Category: Gardening

Cruella (my wife) is away for almost three weeks. She is visiting our idiot son and subjecting him to what she calls “mother’s love” and what he calls harassment.

Anyway, the good news is that I am gardening on a 24 hour cycle. I divide each day into three 6 hour portions of gardening with two hours rest between each. I mainly sleep in the compost bin for the warmth and I wash in the water feature.

The bad news is that I have been tasked with taking care of Cruella’s chickens whilst she is gone. The last thing she said to me as she sat astride her broom – before taking off over the trees – was “look after my girls”. And I have, they have been locked up 24 hours a day with Tango the lonely blind Labrador acting as guard. All was going well till she found out. More later, on with the gardening.

22nd September 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

• Continuing to deadhead and tie up.
• Cleaning up leaves on gravel.
• Revitalising my lawn
• Setting up a chicken internment camp.

Continuing to deadhead and tie up. By now most of your flowering plants will be almost spent. But don’t give up on them yet, with careful care you can get another month of flowering.

Your starting point should be to assess which plants are worth bothering with, and which just need to come out and go to the compost heap. Any plant that is not producing new flower heads and where all you have is spent flowers, needs to come out. Alternatively, any plant that has at least 50% flowers and is still producing should be saved.

You will need to start by tying the plant to a cane to give it some support. Then deadhead on a daily basis. Given this encouragement there will be a lot more flowers.

The photos below show the various stages of saving your plants for some autumn colour. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Cleaning up leaves on gravel. This may seem like a mundane job and not really worth doing. But in my part of Spain (Costa Blanca) lots of people have enhanced their gardening by using gravel. Used properly with island planting gravel can really enhance a garden, and in our heat is a practical solution. My problem is when people completely gravel over their garden and turn them into what looks like a car park. Any way, my petty prejudices are for another day.

Whatever the reasons for gravel, if you have it, then you need to keep it clear of debris. Debris, such as leaves and pine needles will gradually mulch down into your gravel providing a lovely fine tilth ideal for weeds. So you need to keep your gravel clear or you will eventually lose it to weeds.

You can keep your gravel clear by raking on a regular basis, but a more practical approach – if you have a large garden – is to use a garden blower. The photos below show me in action with my regular clean up process.

Revitalising my lawn. Regular readers of this blog will know that I have neglected my lawn all Summer as I was contemplating giving up on grass. However, after a complete change of mind I have spent the past few weeks trying to revitalise my lawn and bring it back into some sort of shape.

Now I know that the vast majority of you do not have lawns, and think that I am mad, but I can’t help it, I just love to see the green in a Spanish garden. Anyway, there is no point in trying to talk me out of it, I have made up my mind.

If like me you a setting out to revitalise your lawn, then these are the various stages.

To start with you need to assemble the various things you will need. This will include a top dressing to provide a grow medium for your seeds. You will also need a good grass seed. This can be bewildering as there are so many different types. I chose one that was appropriate for renovation rather than a new lawn. Lastly, you will need a membrane to cover your new seeds and keep them from the birds (and chickens). The photos below show my assembled accoutrements. Click on each photo for a larger view.

To start your renovation process you will need to rake (with a garden tine) and remove the thatch. Before applying your top dressing. The photos below show my main problem areas and the start of my raking. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Once you have completed the above you then need to add your top dressing and brush this over the area you are about to seed. When you are ready, sow your seed by moving across the patch and then traversing from side to side to ensure an even spread. Finish off by sieving some top dressing to cover your seeds and then rolling the area to ensure good contact between the seed and the soil. The photos below show the various stages. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The final task is to completely cover the seeded area with a protective membrane to ensure that the birds can’t rob you of your precious seed. The photos below show some of my work, I did go on to do more.

As with all things gardening, nothing is simple. Resting safe in the knowledge that I had protected my precious seed from birds, I completely forgot the danger of ants.

Grass seed provides ants with an ideal take-away of ready made and packaged food. I had forgotten how they had robbed me a few years ago, when they happily trundled all my grass seed under ground.

Sure enough they came back. I was happily perusing my work a few days later when I noticed an earth disturbance under my membrane. When I pulled the membrane back to check, sure enough there was a volcanic entrance to Hades, into which all my grass seed had been taken. The photos below show the horror, together with my retribution. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Setting up a chicken internment camp. As soon as Cruella (my wife) had disappeared over the trees, I immediately locked all the chickens up in their coop. Ostensibly this was so they would not interfere with my gardening, but really it was for revenge for all the indignities both they and Cruella had inflicted on me.

You should have seen their faces. Every time I walked by they would all rush to the wire and jabber away in Chickenese indignantly. Although I don’t speak Chickenese I could tell from their faces what they were saying. Basically, “let us out…we are going to tell our Mum…you will be for it when she gets back”. But I just ignored them happily pointing at my ear in a pantomime fashion whilst shouting in a loud voice “sorry I don’t speak Chickenese”. The photos below show their imprisonment. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Everything was going well for a few days. I was getting on with the gardening and Tango the lonely blind Labrador was enjoying his role as a guard dog; he was very keen on the uniform. Yes, I know we are both perfectly cognisant with the flaws in his role, but he is old and it gives him purpose.

Anyway, it all fell apart after five days. Cruella rang up asking me how things were. I explained everything was fine and there were no problems. She asked to speak to her girls, but I said they were not here as they were running around the garden. I thought I had got away with it as there was no way the chickens could contact her as I had taken all their phones away and cut off their Wi-Fi.

The next day she phoned back incandescent with rage. “What have you done” she screamed. “Nothing” I replied, “don’t lie to me, let me speak to the girls”. I tried to stall, I said they were sleeping etc, but all to no avail. I asked her why she thought there was something wrong, and her only reply was “I can feel it there has been a disturbance in the Chicken Force”.

The upshot of all this was that I had to put Helga the Hen on the phone. As I said previously I don’t speak Chickenese, but I could pick up phrases like… “he has done what!…how long” I might have got away with it but Tango turned Kings Evidence. He had taken off his uniform and confessed everything to Cruella. When later I berated him as a traitor he said he had mental health issues.

Well they are out again, roaming the garden stealing what is left of my grass seed. I still don’t know how they got word to Cruella (my wife), but I have my suspicions. I have seen them talking to a white Dove that has been in their coop. But I don’t think it is a Dove, I think it is a stool pigeon. See the photo below.

To be honest I am really fed up with this summer, it has been a gardening disaster: my seedlings never properly germinated, my lawn looks like the surface of the moon, my figs and grapes have been eaten by birds, my favourite Agave died, my Dame de Noche refused to flower and now I am being terrorised by Cruella’s new chicken.

I could cry. But never mind, we gardeners are made of sterner stuff, let’s get on with the gardening – what’s left of it.

1st September 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

• Repairing the lawn
• Chopping down the dead Agave
• Pruning the Dame de Noche
• Netting fruit
• Taking summer cuttings
• Dealing with Helga the hen

Repairing the lawn. The last time I posted about my lawn I was in the depths of despair. The lack of rain and constant chicken attacks had made a mockery of my grass. I was seriously contemplating tearing it all up and planting a range of new beds with succulents. But after many a sleepless night I have decided to take Madonna’s advice in her greatest hit and I am definitely keeping my baby (the lawn).

This has meant I am now in the process of planning a major renovation. The first thing I did was feed the grass and I have now re-started a twice weekly irrigation programme. I will be ordering new Grama type grass seed for the Autumn. The photos below show the challenge I face. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Chopping down the dead Agave. I have lots of Agave Attenuata around my garden and I particularly love this plant as it forms a family of pups around the main plant. Every 10-20 or so years the main plant will flower spectacularly in a huge arc of flowers and then die just as spectacularly leaving behind the motherless pups.

Over a period of time 3-5 years the pups will sit there motherless until one suddenly decides to become mummy and grows much bigger, and so the cycle continues.

Once the main stem has finished its magnificent flowering, then it is time to cut it right back. The photo below shows me with the Agave in all its flowering pomp.

The next photos show the poor Agave 3 months later accompanied by a photo of its orphan pups. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Finally the flowering spike is cut off and makes its way ceremonially to the compost bin. I do not take the death of an Agave lightly and therefore ensure that all due bereavement procedures are followed.

I dress in black and the compost bins are draped in black crepe. We set off from the point where the flowering arch has been cut and process across the big lawn and down the drive to the compost bins. Tango the lonely blind Labrador has black rosettes either side of his ears and he follows mournfully behind the wheel barrow. Chopin’s Funeral March from Sonata number 2 is played loudly.

Cruella and her chickens line up, but only to mock me and Tango. They point at us and shriek away in Chickenese, especially when poor Tango goes the wrong way or bumps into a tree.

When we arrive at the compost bin I lay the big Agave to rest and sprinkle composting powder over her and say a prayer. Our last ceremonial flourish is the last post, but this was somewhat spoiled as when I stepped back to salute, Tango was right behind me and I fell over backwards. We both ended up in a sprawling heap which caused paroxysms of mirth from Cruella and her cackling crew.

Click on each photo for a larger view.

Pruning the Dame de Noche. If you have a Dame de Noche, and many of you will have – then it has been a terrible year for this normally reliable night scenter. The severe lack of rain has meant then even mature well rooted plants like mine have struggled to produce blooms.

The normal pruning procedure I use for this plant involves cutting back by a third in late August to encourage a second flowering followed by a big cut back in January to about 12-18 inches. This has not been possible this year because of the state of the plant, see the photo below.

Instead of the normal pruning procedure I have taken one third of the foliage away and I will not cut back in January. This will mean that the plant will be substantially bigger next year, but I am hoping that the winter rains will bulk it up. The photo below shows my Dame de Noche finished for this year.

Netting fruit. The only soft fruit I have left this year is my Persimmons. Normally, I would net them at the same time as my figs, but given that I was late with the figs and suffered huge bird depredations, I was not going to make the same mistake again.

Persimmon will slowly go from a soft blush red to a bright yellow as they mature. The birds are watching them just as you are, and they know exactly when they are at their best.

You need to net now with a small mesh net (so you don’t end up with birds hanging upside down each morning). As the fruits mature you can take them off and let them ripen off the tree. They are lovely in fruit salads or eaten directly with a spoon. The photos below show my little tree full of fruit and eventually netted. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Taking summer cuttings. Most plants will by now be heading for seed, but occasionally as you wander round your garden you may notice the odd particularly lush plant that is bursting with new growth. If you find them, then why not try some late summer cuttings.

I have a Swedish Ivy (Creeping Charlie) in a pot that I got as a root cutting from my friend Camilla. This is bursting with new growth and I have decided to take some cuttings. The photo below shows the plant bursting with new growth.

When you take cuttings this time of year it is useful to purchase some ziplock plastic bags (sold in every supermarket) these will aid humidity by keeping the plant moist. It is also useful to have some rooting liquid or powder (not necessary but useful). The photo below shows my preparations.

Once you are ready fill 4 inch pots with a good compost and water them well. Take the cuttings from just below a growth node, and then using your thumbnail pinch out all the leaves up the cutting stem leaving just a couple of leaves at the top. Dip each cutting in hormone liquid before planting it securely in the pot. Place the pot in the ziplock bag and seal.

It is a good idea to open the bag at the top for about half an hour each day and ensure you keep the cuttings in the shade for a few weeks until growth starts. See photos below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Dealing with Helga the hen. Regular readers of this blog will remember that Cruella (my wife) favourite hen died last month. She quickly announced that her girls would need a new friend and promptly ordered another giant chicken.

Helga the giant hen duly arrived two days later. Cruella was immediately smitten and declared her the love of her life. In case you are interested I am seventh on this particular list. First the idiot son, then the four chickens followed by Tango the lonely blind Labrador and then me. The photos below show Helga and the new line up. Click on each photo for a larger view.

In a stupid attempt to curry favour with Cruella I started to feed Helga by hand with what was left of my figs and grapes. This has resulted in her continually following me everywhere demanding more food. If I fail to give her a grape or fig she starts to peck my toes. I have tried shouting at her but she only speaks chickenese.

I have explained to Cruella (my wife) that Helga is out of control, but she says it’s only girlish fun. But you can see from the photos below that she sits on my chair, waits on the table to be fed, stops me reading my Bible and is currently sitting beside me as I write this. I fear for the future. Click on each photo for a larger view.

It is that time of year again when you are clearing out the last of the summer flowerers, but is not yet time for the big winter cutback. Gardeners often complain to me that they have little to do during this period, but I scoff at their ennui and lament their lack of enterprise; on the contrary this is the time for enterprise, imagination and gardening brio. Yes, it is time to look around your garden and start working on your winter projects.

No matter how good your garden is, and how well planned, there is always room for improvement. This is especially the case in Spain. Too many gardens are covered in acres of unrelenting gravel and paving, to the extent that they look more like car parks than gardens, what Americans would term “a yard”, no offence to my USA readers. When I ask people why they have gardens like this they always come up with the same two reasons: 1. it was like this when I bought the house. 2. It makes it easy for upkeep. Now if you are happy with that fine, but if not now is the time to take action.

The starting point for winter projects is to stroll around your garden with a critical eye and ask yourself what can I do to change, improve and alter my garden so that it will bring me more joy and be pleasing to the eye. To assist you in your endeavours I have included in this post some ideas from my own garden and ongoing projects.

Unfortunately this blog cannot just be about gardening as Cruella and her chickens are intent on inflicting more damage to my garden and my psyche. But, more about that later, let’s get on with the joy of winter projects.

6th November 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

• redesigning my little water feature
• constructing planting islands in gravel
• cloud pruning and making trees interesting
• chicken sex lessons
  
  Redesigning my little water feature. A number of years ago I designed and built a little water feature that would burble away whilst I swung backwards and forwards in my adjacent hammock slung between two palm trees. It also served to alleviate the sameness of gravel, by introducing planting and different colour gravel. Unfortunately, this was BC3 (before chickens). Since then my hammock has been removed a fenced area installed and a chicken coop erected in my previous paradise. This has meant that my little water feature has been neglected, and anyway the previous lavender plants never worked out. The photo below shows the state of neglect.

There were a number of stages in reviving this area. First, I had to take out and bin all the existing plants. Then I decided to rework the water feature element to make it simpler and more pleasing to the eye. I then had to decide on the type of planting I wanted around the water feature. I was looking for long stems that would not trap the pine needles and a no nonsense plant that would add interest without being needy.

Looking around my garden it had to be Aeonium of which I had plenty from which to take cuttings. The next stage was to cut through the existing membrane to plant, but only after dipping in hormone rooting liquid to give them a better chance of rooting. Finally I planted alternative Aeonium Schwartzkopf (black head) and Verdi the (green head) to give interest. The photos below show the various stages, I will let you know how it develops in future posts. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Constructing planting islands in gravel. By introducing some plants and different types/colours of gravel you can begin to alleviate the sameness of acres of gravel and paving. I have followed this strategy over a number of years in areas where grass or similar is unsustainable. The photos below, which are all taken from my garden, show how a bit of island planting can enliven gravelled areas.

The photo below shows my rose beds which are planted in different coloured gravel which ensures differentiation even during winter. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The examples below show other areas of island planting that bring greenery into gravelled areas. Don’t be afraid to follow the same strategy in paved areas. You just need to lift a few paving slabs in strategic areas and you will alter the whole feel of your garden. If you are worried or don’t have the skills just get a builder in and it will take about half an hour. The final photo shows my larger water feature which fulfills the same function of being a focal point in an area of the garden. Click on each photo for a larger view.

From all of the above you can see how little projects done over a longer period of time can begin to bring life to gravelled areas.

Cloud pruning and making trees interesting. Trees like gravelled areas, are aspects of Spanish gardens that are often left as uninteresting lumps punctuating uninteresting gardens. But you don’t have to settle for this. Just because you inherited this behemoth of a tree, or, you just let it get out of control doesn’t mean you have to leave it like that. Cloud pruning and shaping your trees will bring amazing levels of interest to your garden. If you are worried about getting up a ladder then just call in the professionals and tell them your ideas.

The photos below show some examples of my various trees that I have shaped or cloud pruned to bring interest. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Chicken sex lessons.This section of the post could easily degenerate into smuttiness, so it will require everyone to be adult. It all started when Cruella said she thought her girls were growing up and they might have unmet needs. When I asked her what she meant she said she needed a “Cock”!. Putting aside the double entendres that the less educated of you may have reached for, she explained that her girls where no longer girls and where young woman with normal urges.

Anyway, it turns out that she was going to start a programme of sex lessons for her girls to gradually introduce them to the facts of life. Aware of her girls sheltered upbringing, she pointed out that they had never seen a male apart from me and Tango the lonely blind Labrador, he is neutered, and she has often expressed the wish that I was. She said she was going to start gradually and purchased a painting of a Cock – stop it! Using the painting of the Cock she has been holding a series of closed women only sessions in the Chicken coop where she is explaining the “facts of life” in chickenese to her girls. The photo of the Cock is shown below.

I have crept up and listened in a number of times, but obviously I don’t speak chickenese, but the clucks, pucks and shrieks, speak volumes. At the end of the 6th session which covered foreplay and the actual mating, a vote was taken. It turns out they have all voted against the Cockerel and have decided to remain “old maids”. Cruella is overjoyed and says it’s for the best as she feels that as well brought up young ladies her girls should not be sullied by brute male company. However, I have noticed her browsing “adopt a chick” on the internet. The photo below shows the end of the 6th session when all the chickens turned away in horror.

Cruella (my wife) has been away visiting our idiot son which means I have been able to get on with all the autumnal jobs I need to do in the garden. But it hasn’t been easy, the chickens follow me everywhere and just stand there staring at me. To make matters worse they have developed a shoe fetish and I think they need counselling. Anyway more of this later, on with the gardening:

24th October 2023. Things I have been doing lately.

• repairing the lawn
• dealing with the end of the soft fruit season
• repotting plants
• tying up Canna and relentlessly deadheading
• dealing with the chicken shoe fetish

Repairing the lawn. I know that most of you do not have lawns, as only an idiot would have a lawn in Spain – I have to hide from Cruella every time the water bill arrives. Anyway if you have a lawn now is the time to repair it. The heat of the summer has gone, but it is still warm and there is the odd chance of rain to encourage your new seeds.

Begin by getting everything together that you will need to successfully complete your lawn repairs. The photo below shows everything you will need all loaded into my wheelbarrow. This includes:

• sifted compost mixed with soil
• good quality grass seed
• garden protective fleece and ground staples
• antpowder

Once you have assembled everything, then you need to cut the lawn quite short and rake over the patches you are going to repair. Once you are happy that you have raked sufficiently to bring the soil to the surface, spread your new mixture of soil and compost in heaps over the repair area. Next you will need to evenly rake your soil over the proposed repair area and roll it to ensure it engages with the surface of the lawn. Once you have rollered you should gently rake the new patch with a garden tined rake. Next sow your new seed by sprinkling left to right and then up and down to give you a nice even spread. Finish the sowing stage by rollering once more to ensure the seed has good contact with the soil and is slightly embedded.

That is it, you are finished; just make sure you never let the seed dry out. And if you left it there, then tomorrow when you come out to inspect your work there would be absolutely no grass seed left – not even a tiny bit. And that is because the birds and the ants are both stocking up for winter and your lovely expensive grass seed is very nutritious. So you have to protect your work. First by covering the seeded area in a garden fleece that will stop the birds, and then by sprinkling ant powder in a continuous line all around the fleece edge – leave one little gap and the ants will be in. The photos below show the whole process in action.

Dealing with the end of the soft fruit season. We are nearly at the end of the soft fruit season and we are about to enter the citrus season. And there are a few final things you need to be doing. Firstly keep picking fruit on a daily basis. Where fruiting has finished then it is time to remove your nets. My advice is not to try and save your nets for next year, you will cause more damage to your plants. Instead just get a pair of scissors and cut your old nets off. Finally, if you have espalier plants then you need to tie them in to ensure the correct growth. The first two photos below show my daily fruit pick. The next photos show my net removal technique and espalier tying in.

Repotting plants. Most of your pot plants should be almost dormant by now, so if necessary, this is the best time to repot those of them that have outgrown their pot. The first thing to do is to select a pot that is just one size up from the existing pot. If you go for a much bigger pot then there is a danger of a virus infecting the empty soil that has yet to be filled by roots. Place your plant into the new pot whilst it is still in its existing pot. Then fill around the old pot, ensuring you tamp the new compost firmly around the old pot. Wiggle the old pot around and then remove, leaving a pot shaped space in the compost for the plant to be replanted into. The photos below show this first stage.

You now need to remove your plant from the old pot. If it is a plastic pot, then you can normally remove the plant safely without damage. However, if it is a terracotta or clay pot, then it is better to give up on the pot and just smash it as this will cause less damage to the roots. The photos below show the journey from old smashed pot to nice new home.

Tying up Canna and relentlessly deadheading. Most flowering plants will have finished by now, though I have to say my Marigolds have been flowering unstoppably since March and are still going strong. The secret to my long flowering Marigolds is daily deadheading, ruthless removal of spent plants and propping up those left. The photos below show the valiant veterans gallantly flowering on into November.

Most bulb based plants can have all their top growth cutback now. However, the big exception is Cannas. Do not cut Cannas back yet, instead tie them up and leave their top growth to die back ungracefully. it doesn’t matter if your plants end up looking like a gang of drunks on a night out. By leaving the top growth to die back all of the goodness will be passed back down into their rhizomes, thereby ensuring powerful growth next Spring. The photo below shows my Cannas dying disgracefully.

Dealing with the chicken shoe fetish. It all started the very day Cruella flew off. I remember it well because she hit the top of the Mulberry tree on take off. No sooner had she vanished over the roof tops than the chickens started following me around. They didn’t actually do anything, they just followed me staring all the time, it was quite intimidating.

I phoned Cruella that night and told her about the problems with the chickens, she instantly said “what did you do to them” she then asked me to put them on the phone. I gave the phone to Big Bertha -their leader – and she squawked away in Chickenese to Cruella. When Cruella came back on the phone she said that her girls were suffering from separation anxiety and needed to be kept calm. She went on to say that she would arrange counselling when she got back!

Anyway when it came to putting them in their coop at night I found them all crowded around the shoes that Cruella wears when she goes out to their coop. I tried to shoo – no pun attended- them into their coop but they refused to move. In the end I had to carry one of Cruella’s shoes and place it in their coop. They all followed me clucking and eventually went up. Things are a lot better now as Cruella has sent me recordings of her singing all their favourite songs in Chickenese. I play these at night and during feeding times. So far it’s working; their favourites are “the ugly duckling” and “the chicken dance”; you should see them dance around to the chicken dance. The photo below shows the start of the shoe fetish.

I’ve been away, not for long, but long enough for Cruella (my wife) to try and destroy the garden. Despite the fact that I leave copious instruction notes she still manages to kill things. On top of all that her bloody chickens are now on the worlds most expensive diet. I think it is all becoming too much for me, I may abandon the garden and take up stamp collecting. On with the gardening; for now, including:

• Repairing the garden
• Dealing with plant disease before winter
• Reshaping my olive tree
• Dealing with fruit issues
• Coping with Prima Donna chickens

6th October 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

Repairing the garden. When I left for my short absence the garden was in superb condition. However, upon my return there was neglect and decay everywhere. I honestly thought of calling up the RHS helpline to report Cruella and hopefully get her a lifetime ban from ever owning a garden.

One of the main problems was the lawn. Cruella had allowed it to grow feral as she claimed that her girls prefer long grass. The photos below show the lawn before and after I cut it all back.

Perhaps the worst item of neglect was the death of my poor little advocado cutting. I had been growing this on for two years from a stone, and I was thinking of planting it in the ground in the autumn. The photo below shows what is left of it.

Dealing with plant disease before winter. Now is the time to go round and inspect all of your perennial plants before winter. This is an important process before the plants go into hibernation for the winter season. Any disease that your plant is harbouring will go on causing harm when the plant is in hibernation, and in many cases can be fatal. My inspection found me two typical cases that needed dealing with.

The first involved a lovely Dipladenia that had been happily growing up a trellis for a couple of years. It had got itself a severe case of Mealy Bug, which with its sticky honeydew droppings had caused considerable leaf drop. I had sprayed a couple of times to no avail, so now it was time to take drastic action and cut back. Don’t be afraid to cutback plants to near the ground to get rid of pests. In most cases this will invigorate your plant and give it a fresh start. The photos below show the Dipladenia in its diseased state and then with its new start in life.

My second disease problem was on a lovely Jasmine which grows up the corner of my house on wires. This stalwart reliable plant got itself a bad case of mildew. Now Jasmine normally die back and look a bit dead this time of year, but in this case the leaves were not dry and crisp, instead they were powdery and limp. This was obviously caused by the high humidity this year, and can normally be cured by spraying, but it was too far gone and too late in the year, so it had to be drastically pruned. If you have to do this don’t worry, Jasmine doesn’t mind being taken back to the ground every few years. The photos below show the Jasmine before and after.

Reshaping my olive tree. Once you have cloud pruned olive trees into the shape you want them, then you need to trim them up about three times a year to keep them sharp. The photos below show my olive tree before and after it’s smartening up.

Dealing with fruit issues. This year has been fantastic for fruit, and there is still a bumper crop of oranges and lemons to come. However, in the meantime keep picking and processing fruit on a daily basis. I still have lots of figs and persimmons galore, with pomegranates yet to come. The first photo below shows my daily haul of figs, the second shows my little persimmon tree with its final fruits and lastly my pomegranates waiting to be harvested. Remember, if possible leave your pomegranates till they go red. Don’t worry if they split a bit, as these are one of the few fruits you can still eat after splitting because of their compartmentalisation.

Sadly, I have to report the only fruit I have had a problem with this year is my little white peach tree. I have grown this from a cutting and this would have been it’s first year fruiting. There was an abundance of fruit on the tree and I was looking forward to a bumper harvest. But unfortunately the heavy rain last month caused the fruit to swell and split its skin. The first photo below shows my little tree bursting with fruit, but as you can see in the second photo, all of it split. Oh well that is gardening, there is always next year; God willing.

Coping with Prima Donna chickens. While I was away Cruella (my wife) has become even more indulgent with her chickens. When I returned she explained that her girls were now on a new expensive diet which she said had been recommended by a Hollywood Chicken influencer (I didn’t know there was such a thing). This diet consists of individually roasted insects which come in very expensive little packets. When I queried why I still only got porridge and Tango the lonely blind Labrador is still fed Chappie, she accused me of trying to give her girls food issues.

The new food was only the start, she then confessed that the chickens have been having exercise classes with a personal trainer. She explained it was called Tai Chicken and was a variant of Tai Chi specially for chickens (I didn’t know there was such a thing). When I said that sounded like Thai Chicken she burst into tears. Anyway, the end result is I have no money left and the chickens are strutting around in designer leggings feeding on designer chicken insect caviar. The photo below shows the chickens and their insect buffet; if you look closely you can see their leggings.

I hate to tell you this but summer is coming to an end and there is lots you need to do now to get the garden ready for next year. But, even though there is lots to do don’t forget to enjoy the garden through the late summer phase. Just to give you an overview, this post covers the following:

• thinning out your borders and beds
• collecting seeds for next year
• picking fruit
• Taking care of your roses
• Kerry’s olive tree is shaping up
• Tango the lonely blind Labrador gets framed

9th September 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

Thinning out your borders and beds. All of your borders and beds will now be getting past their best. But if you want your plants to keep blooming till the end, then you will need to do a bit of work.

Firstly, you need to keep deadheading every day. The deadheading process stops the plant concentrating on seed production and will ensure that it keeps on flowering. There will come a point where the plant can produce no more flowers, this is usually by the time it has more than 50% dead or dying stems. When this happens, you should let the plant die gracefully but leave it in place for a few weeks to feed the insects.

Secondly, you need to thin out your dead plants after leaving them in place for a few weeks. By eventually removing dead plants you are letting more air and sun get to those remaining. In addition you are exposing the soil so that those plants you want to self seed (in my case Osteospermums) can drop their seed and eventually give you hundred of Autumn seedlings. The photo below shows a typical trug of deadheads and dead plants.

Collecting seeds for next year. If you mark up your best blooms each year and then collect their seed, you begin to build up a range of large, strong super blooming plants that are resistant to disease. The photo below shows me with some of my Marigolds that I have selectively bred over more than 10 years. Note that instead of being 10 inches high, they are over a metre and bursting with flowers.

Collecting and storing seeds is easy, so there is no excuse for anyone not trying. I always start by harvesting those flowers that I had marked early in the summer as the best blooms that I may want seed from. The photo below shows some of the many that I marked up. You can see why I mark them when they are in bloom, because you can tell nothing from the dried seed head. The final photo below shows the range of seeds I was collecting. From left to right:

• Dutch Marigolds
• Ordinary Marigolds
• Pink Trumpet Vine
• Jasminium

The seed collecting process for Marigolds is very simple, you just have to remember to mark up the best blooms early in the summer. There are 5 simple stages shown in the photos below.

1. select the seed head and snap off the stem
2. gently rub off the fuzz on top of the seed head
3. roll the seed head between your finger and thumb whilst gently squeezing
4. let the seeds fall into your other hand whilst continuing to roll and squeeze
5. let the seeds fall gently between your hands whilst blowing to remove chaff

The process for Trumpet vine is different. Here the seed develop in long seed cases that can be over a metre long. To access these seeds you need to gently squeeze them till they split and expose the seeds lying in rows within the seed case. I find it is best to release these seeds over a waiting envelope or they inevitably will blow away (which is exactly what they are meant to do in nature). The technique is shown below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

With Jasminium I use a similar technique, but in this case you have to release the seeds directly into the envelope or they just go everywhere. Again the technique is shown below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Once you have collected your seeds, place them into new white envelopes, label them with the species and year, then store them in a cool dark place till you need them.

Keep picking fruit. By now most of your fruits should be ripe or almost there. The trick to getting the most of your fruit is to beat the birds to it. Hopefully you will have netted most of your fruit, but if you haven’t, the birds will be blessing you. You need to check your fruit every day and pick off anything that is ripe. Don’t try and leave all your fruit on the tree thinking that you will pick it all together when ripe. The birds will beat you to it every time. Birds know exactly when fruit is ripe as they have amazing colour sight far better than human beings. Whilst we only have three colour detecting cones in our eyes, birds have four and can see in ultraviolet so they know exactly by the colour when your fruit is ripe. The photos below show an example of my daily fruit picking. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Taking care of your roses. Roses grow wonderfully well in Spain if they are looked after properly. This means plenty of water and feeding at least three a year. We are now about to see the late September second flowering of roses. For this to be successful you need to give your roses a deep watering (in addition to your normal regime) once a week. Also you need to give them the last feed of the year. If you do both these things now you will be well rewarded. The first photo shows an action packed deep watering in progress, whilst the second shows one type of rose feed you could use. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Kerry’s olive tree. Regular readers of this blog will remember that my friends Kerry and her husband Glynn had inherited a mature olive tree when they moved into their new house. They foolishly accepted my advice that it should be reshaped and cloud pruned to give their garden an interesting focal point. Under my technical direction Kerry and Glynn helped to reshape the tree into what at first looked like a tree blasted by lightning.

Despite Glynn’s threats and Kerry’s tears I assured them that all would be well. The photos below show how the tree is developing nicely and we will be able to reshape it in the next few months. I will keep you abreast of progress; I am just glad they have called off their lawyers. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Tango the lonely blind Labrador has been framed. What happened was this. I came out one morning and one of my large standards in a big pot had been smashed. I knew straight away it was the chickens as I found feathers all around the smashed pot. When I confronted Cruella (my wife), she denied everything and said her girls would never do something like that. But I knew it was just more intimidation as part of their Just Stop Watering (JSW) campaign. The photos below show the smashed pot and the damning feather evidence. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Anyway she insisted that under the UN Chicken Rights Legislation we must follow due process and have an identity parade and a trial. The whole thing was a set up and Tango didn’t stand a chance. The identity parade included Tango and a fat chicken called Bertha (who Cruella said had a protected characteristic and should not be body shamed). Tango was of course picked out.

The whole trial was then conducted in chickenese and Tango was refused legal aid and an interpreter; I tried to help but I only know chickenese for “get out of that bloody flower bed”. The end result was that poor old Tango was sentenced to a weeks solitary confinement in his kennel. When I told him the sentence he was very stoical and accepted his fate. His head did bow and a few tears fell from his translucent milky white eyes.

The first photos below show the judge and the jury, no wonder Tango was fitted up. The final photo shows Tango when I told him of his sentence: brave, stoical and accepting. The only good news is that I spent the week in there with him; I read him “Lassie” stories and we shouted anti chicken slogans till late in the night. We only stopped chanting when Cruella turned off the lights; I sprayed “Tango is innocent” on the chicken coop. Click on each photo for a larger view.

By now your garden should be in full bloom and this is probably as good as it gets in Spain. Although July has been hot we know that the heat of August will just knock the garden over the edge and begin the long slow roll into autumn. I know that sounds a bit depressing but it’s not. We gardeners love all seasons and a key part of gardening is constantly thinking and planning ahead for the next season and next year. Having said that don’t forget to enjoy the moment; stroll round your garden every day, talk to your plants, compliment them on how well they are looking and sympathise with the ones that are just losing their bloom.

Anyway, enough of this sentimentality, I think I am becoming the Emily Dickinson of gardening. There are lots of things to be busy with not least picking your best flowers for seed, trimming some key plants back and surprisingly netting the big fig. On with the show.

26th July 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

Judging the best flowers for next years seed. This is the time of year when you should be beginning to think of next years seed. I know a lot of you don’t garden from seed and instead prefer to go out and buy plants, which is fine, but growing from seed is so much more fulfilling as a gardener, and it’s free. Now that your garden is full of blooms, wander round and pick the loveliest with the best shape and the most vibrant colour as potential seed heads.

You now need to mark these blooms or you are in danger of just deadheading them when they die back. I wrap a piece of wide masking tape around my selected blooms which hopefully stops me deadheading them – though mistakes do happen. Later in the summer when the plants has fulfilled all of its potential I will then harvest these seed-heads for my next years crop. The first photo below shows my trusty masking tape ready to fulfil its role. The other photos show some of my chosen blooms in situ. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Propping up plants. Most annuals will need some propping up during their short but floriferous life. If you just let them flop over, then stems get broken, flowers get squashed and it all looks a bit messy. I tend to prop up plants in two stages. When they first begin to “lean”, then I will use canes to hold back individual plants. If you have closely packed your flower beds then usually one propped up plant will hold a number of others in place. Later, as they progressively need more propping I will tie them in bunches around a line of canes. But let’s not get ahead of our selves, at the moment just use canes to prop up plants. The photos below show my propping activity. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Making Dame de Noche flower again. Many of you will have Dame de Noche (night flowering Jasmine) as part of your summer garden. Although this plant is not what you would term good looking, its value is in its exotic night scent which would put to shame the best perfumeries of Paris. Located next to your summer dining out areas, the Dame de Noche will astound your friends with its heady, exotic scent that comes in pulsing waves throughout the evening. The reason for this exotic night scent is that it is pollinated by a tiny little moth.

However, your Dame de Noche will have finished flowering, so if you want that scent back for the rest of the Summer then you need to act now. To get the plant to flower again you need to cut it back by one third. The important thing is the one third bit. Cut back by one third, the plant (which is growing strongly) will know it has lost its seeds, but think it has time to flower and make more seeds this season. If you cut back by more than one third then the plant will know it doesn’t have enough time to make more seeds this season and instead will draw everything back to its roots.

Once cut back, the plant will come into flower again and quite profusely. This will give you that lovely night scent all the way from the end of August right through till October which is exactly when you want it. The photos below show my Dame de Noche before and after its little trim. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Netting the big fig. Regular readers of this blog will know that the last fruit plant I net each summer is my big fig (to be honest it’s not that big) but it needs a team of at least three or four to net it. Normally this has been an international event with previous years including teams from: Scotland, Northern Ireland, England, France and last years winners from “Wigan”. Anyway I had hoped that my idiot son and Cruella (my wife) would assist me but both refused claiming that as they were chicken royalty it was beneath them. I did try and net it myself, but I kept getting tangled up and falling over wrapped in net; much to the hilarity of the chickens.

Just at my moment of greatest despair my luck changed with a ring at my doorbell and there was my saviour, an itinerant Gypsy lady, Cathy Rose Lee who had camped locally and was now looking for casual work whilst her husband Ronnie was setting up his boxing booth. Cathy agreed to help me net the fig but first she insisted on telling my fortune in tea leaves. The photo below shows Cathy mid fortune telling; it turns out she predicted my drive needs tarmacing.

Once Cathy had read my fortune and I had crossed her palm with silver, it was straight to the fig netting. By this time Cruella had agreed to lend a hand as Cathy had convinced her that good fortune would follow for her and the chickens. If you have never netted a tree then there are five stages:

• Unrolling and halving the net
• Stretching the net
• Joining the two halves of the net
• Raising the net
• Tying down

We started very well with Gipsy Cathy and Cruella working in perfect harmony as a team. The first photo shows them both enjoying the net unrolling stage. The second photo shows that they broke into a little dance as they moved to the halving process. Click on each photo for a larger view.

By the time we got to the next stage of stretching the net they were both singing harmoniously an old net stretching work song; Cathy was singing in Romani whilst Cruella harmonised in Chickenese – it was strangely haunting whilst at the same time scary. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Joining the two halves of the net is always a tricky exercise even with an experienced team, so you can imagine I was a bit apprehensive about the next stage and envisaged lots of torn areas of net. However, surprisingly they did extremely well and injected lots of fun into the process and even indulged in some “twerking” dance moves as the first photo below shows. From the final photo you can see the air of satisfaction they both feel at a net well joined. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The next stage is raising the net and this normally requires a team of five; one in each corner of the net with me in the middle with the net raising stick. The importance of this stage cannot be over stated, one slip, and you have a tangled torn net stuck high up the tree. From the photos below you can see we started off rather badly and there was lots of shouting and swearing as both Cruella and Gipsy Cathy kept getting caught up in the net. But finally we raised the net with a mighty cheer. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Gipsy Cathy was so pleased with this stage that she insisted on having a series of triumphal photos that she promised to display beside her best Capodimonte collection in her caravan. Click on each photo for a larger view.

I am pleased to say that the tying down stage went off without any problems, which was a relief after all the drama of the raising the net. This stage merely involves pulling the net down tightly over the whole tree and then tying it down with string every yard or so to the lower branches. Although the whole tree isn’t covered right to the ground, it is usually enough to put off the birds.

From the photos below you can see that the mood is much more relaxed with Cruella prefering an upright stance for tying down whilst Gipsy Cathy preferred to sit on the ground. When I asked if she was ok down there she said “don’t mind me luv, I gave birth to all my kids under a tree at hop picking, so I’m used to it”. The final photo shows the triumph of a job well done. Click on each photo for a larger view.

It is the height of summer and we are all really busy in our gardens, the work is endless, the heat relentless, the days long; as if it couldn’t get any worse, the idiot son has returned as “Chicken Boy”. I am too weary to explain now, let’s get on with the gardening and I will explain later.

18th July 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

Deadheading. The glory of summer is to see your borders and flower beds packed with flowering waving annuals, especially if you have grown them all from seed. I know I have said it before, but if you haven’t grown from seed, then try it, it will give you a whole new perspective on gardening. However, if you want to maintain that lovely packed flowering look all summer then you need to go round your garden and deadhead on a daily basis. The photo below shows one of my borders packed with flowers waiting for their daily prune.

All flowering plants need to be deadheaded otherwise they will produce one or two flowers and go straight into seed production. By deadheading you are removing the viable seed which forces the plant to produce more flowers and hence more seed. To deadhead flowers, don’t just chop off the flower head, if you do you will leave a useless piece of stem that will invite disease. Instead grasp the flowerhead in your hand and then with your other hand run your secateurs down the stem until you meet a lower group of leaves, and cut here. This will encourage the plant to throw another side shoot and flower from this point. Another deadheading technique you can use with multi flowering plants such as Osteospermums is to use hand held side shears to crop off the old flowers. Both techniques are shown in the photos below. For a larger view click on each photo.

Finally, don’t forget to prop up and stake plants that are beginning to flop. I will be covering this in future posts, but below you can see my mini sunflower already propped up with a broom handle.

Thinning fruit crops. If you have a heavy crop of fruit on a tree then you need to make a decision about thinning the crop. Thinning is simply removing a number of fruits to ensure that the tree does not begin to drop the fruit itself because it is in distress at a heavy crop. Another good reason for thinning is to ensure better size fruit. I always think it is better to have a slightly smaller crop with larger fruits, than a large crop with smaller fruits. I tend only to thin my persimmons and probably peach. I do not bother with figs as I tend to crop them on a daily basis. The first photo below shows me reluctantly pruning out healthy persimmons, whilst the second shows them on their way to the compost heap. For a larger view click on each photo.

Netting fruit. If you have soft fruit trees, and you want to retain the fruit as opposed to fattening the birds, then now is the time to net. I have a range of trees and plants that require netting. The photo below shows: fig, persimmons, and peach all prime bird fatteners. For a larger view click on each photo.

People often ask me when is the correct time to net their fruit? and the answer is simple, before it ripens. If you leave your fruit till it is ripe then the birds will undoubtedly beat you to it. Birds know the instant that fruit is ripe and they can easily strip a tree of all soft fruit in a day. If you are going to net your fruit then make sure you use a small mesh net as this is more bird friendly. Remember the key is to keep them out not trap them in your net. If you use a wide mesh net then birds will try and get through, and every morning you will be met by the sight of fat angry birds hanging upside down from your nets. The photo below shows the correct mesh size. Followed by a photo of a fig attacked by an enterprising bird even after I had netted. For a larger view click on each photo.

Keeping compost wet. It will soon be time for my annual “big compost special” post. And I know that you are all waiting with bated breath. But, in the meantime, it is important that you keep your compost wet in this very hot weather, otherwise you will find it full of ants and they can disrupt the composting process.. Every week, check your compost for ants and put your hand in to feel how dry it is. The idea is to use a watering can or hosepipe to keep the compost constantly damp, but not soaked. If you have two compost bins, one live and one resting then you still need to keep them both moist or the ants will just move to the other one. The action packed photos below show me watering both compost bins. For a larger view click on each photo.

Repotting plants. If you have plants that have become too big for their pot, or, if you have cuttings that have grown strongly and need a bigger pot, then now is the time to repot. There are two basic windows when you can repot plants. One is in January when everything is dormant and you can’t do much damage. The other is now when everything is growing strongly and the plant should take well to its new pot. Whilst both repotting windows are fine, I prefer now if possible as there is always the danger of overwatering in January when the plant has no growth and it’s roots will just sit and rot in the wet.

I have a little avocado tree that I have grown from a stone that now needs to be potted on to give it a bit more room. Eventually it will end up in the soil, but not just yet. If you decide it is time to pot on then ideally you want to disturb the plants roots as little as possible. This means preparing the right compost in advance and having the larger pot ready. When you are ready half fill the new pot with your compost. Then place your plant in its old pot into the centre of the new pot. Carefully fill around the old pot and tamp down the new compost so that it is firm but not compacted. Then holding the old pot twist it around and around to create a pot shaped space in the new compost. Once you have achieved this, carefully tap out the plant from its old pot and place it into the ready made hole in the new compost. If possible slightly tease out the roots before replanting. When finished water well and place in the shade for a few days. The first photo shows my little avocado about to occupy its new space. The second shows it resting in its new home in the shade. For a larger view click on each photo.

The return of Chicken Boy. Cruella (my wife) was beside herself with excitement as our idiot son was coming to visit for a week. Her normal excitement had been heightened by the fact that she had declared him her successor where chickens are concerned and expects him to inherit all her chickens. To this end she has declared him “Prince of all Chickens”, she gets upset when I call him Chicken Boy.

Anyway, they have both spent most of the week in the chicken coop conversing with the chickens in chickenese, as she and the chickens inaugurated him into the mysteries of chickendom. There was lots of chanting, squawking, smoke and some drumbeats (I didn’t even know chickens could play the drums). The end result was he emerged with a whole new set of pronouns, some chicken poo smeared on his face and a feather sticking out of his hair. From then on the whole holiday was spent with him showing off his chicken wrangling skills. The photos below show him in action. For a larger view click on each photo.

All good things come to an end and Chicken Boy had to go back to London to ruin the financial system of the City. Cruella meanwhile has sunk into the usual pit of despair that accompanies his leaving. For three days she has been sleeping in his bed and refusing to eat; declaring loudly that she will probably never eat again – I keep finding Mars bar wrappers under the bed! The photo below shows Cruella in the pit of despair. If you look carefully, those lumps in the bed is where she has sneaked chickens in.