Category: September

I’m back, I know I didn’t tell you I was away mainly because I now work on a need to know basis, as every time I go away Cruella (my wife) and her fancy chickens devastate the garden. Well enough is enough I broke down In tears when I saw the neglect and wilful damage they had inflicted on the garden. The photos below speak for themselves. Click on each photo for a larger view.

To make matters worse whilst I was berating Cruella for the damage she and her fancy chickens had caused, she just sat there stroking the little white one and whispering chickenese into its ear like some Bond villain. Just then I caught a slight movement under a fig tree as the chickens operating in unison had stalked a little bird and made it fly into the fig net. The photos below show the hunting party setting off, followed by their lookout who is set to keep a eye on me. The next photo shows “big Bertha” stalking like a lioness under the fig tree. The final photos show the poor little bird that I managed to rescue and free. Click on each photo for a larger view.

This is in danger of becoming a chicken blog, so let’s get on with the gardening.

24th September 2022. Things I have been doing lately:

Gathering seeds. Now we are moving towards autumn it is time to look around your garden for seed heads to provide you with next year’s plants. In my garden at this time of year, there are usually seedheads to be gathered from:

• Marigolds
• Sun flowers
• Trumpet vine
• Loofahs
• Jasminium

And so much more as we move into autumn. Even if you have never grown from seed , why not try it, it can prove very addictive. The photos below show an array of seed heads picked and ready to be processed. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Most seed are very easy to process. The photos below show how to harvest Marigold seeds. First only pick the seed heads when they are fully dry and completely brown with no sign of green. Then rub off the top part of the seed head which is made up of a rough nape. Following this roll the seed head between your thumb and forefinger pressing gently to crush the seed head and release the seeds. When you have all the seeds let them fall between your palms as you blow gently to separate the seed from the chaff. Finally store the seeds in an envelope till you need them next year. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Processing Loofahs. I gave lots of loofah seeds out during my open garden day so I am sure you will all now be ready to reap your harvest. The secret with loofahs is that you must leave them till they are completely dry, brown and wrinkled (yes, I know, just like me). The secret to knowing if they are ready for harvesting is to shake the pods, and if you can hear the seeds rattling free inside, then they are ready.

To harvest loofahs you just follow these simple steps:

1. Use your secateurs to clip the pods off leaving about 2cm of stem.
2. Then holding the pod upright just use your thumb to flip open the top of the pod by pressing on the side of the stem. This will easily come away leaving a hole the size of 2€ coin.
3. All you need to do then is to pour the seeds out into your hand.
4. Next grasp the now empty pod between your hands and gently crush it to loosen the skin covering the pod.
5. Peel off the pod skin
6. And there you have it a lovely loofah to keep your skin supple and beautiful.

I would let you have some, but Cruella takes my whole crop and sells them to her coven as nose wart removers. The whole process is shown below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Tying up Cannas. At this time of the year large cannas can begin to look a bit untidy. But don’t chop them down! You need all the goodness from the stems to start flowing back into the corm (ugly bulb) which will form next years plant . So for now you need to tie your cannas into an upright position for a couple of months till they get really scraggy, brown and raggedy, (yes, I know we have already had that joke).

I use broomsticks for this as they are strong enough to bang into the ground and tie the canna up even in strong winds. This year I bought myself some new broomsticks and Cruella thought I had bought her a present. I didn’t have the heart to tell her so I fitted her broom on a new stick. The photos below show the process. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Clearing borders and applying mulch. By now a lot of the plants in your borders will be well past their best. Once you have collected any seed that you want, then it is time to clear your borders and get them ready for cutings, seedlings and bulbs. Because not all plants die off conveniently at the same time, it is better to do this in stages. Don’t be tempted to just clear everything because a few plants are looking untidy. There are two main benefits of leaving plants a bit longer. Firstly, as already mentioned it allows seed heads to mature. But secondly, and just as important it allows the birds and insects to feed on the decaying plants. Sometimes it pays to be an untidy gardener for a few weeks.

The photos below show the start of my border clearing process and the application of a thick rich mulch to renews the soil. My friend Hilary has just started composting and is excited to get going and it may sound slightly pathetic but nothing beats the sight and smell of your first home made compost. Cruella just shouted out “shut up you idiot”, but she has her chickens all I have is my compost. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Well I’m back from visiting my English garden and I have to be honest with you, I was apprehensive about coming back. As you know I left Cruella (my wife) in charge and this normally has disastrous consequences; but to be fair it wasn’t all bad. Anyway more of Cruella later, lets get on with the jobs we need to be doing now.

28th September 2021. Things I have been doing lately:

Cutting the grass. Before I went to England I gave the grass its final feed of the year. Normally I feed the grass 4 times a year with the last feed in late September early October. If you feed the grass after September it normally won’t get time to take the feed up before it stops growing. However, this has not been a normal year and we had quite a bit of rain whilst I was away, which in turn made the newly fed grass grow like crazy.

This was made worse by the horror of finding that my large petrol strimmer which trims the lawn edges had broken down and I would have to use a smaller electric one which I keep as a standby. The photos below show the extent of the grass growth. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Eventually after a hard days mowing I had everything back as it should be. Remember to keep your mower on its highest setting at this time of the year so that the lawn can go into the Winter with some protective cover to prevent wear. Ideallly the grass should be left between 5-10 cms depending on your preference and likely wear. The photos show the lawn mid mow and my final view from sitting under the Mulberry tree. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The last of the Loofahs. As a title of a film I give you that this lacks the drama of “the last of the Mohicans”, but it has merit. Most of the loofahs are now harvested and I have started emptying the pots. It has been a fantastic year with a very good crop of beauty products. I have lots of seeds so if you would like some just contact me and pop round if you live near Campoverde. If not contact me and I will give you my address and you can then send me a stamped self addressed envelope and I will send you some seeds with instructions how to grow them. The photo below shows the last of the Loofahs.

Whilst we are dealing with seeds, Autumn is the best time to be perusing seed catalogues on line and deciding what you will be planting next year. I picked up a few packets whilst I was in England that I will be using for my full Sun borders. See photo below.

Mulching your trees. If you have fruit trees it is always a good idea at this time of year to give them a lovely deep mulch with compost from your compost bin. If you don’t have a compost bin, then firstly, shame on you. But secondly don’t worry as you can always buy bags of compost and use these. The idea is that mulching will improve your soil, by encouraging worms and other beneficial insects, whilst at the same time improving moisture retention in your soil.

Now mulching isn’t a case of just bunging some compost down and hoping for the best. You have to go about it systematically to realise the best results.

1. Inspect your trees and remove any suckers that are growing from the branches, especially any that may be growing from the bottom. Suckers are easily recognisable as they are bright green and grow straight up. To remove them just hold the sucker and pull it straight down and it will come away easily. See photo below.

2. Hoe around your trees to remove any weeds and break up the soil. This is an important stage as impacted soil will stop water penetration and you need the soil and the compost mulch to mix.

3. Thoroughly water your trees and then give them a good feed with a specialist feed and not just a general purpose feed. The photos below show stages 2 and 3. Click on each photo for a larger view.

4. Now the hard work starts emptying the compost bin and mulching round your trees. This is back breaking but worth it. I give each tree a wheelbarrow of mulch spread to a depth of about 3 inches around the trunk. Make sure that you leave space around the trunk so that there is no chance of rot getting at the trunk. Also make sure you expose the tree graft so that you do not encourage growth from below the graft. The first photo below show my compost bin ready for emptying. The next shows a barrowful of black gold as I dramatically call compost. The final photo shows me carefully removing the mulch away from the tree graft on a small tree. Click on each photo for a larger view.

5. Finally the best stage. Resting and having a pot of tea safe in the knowledge that you will not have to mulch your trees till next year.

Cruella did well. This is not a phrase you will hear from me very often in relation to Cruella and the garden. But in two recent cases she has been good. Firstly, amongst her other duties I left her with, was the care of a pot of Chilli Peppers I had been bringing on. When I left the chillis were green but would soon ripen. I feared for them, but when I got back they were ripening lovely and Cruella had been harvesting them every day. Given all her many other gardening disasters I asked why this time was different. For a moment she looked coy and then said “they remind me of drops of blood”. The photo below shows Cruella and her Chillis.

Cruella’s second triumph was in helping me tie up a Diplodemia which was growing furiously up a cane in its pot. I wanted to keep this in a pot but grow it along some string. Not many people know this, but Cruella is very good at tying all sorts of knots. I asked her a long time ago where she got this talent, but she just shrugged her shoulders and said “you know, we’re taught it early on, nobody wants a wriggling sacrifice”. I didn’t ask any more. The photo below shows Cruella midst knot tying, followed by the successfully tied plant. Click on each photo for a larger view.

When I asked Cruella to tie the plant up I informed her that she would be using my best string. She feigned incredulity and mocked the fact that I have “best string”. I carefully explained to her that best string is used for tying things up where I need the string to last for a few years. My basic string is used only when I want the string to rot away within a few months. She only laughed at me and said did I ever wonder why people find me boring. Because of this I didn’t like to mention that I am thinking of introducing an intermediate string category. The photo below shows my current two categories of string.

You will remember from my previous post that I was leaving our Spanish garden in the supposed care of Cruella (my wife), and heading to off to see what was happening in our English garden. The aim of my visit was, in order of importance:

1. Rescue and reshape our English garden
2. Visit some gardens of note that I haven’t seen for a while
3. Make sure our idiot son was ok

Remember that old saying “it is better to travel in hope than to arrive” well its true.

15th September 2021. Things I have been doing lately:

Cutting back our jungle. Regular readers of this blog will know that our English garden is a long narrow rectangular walled garden adjacent to the river Medway. It is designed as an easy maintenance garden as most of the time we are in Spain. It has Flag paving on the ground and the walls are adorned with a series of climbers which flow up and over the wall. I had told Cruella exactly what to do when she was last over, but she completely ignored my advice and neglected the garden apart for the fact that she touched two precious plants and killed them. The photos below show the extent of her crimes. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The worse thing was that she has place garden statuary around the garden and animated them as an alarm against intruders. There was a malign looking lamb, an evil duck with ducklings and a decapitated head. When I first went into the garden they all started screaming at once. The ducks quacked evil high pitched quacks, the lamb bleated like an old rusty door being slowly opened and the decapitated head screamed out intruder, intruder, but in Latin “intrusor”. The photos below show the evil trio. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The photos below show the garden finally cut back and generally tidied up. I fear the Box is a goner, but I will wait and see. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Sissinghurst Castle. I have always wanted to visit Sissinghurst Castle the home of Vita Sackville West the famous writer and more importantly gardener. Vita was not an innovator but she did some things very well including planting borders in a single colour. I took our idiot son with me to try and educate him and to give the banking profession a rest from chaos. I asked him if he would take a photo of me in the famous “white garden” which he did by making me look as if I am wearing a Tutu.

Another feature that I liked at Sissinghurst was the dry garden. This consisted of large rocks, gravel and pebbles with intermittent Mediterranean planting. This would work very well in Spain and I might even think of working this into my large lawn. The photos below give you some idea what it is like. Click on each photo for a larger view.

RHS Wisley. As a member of the RHS I try and make a visit at least once a year to see what is going on and if I can pick up any tips and get my moneys worth out of my membership. Unfortunately the gardens didn’t look at their best – possibly because it is late in the year. In addition the RHS has gone mad on wild flower meadows and wild planting which seemed to be everywhere. The photos below show some of the things that interested me including another dry garden that would work in Spain. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The Rangers House Greenwich. If you have ever visited Greenwich park, then the chances are that you have concentrated on the view across London and the Royal Observatory. But you will probably have missed the Rangers House which sits right at the back of the park. The house used to have a beautiful Rose garden, which again, and unfortunately now has intermittent planting of wild flowers and roses. I don’t want to seem curmudgeonly but formal rose planting and wildflower meadows do not sit well together. Judge for yourself from the photos below I am off to write a letter of complaint to the Times. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Visit to Steve’s garden. My friend Steve lives in West London and gardens on a typical London plot. Clay just about six inches below the surface that has been improved by years of spreading compost. Where possible I always include a visit to Steve’s garden because he is one of those gardeners who could stick a dry twig in the ground and it would sprout almost immediately. There is not much we Spanish gardeners can learn from this garden as everything he grows would shrivel and die in the Spanish sun.

Anyway, just to make you hanker after floriferous displays here are some photos of Steve’s garden. Ending with a photo of Steve and me. After seeing this photograph he rang me the next day and has sworn that he is now on a diet; I will make sure he keeps it up. Click on each photo for a larger view.

By the time you read this you read this I will be tending my English garden. I know I should have told you before I left but I was too ashamed of the fact that I have left Cruella (my wife) in charge of the Spanish garden. I have left her copious written instructions but I know she will just ignore them. When I took her round the other night (she only comes out at night) and explained everything I could tell she was just feigning interest. Each time I explained something to her she just said “yeah, yeah, whatever”, when I remonstrated with her over her lack of interest she just said “blah de blah”.

Anyway, here is what I was up to before I left.

7th September 2021. Things I have been doing lately.

Trimming back Lemon trees. By now most of your lemons should be off the tree and any that are left will not be much good. Now is the time to tidy your trees up before the new crop begins to set. Your starting point should always be to cut out any diseased, crossing or upright growth. Having done this make sure you create a hole in the centre of the canopy to let light get into the centre of the tree. Finish off by lightly trimming around the outside of the tree to bring it back into shape.

I only have one old Lemon tree and over the years I have been shaping it around the dining area of our outside kitchen. To create what I grandly term “a dining arbour”. The photo below shows the tree before the start of the big trim. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The next two photos show the outcome of my labour. Where possible I shred the leaves and branches and add them to the compost bin. But the lemons would make the heap too acid so they are thrown into the wild wood. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Removing fig nets and tying in espalier. By now all your figs should be over and it is time to remove your nets; this assumes that you sensibly netted them. If you didn’t net then you probably have fat grateful birds in your garden!. Don’t try and remove fig nets to save them for next year, it is just not worth the trouble, you will only damage the tree and it is not as if nets are prohibitively expensive.

Using scissors just move around the tree and cut all the net off with as little damage to the tree as possible. Whilst I do not recycle the nets, I always save the CDs that I hang on the trees to scare the birds. I worry that no one uses CDs anymore and that the birds won’t be scared by my hanging a copy of my Spotify subscription. The photos below show my net cutting activity together with my CD retrieval. Click on each photo for a larger view.

In addition to my normal fig tree I also have an espalier tree that I have been growing against the wall of our outside kitchen for some 5/6 years. This is netted in a similar way to the big fig tree. But the difference is that once the net is removed it is time to tie in the branches to ensure that they follow the espalier wires. The photos below show the espalier netted, then de-netted (a term I have just invented) and finally you can see a branch being tied in to maintain the espalier. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The final episode in my de-netting odyssey is to transfer a portion of my removed net to my Persimmon tree. The Persimmons are gradually beginning to ripen. But they do this very slowly which means you can sometimes forget them. However, the birds never forget, they know exactly when the time is right to strike by the colouring of the fruit, so it is best to get your net in place now to save tragedy later. The first photo below shows the first signs of ripening, whilst the second shows my trusty recycled net in place together with a selection of Mantovani’s greatest hits on CD.

Tidying borders. My last act before leaving for our English garden was to clear out the long borders along our drive. Because they are in fierce sun all day I only plant things here that can stand this ferocity. My succesion planting keeps this area in flower from early March till the end of August. The planting normally includes:

• Various bulbs
• Carnation and Dianthus
• Flag Iris
• Marigolds
• Osteospermums

When it comes to clearing out borders I have been taking out individual plants by hand as they are spent. But now it is time to get industrial, just use your hedge trimmers to take off the sides and tops of the Osteospermum. This allows you to get a good look inside to see which plants are too woody, and which it is worth trimming back and letting go through the winter. In a future post I will cover the self sown seedlings that will be coming through soon in this area.

The photos below show my hedge trimmer strategy in action, finishing with my overloaded compost bin. The final photo shows my nice cleared beds and clean drive ready for the winter. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Cutting patterns on the lawn. This time of year I like to let the lawn grow quite long to encourage seed setting and to help the birds and bees. My lawn becomes alive with bees and lots of little birds happily pecking away. I wander among them like a latter day St Francis. However, Cruella calls this the time of the great harvest and sets traps and makes bird and bee gruel for her breakfast.

I always cut a pattern just for fun. The photo below shows this years homage to the Yellow Brick Road.

I know the above heading may seem slightly incongruous and doesn’t match the requirements of a gardening blog, but let me explain. Cruella (my wife) has for years despaired of getting me to come in from the garden at meal times. Over the years she has tried many options including: shouting loudly, ringing a bell, banging a dinner gong and even blowing a vuvuzela (at the time of the South African World Cup).

But now she has gone too far. She has taken up archery and now regularly fires arrows at me before every meal. I have become accustomed to the swish of air as another close miss whistles past my ear, or the thwock sound made by an arrow slamming into a tree I am standing beside. She has even perfected the technique used by Legolas in the Lord of the Rings, whereby she can fire arrows rapidly. Sometimes I will be cutting the lawn and suddenly I am surrounded by a ring of arrows rapidly thudding into the lawn.

Anyway she has gone too far and I am thinking of reporting her for attempted murder. The other day I was sitting at the spot where I rest between the far end of the garden and the shed. I use this spot to stop and think about what I am supposed to be getting from the shed; it saves time as if I go straight to the shed I will forget and have to go back to the beginning again. To cut a long story short, as I sat there innocently contemplating my mission to the shed, suddenly thwack an arrow went straight through my oldest (and best) gardening hat. When I complained to Cruella that this was attempted murder and she had gone too far. She merely smiled and said she was practising. The photo below shows me moments after the attempt on my life, (note the damage to my hat).

17th September. Things I have been doing lately:

🧎‍♂️ Gathering seeds. September is the time when you should be scurrying around checking all your plants for seedheads. Most plants will have set seed and there is a wide variety if you just look.

🌸 Margeurites provide the best and easiest way to get new plants. Instead of gathering their seed, just rub the seedheads between your finger and thumb and let them drop to the soil and just water them where they fall. Within a few weeks you will have lots of little seedlings popping up. Once they have at least four leaves then you can prick them out by easing them from the soil with a trowel. and repot them into trays. You can then plant these out in your borders in mid January and they will flower from May all the way through till December.

The first photo below shows my seed spreading technique. The second shows the lovely little seedlings, the third shows them being eased out of the soil and the final photo shows the 96 new plants I now have. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🌼 Grey Santolina. These are lovely drought tolerant plants that grow well in Spain and their small yellow flowers stand out against their grey foliage. To get seeds from these plants you simply cut off a number of former flowering stems. Take them to a table where you can sit and gently roll the seed heads between your finger and thumb, letting the seeds fall into an envelope for safe keeping . These can then be sown in trays in mid January. The first photo below shows the Santolina being harvested for seed. The second photo shows me sitting peacefully on a hot day harvesting the seeds. Note my new hat sitting on the table beside me – whenever Cruella comes near me I whip it off defensively. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🌻 Sunflower seeds. Regular readers of this blog will remember that after the great seed disaster of 2020 I was forced to plant an odd arrangement of things. One of the great successes of Summer was the Sunflowers. These grew magnificently high and flowered beautifully. A few blogs back I showed you how to cut the heads off and dry them in preparation for harvesting seed. After thoroughly drying the heads it is now time to harvest the seeds.

Using a fork pry the seeds out from the seed head into a bowl. It is important that the seed head is completely dry. Then using various type of sieves, sift them as much as possible to separate the seeds from the chaff. Once you have as many seeds as you want, place them in a plastic box and store them in a cool, dry, dark space. When you are finished place the seedheads out in your garden so that the birds can get the rest of the seeds that you don’t want.

The first photo shows my efforts at manfully prising the seeds out of the heads. The second photo shows my sieving efforts (Don’t tell Cruella, I borrowed these from the kitchen). The third photo shows the seeds boxed up and ready to be planted next Spring. The last photo shows the seed heads lying on the lawn ready to feed the birds. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The misunderstanding started when I said to Cruella (my wife) that I was worried about my bald spot. She assured me that I shouldn’t worry as it happens to many men my age and that she still finds me attractive “in some ways”. Before I could explain that I was talking about the lawn she had whipped up a potion consisting of Cabbage leaves, frog spawn and what looked like coughed up phlegm. She proceeded to rub this into my head; anyway, to cut a long story short that’s how I ended up with a green head and having to wear a hat.

25th September: Things I have been doing lately.

👨‍🦲 Repairing a bald spot on the lawn. After the wear and tear of Summer (and two marauding Labradors) my lawn has developed a large bald area that is in need of repairing. If you have a lawn, then now is the time to repair it by re-sowing seed. The end of September and the first 2 weeks of October are the optimum time to undertake repairs to your lawn. The ground is still hot, but the scorching Sun of Summer is less fierce.

There are a number of stages to repairing a lawn:

Mow the grass very short in the effected area and then rake the area with a grass rake to pull up the grass thatch and expose the soil for the seed to contact.

Mix up an appropriate soil and compost mixture to form the base for your seeds to root. Deposit the soil/compost over the area and evenly spread with your rake. Once the solid mix has been evenly distributed roll it then check for lumps or hollows that need smoothing out or filling. The first photo below shows the Mantillo mix that formed the main base of my mixture.

Once your soil is prepared, sow your chosen grass seed. I use a Grama Kikyu mix which is a spreading grass that is very drought resistant (it is expensive but worth it). I have been hiding money from Cruella in my sock drawer to pay for it. From the photo below you can see that this seed is contained in a small pellet mixture that both feeds the seed and (hopefully) repels birds.

Once you have sown your seed use your rake to gradually tease the soil so that it partially covers your seed. This will ensure that the seeds have some contact with the soil. You then need to roll the whole area again to firm the seeds down and ensure soil contact. The photos below showing me raking and rolling, which is the gardeners equivalent of rock and roll. Cruella took these pictures but before she did so she questioned whether I was going to put a shirt on (I didn’t, it’s a small act of rebellion, but it’s what keeps me going). I also kept my hat on as my head is still green.

Finally, cover with a permeable membrane. This will keep the birds off and also ensure a nice humid growing temperature for the seeds. However, all this effort will be wasted unless you water at least three times a day. If the grass seed drys out it will just die very quickly.

🥀 Dead head Roses. Don’t forget to keep deadheading your Roses. If you do this assiduously over the next month or so you will get flowers right through to November. The photos below show some of my Roses which are now coming into their second annual bloom.

Our recent drought in Spain is about to end spectacularly and Cruella (my wife) is claiming the credit. She said she could no longer stand my being depressed about the lack of rain and to cheer me up she has summoned a storm. She spent most of last night on the roof holding on to the TV aerial dancing around, waving her arms about and chanting incantations. I had to go up and get her down as the police came around and said they had reports of an old lady pole dancing on my roof-they wanted to know if I had a license for dancing.

11th September: Things I have been doing lately.

🌨 Water Management: As the storm arrives you need to capture as much water as possible – get water butts, put out buckets, use old dustbins; anything so long as you capture the precious water. Even the smallest garden needs water so there is no excuse, especially in Spain where we have prolonged droughts. You will need this water throughout the year and it’s free so you cut down your water bill. The first photo below shows my compost bin lids raised ready to capture water to soak the compost. The second photo shows my large water tank surrounded by large dustbins into which I siphon water off. The last photo shows one of my extra large Ali Baba water butts.

🥀 Feed your Roses. Now is the time to give your Roses their last feed of the Summer. From my perspective it has not been “a good year for the Roses” no matter what Elvia Costello says. The drought has left them desiccated and therefore open to everything from Aphids to Rust. But never mind there is always next year. By feeding them now you will set them up to be ready for Winter pruning and next years growth. There are lots of Rose feeds so take your choice, but don’t buy cheap ones as they won’t really work. The photo below show the one I am using at the moment.

🥅 Take nets off Figs. Assuming you have netted your Figs then they are probably now at an end and you have enjoyed a Summer of delicious Figs. If not then just pick off all the half pecked Figs that the birds have destroyed (I told you what would happen and you only have yourself to blame). Anyway, cut the nets off now, don’t try and save them for next year, it is not worth it as they will have holes in them somewhere.

If you have an espalier Fig as I have then begin the process of tying in this year’s growth. You will complete the tying in later when you prune. The first photo below shows my espalier Fig with its netting. The second photo shows a branch with a tie.

🌱 Cut off citrus suckers. By now all your citrus trees should have their new fruit growing strongly. To ensure that all the goodness goes into the fruit and not into unproductive new growth, you have to cut off stem and trunk suckers. Suckers will be especially prevalent in old trees and can be seen as upward growing very bright green soft shoots. Just take them off by gently pulling down on them. The photo below shows one of my trees with the suckers marked and ready to be pulled off.

🌾 Cut off Yucca flower spikes. It has been a good year for Yucca flower spikes, so I hope you have enjoyed them. As the spikes die back cut them off so that the the plant does not go on to produce seed. This will be an ongoing task for the next few weeks as the spikes will come at different times. You can just leave them till they have all flowered, but this looks untidy and distracts from the lovely fresh quality of the new white flower spikes. The photos below show some of my Yuccas at various stages of flowering.

Cruella (my wife) and I arrived back from our English house to find that we had had a massive thunder storm in Spain whilst we were in England. Hooray, every water butt was full to overflowing, and the grass which I had fed before we went away was so green it could have been in Ireland. With this Great joy comes obvious responsibilities: grass needs to be mown, weeds need to be sprayed, Doves need to be sacrificed (as far as Cruella is concerned). But nevertheless besides these mundane chores there is lots of exciting things to do to keep an old gardener happy.

25th September: Things I have been doing lately.

🌴 Harvesting Dates. After my great success of sun drying figs I am now going to try sun ripening Dates. You will remember in my last post – if you were paying attention – that because of the great drought there was a huge crop of Dates on our Palms this year. Well, I have started to harvest them for the first time. Normally, I just leave them for the squirrels and the birds, but this year there are so many I thought. I deserved some. Dates can be harvested early and then will continue to ripen in the Sun.

The first photo below shows one of our few short Phoenix Palms overflowing with Dates. Most of our trees are about 30/40 feet high and I don’t trust Cruella to hold the ladder. But this one has enough fruit for an experiment in date ripening. You can leave the Dates on the tree to ripen fully, but the chances are that the squirrels and birds will beat you to it. Try not to harvest them when they are green, but wait just that little bit longer till they turn a yellowy colour.

The first job is to cut off the stalks which hold the dates in strands. This is a tricky job as the branches have long strong spikes sticking out all along their length. You should wear strong gardening gloves (but they will still get you). You can either cut the stalks off with a saw or, in my case I used long handled shears. The second photo below shows my crop laid out ready for separating the Dates from the stalks.

The next stage involves sitting in the shade and gently removing the Dates from the stalk by hand. You should only take the best ones with overall continuity of colour. The Dates  come off easily enough with a slight twist. The third photo below shows my Date stripping station (now I read that again it seems slightly creepy) sorry @#me too.

The final stage is to lay the harvested Dates out in the sun to ripen. As you can see from the photo below, I have laid the Dates on tea towels stolen from the kitchen and then covered them with a couple of Cruella’s hats. The idea of the tea towels is that it makes it easier to just wrap up the Dates and bring them in each night. I will let you know how I get on.

🍊 Feeding fruit trees. October is really the last month you should be feeding fruit trees. So, if you haven’t done it yet get out and do it soon. The process is very simple just hoe around the base of the tree to remove any weeds and break up the soil. Then apply the type of feed you prefer, but it must not be just a general feed, you need a specialist food for fruiting trees. You can get this in either liquid or granulated form. My preference is to use liquid form for most of the year, but for this last feed I will use a longer lasting granulated form. Liquid feed is a bit like fast food you eat it quickly, it tastes nice and then it’s gone. Granulated food is like a four course meal at a nice restaurant; you digest it slowly, enjoy every bit and always remember it. I am thinking of giving this garden stuff up and becoming a restaurant critic.

The photo below shows the feed that I use (others are available) note my trusty hoe standing near by (no I’m not going there again, I have already apologised), also don’t forget to hoe the feed in and also water it if it does not rain within two days.

Cruella (my wife) and I are currently at our English house, so I thought I would embellish my international gardening credentials by doing a two countries post on the blog. Before we went away I had some things to finish off in our Spanish garden and of course when I got to England I had the usual cutting back issues.

Anyway without any further ado let’s play international gardening.

16th September: Things I have been doing lately.

🍑 Removing nets from soft fruits. By now all your fruits such as figs and grapes should have finished fruiting and you can now take off the protective nets. If you didn’t put nets up then you probably didn’t have any fruit, but the birds did! It is important to take the nets off now as they can always be a hazard to small birds. The best thing to do is cut the nets off, they will probably have some holes in anyway, and if you try and take them off to save for next year you will only damage the tree. Nets are very cheap so don’t be such a cheapskate, buy new ones next year.

If you have Persimmons don’t take the nets off yet, for although the fruit appears hard, as it ripens on the tree so it becomes soft and the birds will be triggered by the bright yellow colour of the ripe fruit. Also don’t worry if all the leaves have fallen off your Persimmon tree this is meant to happen; the leaves are meant to sacrifice themselves for the fruit. A bit like Jesus, if you think about it.

The photo below shows some old bloke cutting the nets off a fig tree. Cruella says this is me, but I have a different image in my minds eye and I don’t believe her.

👅 Letting Mother in Laws Tongue see the light of day. Mother in Laws Tongue or Sansevieria trifasciata is a common plant here in Spain and is loved for its variegated leaves and drought hardiness. I have various clumps here in the garden and I noticed a large lump pushing through the membrane next to one of them. Out of curiosity I slit the membrane open and there were two new little Mother in Laws Tongue. From the photo below you can see they look just like the little creature that popped out of John Hurts chest in “Alien”.

🍇 Picking the grapes of wrath. The photo below shows the sum total of our grape crop this summer. I have three grape vines and this is all I get thanks to the great drought. Luckily I am not relying on this grape harvest for wine.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 And so to England.

As usual when we arrived our English garden is a bit overgrown and wild. But this actually quite suits it as it is set out as a small walled garden with the river as a backdrop.

✂️ Cutting things back in the back garden. The first thing I usually have to do is a gentle cut back of everything. The aim of this is just to shape things up a little bit and make sure we can walk up and down the garden safely.  The main cutback comes in January.

The first photo below shows the back garden just as I am about to cut it back. Apart from a general tidy up, in particular, I cut back the Roses that tend to have Hips at the end of the season. I am not really a fan of hips so I take them off so that the plant does not waste energy on them. Another plant that needs a tiny trim is the Hydrangeas. These grow over the pathway down the garden, but I really barely touch them. You must leave the spent Hydrangeas flowers on till next year’s new growth comes through. These protect the new growth from frost; this of course does not apply in our part of Spain, but in England it is very important.

The Second and third photos below show the Rose hips and the spent Hydrangea flowers. The final photo shows a large Oleander that I had to cut back a few years ago as it suffered in an English snow storm. I think I will cut it back again this year as it got a touch of frost last Winter and is just too big for its position.

✂️ Cutting things back in the front garden. The front garden like the back garden is small “but perfectly formed”. There is a small walled island bed planted with various shrubs lots of Yuccas and various medium size trees and shrubs. The main cut back here does not come till January, so again it is just a matter of tidying and trimming up. The only difference is the Yucca flower spikes. Like Spain the unusual hot weather in England has produced a fantastic and profuse flowering of Yucca. You need to cut these off when the flowering is over so that the plant does not waste its strength on seeds. The photo below shows the Yucca before trimming.

Everyone loves the Sun, I love the Sun, but you can have too much of a good thing. The current drought means there are no deep water reserves in the soil and no matter how deep plants send their roots they are still having difficulty finding water. Of course I in my desperation come along and water the soil which in turn makes the roots head for the surface to get the water the Sun then scorches the shallow roots and kills the plant; I feel like an accessory to murder.

7th September: Things I have been doing lately

🥐 Feeding the lawn. If you have any lawn left as opposed to desert dunes, then now is the time to give it the last feed of the Summer. Apply a high Potash feed using either a wheeled spreader or just broadcast it by hand. The only problem with hand broadcasting is that it can lead to patchy results with high doses that cause grass scorching or low doses that mean not enough feed. So if you can justify it get yourself a wheeled spreader, they don’t cost very much and you need to use it about six times a year.

This feed is important as the grass will have become exhausted with all that growing and now needs to recuperate during the cooler months. By doing this now you will get your reward with stronger brighter grass in the Spring. The photo below shows my spreader ready to go to work and a sack of the feed that I use.

🍂 Composting Autumn leaves. I know the height of Summer is a strange time to be thinking about Autumn leaves but that’s gardening for you. No doubt you will remember that I told you last Autumn to rake up all your leaves place them in sacks aerated by puncturing with a fork and then leave them in a dark place. Well if you did, it’s time to get them out. Leaves compost in a different way to normal plant matter so are best kept out of the compost heap for a while. I usually wait about 6-8 months then add them to the normal compost heap. By this time they will have done their main compost period and can be happily mixed in to add nice rich loam to your compost. The photo below shows one of my six sacks of leaves about to go to it’s final resting place in the compost heap. I have put one bag in every two weeks so that they are layered into the heap. This is riveting stuff I don’t know about you, but I’m on the edge of my seat.

🥔 Digging up Butternut Squash. Sadly my Butternut Squash have totally failed to provide me with even one little Squash this year all because of the drought. Last year was a bumper crop and Cruella (my wife) has been making Butternut Squash curries all year and using them in all sorts of spells. She even knitted little blonde wigs for them and had a line of Butternut Squash Donald Trumps (she is a big fan).

After feeding, watering and caring for them night and day I decided that enough was enough, they were not going to produce Squashes now so they had to go. In the end I dug up almost 20 metres of Butternut Sqash tendrils. The photo below shows one of the three barrow loads that went on the compost.

🌴 Checking out dates. Not that kind, I’m not thinking about “Tinder”, Anyway I thought it was something you lit fires with. No, I mean Date Palms. One of the big successes of this dry summer besides Figs, have been dates. I have a number of Phoenix Date Palm trees and all of them are bursting with dates, see photos below. The squirrels in my garden will have a fabulous time, but I plan to give them some competition. After my great success with sun dried Figs, I now plan to sun dry the dates. The only problem is Cruella and I are going to our English house for a couple of weeks and I don’t know if the squirrels will have left any by the time I return. I’ll let you know what happens.

💦 Its raining! My prayers have been answered it is just starting to rain; and quite heavily too. Much to Cruella’s amusement this has sparked a burst of frenetic activity from me. Firstly, I have to race round and open the lids of the compost bins so that they benefit from the rain. Then a quick sprint around all the water timers turning them to “off”, all 11 of them. Stopping only to tie up a wayward shoe lace, I then jog round all the water butts and tanks to make sure every thing is open and clear, ready to receive the lovely rain water. I place a large plastic box by each water butt ready to run off any excess and lastly I place three large plastic dustbins besides my large 1,000 litre tank ready to run off any overspill into each of the dustbins in turn. I have also decided to stick any Naya plants that are normally undercover into puddles for a drink; why not it’s free.

The first photo below shows me in unbelieving supplication as the first drops of rain begin to fall. The second photo shows my collection of water receptacles by the big water tank. The final photo shows a Lantana and an Aloe enjoying a drink in a puddle.

This post was going to be full of Zen like calm as we ran through the things that need tidying up as we end summer. That was before I discovered this tiny white fly and the bugger is eating my Ficus (weeping fig). I had to resort to international detective work to find out what it is, and it turns out if I’ve got it, then it is coming to bush near you very soon.

We will deal with the Zen stuff at the end of this post, but let’s get on with this fly emergency; I wish I had a pole to slide down, or at least a siren.

27th September, Things I have been doing lately:

🥊 Dealing with the fig whitefly: Yup that is what it is. After searching through the internet and talking to gardeners in the US, I have identified it as the fig whitefly (Singhiella simplex) which comes from the Order Hemiptera which also includes Aphids. Evidently it is relatively new to the US where it is destroying weeping figs just for fun and leaving large parts of Florida gardens completely bereft of their ficus hedges.

I discovered the little blighter purely by chance. I have two Ficus weeping figs, one is a smallish bush and the other is more tree like. Anyway, the small one started shedding its leaves quite dramatically and at first I thought it was an irrigation problem; but as they don’t need much water I was perplexed. Then I thought it might have been accidently hit by some wind borne weed killer as I had been spraying gravel near it. To help it recover from what I thought was weedkiller I was just applying a watering can full of feed and pushing back the leaves to get to the roots I was suddenly engulfed in a cloud of very small flies. It was only then that I twigged (plant pun) what was wrong. The clever little sod hides on variegated weeping figs, but because of its colour it sticks to the white part so you can never see it.

The fig whitefly has up to three egg laying periods in a season and the immature stage sits under the leaves not moving and sucking the life out of the leaves. Although there are some natural predators, not enough to deal with its astounding birth rate, so if you want to stop it you have to spray or drench the roots. If you want my advice go out and shake your Ficus now and I bet the little blighters are there – this could be a new dance craze, called doing the Ficus shake. See the picture below of my poor Ficus, you have been warned.

🍇 Trim back grape vines. Although it is not time for the big grape vine cut back, you can make the plant healthier by cutting back any lower sucker type growth close    to the ground. This has the benefit of not only making the plant look tidier, but also it ensures that its energy is going into the vines that will fruit next year. The first picture below shows one of our small vines that needed tidying, the second picture shows it showing off its legs like some hussy.

🌳 Trim suckers off the trunk of Californian false peppers. The False pepper is a lovely tree and we have lots of them in my area of Spain. But I have mentioned in previous posts that to keep it tidy you need to do a big cutback every 2 or three years and take off more or less all the branches and just leave the trunk. This then encourages the weeping willow effect that is so lovely. The drawback in this is that once you cut off the branches, then twice a year you need to cut off the suckers that swarm from the trunk. This is very easy as they are soft and pliable and can easily be removed quickly by a hedge trimmer. The first picture below shows the tree before trimming whilst the second shows it with what looks like designer stubble.

🍊 Trim suckers off the trunk of citrus trees. Talking of suckers, you should never give them an even break; I have used this rather lame joke in previous posts, but I believe in recycling. Anyway, at this time of year your orange and lemon trees will start to sucker like crazy. You will see bright green little shoots starting out all over the trunk of your trees. You need to take these off as they will take away the energy that you need to get your fruit ripe. Wearing gardening gloves, just pull the sucker down against the trunk and it will come away in your hand. If you have left it there too long and it has gone a darker green, then you will need to use secateurs to remove it. The picture below shows me in action removing a sucker.

👃 How is your Dame de Noche. If you have followed my advice in previous posts about when to prune your plant for best flowering; and I am sure you have, then you should have a magnificent flush of flowers that scent late summer barbecues. If you didn’t follow my advice then you are currently looking at a very uninspiring green lump of bush, and it’s your own fault. See the picture below of my Dame de Noche in late flower’ I am encouraging “petal envy”.

I have always been an admirer of mad scientists, the likes of Dr Frankenstein, Dr Moreau, Dr Emmet Brown and of course Dr Sheldon Cooper are all long time heroes of mine. It’s the idea of experimenting that I like, not the mad bit. But anyway, the whole point of this is that I decided to conduct my own experiment with plants. I have started with Spiderwort because that sounds the sort of name mad science experiments would have. It’s right up there with “Quaitermass and the pit” or “the Andromeda Project”. ‘The Spiderwort Question” is my chosen title, pretty cool eh!

24th September: Things I have been doing lately.

🕷 The Spiderwort Question. I might have bigged this up too much, for as most of you know Spiderwort or Trascedentia is a lovely Naya or terrace plant that is quite common here in Spain and in other warm climes, see the first picture below. Spiderwort can be grown in pots or can act as ground cover. It needs partial shade otherwise it will not thrive and will also lose the distinctive stripe on its leaves. The main problem I have found with Spiderwort over the years is that it can sometimes die back in the winter to such an extent that you can lose it. Therefore my strategy to date has been to take cuttings so that I am ready with replacements.

Now for the experimental bit; this year I am going to try three different ways of growing these cuttings on. I have bought a white coat from Amazon and I did try to get a stethoscope but my wife found out and stopped me. The white coat looks very fetching by the way and it appears that gardening’s great gain was a sad loss to mad scientistry. Anyway, back to the experiment. To take cuttings from Spiderwort you need a very sharp knife (secateurs will crush the stem); cut just below a side shoot on a long trailing stem. Then peel off all the leaves apart from a couple at the top, you are then ready to plant your cutting, see picture two below.

I know the excitements building, but here is my new three step trial that will eventually answer “The Spiderwort Question” – I am thinking of commissioning special music to go with me saying that. The first lot of cuttings I have planted as normal with four around the side of a 4 inch pot, see picture three below. The second ones I have just popped into a glass of rainwater that I have placed on a windowsill on my Naya, see picture four below. The third ones I have layered into little slits in the soil about 1 inch deep with the stem lying along the slit and the leaves coming out of the soil, see picture five below.

I shall be reporting back on progress in a few weeks; I will probably announce the results here, but it depends I may be called to the UN to report direct, we shall see, either way I will be wearing my white coat.

🍋 Watching fruit ripen: this time of year you have to keep an eye on any fruit that is on your trees to make sure you pick it at its optimum. You also have to make sure that nets etc are in place to ensure that birds don’t enjoy your fruit before you do.     At the moment I am watching Persimmon (kaka in Spain) and Pomegranates.

Persimmon will be ripe when it is fully bright yellow and slightly squashy to the feel. The colour of the fruit triggers the birds interest, so you have to net and go round every morning to squeeze the fruit for ripeness. See first picture below.

Pomagranates, of which I have a few (this lost verse to “My Way” never made it to the final Sinatra version). People some times think that as Pomegranates have such a tough skin there is no need to net them, but this is wrong, certain birds can soon strip a Pomegranate crop. As I only have a few, and they are well hidden in a hedge, I have not netted them. However, if I had a big tree with a good crop, I would definitely net. Anyway, to tell if Pomegranates are ripe they need to be going a lovely deep red russet colour and when you ping them with your finger they should give off a slightly metallic sound. See second photo below.

It is all very exciting round here at the moment, just as summer is winding down so we enter the season of “mists and mellow fruitfulness” as our old friend John Keats said; classic poetry and gardening – what’s not to like. Anyway, there is lots to be getting on with in the garden, not least harvesting fruit and taking late cuttings etc.

22nd September: Things I have been doing lately.

👶 Harvesting Sago Palm pups. As everyone knows Sago Palms are very expensive, but not if you can get them for free. Yup, all you have to do is watch out for when your Sago Palm starts to “pup”. The pup is a small mini Sago Palm that appears at the base of the plant, I don’t think daddy Palms are involved – at least I hope not, this is a wholesome family blog with a Christian message. Anyway, when this mini pup appears at the base of the plant – see first picture below – just dig around it carefully to expose what looks like a small coconut attached to the main trunk by a hard woody structure. Then taking a sharp spade cut down as close to the pup as you can. This takes a fair bit of force, but if you persevere you will succeed in loosening the pup from its mum. You will then have what looks like a mangled coconut with fronds sticking out the top, see second photo.

Cut off the fronds to leave you with a woody coconut with a scar on one side where you cut it from the Palm. Clean this up with a hard brush being careful not to do any more damage to the scarred area. You then need to leave the pup in a dry cool area out of the sun, for about two weeks till the scar heals over, see third photo. This stage is important so don’t be tempted to just plant the pup, as infection will get in, the pup will die, and I will phone the Spanish RSPCA equivalent and they will prosecute you.

After two weeks plant the pup in a tight fit pot, in a mixture of sand and compost. This needs to be free draining so 25% sand to 75% compost should be about right. I have made the mistake of making the mix 50/50 before with subsequent disaster. Water this lightly and keep it dry to the touch, too wet and it will rot. Keep an eye on it and hopefully in about six weeks you should see fronds growing from the top. See photo four for a happy pup in his bed.

I really wanted to concentrate in this Post on finishing off the lawn chores and in general tidying up around the garden, but events have overtaken me. I have to conclude today’s post with a tale of betrayal and cuckoldry (look it up).

13th September: Things I have been doing lately

🌿 Clearing leaves and debris off stones and lawns. As this summer has been exceptionally hot we have seen lots of trees dropping copious amounts of leaves. You already know that if the drop on lawns you must clean them up before they kill off the grass. But it is just as important to clean up if you have laid gravel. The danger with gravel is that if you do not clean up leaves and debris then it will eventually mulch down between your gravel and provide an excellent leaf humus for weeds and unwanted tree seedlings. If you look carefully at the first photo below you will see a gravelled area of our garden which has accumulated leaves. This needs to be cleared up whilst the leaves are still whole and before they break down into leaf humus.

The best thing to do with this is wait for a very dry day when there is no strong winds, then using a leaf blower or leaf rake if you are a technophobe. In my case I use my leaf blower to blow all the leaves onto the lawn. Once I have successfully chased the leaves around for an hour or so, I then use my mower set on a high setting to hoover them up. This has three benefits. Firstly, it means you don’t have to bag all the leaves up as the mower does this. Secondly, you can use the shredded leaves in your compost. Thirdly, and probably most importantly the lawn mower shredding action will deposit a very fine leaf mold directly to the roots of your grass. What’s not to like! The second picture below shows the leaves successfully blown onto the lawn. I know I won’t win a Pulitzer Prize for photography, but I just wanted you to see how hard I was working.

🥔 Clearing up after Butternut Squash and Melons. By now most of your Butternut Squash and Melons should be harvested. I just have two plants at the far end of our small orchard that have three fruits on them. But the rest have been harvested and I needed to clean up the area as we have a Church event in our garden this weekend. Just pull the Squash and Melon vegetation directly out of the ground by holding the main stem close to the soil and easing it out. All of this lovely vegetation should then be put on your compost heap.

Melons as I have mentioned before have been a disaster this year because of them pesky ants. However, I shall have my wife take my annual photograph with the Squash and you will see it soon – I know you can’t wait. The photo below shows a nicely cleared orchard; if you look closely you will see the two Squash plants awaiting harvest at the far end.

🐥 Paternity tests for plants! As the heading to this post so dramatically says, it has come to my attention that I am raising another man’s plant; actually it’s “woman” but that doesn’t sound so dramatic. Anyway, to get on with the story. You will remember I told you a few months back that whilst I was In England for three weeks. I left the garden to be looked after by my friend Karl in conjunction with my wife. I left explicit and detailed instructions for all aspects of garden care, but they still managed to destroy my tomato plants – which I may have mentioned in the past. However, just when I thought it was all behind me and there was no other ways they could hurt me (in a gardening sense of course) it has all come flooding back.

This is how the story unfolds. I had been given a cutting of a lovely Solanum with a nice blue flower and I had duly potted it on. As with all cuttings they do not look very distinctive in this early stage so I always place them in a certain order so I know who is who. These events took place early to mid summer when I usually have cuttings and seedlings all over the place. Included in my cuttings was a Dame de Noche which I was hoping to grow for my friend Daphne. Anyway, to cut a long story short Karl and my wife switched the plants around and then, I believe deliberately, but I could not prove it in a court of law, killed all the seedlings and cuttings through neglect. When they told me of this outcome, I was of course disappointed but when I enquired after the blue Solanum they both assured me that it was the sole survivor.

Since that fateful day I have cosseted the Solanum as the sole survivor of the Killing Fields of 2017, as I like to call this summers massacre. I have potted it on and eventually planted it out ready to start climbing up trellis. You may remember that a few Posts back I featured it as a survivor of Chlorosis; which I sat up all night nursing it through. Although things seemed fine I first started to harbour suspicions that all was not what it seemed. The first signs were the leaves seemed a bit large, but to be honest I didn’t want to admit to myself that something was wrong. I talked to my wife about it but she assured me that it was all in my imagination. Though I did notice she phoned Karl directly after this conversation.

Anyway, the flowers started to form and my excitement rose. However, again I became suspicious as they were the wrong shape, and the plant itself was trying to form a bush rather than climb. Although it has not flowered yet, I decided that it was time to confront my wife. Oh, she cried and denied it, but eventually she cracked and confessed. She promises me that it was only once, it didn’t mean anything, and it would never happen again. But once you lose trust in a gardening sense there is not much point in going on. We are now going to counselling and I have promised to raise the plant as my own. Daphne will have to wait till next year for her Dame de Noche and I have challenged Karl to a duel. The picture below shows the Dame de Noche, the good things is people think it looks like me!