the second biggest job in the annual cut back as I have lots of mixed flowering hedges. As I walk around our village of Campoverde I see many hedges spilling over walls and fences. This not only gives an untidy look to your garden, but also, it reduces flowering potential as often the hedges are exhausted by flowering on over extended branches. How much you cut back is up to you, but try to trim to a natural boundary like a wall or fence. In addition it is important that you do not trim the sides square as this will just shade the lower branches and lead to die back. Instead try to bevel the trim so that it is wider at the bottom and narrows towards the top.

The photos below give an overall impression of the mammoth task I undertake in hedge trimming – I’m not seeking sympathy only understanding. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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Yes, I know that Christmas is gone and that you are left fat, with no sense of purpose and an empty wallet, but the real fun is about to begin. It’s time for the big annual cut back – hooray! Here in Spain from late December and throughout January you need to cut back all of your perennials, bushes, trees etc; but not succulents. You need to do this for three reasons: First, to reshape your plants; if you don’t you will get uncontrolled growth that will leave you garden looking like a burst cushion. Second, by cutting back you can get rid of weak, diseased and crossing growth that is stopping light reaching the centre of the plant. Third and most importantly it’s great fun and you get to use all your dangerous bits of garden equipment – what’s not to like. Finally in the words of Cruella (my wife) who has been reading a book on motivational Psychotherapy over Christmas – “get out in that garden fat boy”.

30th December: Things I have been doing lately

✂️ Cutting back Canna. You will of course remember that a few posts ago I tied up my Cannas and left them to die back in order that all the goodness from the stems would be fed back into the Corms (ugly bulbs). Well now is the time to cut them right back. With Cannas you need to cut the stems back to about 4 inches from the ground. This length will stop them trying to grow again on last years growth and will also keep the cut and drying stems away from infection by the soil.

The first photo below shows one of my Canna clumps ready for its big cut back. The second photo shows the stems cut back and ready for new growth. The marked areas on the second photo show where the corm has thrown up new plants outside of where I want them. In a few weeks I will dig down and cut these off the mother plant and replant elsewhere. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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💐 Pruning Roses. One of the first plants you need to tackle in the big cut back is Roses. As a rule of thumb, Roses need to be cut back severely. However, before you rush out and hack all your Roses down to the ground it is important that you differentiate between climbers and standard Roses. Climbing Roses are not cut to the ground. Instead you should only do the following:

• Leave the overall height of the plant as you want it to grow and climb.
• Cut out all diseased, crossing or weak branches.
• cut back all side branches by two thirds.

By the end of this process you should have taken away a lot of the side bulk of the plant and encouraged upward growth and new flowering stems ready for the flowers. The first photo below shows one of my climbing Roses before it’s annual prune. The second photo shows it’s new svelte figure. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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Standard Roses are tackled differently. If they are relatively new (in their first year), then cut them back only by a third. If however they are already well established then you can be quite brutal. I will take some plants back to a couple of inches from the ground depending on their stem structure. Again follow the same rules as climbing Roses in terms of cutting out diseased, crossing or weak branches. But then cut the whole thing back to 2 or 3 inches from the ground. Try and aim for a nice open shape of the stems – a bit like a champagne glass – to ensure plenty of light gets into the centre of the plant. The first photo below shows one of my Rose beds ready for pruning whilst the second shows another pruned back. From the second photo you can see that perennial grasses sneak in and grow under the Rose stems. This results in my annual battle to remove the grasses; it not only takes a long time, but also results in severe blood loss, by the end I am positively anaemic. (Click on each photo for an enlarged view).

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🍁 Continue clearing up leaves. By now every leaf should be off your deciduous trees and you should now rake everything up. It is important that you do this for two reasons. Firstly, if left on the soil or gravelled area the leaves will initially smother anything that is underneath them. But secondly, and more importantly they will eventually break down to a fine tilth that will clog your gravelled areas up and present an ideal medium for weeds. The first photo below shows the last of the leaves under my Mulberry tree ready for raking up. The second photo shows the leaves placed into a bag, which I aerate by making holes with a fork. The bag is then set aside for six months to compost down and then added to my compost bins. Cruella (my wife) laughed when she saw the second photo and said if I included it people would think I was stupid. But she has no soul and doesn’t understand the miracle of composting.

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😢 Nero has had an operation. For those of you interested in cute photographs of animals I include below a photo of Nero one of our Labradors. Nero snapped all the ligaments in one of his back legs and now has pins holding his leg on (at great expense). The gardening link is that Nero is the dog who given half a chance will dig up the lawn. I took him for a walk on the beach and he was chasing a ball when his leg just gave way. Cruella claims that I did it on purpose to get my own back on him. But she wasn’t the one carrying the fat, wet sandy sod a quarter of a mile back to the car. And anyway, he started it first.

Cruella (my wife) said that I shouldn’t say this sort of thing as it may be misconstrued as boasting and could result in my blog being listed under pornography as opposed to gardening, and that I may get unsavoury characters looking at my blog. My only reply was that they would be disappointed. Anyway, setting aside all vulgarity, and I don’t mean to boast, but all this rain in the past month has resulted in the fact that the orange harvest this year is enormous which means you can start harvesting oranges now.

4th December: Things I have been doing lately.

🍊 Beginning to harvest oranges. Normally around here you could start harvesting oranges about the end of December or early January. But because of the rain the oranges have swollen up to quite an extraordinary size and they haven’t stopped yet. Oranges will continue to swell right through till nearly the end of May. The only problem with all this swelling is there a strong propensity for the skin to split which in turn lets the birds and insects in to the fruit which is then spoiled.

You should try and pick some oranges every day to juice or eat. Pick the largest fruit first as these are the ones in greatest danger of splitting. If you haven’t got a juicer then go and get one as this is an effective way of using and storing orange juice. The photos below show some of the record harvest, together with my juicing implements and lastly a photo of me in my special juicing apron (doesn’t everyone have one). I apologise if it looks like I am eating my phone, but I don’t know how to take a selfie and Cruella was out taking a torture class. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🍇 Pruning grapevines. If you haven’t pruned your grapevines yet then you really need to get on with it. Trim back all side-shoots to leave just the main stem. Once you have trimmed it back the plant will spend a short time resting, but in late January you will start to see the new leaves coming through. If you leave grapevines unpruned then they just become a big sprawling unsightly mess. Once you have trimmed back to the stem then make sure the stem is firmly tied to what ever structure you are growing the plant up. The Winter winds can easily tear the stem loose and let it thrash around and become damaged. I always use wire in Spain as the sun just rots wood very quickly. The photos below show my various grapevines before and after their annual trim up.

🌴 Pruning European Fan Palms. I love Fan Palms and they look elegant. However, they grow like “Topsy” – note literary reference, and they can be dangerous at eye level. I have a lovely stand of these Palms which we have placed in a raised round bed which stands in the middle of the main path to the front gate, with the path flowing around the bed. This looks lovely until the fronds start to poke out over the path and into everyone’s eyes. This one of my least favourite jobs as the stems are filled with strong spikes and the Palms fronds give you painful (paper) cuts.

If you have European Fan Palms then you have to prune at two levels. The low level will be new self seeded plants coming through (which are technically termed eye pokers). Whilst the higher ones are the fronds that are dipping below 45 degrees and need taking off to ensure the plant retains its jaunty look (well I think it looks jaunty). The photos below show the Palm in its original dangerous state, me manfully tackling the high branches, the final trimmed palm, and some of the fronds trussed up ready for recycling. Click on each photo for larger view.

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💦 Harvesting rain water and turning compost. No this is not about prostate and bowel problems, but about the need to catch water when ever you can. Here in Spain it is quite common for us to go for months without rain so it is imperative that you have a system in place to capture rainwater. I have various systems but the main one captures all the water that falls into my tiled pool surround and then channels this through a pipe into a large 1,000 litre tank. When there is so much rain that the tank overflows, I siphon the water out into large plastic dustbins. The beauty of this system is that I can add and take away the dustbins when necessary. In effect the dustbins are neatly stacked one inside the other all Summer and only come into use when needed. The photo below shows my emergency bin cohort in place ready to to siphon off the downpour.

Another important job to do when it is raining, is to make sure that you open the lids of your compost bin to moisten the compost. I have been known to wake up in the middle of the night, hear it is raining, and rush out to open the bin lids, (of course I’m a bloody idiot). Once your compost is nicely wet then you need to turn it over to make sure that it is composting down evenly and that you are spreading the moisture. The photo below shows my compost bins. The nearest one is the resting bin which is being left to compost over a period of six months or so. You can see that it is already showing good results. The further bin is the active bin which is being filled now.

Cruella (my wife) has gone to our English house for her birthday (101 in Witch years). She flew the usual way: broomstick class, but, before she left she cautioned me to be careful in the garden, mainly because she worries about my habit of injuring myself whilst she is away. Highlights of my injuries during her previous absences include: split skull, lacerated fingers, numerous falls off ladders, and dislocated fingers.

However, this time there was something different about her warning, it was a curious mixture of menace and malice mixed with false concern for my health. Anyway the upshot was that I was reworking a water feature when without warning the large cactus that I was working under reached down and assaulted me by whacking me on the head with a spine filled branch. This resulted in a scalp full of small painful spines that have all managed to travel under my skin and will take weeks to come out. The photo below shows the culprit; I think it is smirking in a cactus type way.

28th November: Things I have been doing lately.

🌿 Repairing the lawn. Regular readers of this post will know that I spend an inordinate amount of my time repairing various lawns as Nero (one of our Labradors) proceeds to dig them up at every opportunity. To stop him digging in the same place I repair the lawn by infilling with a mixture of soil and compost and then place wire mesh over the damaged spot and pinning it down with large lawn staples. The photos below show the culprit at the scene of the crime and my remedial work. My lawn now has so much metal in it that there is a danger that it will come alive like Frankenstein during the next thunder storm. (Click on each photo for a larger view).

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✂️ Tidying up unruly plants. Often you will find yourself with a plant that has gone “ugly”. Either it has grown lopsided or it has been damaged by the weather. If this is the case, then now is the time of year to tidy it up and take some cuttings. Most plants have stopped growing for the Winter, but are still capable of below ground growth at their roots. The plant below sits on the edge of my veranda and is in need of sorting out. The first photo below shows it before tidying up, whilst the second shows it cutback and ready to grow.

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The benefit of this process is that you should get some nice cuttings to plant. The photo below shows some viable cuttings. These are then trimmed back to a leaf node, dipped in hormone rooting liquid and planted up. With a bit of luck some or all will survive and give me more free plants.

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🧺 Saving soil. In Spain it is extremely difficult to get good top soil – I don’t know why – but it just is. Any soil I have ever bought in was either clay which was useless in the Sun as it turns to concrete, or, so full of rocks and stones as to be worthless. The best way to secure a good planting medium for your garden is to save the soil you dig up when planting trees or shrubs etc. The benefit of this approach is that your soil will be fully acclimatised to your garden and likely to be more friendly to your plants then anything you buy in. But before you use this soil you need to first use a sieve or similar to remove stones and rubbish, and then add some store bought compost to enrich it for the future. Once you have completed this process then just store the finished soil in an old compost bag for future use.

The first picture below shows my patented self built “over wheel barrow soil sieve” (catchy little title, it should sell well). The second photo shows the effectiveness of my invention.

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💡 Installing lighting in my orchard. I am a big fan of having an interestingly lit night garden. By using lights in your garden you extend the usefulness and beauty of your garden. Lights are particularly spectacular if they are used to pick out trees as under lighting. The photos below show some of my newly installed lights. I fitted them, but was ably assisted by technical consultancy from my friend David. If you have not yet seen the tour of my night garden then look it up on YouTube, just search for the following “Spanish Garden – a night tour of an illuminated garden in Campoverde”.

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I honestly believe if the above title was set to music we may just have a shot at winning the Eurovision Song Contest. Be that as it may I will have to set aside my song writing ambitions as there is so much to do in the garden and “Winter is coming” as they tended to say in that well known gardening programme “Game of Thorns”.

16th November: Things I have been doing lately.

⛓ Tying up my Cannas. If you have Cannas then it is important that you tie them up as the current strong cold winds will blow the stems over. In about a months time we can cut the stems off, but at the moment we need all the goodness from the plant to retreat down through the foliage and into the Corms (ugly fat bulbs). This process will ensure that the corms are fattened up ready to burst forth in the Spring with strong new foliage. The first two photos shows my Cannas being battered by the wind, whilst the third shows them nicely tied up. Cruella (my wife) helped with this; first she stilled the wind and then she tied the knots in the string. She is actually in the third picture but you won’t see her as she casts an invisibility spell on herself especially if she hasn’t got her make up on. (click on each photo for a larger view)

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🔪 Pruning Fig trees. Fig trees have a habit of getting very large which makes it impossible to get the fruit right at the top. All over Spain you can see giant overgrown Figs trees in gardens that now require a chainsaw if you wanted to prune them. But it needn’t be like this. You need to prune your Fig tree every year to bring it down to the same size as your height. Normally Fig trees fruit on new wood, so by bringing the tree down to your height you are bringing the fruit within reach. You will need a saw, lopers and secateurs, and make sure they are sharp before you begin.

I have two Fig trees, a standard one and an espalier that I have been training for about 5 years. For a standard Fig tree, start by cutting out the following:

• Diseased branches
• Branches growing down towards the ground
• Branches that cross over
• Branches that are closer than 45 degrees to another branch

Once you have done all of the above then take the leading branches back to a viable bud. At first this can all look scary, but don’t worry the tree will soon burst into leaf and hopefully next years fruit will be bigger and better.

If you have an espalier then take off all the back branches that are against the wall then cut off any branches and stems that do not conform to your espalier wires. The first two pictures below show my trees prior to their pruning.

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The next two photos show the trees now neatly shorn and ready for another growing season.

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🌱 Weeding around bulbs. By now bulbs should be showing through in your flower beds, but unfortunately mixed in with the bulb stems will be grass shoots. Now the danger here is that you will hoe out the bulbs thinking they are grass. To ensure you don’t make this mistake you need to indulge in some wild gardening; yeah that’s right you’ve got to take off your gardening gloves and get down on your knees. Get amongst the bulbs and feel each stem. Bulb stems will normally be round and taper quite rapidly. Grass on the other hand is thin and blade like and does not taper so rapidly. All you need to do is break off the grass stems; and keep doing this once a week until such time as the bulb stems shade them out. The photo below shows me wild gardening amongst bulbs.

✂️ Cutting back hedges. If you have hedges that have stopped flowering then now is the time to tidy them up; especially if they are overshadowing borders or lawns. Now, I am not talking about the big January cut back you need to leave this till later so that the birds and insects can have their last feed. Just trim things back into shape. The first photo below shows part of my flowering hedges that grow over and shadows the lawn. I don’t mind this when they are full of flowers, but now that flowering has stopped they need to be trimmed or the lawn will die. The first photo shows the overgrown hedge, whilst the second shows it cut back and letting light get to the lawn.

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Which of course is what PP Arnold should have sung way back in 1967 instead of all that “deepest” stuff. What sort of gardener sings about deepest when really it is the Winter lawn song. Yep, it’s true as I perambulated around my lawn making the final cut for this year I belted out our Winter anthem “the last cut is the sweetest”.

6th November: Things I have been doing lately

✂️ Making the final cut of the lawn. If you have a lawn, and I hope you do, (because too many people in Spain turn their garden into a tiled car park) then now is the time for the final cut of the year. Speaking personally I leave the last lawn cut as long as possible in order for pollinating insects to get their final fix of nectar and for the birds to get their last feast of pollinating insects (the circle of life). When you make this final cut, it is important that you raise your lawn mower cutting blades as high as you can. The reason for this is that the grass will now stop growing, or grow only slightly. This means that any wear and tear of the lawn will not be replaced by new growth, and if your not careful you could end up with a threadbare lawn by next Spring. This is especially the case if you have marauding Labradors as we do.

The first photo below show me strimming the lawn edges prior to the final cut. Cruella (my wife) said that we should dress up a bit to try and revitalise our relationship. At least I made an effort; I asked if she was happy with my outfit, but she said she was expecting a “Fireman”. The second photo shows my lawn mower resplendent in the finished lawn but minus me and emulating the “Mary Celeste”.

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🍁 Clearing up Fig leaves. Now I know it is normal to clear up leaves after they have all fallen. However, the exception is Fig leaves which tend to fall over an extended period of time. Because they are so large these leaves can blanket and suffocate new seedlings and dormant plants. This is especially the case if there is any rain and they become sodden. Ideally you should try and rake them up each week. The easiest thing to do is to leave a plastic bag near to the tree and just fill it up as you go. At the end of all this we are going to compost the leaves, but that is for another post. The photo below shows one of my Fig trees half way through shedding its leaves.

🌱 Planting out seedlings. If you have gathered and grown on self seeded seedlings, then now is the time to plant them out so that they can get established in the warm soil before the ground cools down. This will give them some growth and a good head start in the Spring. I gather lots of seeds which will be started off in the Spring but the self sown seedlings of Marguerites and Osteospermums, (I mention both because my eagle eyed friend Jackie told me off for just saying Marguerites last time) if grown on should be ready for planting now.

I have gathered and grown on over 100 of these; and remember these are all free plants. The two photos below show some of my beds being planted out ready for next year. When planting seedlings it is important to remember the size of the final adult plant. All too often people plant seedlings too close together and end up with overcrowded planting where each plant cannot express itself or reach its full potential (sounds like an election manifesto promise)!

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☁️ Cloud pruning Ficus. In recent posts I have talked about the necesssity of reshaping some plants before the big Winter cutback. This ensures that they will keep a good pleasing shape throughout the Winter months. Where I find that plants/trees are turning into large shapeless lumps then I always consider cloud pruning them to give them all year interest. Ficus is a good candidate for cloud pruning. It is slow growing and the variegated variety looks stunning when cloud pruned.

The first photo below shows my large variegated Ficus before it’s annual reshaping.

The second photo shows the Ficus after I have unleashed my artistic talents on it. Cruella (my wife) often asks me what shape I have pruned it in to. I adopt a far away look in my eyes and say that “Art is an expression that transcends religion, culture, country, people and time.”. Her only response was to call me a prat.

No, this is not a Halloween special it’s just another week in the garden. I’ll explain later, but we really must get on as Summer has ended and Autumn is chasing me around with so many things to do. Are you ready, let’s go.

28th October: Things I have been doing lately.

🥅 Taking nets off trees. Now is the time to start taking nets off your Fig and other fruit trees. By now all the fruit should have been eaten (hopefully by you and not the birds). Leaving the nets on any longer will impede Autumn leaf fall and be a danger to the birds. Don’t try and save your net; it’s not worth it and it will be damaged already, if not you will undoubtedly tear it as you take it off. However, you should save any CD’s or other repellents that you have hung on your tree as these can definitely be used next year. Cruella (my wife) still asks what ever happened to her CD of the Monster Mash by Boris Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers, I just smile knowingly.

The photo below show one of my Fig trees ready to be de-netted. The second photo shows the net ready to be dumped and the CD’s all set to be saved till next year; shush!

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🐛 Dealing with Sawfly. Now I really shouldn’t be dealing with Sawfly caterpillars at this time of the year, as normally I would have battled with them from round about March to May. And I did, every day I was out there making sure no Sawfly Caterpillar had a free meal on my Roses. But, they are back and like Arnie in the Terminator they mean business – I blame global warming!

Sawfly Mummy’s (or the bitch as we gardeners call her) saws a long strip out of the stem of a Rose and then lays her eggs in nice little boxes. All the caterpillars hatch at the same time and proceed to voraciously eat down the Rose till they reach the ground where they bury themselves until they emerge next year and guess what; “the bitch is back”

The first photo shows the damage they can do to a Rose. The second photo shows the naughty caterpillars and their birth place. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🛏 Re-making beds. Obviously I am not talking about household matters, but preparing your flower beds for next year. Now is the time to take out all those tired leggy plants, renew the soil and plant you new seedlings.

From the photo below you can see that the flower beds down the edge of my drive have gone floppy and leggy. Now I tolerate this for a while as it makes for a nice end of Summer display as the plants droop and soften the view of the drive. However, if I leave it much longer it will be too late to get seedlings in whilst the ground still has some heat. The second photo shows their final resting place from where they will rise once again next Easter. (remind you of anyone).

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Once you have cleared the beds then be sure to water them before adding compost as the addition of the compost mulch will then lock in the moisture. The first photo shows one of my nicely cleared beds with just perennials left. The second photo shows the mid watering process; notice I am using a watering can and rainwater – Extinction Rebellion would be proud of me.

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The next stage is to add a compost mulch from your compost bin. Add about 2 inch depth of compost. If you do not have a compost bin (why not it is so easy) then just buy some bags of compost from a garden centre and spread it over. The long term aim of using a compost mulch is to provide a good soil structure that is full of micro-nutrients that plants love. The first photo below shows my half empty compost bin. The next photo shows my wheel barrow of black gold ready to go on the soil.

Don’t begin planting into the flower bed for at least two to three days. The reason for this is that Blackbirds will zoom in on your new compost and dig around for tiny insects. Although this can be messy, at least they won’t be digging up your newly planted seedlings as they do it.

🌱 Repairing the lawn. Now is really the final time you can repair your lawn this year as the grass is stopping growing. Because of our two Labradors this is a perennial problem. The photo below shows Nero the golden Labrador sitting and explaining to me that Nero who is skulking in the back ground is sorry and won’t do it again.

🧟‍♀️ Giant blood oozing maggots and Sawfly Caterpillar soup. When I told Cruella (my wife) that I was emptying the compost bin and that the Sawfly Caterpillars were back, her face lit up. She enquired coyly “will there be maggots”. As we approach Halloween she is always looking for new recipes and with this in mind she proceeded to boil everything into a nice gloopy soup. If you are not doing anything over Halloween pop round there is still plenty left. The photo below shows the maggots which if touched ooze blood.

We are at our English house and it is pouring with rain, and just as I was about to go into the garden. In the meantime Cruella (my wife) has gone shopping with our idiot Son. We are having people round tonight and she is doing a buffet. When I asked what was for dinner she said “nothing special just the usual: Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing”. Sounds yummy; I didn’t dare ask what we were drinking.

In the meantime I am stuck inside, unable to get near the garden because of the weather. The photo below shows my predicament. As we live right on the river bank it can look a bit miserable when it rains. But the second photo shows the lovely Autumn colours that are just creeping into the garden and that is some compensation.

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12th October: Things I have been doing lately

✂️ Reshaping and pruning. To compensate for my lack of English gardening I thought I would tell you about the stuff I was doing just before I left Spain. As summer ends you need to prune and reshape plants that are normally kept in a nice tight growing shape. This is not the big annual cutback prune, but instead, this prune is aimed at keeping the plant tidy and pleasing to the eye. To this end I have begun to reshape plants that are normally pruned to shape. This includes my large Olive tree that I cloud pruned a few years ago. To keep this in shape you need to regularly prune it once every 2/3months.

Olive trees are ideal for cloud pruning as when they are pruned they keeps a nice tight growing shape that is ideal for amateur topiary. However, left to themselves they can become big large amorphous lumps that just sit in your garden like a dishevelled guest that has overstayed their welcome. I used to cloud prune with shears (as all purists should) but now I use an electric hedge trimmer and finish with shears.

The photo below shows my Olive tree after its pruning. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo before, so you will just have to use your imagination.

🌳 Reshaping my standards. In this case I am not alluding to my morals or principles, but to those plants that look like lollipops on a stick. I only have two standards that sit inside my swimming pool gates. When in full flower and kept well shaped these look lovely. But of course during the flowering season you have to slow down on the trimming as otherwise you would be cutting off the flowers. This means that by the end of Summer standards can become overgrown and untidy.

The first photo below shows my standards looking rather unkempt. However, after a quick trim they are reshaped and ready for future Spring growth. After trimming I give them a good feed of a general purpose fertiliser that peps them up after the shock of pruning. Another important benefit of trimming standards at this time of year is that you will not suffer wind damage in Autumn breezes which can easily blow the plant over and destroy your lovely pot. In addition the plant will not suffer from “root rock” which by the way is not a form of music found in the USA Deep South. But, instead a problem whereby the plant is continually rocked by the wind and cannot ensure continuous root contact with the soil which in turn can kill the plant.

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Which is what Dire Straits would have sung if they were gardeners instead of just rock stars. Well it is their loss because this time of the year; just as Summer tips towards Autumn is the time to get some more free plants. Now is not the time for cuttings, but it is time for self sowed seedlings, seeds and viable plantlets. Everywhere you look in your garden there is an abundance of free plants – what’s not to like; let’s get started.

3rd October: Things I have been doing lately.

🌺 Planting up Marguerite seedlings. Marguerites are one of Spain’s favourite plants and can be found in most gardens. However, I struggle to grow them from harvested seed, instead I let them self seed under the parent plant and then harvest them for planting up. Now is the time to do this. Just look under your Marguerites and you will see hundreds of small seedlings beginning to emerge. The photos below show Marguerites in beds alongside my drive, and then some of the seedlings peeping out from under their parent in my borders.

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Using a trowel ease a group of seedlings out of the soil then tease them apart using a pencil. Carefully transplant the seedlings into a pre-prepared seed tray. It is very important that you use the pencil to carefully tuck every bit of root into the soil. If you leave any bits out of the soil then there is a real danger the seedlings will not take. The first photo below shows my pre-prepared seed tray with my trusty dibber. The second photo shows seedlings being carefully tucked in with my pencil (I have had this pencil for 30 years) Cruella (my wife) mocks me for this but she has no soul – no I mean it I’m not joking she actually doesn’t have one.

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🕷 Harvesting Spider Plantlets. Lots of people think of Spider Plants (Chlorophytum comosum) as permanent denizens of badly lit bathroom window ledges where they often lurk sadly in the gloom. But in fact these versatile and colourful plants are ideal for brightening up shady areas of your garden. They can’t stand full Sun but they don’t mind lurking in half shade areas. In fact, in the shade their variegation becomes more brilliant as they cut through the gloom. Anyway, enough of me rhapsodising about Spider Plants, the important thing is that now is the time to harvest their plantlets. The photo below shows the Mother plant with its babies dangling on long stems which are used to position the new young plants in soil far enough away so that they do not compete with the main plant.

Prepare 3 inch pots with good free draining compost and then holding the stem in one hand carefully cut off the plantlet at the end of the stem, being sure not to cut into the nascent roots. Once you have removed the plantlet then just push it down into the pot about quarter of an inch and you have a new plant. The photo below shows me acting as midwife to the new babies.

🌺 Harvesting Pink Trumpet Vine seeds. Pink Trumpet is another popular Spanish Plant that can be found creeping up and over most Spanish walls and houses. This strong and vigorous plant will provide you with a constant show of flowers all Summer long followed by stunningly beautiful and unusual seed pods. The photo below shows one of my many Pink Trumpet Vines.

From the photo above you can see the plant both in flower and in seed. Normally I will cut the seed pods off at least once to ensure the plant keeps flowering. However, at this time of year you should harvest the seed pods when they are fully brown and dry. Once you have the pod off the plant, place it on a table and gently prise the sides of the pod open. Inside you will find hundreds of flat seeds which you can place in an envelope and plant out in seed trays next Spring to get yourself more plants for free. The first photo below shows some of the pods ready for picking. The second photo shows the seeds bursting from the pods waiting to go into my envelope.

📎 Splitting Albuca Spiralis (corkscrew plant). I don’t often buy plants, prefering to grow from seed or cuttings, but I saw this plant last Summer in a garden centre and I just loved its corkscrew leaves. You can see the plant in the photo below.

From the photo above you can see that the plant grows from a Corm like bulb which goes green in the growing season and then dies back to a dead brown. At the end of last season I cut back the top growth and then left it on my potting bench and just waited with only light watering. Then gradually I noticed green creeping back into the Corm, see photo below.

From the photo above you can see that the plant on the right has the potential to be separated into two plants. By taking the Corm out of the pot I was able to cut the plat in half and create a whole new plant for free. The first photo below shows the Corm after it was split in such a way as to leave enough root for each plant to be viable. The second photo shows the miracle of three plants from two.

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Finally a photo from the potting bench showing some of the new plants; and al for free. Get out there and get some free plants for yourself.

The misunderstanding started when I said to Cruella (my wife) that I was worried about my bald spot. She assured me that I shouldn’t worry as it happens to many men my age and that she still finds me attractive “in some ways”. Before I could explain that I was talking about the lawn she had whipped up a potion consisting of Cabbage leaves, frog spawn and what looked like coughed up phlegm. She proceeded to rub this into my head; anyway, to cut a long story short that’s how I ended up with a green head and having to wear a hat.

25th September: Things I have been doing lately.

👨‍🦲 Repairing a bald spot on the lawn. After the wear and tear of Summer (and two marauding Labradors) my lawn has developed a large bald area that is in need of repairing. If you have a lawn, then now is the time to repair it by re-sowing seed. The end of September and the first 2 weeks of October are the optimum time to undertake repairs to your lawn. The ground is still hot, but the scorching Sun of Summer is less fierce.

There are a number of stages to repairing a lawn:

Mow the grass very short in the effected area and then rake the area with a grass rake to pull up the grass thatch and expose the soil for the seed to contact.

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Mix up an appropriate soil and compost mixture to form the base for your seeds to root. Deposit the soil/compost over the area and evenly spread with your rake. Once the solid mix has been evenly distributed roll it then check for lumps or hollows that need smoothing out or filling. The first photo below shows the Mantillo mix that formed the main base of my mixture.

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Once your soil is prepared, sow your chosen grass seed. I use a Grama Kikyu mix which is a spreading grass that is very drought resistant (it is expensive but worth it). I have been hiding money from Cruella in my sock drawer to pay for it. From the photo below you can see that this seed is contained in a small pellet mixture that both feeds the seed and (hopefully) repels birds.

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Once you have sown your seed use your rake to gradually tease the soil so that it partially covers your seed. This will ensure that the seeds have some contact with the soil. You then need to roll the whole area again to firm the seeds down and ensure soil contact. The photos below showing me raking and rolling, which is the gardeners equivalent of rock and roll. Cruella took these pictures but before she did so she questioned whether I was going to put a shirt on (I didn’t, it’s a small act of rebellion, but it’s what keeps me going). I also kept my hat on as my head is still green.

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Finally, cover with a permeable membrane. This will keep the birds off and also ensure a nice humid growing temperature for the seeds. However, all this effort will be wasted unless you water at least three times a day. If the grass seed drys out it will just die very quickly.

🥀 Dead head Roses. Don’t forget to keep deadheading your Roses. If you do this assiduously over the next month or so you will get flowers right through to November. The photos below show some of my Roses which are now coming into their second annual bloom.

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Our recent drought in Spain is about to end spectacularly and Cruella (my wife) is claiming the credit. She said she could no longer stand my being depressed about the lack of rain and to cheer me up she has summoned a storm. She spent most of last night on the roof holding on to the TV aerial dancing around, waving her arms about and chanting incantations. I had to go up and get her down as the police came around and said they had reports of an old lady pole dancing on my roof-they wanted to know if I had a license for dancing.

11th September: Things I have been doing lately.

🌨 Water Management: As the storm arrives you need to capture as much water as possible – get water butts, put out buckets, use old dustbins; anything so long as you capture the precious water. Even the smallest garden needs water so there is no excuse, especially in Spain where we have prolonged droughts. You will need this water throughout the year and it’s free so you cut down your water bill. The first photo below shows my compost bin lids raised ready to capture water to soak the compost. The second photo shows my large water tank surrounded by large dustbins into which I siphon water off. The last photo shows one of my extra large Ali Baba water butts.

🥀 Feed your Roses. Now is the time to give your Roses their last feed of the Summer. From my perspective it has not been “a good year for the Roses” no matter what Elvia Costello says. The drought has left them desiccated and therefore open to everything from Aphids to Rust. But never mind there is always next year. By feeding them now you will set them up to be ready for Winter pruning and next years growth. There are lots of Rose feeds so take your choice, but don’t buy cheap ones as they won’t really work. The photo below show the one I am using at the moment.

🥅 Take nets off Figs. Assuming you have netted your Figs then they are probably now at an end and you have enjoyed a Summer of delicious Figs. If not then just pick off all the half pecked Figs that the birds have destroyed (I told you what would happen and you only have yourself to blame). Anyway, cut the nets off now, don’t try and save them for next year, it is not worth it as they will have holes in them somewhere.

If you have an espalier Fig as I have then begin the process of tying in this year’s growth. You will complete the tying in later when you prune. The first photo below shows my espalier Fig with its netting. The second photo shows a branch with a tie.

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🌱 Cut off citrus suckers. By now all your citrus trees should have their new fruit growing strongly. To ensure that all the goodness goes into the fruit and not into unproductive new growth, you have to cut off stem and trunk suckers. Suckers will be especially prevalent in old trees and can be seen as upward growing very bright green soft shoots. Just take them off by gently pulling down on them. The photo below shows one of my trees with the suckers marked and ready to be pulled off.

🌾 Cut off Yucca flower spikes. It has been a good year for Yucca flower spikes, so I hope you have enjoyed them. As the spikes die back cut them off so that the the plant does not go on to produce seed. This will be an ongoing task for the next few weeks as the spikes will come at different times. You can just leave them till they have all flowered, but this looks untidy and distracts from the lovely fresh quality of the new white flower spikes. The photos below show some of my Yuccas at various stages of flowering.

Yes I know it’s a gardening blog and the above heading does seem to suggest construction activity mixed with witchcraft and farming. But I can assure you it is about gardening, but just not as you know it. The problems started when Cruella (my wife) and I visited our English house to see our idiot son. Whilst in England, besides meeting the idiot boy, I tend to get stuck into our English garden whilst Cruella spends most of her time reading tea leaves.

Now as I’ve explained before our English garden consists of two parts a small open garden at the front that has Yuccas, a small walled bed and a large Cotoneaster. The back garden is long, narrow, walled and has a variety of climbing flowering shrubs growing up the walls. My work in this garden mainly involves extensive cutting back between visits. This in turn usually involves me in various feats of what I call “laddery” which is defined in the dictionary as “the effective use of ladders and/or steps to effect a task” – I made that up.

31st August: Things I have been doing lately.

🎢 Falling off a ladder in the front garden. The front garden in England needs to be tidied up twice a year. The big cutback is in January when I reduce the height of everything by using a hedge trimmer to reshape it all. But this time of year it is necessary to make some cosmetic cutting just to keep things in shape. In England you should never cutback hedges or trees till late August or September as this ensures all the bird chicks have left their nest. The photos below shows the front garden before it’s cosmetic clip.

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Now from the photos above you can see that the big Cotoneaster has begun to obscure the window of the lounge hence the need to trim and the use of ladders. Now ladders and I have a long history of parting company and usually when I am right on the top rung holding a chainsaw or hedge trimmer. And yes dear reader it happened again. I was leaning over right at the top of the Cotoneaster when I over reached and slid down the wall between the tree and the house. Having thrown the hedge trimmer sideways I gracefully and somewhat painfully made my way to the ground. I did intend to show you a photo of the newly trimmed front garden, but instead I have called in a Tree Surgeon who for a very reasonable sum will trim the Cotoneaster etc back to 3 foot and hopefully it will come back, but we shall see.

🎢 Falling off a ladder in the back garden. Having recovered from my front garden mishap I was determined to go on and tackle the back garden. Yes, this does need a bit of ladder work, but it is not so high and therefore less painful when you fall. The back garden is a typical English walled garden, if you keep it trimmed it looks lovely; if you don’t it looks like a scene from “Day of the Triffids”. The key to a late Summer trim is just to tidy and not to try and cut right back. In this way you allow for second flowering and retain things like interesting seed heads and Rose hips, all of which provide excellent Winter food for birds (that’s the second mention of birds my friends Hilary and Jeff will be pleased). The photos below show the back garden midst trim back.

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My next ladder incident occurred when I overreached across the wall just behind the brown bin in the second photo. Some long Rose branches were just out of reach and yes you’ve guessed I fell off the ladder on to the top of the wall and into the Rose. Not as spectacular as my front garden fall but just as dangerous. When Cruella (my wife came back from shopping with the idiot Son she berated me for my carelessness. Mainly she was concerned about where she would put me if I had died as we don’t have a compost bin in England. Anyway, the photo below shows the back garden neatly trimmed; but not shorn.

🗿 Garden statuary. I have long been a fan of discreet statues placed carefully around a garden in such a way that a casual visitor would come upon them and be delighted. Well, in cutting back the back garden and reshaping some ground coverage I opened up the vista to one of my favourite statues. This is the head of a female dressed either in classical or medieval garb I’ll let you decide. The photo below shows her in situ.

Unfortunately, having told you about my statue, Cruella has demanded that I share with everyone her choice of statue. The photo below is what I call “the evil Lamb”. Cruella says this used to belong to her Mother and is therefore an heirloom worthy of a prime position in our garden. Now I don’t know about you but this scares me. If you look at the eyes they are particularly evil looking and what’s more they follow you everywhere. I have woken up at night and it is in my bedroom just staring at me. And the times when I fell off the ladder I am sure I felt the ladder leg being pushed and heard a Lamb like laugh.

When I told Cruella (my wife) that I was Iron Man her only comment was that I was old, stupid, already had a bad knee and perhaps I should change my name to Rusty Man. Nevertheless she proposed adding Wheatbran to my daily porridge in the hope of increasing my stamina. I must admit she was a little disappointed when I pointed out that I was the gardeners equivalent of Iron Man which involved nothing more strenuous than adding Iron supplement to sickly plants.

21st August: Things I have been doing lately.

🏋️‍♀️ Adding Iron to supplement plants. In the current drought you might have noticed that some of your plants are taking on a “yellowy” hue. Now yellowy hues in plants are difficult to diagnosis. Sometimes it means you are over watering, sometimes it means you are under watering or it could just be a Daffodil. But sometimes it means you plant has a condition called “chlorosis”. The effect of chlorosis is that the leaves on your plant will start to turn yellowish and the veins in the leaves will begin to become pronounced. This means that the plant is not photosynthesising well because it lacks iron. The photos below show one of my Agaves which is in a pot and is turning yellow and also a bamboo that is similarly afflicted.

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The answer to this problem is an iron supplement watered in or scattered around the base of the plant, this helps the plant to photosynthesis more efficiently. These supplements can be bought at most good garden centres. The photo below shows the supplement that I use. I mix this with water to eventually form a mixture that is the same colour as Rosé wine. This is then poured into a watering can and the base of the plant soaked. You probably only need to do this once each Summer.

🌴 Cutting Palm fronds. Regular readers of this blog will know that I constantly advise to cut Palms regularly and often. Once Palm fronds are hanging below an angle of 90 degrees in parallel with the ground then they start to toughen up and eventually take on the consistency of iron (iron again, I want to be known as Iron Man). This makes it extremely difficult to cut them and can end up blunting even the sharpest of saws.

Well that’s the theory. Unfortunately, just this once I forgot about my twin Palm trees and only remembered to look up and check the tree when it was too late. From the photo below you can see that a number of the fronds has already turned brown and were like iron. This necessitated my getting a ladder out and proceeding to hack at the fronds; something that should have taken minutes ended up taking almost an hour. The worst part was that Cruella (my wife) offered to hold the bottom of the ladder whilst I was at the top. She does this sort of thing on a regular basis, but only after checking my life insurance policy. To distract her I told her I had seen some children in our wild wood and she ran off cackling hoping to catch one (she has a special net).

🍂 Adding leaves to my compost. I can only assume that everyone followed my advice last Autumn and raked all the dead leaves up and placed them in bags for later. The reason for this is that leaves cannot be added to compost at first, but must go through their own composting process before eventually being added to your compost heap. Well, now is the time. I have 5 green sacks full of leaves that have been happily composting away in the shade beside my compost bins. I will now add these to my compost bins in layers over the next couple of months. Although the leaves are not fully composted down the rest of the process will take place in the bin.

The photo below shows the first sack of leaves tipped into the bin and ready for the big compost. When Cruella (my wife) saw this she thought I had summoned a leaf man from the nether world.

As the old song says “you are sure of a big surprise”! No not the Teddy Bear’s Picnic. I’ve cut back the giant Agave Americana. This Agave is a vicious brute with long fronds over 8ft and each frond carries rows of sharp serrated teeth along its edges. Apart from that it is a lovely plant – but only to view from a distance. Anyway, I have 4 of these brutes at the top of the stairs leading down to my Wild Wood and I’ve been tackling them.

10th August: Things I have been doing lately.

🔪 Cutting back Agave Americana. As mentioned above this vicious but lovely statuesque plant needs to be cut back every 2/3 years otherwise its fronds droop and are in danger of ensnaring passers by. In case you forget what they look like the photo below shows my plants prior to the big cutback.

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Cutting back these plants needs to be organised carefully. You need the correct tools and the correct clothing. You can saw through the fronds with a handsaw, but it is much quicker with a chainsaw. You will also need a hedge trimmer to cutback the foliage of other plants that will impede your access to the Agave. Finally you need to cover up every visible part of your body. I wore a track suit tucked into my socks, my long sleeve, padded winter gardening shirt a hat and eye protectors. Yes, I did look ridiculous especially as the temperature was 37 degrees.

The first photo shows my lovely trimmed Agaves, the second shows the assembled tools and finally the spoils of war. I will leave the fronds to dry out for a few days before moving them as they are very heavy.

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🌱 Feeding the lawn. Now if you have grass you really need to feed it three times during the Summer: once in Spring, again in high Summer and later at the beginning of Autumn. I use a high nitrogen feed and utilise a spreader which stops me overdosing the lawn. From the photograph below you can see that this particular lawn is somewhat patchy, but I have all my preparations ready for a partial reseed on the worse areas in the Autumn. More later.

🌞 Drying out Figs. Those of you with Fig trees should by now be in the middle of full harvest. The best thing to do here is to pick the ripening Figs each morning, eat what you can (which in our case is lots) then dry the rest in the Sun (this does not apply to the U.K.).

First take your Figs, half them in two, place them on a mesh grill and then place them out in the Sun under a suitable protective cover. I recommend that you take them in at night as a heavy dew could spoil them or ants could find them. The photos below show my world famous Fig drying process. Overall it should take 3/4 days and they can then be stored in the fridge or freezer.

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What a cornucopia of gardening delights are summed up in this heading. Now we are at the height of Summer I am sure you are running around like headless chickens not knowing which job to tackle next. There are flowers to be deadheaded, weeds to be hoed, grass to be cut and the nightly watering ritual that has turned me into a Spanish version of Kipling’s “Gunga Din” – gardening and empire, I am spoiling you.

29th July. Things I have been doing lately:

🛏 Re-making a bed. A flower bed obviously before you ask. I have a number of island beds within my garden which every couple of years need a make over. The photo below shows the flower bed before its make over.

From the photo you can see the flower bed has been left with a profusion of Magreit Daisies that I have deliberately allowed to self seed into the surrounding shingle. The flowers surround a mature Sago Palm and in their first couple of years it looks interesting and very naturalistic. But, as I have left this for at least three years, with just a cut back every year, the Magreits have become woody and will not take another cut back, so it is time to clear up. Also, the Sago Palm is in need of a trim to keep its architectural structure.

The first thing to do is pull up the Magreits sometimes they can be quite tough to get up, but the reward is that underneath will be a number of seedlings which I will replant in this bed in September/October. The first photo below shows the poor old Magreits lying like plague corpses waiting to go in the charnel pit; but wait! there is new life as the second photo shows some seedlings (many more will come out now they can see the light).

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Once the Magreits have been cleared it was time to turn my attention to the Sago Palm. These Palms are relatively slow growing and very expensive so you don’t want to mess up the pruning and have it die. The rule here is you can cut back, but you must leave at least two rows of fronds at the top of the trunk. This is your insurance policy, it is possible to lose one row, but to paraphrase the words of Lady Bracknell, “to lose one row may be regarded as a misfortune, to lose both looks like carelessness”. Just snip round with lopers until you have just two rows left and then stop don’t be tempted to go any further. The first photo below shows the underneath of the unpruned Palm, whilst the second shows just how many fronds can come off.

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Finally, and this is the bonus. You remember that I told you a few paragraphs ago how expensive Sago Palms are, well this is your surprise. If you are lucky your Sago Palm will have produced some “pups” at the base of their trunk. These are mini Sago Palms that can be harvested and grown as completely new Palms thereby saving you a fortune. I will show you how to do this in a couple of months. In the meantime here is a photo of the pups to get you excited, and finally a photo of the completed bed.

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🦇 Beginning to harvest Figs. Yes, it really is Figageddon. Now I like Figs; no I actually love Figs, and if you have netted your trees you should be at the start of harvest. If on the other hand you have not netted your tree as I told you the other month, then all the fat over-Figged birds of the Costa Blanca thank you for the feast.

Figageddon, is not a term of exaggeration as I explained to Cruella (my wife) as I ran into her bedroom at 5am the other morning screaming “Figageddon is upon us”. To say she was underwhelmed would be an exaggeration; she didn’t even come down from the beam where she was hanging and I had to conduct the whole conversation with her hanging upside down and still with her wings wrapped around her. Anyway, I explained to Cruella that Figageddon is a technical term (which I have invented) for a “glut” of Figs that will overwhelm you unless you harvest every day. You need to check your Fig trees every morning. At first you will get 3 or 4 ripe Figs, then 6 or 7 , but it will gradually build up to “FIGAGEDDON’ where dozens will ripen each day. At this point no matter how many you eat, you will still have to give some away to friends, make Fig Jam or dry them like I do. I’ll tell you more about drying later. Meanwhile here is a photo of the start of Figageddon – you have been warned.

I know “deadhead and cutback”sounds like the employers of Bob Cratchit before he worked for Scrooge, but really it’s just the way to get two gardens in one Summer. If like most people you let your garden flower once and then just leave it alone, then you are missing out on a whole new flowering which is just like having two gardens. Now is the time to deadhead everything and cutback perennials and off it will all go again.

19th July. Things I have been doing lately:

🌿 Cutting back Lavender. Most people think that once Lavender has flowered then that is it. But no, if you cut it back you will get another full flush of flowering, and just as importantly you will get lovely flower heads which you can dry and place in your wardrobe to smell lovely all Winter. Or as Cruella (my wife) does to use in the spell of your choice.

The first two photos below show the Lavender near my water feature which have flowered and will stay like this if not cutback. When cutting back Lavender try not to go into new wood, just go to the bottom of the flowering stem and cut there. The third photo shows where to cut. Finally, and best of all store the cut flower stems in a plastic bag for a few days and let them dry in the Sun. once they are fully dry place them in small muslin bags and hang them in your wardrobe. If you haven’t got muslin bags then cut up an old pair of tights (but don’t tell Cruella, I have convinced her we have moths).

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🌺 Cutting back the seed pods of Pink Trumpet Vine. Lots of us have Pink Trumpet Vine in our gardens here in Campoverde. It likes the soil and it loves the climate. Although Pink Trumpet flowers profusely it will try and set its seed pods early if you let it. Once it begins to set seed then it will divert all its energy into this rather than continuing to flower. The photo below shows the distinctive and lovely seed pods hanging from one of my Pink Trumpet Vine. You need to cut these off now and the plant will continue to flower all Summer. I tend to leave the seed pods from late October as they make a nice Autumn feature. But now you must cut them back.

✂️ Cutting back Bird of Paradise. To be honest you shouldn’t really cut back Strelitzia in the Summer, but I just like to tidy it up a bit. The first photo below shows my Bird of Paradise looking a bit scruffy. When I prune it in the Winter I cut back the flowering stems to a joint. But when I am tidying up I take the cut right to the bottom and take the full stem out. The first photo shows the plant before it’s tidy up, whilst the second shows it post the cut back. Can you see the difference? No me neither, I am obviously wasting my time here.

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🌳 Cutting back potted Standards. If like me you have standards in pots whether it be Roses, Lantana or any of the other plants that are shown as Standards in Spain, then you now need to shape them up a bit. During June to August your standards will put on lots of leaf and flower, which would be fine if they were in the ground, but in pots they cannot get their roots down deep enough and therefore are constantly crying out for water. If you don’t want to end up with the arm length of a Gorilla from going backward and and forwards with heavy watering cans, then now is the time to reshape them.

I have two Standards which sit in large pots inside the gates of my swimming pool. In Winter I reshape them to tight “lollipops”, but in the Summer I let them expand and flower. By reshaping them now, they will continue to flower right into October and beyond.

The first photo below shows one of my poor Standards crying out for water. The second shows it reshaped with just about a third taken off. Finally you can see both reshaped standards sitting proudly outside the gates, within a week they will be back in full flower.

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🧛‍♀️ Cruella is in her counting house. We regularly raise money for “good causes” in our village and we entrust Cruella with counting all the loose change and then banking it. When I confronted her the other day about where she finds the money for her huge range of bikinis and matching nail varnish; all I got was the gleeful look you can see in the photo below.