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Yes, it is that time of year when everything starts to grow; buds are bursting, flowers are opening and seeds are being sown; what’s not to like. But, and I’m sorry there is always a “but” in gardening. Death is in the air and my Attenuata is nearing the end. I don’t want to dwell on things or become all maudlin so let’s get on with it.

18th March. Things I have been doing lately:

🍟 Refreshing pot compost. One of the most common questions I get asked in Spain is “why is my potted plant not flourishing ”? And the answer invariably is, “because you have left it sitting in the same old compost for five years you bloody idiot!” Think about it, if you leave plants in the same old depleted, virus ridden compost for years at a time, it is bound to make them sad. It is a bit like me giving you one meal that is expected to last for years – you would be sad.

You need to refresh the compost in your potted plants every year and it is a very simple process. There are two ways you can do this. Firstly some plants will have outgrown their pot and it is time to move them on to a larger pot. That is fine you just replenish all of the compost. But, the majority of plants are not due for repotting, but still need new compost, so you need to do it now or it will be too late in a few weeks.

You need to start by removing any stones or other mulches that you have put on top of the soil to stop the plant from drying out. Then using a trowel dig down into the pot compost as far as you can and begin to remove as much of the old compost as possible. Now, when you do this you will invariably cut into some of the small feeder roots, but that is not a problem as these will soon regrow. But try to be careful not to damage main roots and especially try not to skin the roots as this can let in a virus.

The photo below shows one of my potted standards ready for its annual refresh. The three trug system shown in the photo was invented by me. Trug 1 to take the stone mulch. Trug 2 to take the depleted old compost. Trug 3 for the new compost. The little pot is full of granulated feed and the stool is for me because I am old. When I excitedly told Cruella (my wife) about the three trug system, she said it was the stupidest thing she had ever heard and that I was a moron.

Once you have removed as much of the old compost as you can safely do, then add in a couple of handfuls of granular long lasting feed (the blue stuff). You can then top up with some nice new compost. Try and buy the best compost you can afford and do not be tempted by cheap shop alternatives. A little tip for the house proud gardener. Once you have topped up your compost don’t be tempted to just throw your stones or mulch straight back on top. Instead sieve the stones to remove all the small bit of debris that inevitably lurk there and may harbour diseases. The first photo below shows the pot ready to be refilled, whilst the second shows my patented wheel barrow sieving process (patent applied for). Just so you know Cruella wasn’t impressed by my wheel barrow sieving system either. When I ran in to tell her she just groaned and held her head in her hands. I told her even Bill Gates had to start somewhere she said yes, but he wasn’t an idiot.

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Once you are finished, stand back and enjoy your handiwork. If you listen carefully you will hear your plant sighing contentedly as it get ready to reward you with renewed vigour. The photo below shows one very contented plant.

🌱 Beginning to sow seeds. I try to grow everything from seeds or cuttings with only the occasional purchase, and even then I always take cuttings from any plant I purchase. Anyway, it is time to get going with your seed sowing. If you haven’t grown from seed before then it is very simple here in Spain. You don’t need a large greenhouse or heating etc. All you need is a simple little plastic 3 or 4 shelf greenhouse that will cost between 20-30€. Your seeds won’t be in there very long as nearly everything will need to be outside by mid to end of May.

To start you need to buy yourself a sack of good compost and some Perlite or Vermiculite. Mix the compost with the Perlite to create a nice airy free draining compost mix. Once you have your compost mix fill as many seed trays as you need. Tamp the surface down lightly and then water and leave to drain for 10 minutes. The photos below show the compost mixing process and the array of things you need to sow your seeds.

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If you are using shop bought seeds then read the instructions on the packet carefully. In some cases seeds may need to be put in the freezer for a couple of nights to mimic the conditions that starts their germination in the wild. In other cases you may be advised to soak the seeds in water for 24/48 hours. But don’t get freaked out as growing from seed can be fun.

Once you have the seed trays ready then you are all set to sow your seeds using the seed sowing tool that God made specially for you. Yes, that’s right if you curl your hand palm facing upwards you will see a nice long groove down the middle of your palm. Pour your seeds into this groove and form them into a line along your palm. Then, holding your palm over the seed tray, begin moving the hand with the seeds in whilst at the same time tapping with your other hand on the outside edge of your palm. As you tap the seeds will all begin to move along your palm in a uniform line till they gradually begin to fall on the compost.

Once you have sown all your seeds then you need to cover them with compost to the depth recommended on your packet. I use a simple method to do this using a small sieve that was purchased as part of child’s beach bucket and spade set. Filling the sieve with compost I just lightly shake it over the seeds till they are covered. The last thing to do is to place your seeds in your mini greenhouse or similar. But don’t forget to open this up during the day or your seeds will bake. The first photo below shows God’s seed sowing tool in action. The second shows my little sieve. The final photo shows the mini greenhouse which will be gradually filled over the next couple of weeks. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🧹 General garden maintenance. All good gardens need a certain amount of ongoing low level maintenance. The first and probably most important is weeding. Most weeding can be effectively carried out by regularly hoeing between plants. If you hoe every couple of days you will never have weeds as you will be denying them the chance to set seed. The only exception is weeding between growing bulbs. To weed between bulbs you need to get down on your knees and get your fingers in the bulb foliage to pull out the inevitable grass that grows in between. You can usually easily distinguish between the bulb foliage and grass just by feeling as the grass will have flat blades whilst the bulb foliage will have a more rounded feel. If you don’t believe me get out there now and try it.

The second most important low level maintenance is only necessary for those of you who have gravelled areas in your garden. I am sure you have put membrane down before applying your gravel and although weeds will seldom grow through your membrane, they will certainly grow on top of your membrane if you let them. Leaves and other general garden detritus will lie as a thin layer of debris on top of your gravel and gradually mulch down to a fine tilth that is an ideal medium for weeds to grow in. To overcome this you have to regularly use a garden blower or rake to remove this layer before it gets nicely settled.

The first photo below shows my intrepid bulb weeding activity whilst the second shows my gardening equipment ready to tackle the gravel. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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⚰️ Preparing for the death of the Agave Attenuata. Regular readers of this blog will know that I am currently enjoying the flowering of one of my Agave Attenuatas. Like the Swan that only sings when it is dying, the Attenuata only flowers after 20 years to promptly die. The flower stem of the Attenuata is a spectacular concoction that flowers from the base and gradually reaches to its tip over a period of a couple of months. The bees are attracted to this plant like no other. It actually drips nectar that runs down and drips off its stem. The only problem being that it then promptly dies.

I have been preparing myself for this death and have even sought grief counselling. In addition I am writing an opera to memorialise the Attenuata. I have always been a lover of Puccini so I am basing my opera on La Boheme and in particular the aria “Che Gelida Manina”. I of course play the part of Rudolfo with the Attenuata being Mimi. We duet most evenings just as the Sun is going down and I hold the Attenuata stem just as Rudolfo holds Mimi’s hand. I am proud to say there is not a dry eye in the garden. The whole garden weeps copiously at the Attenuata’s Mimi and when she enters into the coughing fits I sometimes break down and am unable to come back on for my encore.

it saddens me to say this, but when Cruella hears our singing she shouts out abuse such as “is that weed not dead yet” and on one occasion accused the Attenuata of being a hypochondriac saying “she’s just putting it on, there is nothing wrong with her…drama queen”. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night and dream of the Attenuata going to heaven. The photo below shows me and my lovely Attenuata midst duet.

I didn’t want to start this post with such a downbeat heading, and I don’t want to be writing a misery memoir, but to be honest I think that Cruella (my wife) is beginning to grind me down. Despite my best efforts at cheery gardening her wilful destruction of all my efforts is taking its toll. I outline below some of my recent efforts to mitigate her malicious activities, but to make things worse she is now manipulating the weather against me. I mentioned to Cruella last night that the garden was somewhat dry and I wish we could have a bit of rain. I should have known better, she instantly retorted “if it’s rain you want I am sure we can arrange that”.

Anyway, the results of my careless wish were visited upon me this morning. We are in the midst of a biblical deluge that would have swamped Noah and his family. The whole garden appears to be floating on a tidal wave. It’s so bad that even the Labradors are refusing to go out and dig up the lawn. When I complained about the rain to Cruella she mockingly replied that I should be careful what I wish for next time. The photos below give you a small picture of what’s going on. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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7th March. Things I have been doing lately:

🚜 Turning my water feature into a rockery. Long term readers of this blog will remember that I created a stream like water feature a couple of years ago. This involved much back breaking work collecting large rocks from fields in the local area, transporting them home and then hauling them into place. Cruella never liked this feature as she claims it was a desecration of an ancient burial site of her ancestors. When I pointed out she came from Wales she huffily said there was a Spanish branch of the family El Jones; but I think she made that up.

Anyway the upshot was that when I was away recently she conjured up an army of mice to eat the water proof membrane of my water feature. Despite my best efforts at patching up the mice returned every night to feast, even eating my patches. The photo below shows my water feature just after I had finished construction.

Having given up the battle with Cruella’s mice army I set out to creat a rockery in my destroyed water feature by planting up the stream bed and cutting off the stream thereby just having a water spout. The photos below show my construction efforts. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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The photos below show the final outcome. To be honest I am rather pleased with it as the new plants complement the existing plants that have matured since first construction. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🧟‍♀️ Cutting back the Solanum that Cruella touched. Regular readers will remember in my last post I told you how Cruella had touched my much loved Solanum and made many of the stems go black. I was then faced with the dilemma whether to wait and see if it could be revived in any way, or, to cut it right back to the ground hoping for new growth.

In the end we took the decision together (the plant and me). I sat beside her (all Solanum are ladies) for most of last Wednesday evening and we talked over the choices. She said she had dreams about a white light drawing her towards the compost heap. But, I pleaded with her not to go into the light. I said there was hope and if I just took out the blackened stems then she may recover. “No”, she said “I’m too far gone, there will be other plants and other days and you will soon forget me…you go on and enjoy your life”.

Sadly the decision was taken out of my hands. Despite an all night vigil she passed away about 4 in the morning. When Cruella asked why I was crying I told her I had lost the Solanum. She mockingly pretended not to know what I was talking about saying “oh, I didn’t know it was ill you must let me know if there is anything I can do to help” As she walked away I saw her rubbing her thumb and forefinger together, and black dust was falling on the floor. The photo below shows my lovely Solanum 3 years ago.

The photos below show the big cutback, whilst the final photo shows my hope for the future; she looks just like her Mum. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🍊 Tidying up citrus trees. Now on to some more positive stuff. By now your citrus trees should be starting into blossom, so it is time for you to do your annual round of tidying up to ensure you maximise your fruit crop. By removing suckers and opening up the tree to light and air you will get a bigger more healthy crop next year.

The first thing you need to do is to cut back any branches that are going to be too high for you to reach fruit. I use an extendable long reach loper, but you could use ladders and medium lopers. Just cut back anything that is just too high.

Next you need to get into the heart of the tree and cut back any suckers. Suckers are those bright green new shoots that will either come off the bottom of the trunk, or shoot up from branches at the heart of the tree. In most cases they are growing straight up. You need to remove these as they suck energy from your growth. Suckers are mainly a problem on old trees, but they can be seen on some young trees with a compromised graft at the base of the trunk. If you catch suckers early they can just be removed by pulling down on them sharply. Once you have removed the suckers open up the canopy so that you can see a good amount of sky through it. The photos below show suckers and their removal followed by the open sky letting in air and light to the centre of the tree. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🍔 Beginning to feed plants. Over the next few weeks you will need to start feeding your plants as they begin to burst into growth. It is important to remember that plants are like people, they don’t all like the same food, and some have real preferences. Over a year I will use a wide variety of feeds including long-term Rose feeds, but my mainstays are shown in the photo below. From left to right:

• General purpose liquid feed to perk up potted plants
• Specialist feed for fruiting plants
• Specialist citrus feed for orange and lemon trees
• Specialist orchid feed for potted plants
• Specialist feed for acid loving plants
• General purpose slow release granulated food that can just be scattered around

Hooray its that time of year again when I regale you with advice on the merits of composting. Remember that Coca Cola advert that appears on the television every Christmas, where a large truck with a picture of Santa Claus on the side goes through towns accompanied by the sound track singing “holidays are coming…holidays are coming”. Well that has been me for the past few weeks I have been singing “compost special is coming…compost special is coming”. To say this has annoyed Cruella (my wife) would be an understatement, so much so that I now mumble it under my breath, and when she says what did you just say, I reply “nothing”. I know it’s not much, but I count that as a small victory.

Anyway, on with the show let’s keep the excitement bubbling.

1st March: Things I have been doing lately

🧠 Why compost. All garden soil gets depleted over time and lose micro nutrients either they just get washed away by the rain or the plants take them up and the soil needs replenishing. Composting can help improve soil by adding back these nutrients and encouraging helpful bacteria that will break down and improve your soil. When added to your garden compost will help suppress weeds, lessen the need for chemical fertilisers, retain moisture and give you a warm feeling that you are doing a “green thing”. So no matter what your motivation, by composting you will be improving your garden.

👨‍🎓 How to compost. You don’t have to make a big deal out of composting and anyone can do it. Whether you have a large garden or just a little patio garden with pots adding compost will improve your garden. The basic need is to have a compost bin, or compost heap where you can store your compost. This can be very basic such as a little patch of your garden where you tip excess produce and cuttings etc. You could just have a heap in the corner covered by an old carpet, or if you like make a basic container out of chicken wire.  It might be easier just to buy a compost bin from a store and there are thousands of them, from basic one simple bin, right up to multi-bin purpose built composting systems.

As you would expect, I have a purpose built composting system consisting of two large bins with lid for easy access and doors that can be raised to allow me to get at the compost from the bottom. The photo below shows my composting system.

Now, I don’t want you getting compost bin envy, that’s not the idea. I designed these and had them built when we first moved to this house because this size garden calls for this amount of compost. There are fruit trees to be mulched, lots of beds that need seasonal replenishing, lawns that need some topping and all the planting and stuff on the potting bench.

🌿 What to compost. Now you can compost most organic material. Examples would be:

– all plant cuttings and mown grass

– vegetable trimmings etc from your kitchen

– old newspapers and cardboard

– hair and fur from your dog, cat, hamster or velociraptor

– twigs and branches up to about an inch thick

– eggshells, coffee grounds and filters, tea bags

– fruit, but not too many lemons or oranges as they will make the heap acidic

☠️ What not to compost. You must be careful not to compost the following:

– cooked food of any sort (this will encourage rats and cockroaches). This includes: meat, bones, fish, fat or dairy

– leaves or cuttings from plants that have been infected with disease or pathogens such as rust on Roses or mildew. If you compost these then you will infect the heap.

– dog or cat poo; and don’t even think of human poo.

🔐 The key ingredients of compost. Quite simply good composting requires four things:

1. Green items: that add nitrogen (grass, leaves etc)

2. Brown items: that add carbon (twigs, branches, newspapers etc)

3. Water: to keep the heap moist but not wet (don’t let it dry out, but don’t over soak it)

4. Air: oxygen is needed to encourage the composting process, so once a month you need to stir your compost with a fork or spade to keep the air circulating.

There is one other vital ingredient that you can choose to add to your compost heap, and that is “compost accelerator”. This is normally added as a powder which encourages the development of microbes in your compost heap and speeds up the composting process. The photo below shows all the key ingredients apart from air; but I assure you it is there. In the photo you will also see a special compost turning tool that I bought some 20 years ago. You just push this into your compost heap then the two little wings at the bottom of the rod come out as you pull up and the whole heap is lifted and turned. If you can find one, buy it.

🔭 What should  compost look like? A question I am always asked (I lead an interesting life). The photos below show the recent state of my compost bins. The first photo is the bin currently in use, and you can see all the ingredients I talked about above. The second photo shows the resting bin that I have just emptied. You can see from this photo that the bin is half empty, and this is because all the insects and beneficial microbes will have eaten stuff whilst making the compost. The final photo shows the finished compost; or as I call it black gold. Each of these bins will on average give me 20 wheel barrow loads of compost each year.

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🏎 Restarting an empty bin. Once you have emptied a bin then you need to begin the process of getting it going again. The first thing you need to do is to line the bottom with a layer of twigs retrieved from the live bin. This will give you a nice airy base to build upon. Now the gory part, when emptying your bin you should have unearthed a large number of Rose Chafer beetle maggots, which out of necessity you will have drowned at least half. Retrieve these poor mites from their watery grave and sprinkle them liberally over the bottom of your bin to provide a bit of an organic starter, (not forgetting to say a short prayer). The last thing is to sprinkle a little bit of compost accelerator just to get things going.

The first photo below shows the exciting potential of an empty bin. The second photo shows the twig prepared bottom of the bin. The final photo shows the drowned maggots about to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Getting in the compost bin. One of the great joys at the end of a hard days gardening of trimming and cutting is to get in the compost bin and tread it all down. What do you mean you’ve never done this, just me then. The photo below shows me (last summer) happily stomping up and down in one of my bins. Just after she took this photo, Cruella slammed the lid down and I was in there for two days. I must say they where the happiest two days of my life. She only got me out because the dishwasher needed emptying.

We are just at the start of the gardening year here in Spain and already things are warming up nicely with most plants moving into early growth. So if you don’t want to get caught out then there are some things you need to do now.

18th February. Things I have been doing lately:

🍊 Planting a new orange tree. Regular readers of this blog will remember that our idiot son helped me with some tree work when he was over for Christmas. One of his lumberjack tasks was to cut down an old orange tree that had already been heavily pruned back twice and had no more to give. The photo below shows the idiot about to take the chainsaw to the tree.

Now, if you are thinking of planting new citrus trees then you have to get them in the ground within the 3-4 weeks. After this time they won’t have enough time to set some new root before the heat of summer comes along. The important thing about replacing old trees is that you cannot plant back into the same spot as the soil will be depleted and the roots of the old tree will be everywhere in the ground.

The first thing you need to do is find a good replacement tree. Here you have choices. You can buy a tree that has been forced and is basically a lollipop with a very thin trunk and a round ball of new leaves at the top. If you are lucky a tree like this (if it survives) may produce fruit in 5 years. Or, you can buy a tree that is 3-5 years old, has been grafted on to good root stock grown on for a few years and has been pruned back to provide good fresh growth. The first tree will cost you about 20€, the second cost me 95€, but will provide fruit next year. Cruella (my wife) who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing has calculated the cost of oranges and has accused me of gross profligacy. The photo below shows my proud new purchase next to the remnants of its predecessor.

Start by moving your planting site at least 3 metres away from the old tree. In my case it was important that the new tree should be in line with the old tree so that I could pick up on my existing tree irrigation system. You then need to transfer the ground covering stones away from your new site into the old tree site so that it blends into your garden and doesn’t become an eyesore. The photos below show the magical transformation from the old to the new site. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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Once you have your site prepared then the really hard work starts. You need to dig a roomy planting hole which ideally should be twice as large as the root ball of the new tree. I have to be truthful with you I seldom manage this here as the soil can be rock hard in my orchard. So I think myself lucky if I can dig it big enough for the root ball. Once you have broken your back digging the new hole get as much good rotted compost in there as possible and top it off with some slow release granulated feed. Finish by planting your new tree, treading it in well to avoid wind root rock, and then place a cross stave low down the trunk to again stop root rock. The photos below show the best planting hole I could manage, together with the new tree in all its glory. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌱 Killing lawn weeds. I know not a lot of people have lawns in Spain, and technically speaking though I have four of various sizes, they are mainly the play areas for my Labradors to rampage around on a nominal grass surface. Nevertheless, whether your lawn is a bowling green or a prairie, they will all be suffering from broad leaf weed growth which really takes off from February to May. After May it is too hot and their leaves will shrivel, but by then they will have set seed and bequeathed you a whole new generation for next year.

I took a vow last Summer not to use a general weed killer on my lawns after I enjoyed the flowers of the low growing weeds including: Creeping woodsorrel and Asian ponysfoot. Instead I now use a selective weed killer that targets broad leaf weeds. It is important to kill off the broad leafed weeds as they will shade the grass out and leave you with a bare patch of lawn when they die back where their leaf rosette has been. The photo below shows the product and method I use together with one of the culprits.

🧟‍♀️ Cruella has killed my Solanum. Regular readers of this blog will know that my wife Cruella is a practitioner of the dark arts and does everything in her power to undermine my work in the garden. I only ever let her near the garden when I have to go away, and even then I leave her strict instructions. These have not stopped her wreaking havoc over the years including:

• Killing all the seedlings and cuttings on the potting bench
• Destroying my one attempt at growing tomatoes
• Allowing our Labradors to dig holes bigger than WW1 trenches on the lawn
• Summoning the wind to blow away my little mini green house
• Encouraging her army of mice to eat the lining of my water feature

I could go on, but it only makes me cry, so I will have to stop there. Anyway, I have had enough, she has killed my Solanum. And it is not just any Solanum, I was given this as a cutting and have nurtured it to become a 9 metre long behemoth which I have trained up wires to cover the walls of our outside kitchen. It flowers profusely all summer and is (was) a joy to behold.

I first noticed a problem after I came back from a trip to Florence where I had taken the idiot son in the hope of inculcating some culture into him. I absorbed the culture, he thought Florence was a great place to play Pokemon Go! Anyway as soon as I came back I noticed there was a problem with the Solanum. It just didn’t look right. Over the next few days the sturdy stems started to blacken, but only at certain points. Sometimes a stem would be a lovely green brown and then at the next stem junction one part would be black.

It turns out that despite my instructions (in writing) to Cruella not to actually touch any plants, she thought she would just stroke the stems. The results can be seen in the photos below. I have also included a photo of Cruella’s hand so you can see the problem. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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Yes, the big winter cutback is over and it’s not quite time for planting seeds. But there is still lots to do, and the first thing is to begin to make your beds ready for the summer. I of course mean your flower beds, this is not the sort of blog that would consider being so outré as to contemplate any other sort.

8th February. Things I have been doing lately.

🌱 Weeding and then thinning self seeders. Normally I would weed with a hoe, (no pun intended). But for the first proper weeding of the year you need to do as Jesus requested and get down on your knees. You need to get close to the soil, and using your trowel selectively dig out all the weeds and grasses that you have allowed to creep into your flower beds.

Whilst you are doing this thorough weed you need to begin the process of thinning out any plants you have allowed to self seed. Marguerites and Osteospermums are wonderful self seeders and I happily let them grow away during the Winter until it is time to do the great thinning. The photos below show my flower beds at the beginning of the the great weed and thin. Click on each photo for a larger view.

After thinning out the self seeders I then plant a few more of the plants that I have set aside. The idea is that I am creating clusters of plants that will provide me with early colour, whilst at the same time leaving spaces where I will plant my new seedlings such as Marigolds and Sunflowers when I sow in a few weeks time. The photos below shows some of my plant clusters. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🚜 Adding a compost mulch. Once I have fully weeded the beds and thinned out all the self seeders I add a thick layer of compost mulch from one of my compost bins. This bin is hopefully timed to be ready for Spring, when I use it for mulching the flower beds and providing a thick layer around my fruit trees. The photo below shows me mid mulch.

🌿 Dividing plants and planting out cuttings. Once you have prepared the beds you can consider planting out any cuttings that you have ready, and also looking for some of your existing plants to divide. Dividing plants is an easy way of getting free plants. The only thing to remember is that if you have a plant that is thriving and is ready to be divided, then make sure you plant the new divided plants in a similar environment. If it is thriving in shade then plant the new plant in shade, and vice versa if in full sun.

I have lovely Kaffir Lilies that thrive in quite deep semi shade, including the front wall of my garden which faces North. These plants are slow growing, with lovely deep red flowers, but if they like their environment then they will gradually plump up and be ready for dividing after about three years. Simply force your trowel down between the plant and take off a substantial chunk of growth together with a good amount of root. In total I created 5 new Kaffir lilies this year. The first photo below shows some plants that I divided last year now coming into flower. The second photo shows one of my existing plants ready to be divided, followed by some photos of the new plants ready for planting. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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The final plant to be put in my shadier bed is the much maligned Chlorophytum Comosum or Spider Plant. This denizen of many a shady bathroom comes into its own when planted out in a shady area as its striped leaves shine through the gloom. I plant out two or three of these every year from cuttings, but remove the mature plants after 1 year as they get too messy. The first photo shows the removal of last years plants as they head to the compost heap. The next photo shows the strong roots you get from cuttings after a few months. The final photo shows the Kaffir Lilies and the Spider plants ready to illuminate a shady bed during summer. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌻 Planting new purchases and taking cuttings. Sometimes you will have a gap in your planting that you can’t fill from your cuttings or seed. Or, you may have a problematic area of your garden where existing plants have failed. In my case I have failed on a number of occasions to successfully grow anything up an arch which is in full sun. My latest attempt is to try Stephanotis. I have purchased two plants ready for another attempt.

The secret to buying plants, is where possible don’t, just grow your own or take cuttings. But if you do buy plants, then you need to do two things. Firstly, you need to take cuttings from your new purchases so that you get lots of free plants. Secondly, and very importantly, you need to get them in the ground and growing before the end of March. Here on the Costa Blanca, any new plants put into the ground after the end of March stand a high chance of being burnt off by the Sun before they get established, and you will have wasted your money.

The first photo below show my newly purchased plants waiting to be planted. The second photo shows the Stephanotis newly planted and ready to grow. The final photos show the cuttings being taken and ready to hopefully root and provide me with free plants. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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Regular readers of this blog will know that the last activity in my winter cut back is the reshaping of my big Bay tree. I reshaped the tree in question about 9 years ago by cutting out the main trunk and then trimming the top, bottom and sides to create an open donut effect.

This is a style that can be seen in various town squares in my part of Spain and one that I would recommend to anyone with a big shapeless tree. However, there is one drawback; the tree resents this and will harbour feelings of hatred and revenge for the rest of its growing life. Bay trees are the elephants of the gardening world – they never forget!

Contemplation and preparation. The task of reshaping the big bay is not only physically draining, but it also requires mental stamina and inner fortitude. For weeks both the tree and I know what is coming. I up my daily exercise regime and even employ methods of meditation and prayer. The tree for its part prepares by oozing sap from its leaves and encouraging huge infestations of Wooly Aphids.

The first two photos below show the big bay ready for the coming battle. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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The photos below show me contemplating the coming battle and with the various equipment needed. The tree hates these photos and has complained in previous years that I look like a big game Hunter being photographed with his prey. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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Day 1, let battle commence. There was a time when this battle would only take one day. But since I am almost 72 I have recognised the toll on my body so it now takes two days and enough pots of tea to sink a battleship. The main effort in day 1 is to trim underneath the tree to create a nice flat and level base. This is followed by trimming the bottom half of the sides. To achieve theses tasks I work from ladders and also a scaffolding platform using electric hedge trimmers and electric telescopic trimmers. As the tree has grown in height this is becoming progressively more difficult (or maybe I’m shrinking).

For its part the tree does not hesitate to fight back. I am regularly thrown off my ladders and scaffolding by whipping branches. My hands and face are lacerated by twigs, leaves and branches. But it’s worst trick is to drop hundreds of Wooly Aphids directly into my mouth as I look up to trim. In addition Aphids and leaves are dropped down the back of my tee shirt and into my shorts. All of this has the effect that I end day 1 looking like a medieval leper in need of curing.

The first photo below shows me beginning the process of shaping the sides, whilst the second shows the tree at the end of the first day. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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Day 2 pushing through to victory. The continuing effort in day 2 is to trim the top half of the sides flat, then to angle the telescopic trimmer to get at the top and cut it flat. After the sides and top are complete then it is time to do the really dangerous stuff. This involves going up a ladder and climbing into the middle of the tree and sitting on the stump where the main trunk used to be., whilst at the same time wielding an electric hedge trimmer. The purpose of this exercise is to cut away the inner branches and leaves to redefine the hole that forms the central part of the donut. On numerous occasions I have had to fling the hedge trimmer away from me as I fall ignominiously down the tree and onto the stones below.

The final stages before the big clean up is to use long reach telescopic lopers to trim off those pesky bits of branches that are still sticking up at the top. When you have finished primping the tree, clean up the bulk of the leaves and then leave the residue for about three days. After three days the rest of the fallen leaves will have shrivelled and dried and can easily be cleaned up with a blower or leaf rake. The importance of clearing away all leaves cannot be over stressed as, if left they will break down and form an excellent mulch for weeds in your gravel. Cruella has just looked over my shoulder at the last sentence and said I was pathetic and needed to get a life; I think she meant it kindly!

The first photo below shows me battling with the long lopers as I look for the perfect cut, whilst the second photo shows the tree at the end of day 2. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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The photos below show the newly redefined hole at the centre of my topiary donut and the tree a few days later after the big clean up. The final photo shows my statue of the Cheshire Cat returned to its pride of place at the centre of the tree. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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Thanks to Cruella’s (my wife) run in with the law this gardening blog is in danger of becoming a true crime drama. Like all descents into criminality this all happened so swiftly. You will remember from a couple of posts ago that the idiot son and I cut down a large Yucca and duly laid the cuttings on the pavement beside our garden wall. The procedure in our village is that you put out prunings and cuttings and then telephone the town hall’s contractor. They in turn will then come along and take it all away.

Having made the requisite call to the contractor twice, I assumed all was in hand. Unfortunately my confidence was misplaced as the Police duly turned up at my door and enquired why I was littering the street. I explained all, and they left quite happy. The next day two more different Police turned up and asked the same questions. Again I professed my innocence and they left only to turn up later when I was out to leave a fine of €50 in my post box.

Now the fine was bad enough, but the worst thing was that they had named Cruella on the fine documents and not me! The eruption of fury from Cruella was galactic. She called down all sorts of damnation on the town hall and insisted on going straight out to where the cuttings where lying and proceeded to do one of her ritualistic dances weaving in and out of the cuttings whilst casting spells on the town hall and the police.

The photo below shows Cruella as she finishes her dance with a final ritualistic flourish which involved spinning around on one leg before pointing at the object of her spell.

26th January. Things I have been doing lately:

🪚 Cutting back hedges. As I move towards the end of the big Winter cutback there are only a few major jobs to do, one of which is to cut back all of my hedges. I love hedges and I have planted them so that they all fight for the space to flower and survive. Over the Summer they knit together into a tight interwoven group of floriferous mayhem along the borders of my house. Currently I have the following fighting it out in my hedges:

• Plumbago
• Bignonia
• Bouganvillia
• Roses
• Mulberry
• Pomegranate
• Jasmine
• Solanum
• Lantana
• Pink Trumpet
• Hibiscus

The photos below show various aspects of my hedges after all the flowering has finished and just before I began the cutback. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The hedge cutting process is very simple. None of the plants are treated as individuals, instead they are all cut back to the same height and width so that they align with the railings on top of my garden wall and also with the edge of the lawn. Using a hedge trimmer I first square off the sides. Then using a chainsaw or long handled loper I cut the thick stemmed plants down to size. Finally using the hedge trimmer I square off the top and the outside edge facing the road. The photos below show the outcome. The hedge will quickly grow again to be up to 10 feet high and be flowering again in a month or so. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🌴 Cutting back Palms. I leave all the really big Palms to be cutback by a professional Palmista; It is important to know when to use professionals in your garden. However, there are a number of smaller palms that I will happily keep in shape. Amongst these is a stand of European Fan Palms that we have planted in a round bed in the middle of the path that leads from our front door to the front gate.

These Palms are ferocious self sowers so I start the cutback by taking away all the low eye poking projecting fronds using long handled lopers. Once this has been achieved I use an extendable long reach loper to cutback the fronds at the crown of the palm. Given Cruella’s recent run in with the law I decided that I would get her to separate the fronds from the stems and then neatly stack them in a large sack for disposal. At first she refused to take part as she does not like coming out during the day, but I explained to her that as well as being fined she has to do 36 hours of Community Sentence. I have not yet told her that her appeal against the fine has been upheld and she has been cleared.

The photos below show the Palms prior to their trim and after the cutback. The final photo shows Cruella serving her Community Sentence. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌳 Pruning Sago Palms. Lots of gardens in Spain have these slow growing and expensive Palms. I have two, a large multi trunk specimen, and a smaller version in a pot. For these Palms to look there best you need to prune them once a year to expose their interesting trunk. However, because these are so expensive you need to be careful that you don’t over prune. You should prune back the lowest fronds until you leave at least two rows of fronds at the crown. In this way you should guarantee that if anything like frost or wind damage happens then at least one row of fronds should survive.

The first photo below show the sago palm before its trim. The second shows me reaching in carefully with long handled lopers to trim off the unwanted fronds. The final photo shows the newly trimmed and neat plant. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🪓 Preparing for the battle with the big Bay Tree. The last job of the Winter cutback each year is my annual battle with the big Bay tree. I am already in training for this grudge match and I am also practicing meditation so that I can psyche it out. A full battle front report will be contained in my next post. In the meantime here is a photo of my adversary.

No, I’m not talking about the huge quantities of wine that Cruella (my wife) and I are consuming during the almost continuous lockdowns imposed on us all. What I am taking about is medicinal alcohol that you will need to cauterise and anesthetise your various cuts, wounds and general abrasions that your Roses will inflict upon you during the annual prune.

It is an interesting but disturbing fact that a number of gardeners die each year from sepsis of the blood caused by cuts whilst gardening. Now I don’t want to scare you but it is better to be safe than sorry. The photo below shows my little bottle of medicinal alcohol together with some heavy duty make up removal pads that I stole from Cruella. Before you start pruning give your secateurs a good clean with the alcohol to stop cross infection then keep the others for cleaning up the blood and gore inflicted by the Roses.

14th January. Things I have been doing lately:

🌺 Pruning climbing Roses. I have six climbing Roses, two are doing very well, two are doing middling, and two I had to move last Summer as they were getting too much sun. Pruning climbers is different to pruning standard Roses. With climbers you want to keep the height but lose the bulk. To do this you should start with about 6 strong stems growing from the roots (if you have more it looks messy). Let these grow year on year until you are happy with the height. Each year start by pruning out any diseased, dead or crossing side shoots. Once you are satisfied with the result then prune about a third off each side shoot. This process will encourage growth and flowering.

The photos below show my climbers before and after their annual prune. The last two photos show my most successful ones. You may not be able to tell the difference, but I assure you the plants know. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🚑 Pruning standard and shrub Roses. I have two beds of 20 mixed Roses. With standard Roses you can be much more severe. Do the normal stuff like cutting out dead, diseased and crossing stems then, depending on how long the plant has been in the ground you treat it in different ways. For the first couple of years just cut the plant back by one third. But thereafter you can more or less take it to the ground if you like. With many Roses the greater the cutback the stronger the growth.

The photos below show my Rose beds before I started with the annual prune and then after its completion. You can tell the difference if you look closely, as you will see my blood spattered throughout the beds. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌱 Pruning Trailing Lantana. Most people in Spain have Lantana in all its various varieties. But, I particularly like trailing Lantana, especially when it is planted in parts of the garden that are gravelled. It’s long trailing stems stretch out over the stones providing island beds of planting, whilst it’s long flowering season gives long term interest. When pruning trailing Lantana take it back by about two thirds. Ideally you should cut it back to forked stems, but there is no need for perfection, just go for it.

The photos below show one of my many Lantana in its overgrown and sprawling Winter state. The second photo shows the plant pruned back and ready for a spurt of Spring growth. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌵 Drastic pruning of Yucca. I have a number of Yucca in pots that are placed along with other plants along the back and side of my house. The recent high winds have caused chaos with these plants as they are continually blown over and end up damaging the other plants close by. Up until now I have just been picking them up on a daily basis and cleaning up around them. But to be honest this is a continual problem that I have tried to solve in the past by tying the plants to the balustrade close by.

it is now time for some drastic action. I have decided to lower the levels of all these Yuccas to stop them being so prominent a target for the wind. To achieve this I have sawn the top two thirds off each plant leaving them looking rather comical. But do not despair. As Yucca are canes they will begin sprouting new leaf spikes growth from each side of the sawn stem. I will then keep these at a reasonable hight to stop the problem happening again.

The photos below show some of the carnage that had to take place. I pretended that it was an episode of “Game of Thrones” and I told each plant Winter was coming! Click on each photo for a larger view.

🍁 Making leaf mould. By now you should have cleared up all your fallen deciduous leaves; especially if they are lying on your lawn as they will kill the grass. Don’t just throw your leaves away as they will eventually breakdown into lovely rich leaf mould which you can use as compost. The simplest way to do this is just gather up all your leaves and put them into plastic sacks. Tie the sacks at the top then using a fork pierce the bag a number of times to encourage air circulation. The sacks should be placed out of the way in a shady corner of your garden and left for about a year. You can then use them as a compost mulch or place them on your compost heap to break down further. The photo below shows my leaves bagged up and waiting for nature’s miracle to take place.

By now you should be at least half way through your big annual garden cutback. You should have firstly shaped up the overall structure of your garden, this should have been followed by pruning grasses and shrubs etc, then small trees, bushes and vines. We are now heading towards pruning Roses, hedges and the inevitable battle with trees, especially my large Bay tree. If you get all this done before any growth starts then your garden will burst back to life in the Spring with renewed vigour.

The next stage of my annual cutback has been given added piquancy by the supposed help from our idiot son who has been home for Christmas. Cruella (my wife) has been in mothering ecstasy since his return; she has fed him night and day like a giant cuckoo chick and has allowed him to drink all my best wine. Every morning we have to watch videos of him as a baby interspersed with old episodes of “Bewitched” (Cruella was the witchcraft and spells coordinator on the show).

Let’s get on with the gardening!

4th January. Things I have been doing lately:

🥭 Pruning figs. I have two fig trees. One standard that is now about 12 years old, and one which is an espalier I have been growing up a wall for about 6 years. The secret with fig tree pruning is to do it regularly otherwise the tree will just get away from you and produce its best fruits 20 feet in the air. Figs are produced on old wood so you need to be building a structure of branches that remain within easy reach.

Start off by cutting back any diseased or crossing branches. Next reduce the overall size to keep the fruit within your reach. You should be aiming for a wide but open structure that lets light into the centre of the tree. Pruning my espalier is different. Here I first take off all the stems facing into the wall. I then aim to train one stem along each of my espalier wires. The eventual aim with this fig is to cover the entire wall with trained branches bearing fruit.

The photos below show the figs before and after their annual prune. Don’t worry they will grow back vigorously and will be sprouting leaves in a few weeks. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🍊 Chopping down old fruit trees. Most Spanish homes have one or more fruit trees. Orange and Lemon are the most common. Often these trees are just left to themselves, never pruned, never fed and seldom watered. The end result is old, gnarled and unproductive trees that look messy and produce a few undersize fruits. If you want good productive trees then you have to do some work. I won’t dwell on this at the moment but will cover this subject in a month or so after all my fruit is off the trees.

However, one thing you should be doing now is looking to replace old and unproductive trees. I have one orange tree that needs to come out. I have pruned it hard in the past and got a few more years out of it, but now it has to go. In my efforts to remove the tree I was assisted by my idiot son who insisted on being in charge of the chainsaw. With old trees the first job is to take them down to a stump. Once the stump has been left I will drill into it in a few weeks and add “root out” to kill off any growth. In the autumn I will use an axe to remove the by then rotted stump. You can get the stump ground out but it is difficult to find people in Spain to do this.

It is not possible to plant a new tree into the same area as the old tree as the soil will be depleted and the roots will be everywhere in the soil. In this case I will move the tree planting area a few metres to the left of the existing tree, in this way I will keep the same linear structure in my orchard and utilise existing irrigation pipes. The new tree needs to be in the ground within a month before everything begins to heat up. The photos below show the idiot son playing out the role of lumberjack. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🪵 Cutting back the giant Yucca. I have a giant Yucca that needs cutting back every five years or so. When I originally cut it back it was over 30 feet tall, and, since it’s last cut back it is now almost 20 feet again. When you cut yuccas back you can be quite brutal as they are canes and will grow again relatively quickly. One of the benefits of keeping your yuccas a manageable size is that the lovely flower spikes will once again be at eye level as opposed to 20 foot in the air.

If you are cutting back a multi-stem yucca as this one is, then it is important not to cut all the trunks to the same level. Instead you should cut them at different levels as this will stop the new growth crowding each other and will create a more rounded pleasing plant. The photos below show the big yucca before its prune and then afterwards. The idiot son arrived after I had done all the work and insisted on posing with the pruned plant; for some reason Cruella (my wife) is convinced that he should give up banking and instead become a lumberjack model! Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌳 Pruning standards. If you have grown any plants as long stem standards then you will know by now that they are in danger of blowing over in the current high winds. The big problem with standards in pots is always the dilemma of whether you put them in plastic or ceramic pots. Of course ceramic is much better, but if the pot is not big and weighty enough then it will blow over and smash, which can be expensive. Plastic meanwhile is cheap, but, does not look as nice and can lead to roots overheating.

The solution is big weighty ceramic pots whilst keeping the flowering ball relatively small and tight. By this method you will stop wind rock on the pots. My two standards are either side of a side swimming pool gate, this area is both hot and can be windy. The photos below show the untrimmed standards and then in their final state. To keep them safe I prune 2 or 3 times during the growing season. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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As the gardening year comes to an end I want to wish all followers of spanish-garden.com blog a peaceful and blessed Christmas. I am sure that all of us are looking forward to having the sun on our skin and our hands in the soil.

God bless,

James McAllister

This post is really a continuation of the second stage of the big cutback set out in the last post. By now I should have been on to the third stage of pruning the Roses, but two things have been distracting me. Firstly, Cruella (my wife) flew home from our English house and her visit with our idiot son. Secondly, I spend most nights keeping vigil with the flowering (and dying) Attenuata mentioned in the last post (more later).

Cruella’s flight home was more eventful than normal. Usually she just flys straight home and lands in a tree in our wild wood were she perches till the morning. However, low cloud meant that I had to lay out a landing strip for her on the lawn with tea lights. Unfortunately she overshot and landed in the big mulberry tree. Thank goodness the tree is ok. The photo below shows the lawn as I laid it out according to her instructions, goodness knows how she missed.

15th December. Things I have been doing lately:

🪚 Pruning Dame de Noche. Everyone in Spain should have at least one dame de noche planted close to their sitting areas. The scent from this night scented Jasmine is intoxicating. However, to keep the plant flowering and providing you with that lovely scent, then you have to do a bit of pruning.

The pruning you should be doing now is the big prune. You need to cut the plant back by at least two thirds, just leaving a mound of shaped stems to form the New Years growth. The easiest way to do this is to firstly use electric hedge trimmers to take it back to create a basic mound of stems. Then using lopers get into the stems and prune out any that are dead or crossing .

The first photo below shows the dame de noche in its unpruned state. The second shows the lopers getting to work. The final photo shows the finished pruned plant. This will grow by at least six foot this year. (Click on each photo for a larger view).

🪓 Cutting back fountain grass. All grasses need to be pruned back heavily once each year if you hope to keep them looking their best. Nothing looks worse than a grass that has been left unpruned as the overall effect is of a floppy misshapen mound. By cutting back your grasses now you will ensure fast new growth with tall stems standing and waving in the wind. The photos below shows my fountain grass before and after its annual prune. (Click on each photo for a larger view).

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⚔️ Pruning back Pink Trumpet vine. Regular readers of this blog will know that instead of fully cutting down dead palm trees, I instead use them as a prop for climbing plants such as Trumpet vine. This gives you a tremendous aerial display of flowers in what would otherwise be an arid stump sticking out of the ground. Most of my Trumpet vines are in my hedges and they won’t be cutback till January as they are mixed in with other hedging. But in this case it is a stand alone plant which is part of the structural look of the garden. The photos below show the plant before and after its cutback. (Click on each photo for a larger view).

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🍷 Pruning grapevines. This year has not been a good one for my grapevines. To be honest they haven’t even got going so I was glad to prune them back as I feel guilty every time I look at them. With grapevines the technique is very simple just trim off all side shoots leaving just the main stem of the vine. Over the years the main stem of the vine will become very thick and strong. When the weather warms up in the Spring it will send out new fruit bearing side shoots.

I have three grapevines. The main one grows along the front of the house and I have trained it on wires. Unfortunately because this one grows so close to the wall it tends to suffer from mildew in late Summer; nevertheless I grow it more for ornamental purposes rather than fruit. The other two grow along the swimming pool balustrade and because of air flow never get mildew. You can see the before and after photos below. (Click on each photo for a larger view).

🧛 Scarifying the lawn. This time of year, when the grass has stopped growing, is a good time to deal with the thatch of dead grass that will impede new growth next Spring. I have a scarifying machine that is so fierce and noisy that I dread bringing it out each year. The machine has fearsome rollers with scarifying tines that scratch at the grass accompanied with slitting knives that cut into the lawn; it is like something out of “Game of Thrones”. I basically start it up then hang on behind it as it rampages around the lawn covering me in a thick layer of dust and grass. The end result looks like the Sahara desert, which I then finish off by hand scarifying. The photo below shows what I call my desertification process.

☠️ Tending to the flowering Agave Attenuata. I asked Cruella to take this photo of me with the flowering (but dying) Attenuata. It is just so that I can show her babies what their mother looked like in all her glory. I will keep you informed of progress; I wanted to post daily bulletins on our gates but Cruella won’t let me.

The above heading gives only a flavour of the excitement we gardeners have to deal with on a daily basis. But before I get you involved in the adrenaline rush of this post. Let’s remember what we are up to. Todays post covers the next stage of the big annual cutback. Remember there are five stages:

• Initial cutback for structure and shape (covered in the last post)
• Cutting back large shrubs and climbers including tidying up (this post)
• Pruning Roses and cutting back grasses
• Pruning back flowering hedges
• Tackling trees

5th December. Things I have been doing lately:

🐀 It’s true the mice have eaten my water feature. Regular readers of this blog will remember that I created a stream like water feature a couple of years ago. Up until now it has been happily flowing along. However, I made the mistake of turning it off whilst I was away as I did not trust Cruella (my wife) to keep it topped up. Anyway the upshot is that when I came back I topped it up and turned it on. Imagine my consternation when the water did not flow down the stream, but just disappeared.

I spent two weeks dismantling various parts of the water feature including moving more rocks than the slaves building the great pyramid. However, only to discover that whilst I was away some mice had been happily chewing on my pond liner. I confronted Cruella with the damage and demanded to know if she knew anything about it. She looked hurt at this suggestion and vehemently denied any involvement saying she knew nothing about mice; commenting as she left “I’ve only got my rats”. This first photo below shows early dismantling efforts to find the leak. The second photo shows mice damage.

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🌿 Trimming back Jasmine. If you have Jasmine you will know that it is a lovely plant for its flowers, perfume and climbing ability. However, if you are not careful, as your plant grows up, the top part will flop over and disguise the fact that it is killing the growth underneath. What looks like a healthy green plant can become completely brown underneath. In addition you need to make sure that Jasmine does not get into your gutters or under your roof tiles.

The first two photos below show the Jasmine folding over at the top and also threatening to get into my gutters and under the roof tiles.

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The next two photos show the Jasmine trimmed back and ready to continue flowering without tearing the house down.

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🍁 Clearing up leaves. We are not quite in the season of the big leaf clear up. However, it is important that you clear at least some leaves up as you go along. If you have a lawn then the fallen leaves will kill off your grass. Now I recognise that not many people have a lawn in Spain but you still need to clear leaves from gravelled areas as they will break down into a fine mulch and provides good growing medium for weeds. The two photos below show my early stage leaf cleanup.

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Now as you probably know leaf mould provides a lovely composting material which I will deal with in my up and coming big compost special; “be still my beating heart”. In the meantime gather up the leaves and store them in plastic sacks. All you have to do at this stage is prick the sacks all over with a garden fork and store them in a shady area of the garden. The photo below shows my entry in the best pricked sack competition 2020.

🙏 Death of my Agave Attenuata. The Queen of Agaves, the Attenuata is a favourite Agave here in Spain. It has lovely large green leaves and no spikes or teeth. The plant grows for about 20 years and then flowers. The flowering process is astounding. Suddenly the plants leaves begin to distort into a swirl at its centre, and then it begins to grow a flowering raceme (flowering spike) from its centre. This grows over the weeks and eventually will be over 2 metres long. The plant then flowers. However, the sad bit is that it then dies. The only saving feature of this death bed tableau is that as the Attenuata dies it is surrounded by its babies that all grow from its base. It is a moving scene and makes me cry every time I pass it.

The photos below shows the various stages of the Attenuata as it grows its raceme. Note the babies clustered around the base looking up at their mother, it is a scene reminiscent of the famous painting death of St Clare. I will not of course record the death; it would be unseemly.

Those of you who read my last post will know that Cruella (my wife) had failed to take care of the garden in my absence. The resulting row resulted in her staying in her room all night and refusing to come out. In the morning when I took in her normal morning cup of bone gruel she was gone. I knew she hadn’t been gone long because her perch was still slightly warm. Once I saw her favourite purple broomstick was missing I knew she had fled to England to seek consolation with our idiot son. This was confirmed later in the day when the booby trap she had left for me went off in the shed and covered me in dead rats and bat excrement, but at least there was a lovely note attached.

Moving on and putting aside Cruella’s antics it’s time to discuss one of the most important periods in the gardening calendar. During November and December you should be reshaping and bringing back structure to your garden before you begin the big January cutback. This means cutting back all that lush Summer growth that has now gone floppy and brown. It also means clearing the lines in your garden to give it shape, structure and order. In November you should concentrate on shrubs, perennials, paths and sight lines and you should also start to clear up leaves. Next month we will be looking at Roses, borders and splitting plants; but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

19th November. Things I have been doing lately:

⛅️ Cloud pruning Ficus. I have a number of cloud pruned plants in my garden. I do this because they give otherwise clumpy plants an eye catching structure that gives form to the garden and adds a point of interest. The Ficus in question sits at the edge of the drive in my dry garden and over the year will gradually get out of shape. As Ficus is relatively slow growing this once a year haircut keeps it in shape.

The first photo below shows the Ficus in its overgrown state. The second shows it newly reshaped. Don’t ask me what the shape is, I call it “Venus at rest” Cruella calls it fat lady with a big bosom. I deliberately expose some of the trunk as it is a lovely white colour and it glares out in the Sun. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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🦜 Tidying up Bird of Paradise (Strelitzia). This plant is a Spanish garden favourite and can be found in most gardens growing in a large clump. To keep this plant looking its best you need to periodically remove outer stems and dead growth. This along with regular deadheading will give you a plant with year round interest that adds real structure to your garden. The first photo below shows the Streletzia in its overgrown, floppy and generally untidy state. The second shows it mid prune, and the final photo shows it standing upright as a real garden statement. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

🛏 Putting Canna to bed. Now is the time to cutback your Canna to ensure the rhizomes (ugly bulbs) can begin to swell during the Winter ready to burst with growth in a couple of months. Apart from a bit of mistreatment by Cruella the Canna are basically left to die back so that all the goodness from the leaves can be drawn back down into the rhizome. Once this has been achieved they should look like the photos below. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

Once they are in this state the trick is to cut them back to the correct size. If you cut them back too short right to the ground then heavy rain would mean they get waterlogged and rot. If you cut them back but leave the stems too long, then they will still think they can grow this year and will try to put on foliage which in turn will deplete the rhizome for next years flowering . The correct “Goldilocks” length is about 4-6 inches. Which will tell the plant flowering is over for this year and still leave the stems long enough to stop water logging. The photos below show the correct lengths. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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🐲 Dealing with brutish Oleander. Although Oleander is one of my favourite plants, left to itself it just becomes an unshapely brute which adds no real structure or form to your garden. Here in our village of Campoverde in Spain most of the gardens have clumps of Oleander. But they never see the best of the plant as it is just left to grow into an amorphous shapeless lump that only gets noticed when it flowers. Kept shapely the Oleander will provide form and structure to your garden even when it is not flowering.

I have two Oleander in different areas of my garden. I planted both of them about 8 years ago and they have been sitting there slowly but surely growing and flowering. Then suddenly over the last year one of them turned into a brute overwhelming a small border of Aeonium Schwarzkopf, whilst the other proceeded to flop in an unsightly manner. The first photo below shows the brute overwhelming the poor Aeonium, whilst the second shows the Fosbury Flop. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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The photos below show both plants cut back. I know this looks cruel, but by doing this at this time of year you will allow for new growth and subsequent flowering next year. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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🌳 Reshaping the Californian False Pepper. There are not many trees that you reshape at this time of the year, but the false pepper is one. This is another plant which is quite common in our village. In my garden the false pepper provides a real statement as it draws your eye down the drive as you enter our property. In most gardens these can be allowed to grow into what looks like a Weeping Willow. But in my case it is too close to the swimming pool and it’s long tendril like stems get whipped about by wind and cover my swimming pool area in thousands of tiny leaflets.

To overcome this problem I had the tree professionally pollarded last year and now intend to maintain it in an attractive weeping form, but without all the attendant mess. The first photo shows the tree getting ready to get away from me and become a messy giant once again. The second photo shows it pruned back. I know it doesn’t look quite right, but give it a couple of weeks and it will be lovely again. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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🌿 Adding to the compost bin. As I walk around our village I see numerous bags of garden waste left out for the local Ayuntiemiento to collect and recycle. Yet strangely the same people who leave garden waste out for recycling will happily drive 5 miles to a garden centre to buy bags of compost for their garden. By getting yourself a cheap compost bin you can recycle most of your garden waste and turn it into lovely compost that you won’t need to buy. I am not going to go on about composting here as it is almost time for my annual composting special post and I don’t want to spoil your excitement. The photo below shows one of my compost bins filling up with the all the prunings and cuttings from today.

What do you mean you didn’t know I had been away! I have been touring Italy with our idiot son. I visited all the famous sites in antiquity and I have seen more museums and cathedrals than would have been thought humanly possible. The idiot son seemed to be enjoying himself as well until I found out that all the time he was playing Pokemon Go, he told me “Pickachu” was Italian for lovely and I believed him until I looked it up.

Anyway leaving aside the splendour that is Italy, let’s talk gardening. I’m afraid it is bad news all round. I foolishly left Cruella (my wife) in charge of the garden whilst I was away for about a month. I left her implicit written instructions for every day of the week and we had a practice tour of the garden before I left. To be honest I blame myself and I should have learnt from her previous efforts . Who could forget the great tomato tragedy of 2018, or the desiccated plant debacle of 2019. The outcome from my absence is that Cruella has managed to destroy swathes of the garden. I have decided to detail just a few of her malfeasance below.

☠️ A possibly dead Solanum. Regular readers of this blog will know that I have grown this solanum from a donated cutting. I have trained it to majestically entwine around our outside kitchen and over the last few years it has been a plant superstar. The first photo below shows what I returned to find.

I have checked the stems and I think there is still life locked in there so I have cut back the branching tendrils. If nothing happens by Spring then I will cut it back to the ground to see if we can coax it back. The photo below shows my first cutback .

🗿 The potting bench massacre. When I left I begged Cruella to carefully nurture the cuttings on the potting bench. In particular I was proud of a Hoya that was coming on well along with a special Rose and a Plumbago. When I came back half the plants had disappeared. Cruella said there was a strong wind one night and they must have blown away! The first photo shows the potting bench before I went away, whilst the second shows the remnants moved into the Sun to recuperate after their period of neglect. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🐛 White fly encrusted Ficus. Variegated Ficus as most of you will know is very slow growing so any set back means it takes a long time to recover. When I left this little Ficus which is about 10 years old was resplendent in its variegated foliage. When I returned I found the worst case of “Ficus neglect” I have ever seen. If it was a child you would have reported its parents to the NSPCC. The photo below shows the plants sorry state after being feasted on by a plague of white fly.

🧟‍♂️ Seriously unwell Canna. Normally at this time of year Canna are dying back and all the goodness from the leaves is being drawn back down into the rhizomes (ugly bulbs). This is a managed process whereby you need to give them just enough water to see this process through. Too much water and they will rot. Too little and the leaves will dry up before they can impart their goodness to the rhizomes. The photos below show how well Cruella managed this process. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🐕‍🦺 Nero has dug up the lawn. Regular readers will know that we have two marauding Labradors who if left to themselves will happily take the garden apart. Nero the black Labrador has a penchant for digging which he is only allowed to practice in his kennel. I watch both dogs carefully and at the slightest attempt to dig I shout and everything stops. Cruella told me she didn’t notice him digging but did wonder why half the lawn was in his bed every night. The pictures below show only a bit of the damage marked in red. The wire mesh on the lawn is my feeble attempt to stop him digging elsewhere on the lawn. This cannot now be repaired till the Spring.

Whenever Cruella (my wife) wants to be horrible to me – which to be fair is quite often – she mentions my bald patch. In the case of most men this would refer to their receding hair, but in my case it’s the lawn. She knows that twice I have tried to repair the bald patch on my lawn, in both cases at great expense, but both have similarly failed. She now calls me Wayne Rooney. When I asked her why? She said we have both spent a lot of money on failed transplants and are ugly.

Now I know that not many people have lawns or any type of grass in Spain. And that those do have them are either mad or masochists. But you can’t beat the look of grass, the fun to be had feeding it, strimming, mowing, raking and scarifying and that’s just one week. So if like me you have a bald patch then in the words of Henry V “once more unto the breech dear friends”.

24 September. Things I have been doing lately:

Dealing with my bald patch. My past efforts at dealing with the patch on my lawn have involved using the very expensive “Kikuyu” seed. This is reputedly hardy and can stand anything. Unfortunately I did not get one blade of grass despite great expense, watering twice daily and being covered by fleece to protect the seed from birds.

For my new attempt I am trying a brand of proprietary ready mixed seed and feed all in one treatment. The starting point for any grass sowing is to make sure that it has a suitable base soil. In my case this meant sieving soil that I had stored from various digs around the garden. Once you have sieved an appropriate amount of soil, you then need to rake over the bald patch and sprinkle the sieved soil over the bald patch to provide a suitable base for the seed.

As I began to sprinkle my “all in one” seed and feed the birds began to gather like vultures surrounding a thirsty man in the desert. They even began to chirrup and whistle cheerfully like fat men looking forward to dinner. In an effort to ward them off both I and the marauding Labradors charged them. But all of this was to little avail as Tango is blind and couldn’t see them and Nero has crippling arthritis in one of his front legs so wasn’t very good at charging. the birds just hopped back a couple of metres and commenced the cheerful chirruping.

As a last resort I covered the seed with lightly sieved soil to hopefully hide the seed from the birds – who were watching my every move. I finished the whole thing off by hanging some old CD’s from canes and finally watering. I will let you know what happens. The photos below show my my assembled bald patch fighting equipment, soil sieving production line, and finally my CD’s waving bravely in the wind. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Shaping trees and bushes. You should always leave the really big prunes till January. But, If you want to keep your bushes and trees shapely, now is the last time you will be able to trim and prune this year. The benefit of trimming now is two fold. Firstly, you keep the major infrastructure parts of your garden intact and shapely which gives overall structure. Secondly, by trimming whilst there is still growth you ensure that if you over trim or create a bald patch then you will still have growth that will cover your mistake.

The alternative is that you trim later when there is no growth and you suffer the indignity of an over trimmed bald tree or bush all winter till next Spring’s growth arrives to hide your shame. In my case you also have to suffer the indignity of Cruella bringing it up at every opportunity. I have already been to counselling over her haranguing over the lawn bald patch.

I always start my shape pruning by bringing my Olive tree back into shape. I cloud pruned this a number of years ago and when it is freshly shaped it is lovely and a talking point in the garden. Many of you will have Olive trees and will just let them grow into shapeless lumps. Left to themselves these trees will look scraggy and untidy and eventually make a mess underneath as the Olives fall off. If you are not processing the Olives then I would advise you to reshape the tree to make it a visually stunning part of your garden.

The first photo below show my Olive tree just about ready for its twice annual trimming.

The two photos below provide examples not only of my prowess in cloud pruning, but also hint at my hidden artistic talent. I mourn for the career I could have had in fashion photography. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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After reshaping the Olive tree I tend to look down my drive to where a large Californian False Pepper and a Myrtle bush dominate the end of the drive. This view down the drive and on into the wild wood sets the overall feel of the garden for those either driving in or walking down the drive. If these two plants are left to get scruffy and overgrown then it removes much of the shape and overall structure of the garden.

The big Californian Pepper I had professionally loped a while ago to bring it back into my overall reach. The new growth is now sprouting like crazy both from the trunk and the top of the tree. So if I don’t get on top of it now then it will again be out of reach. The photos below show the tree before its trim and afterwards. Cruella claims she can see no difference; but as she can only come out at night it does prove problematic. I have provided a caption on each photo for clarity.

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Reshaping the Myrtle bush is all a matter of timing. It provides the forefront to a stand of Yuccas set behind it. The starkness of the Yucca spikes are a good foil to the rounded shape of the Myrle. It flowers profusely and is a real joy to behold. So you need to time the trimming so that you lose as little flowering as possible, but still have some growth to cover up any mistakes you might make.

As I walk down the drive towards what I term the “Technical Area” the Myrtle guards the entrance to this sacred place. The Technical Area is where the shed, potting benches, compost bins and water tanks are, and it is from this area that all of the garden eventually emerges as seeds or cuttings. In her usual disparaging way Cruella (my wife) calls this area the dump.

The photos below show the Mytrle prior to its trim and in all its proud glory afterwards.

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I know the above heading may seem slightly incongruous and doesn’t match the requirements of a gardening blog, but let me explain. Cruella (my wife) has for years despaired of getting me to come in from the garden at meal times. Over the years she has tried many options including: shouting loudly, ringing a bell, banging a dinner gong and even blowing a vuvuzela (at the time of the South African World Cup).

But now she has gone too far. She has taken up archery and now regularly fires arrows at me before every meal. I have become accustomed to the swish of air as another close miss whistles past my ear, or the thwock sound made by an arrow slamming into a tree I am standing beside. She has even perfected the technique used by Legolas in the Lord of the Rings, whereby she can fire arrows rapidly. Sometimes I will be cutting the lawn and suddenly I am surrounded by a ring of arrows rapidly thudding into the lawn.

Anyway she has gone too far and I am thinking of reporting her for attempted murder. The other day I was sitting at the spot where I rest between the far end of the garden and the shed. I use this spot to stop and think about what I am supposed to be getting from the shed; it saves time as if I go straight to the shed I will forget and have to go back to the beginning again. To cut a long story short, as I sat there innocently contemplating my mission to the shed, suddenly thwack an arrow went straight through my oldest (and best) gardening hat. When I complained to Cruella that this was attempted murder and she had gone too far. She merely smiled and said she was practising. The photo below shows me moments after the attempt on my life, (note the damage to my hat).

17th September. Things I have been doing lately:

🧎‍♂️ Gathering seeds. September is the time when you should be scurrying around checking all your plants for seedheads. Most plants will have set seed and there is a wide variety if you just look.

🌸 Margeurites provide the best and easiest way to get new plants. Instead of gathering their seed, just rub the seedheads between your finger and thumb and let them drop to the soil and just water them where they fall. Within a few weeks you will have lots of little seedlings popping up. Once they have at least four leaves then you can prick them out by easing them from the soil with a trowel. and repot them into trays. You can then plant these out in your borders in mid January and they will flower from May all the way through till December.

The first photo below shows my seed spreading technique. The second shows the lovely little seedlings, the third shows them being eased out of the soil and the final photo shows the 96 new plants I now have. Click on each photo for a larger view.

🌼 Grey Santolina. These are lovely drought tolerant plants that grow well in Spain and their small yellow flowers stand out against their grey foliage. To get seeds from these plants you simply cut off a number of former flowering stems. Take them to a table where you can sit and gently roll the seed heads between your finger and thumb, letting the seeds fall into an envelope for safe keeping . These can then be sown in trays in mid January. The first photo below shows the Santolina being harvested for seed. The second photo shows me sitting peacefully on a hot day harvesting the seeds. Note my new hat sitting on the table beside me – whenever Cruella comes near me I whip it off defensively. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🌻 Sunflower seeds. Regular readers of this blog will remember that after the great seed disaster of 2020 I was forced to plant an odd arrangement of things. One of the great successes of Summer was the Sunflowers. These grew magnificently high and flowered beautifully. A few blogs back I showed you how to cut the heads off and dry them in preparation for harvesting seed. After thoroughly drying the heads it is now time to harvest the seeds.

Using a fork pry the seeds out from the seed head into a bowl. It is important that the seed head is completely dry. Then using various type of sieves, sift them as much as possible to separate the seeds from the chaff. Once you have as many seeds as you want, place them in a plastic box and store them in a cool, dry, dark space. When you are finished place the seedheads out in your garden so that the birds can get the rest of the seeds that you don’t want.

The first photo shows my efforts at manfully prising the seeds out of the heads. The second photo shows my sieving efforts (Don’t tell Cruella, I borrowed these from the kitchen). The third photo shows the seeds boxed up and ready to be planted next Spring. The last photo shows the seed heads lying on the lawn ready to feed the birds. Click on each photo for a larger view.

At this time of year – as we move towards the end of Summer, I like to think about the shape and structure of my garden and whether there are changes I may want to make. I am fortunate in that I have a friend (David) who has a drone and is happy to fly this over my garden giving me excellent video and still shots of the various parts of the garden. I then use these to assist my decision making on any changes I may wish to make throughout the garden.

Unfortunately this year Cruella (my wife) decided that she would like to do this for me as she believes her flying skills may open up new business opportunities for her. The problem with this was that David’s drone takes much better pictures than Cruella. Also, Cruella is in the middle of her annual moult when she changes from her Summer colours and shape to her Winter mode which means she can only really fly at night. Anyway to cut a long story short out of fear of what she would turn me into (most recently a Sloth) I gave in and said she could have a go.

The first photo below shows Cruella in her Summer colours and shape. The second photo shows her in her Winter guise. The third photo shows Cruella’s attempt at garden photography.

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Needless to say I am sticking with David and the drone despite her threats. To be honest with you I made a good Sloth.

31st August. Things I have been doing lately:

🧩 Reassessing my garden. In garden design there is a saying I am fond of “structure is a function of purpose” in effect this means you should be able to look at something and from this know what it is meant to do. This is especially true of gardens. Your garden should be designed and shaped around you and your life. For example my garden is shaped around 5 distinct areas:

1. morning garden
2. afternoon garden
3. orchard
4. dry garden
5. wild wood

🌞 The morning garden. This is directly in front of the house and has Three small lawns, a path way leading to the front gate, two small water features and various islands of planting including trees and various plants. The purpose of this area of the garden is more or less ornamental. It is pleasing to the eye presents a nice area to have your morning tea whilst you sit on the Naya and read the paper. It is also the first part of the garden that guests see. This first and second photos give you a good overview of the garden design and planting structure, the the final photo shows you the Cheshire Cat sitting in the middle of my big donut shaped Bay tree. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

🐕 The afternoon garden. Is a different creature all together as this is dominated by a large lawn where the maurading Labradors used to run around. But since one is now blind and the other can hardly walk their activity on the lawn is more like a crazy fairground dodgem ride as they bump into each other and one or both of them falls over.

in addition to the large lawn, there is hedging, a stream water feature, and a large Mulberry tree with seating underneath. Separating the lawn from the tree area are two beds of old English Roses with various islands of planting in the gravel. The first two photos give you an appreciation of the planting and design, whilst the third shows you the sorry state of the lawn. In case you are wondering what the black things on the lawn are, these are severed burnt heads. Cruella leaves them there to warn off strangers! Only kidding, they are sunflower seed heads left there to feed the birds. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

🌳 The orchard. This is exactly what it says a collection of fruit trees. These include: Orange, Lemon, Fig, Olive and Persimmon. We use the fruit from all of these trees at various times of the year. The trees are always under review as they are of various ages and you need to plan ahead if you always want fruit.

In addition to the fruit trees I also vent my artistic talent by stacking up branches of pruned trees to make what I call wooden sculptures, but, Cruella calls firewood. The orchard also runs along side and frames the outside kitchen and presents a pleasing aspect as if you are dining in a bower. A large Dame de Noche sits beside the seating area and provides heady evening scents as you sit with your glass of wine. Don’t forget, you only ever need one lemon tree that is plenty. The photo below gives you an idea of where I will be putting a new tree later this year.

🐪 The dry garden. This small garden sits at the bottom of the drive on the right and is home to a collection of succulents, cacti, yucca and various other drought resistant plants. A small border of euoniums and an oleander separate the parking area from the garden. Even the smallest gardens in Spain are capable of providing you with an interesting dry garden by using a variety of leaf and stem shapes. The photos below show the dry garden. Click on each photo for an enlarged view.

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🌲 The wild wood. This is a large garden that is mainly left to nature. There are all sorts of creatures that inhabit this area and I have tried to encourage a varied eco structure by leaving fallen and cut down trees for insects and animals. In addition where trees have been cut down I have requested that logs be left in piles and these form excellent insect hotels for bees and many other insects. This area also has a Casa de Madera (log cabin) where guest stay when they are visiting. It makes a very pleasant abode and helps them to escape Cruella’s nocturnal howling and screaming. The photo below shows the guest accommodation and an overview of the wild wood.

⚒ Time for you to get stuck in. I hope these photos and descriptions will inspire you to take a fresh look at the design and structure of your own garden. As always if you want any assistance or advice just contact me. Also if you would like my friend David and his mighty drone to take aerial photos or a video of your house and garden then again contact me and I will put you in touch. David’s charges are very reasonable and the end result is always stunning. If you would like to see a video overview of my garden produced by David then go to YouTube and search for the following: “Spanish garden – a tour of a Summer garden in Campoverde”.

At this time of the year when the dog days of summer are long and hot, the potting bench turns into an orphanage. The only plants left on the bench are those orphan plants that have been left behind; not chosen, not wanted and even rejected. These consist of poor little badly grown cuttings, or those with misshapen leaves or just those who just aren’t ready to leave the shelter of the potting bench. It can be quite depressing to feel unloved and unwanted, and that is why for the past few years I have instituted a system of nightly sing songs.

Every night, at the end of the gardening day, and before the sun goes down, I wander down to the potting bench and sit myself on top of one of the compost bins to talk to the orphans. We start with me providing an update of how their past friends are doing since they were planted out in the garden. I always keep it upbeat telling the orphans that everyone is thriving and describing their friends new flowers. I never tell them about the losses or those who have just shrivelled in the Sun; there is no point in being depressing.

Anyway, after the daily update it’s straight on to the singing. I am sure it would be no surprise to you that plants prefer songs from the shows and musicals. They despise comic songs and for obvious reasons will never countenance anything from “Frozen”. As you would expect different plants have their favourites: Spider Plants love singing “the ugly duckling” including all the accompanying actions. Trumpet Vine love anything from “Oklahoma” and take great delight in bellowing out that line “…the corn is as high as an Elephant’s eye”. The Gaura that sits at the back of the potting bench is a bit of a Diva and insists on singing power ballads and makes us all cry when she sings “I will survive” We always finish the singing with “the sun will come up tomorrow” from the musical “Annie”, as everyone belts it out I drum my feet against the door of the compost bin to keep up the tempo; we call it the orphan’s anthem.

Our last thing before I go in is our prayer which we all say together:

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my roots to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord to compost make”

What do you mean you have never hard plants sing or pray, you need to listen more carefully. The photo below shows everyone ready for bed.

10th August. Things I have been doing lately:

✂️ Cutting back standards. By now your standards should have been in full flower for a while and will have begun to get straggly and untidy. It is time to give them a mid-Summer prune with the hope that you will get a second flush of flowering into September/October. The first photos below show a verbena and two Solanums needing a prune. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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The next photos show them all heavily pruned. I know this looks a bit drastic but they are all mature plants and they will all be back in full leaf soon. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🪓 Cutting back a large false pepper tree. Many gardens in Spain have Peruvian/Californian false pepper trees. These are large trees with a resemblance to a weeping willow, and which have long Racine’s which have tiny red berries that look like pepper corns. These are lovely trees but can be messy when the wind blows, especially around swimming pools. What a lot of people don’t realise is that you can be quite brutal in your pruning with these trees especially if you have let them get out of hand. The photos below show my lovely tree being pruned by professionals and the final outcome. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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These photos were taken about three months ago, but I haven’t included them in my blog so far because I knew that people seeing the drastic cutback would think I had killed the tree. But the false pepper is very robust and I knew it would come back. The photo below was taken last week and you can see the tree bursting back into life. In its new form I will let it take shape into its weeping format but then I will keep it pruned to shape. So the moral is if you have a false pepper tree then you can keep it nicely shaped as part of your overall garden design.

🧟‍♀️ Cruella is coming back. The party is over, the end is near, the nightmare begins. Regular readers of this blog will know that Cruella (my wife) has been at our English house for almost six months casting spells to ensure that our idiot son doesn’t get coronavirus. Well, now she is coming back tonight and the problem is that I tidied her bedroom whilst she was away. I only have a few hours to get it back to how she likes it – she lands on the lawn at midnight.

I spent all last night in the garden trying to replace the things I had changed in her room. So far I’ve only got 23 cockroaches, 11 black beetles, 2 dead mice, 14 worms and a fallen log. She will definitely notice that her snakes are missing and I have found it impossible to catch any bats. My plan is to tell her we were burgled. The photo below shows her room now. As a surprise I’ve put the cockroaches in her bed – she will be thrilled at my thoughtfulness.

My goodness isn’t it hot! Both the maurading Labradors and myself are melting. Our day consists of bursts of gardening followed by pots of tea and dips in the pool. What I haven’t mentioned is that poor old Tango (the blonde one) has gone blind with cataracts and keeps falling into the pool; luckily he knows where the steps are. Any way enough of this nattering, on with the gardening.

1st August. Things I have been doing lately:

🌱 Letting the grass grow. I know that technically God makes the grass grow – mind you he is never around when it’s mowing time – but I have decided to assist him by letting my grass grow longer. When I told Cruella (my wife) that I was letting the grass grow she got very angry, when I asked why? She told me that longer grass would make it difficult for her to catch the frogs she uses in her beauty cream.

Now I understand that not many of you have a lawn in Spain as they can be tricky in the heat. But for those of you who do, then it’s time to let the grass grow a bit longer. There are a number of benefits from this:

• It stops scorching over the Summer
• It encourages low growing wild flowers
• It helps pollinators as the wild flowers provide nectar
• It saves you having to mow in the heat

One of the delights of the longer grass has been the low growing and creeping wildflowers. The first photo below shows the tiny yellow flowers of Creeping Woodsorrel that greet me every morning but then disappear by lunch as they escape the Sun. The second photo shows something I had never seen on the lawn, but is now happily growing in bare patches under shade. This is Asian Ponysfoot (from the shape of the leaf). I would have missed both of these if I had kept the mower blade low. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🍊 Harvesting Figs. Regular readers of this blog will know that I love Figs and look forward to the harvesting season with great anticipation. The great joy of Fig trees is that once they get mature then they produce fantastic harvests. The photo below shows the first figs of joy.

The problem of course is that once the figs start then they come thick and fast. You need to harvest every day, preferably first thing in the morning when they will be at their juiciest. Figs keep perfectly happy in the fridge for weeks, but, try and use up as many as possible fresh; including sharing your harvest with friends. But if you want to save some for the future then dry them in the Sun. This is very simple;

• Cut each fig in half
• Place them on an open mesh tray
• Place them on a table in full Sun
• Cover them with a mesh cover to protect from birds
• Try and remember to bring them indoors at night

The photo below shows my fig preparation area in action.

After three days the Figs should be fully dried and you can them store them in a plastic box in the freezer for months. Now to assist you in this matter I have once again come up with a new invention to stop the ants devouring your figs as they dry. (See photo below). The main components of my new invention are orange juice bottles cut in half, filled with water and then with the table legs inserted . Once again I have great hopes of this device being stocked by Amazon.

✂️ Trimming Trumpet Vine. I have lots of Pink Trumpet Vine growing in hedges etc in my garden, and it is a great joy with beautiful hanging flowers. Another of the great joys of Trumpet Vine is the hanging seed pods that are left after flowering. These provide great interest in the Autumn, but for now we need more flowers. To achieve another flush of flowers go round now chopping off all the seed pods and lo and behold you will have another huge burst of flowers. The next lot of seed pods can be left on as these will provide the plant with interest for the Autumn season. The first photo below shows the seed pods ripe for trimming, whilst the second photo shows the newly trimmed plant. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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🦗 Spray Aphids. At this time of year you need to check your plants daily for pests such as Aphids. In my case this means putting on my glasses. Aphids and other pests start off very small and unnoticeable and till one day you have a biblical plague of them sucking the life out of your lovely plants. The first photo below shows my discovery of a new problem plague which I dealt with unmercifully with the methods in the second photo.

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🧟‍♀️ Cruella has a Makeover. Regular readers of this blog will know that Cruella (my wife) is a proponent of the dark arts which I call Witchcraft but she insists is merely another way of looking at things. Any way because of the recent problems caused by identity politics she has decided that in case of bad publicity she needs a new image. Together with a number of her friends throughout the world she has formed a new association called Witches Lives Matter (WLM). To launch WLM Cruella has had a number of publicity photos taken showing her in a sympathetic light. In one photo she is seen swinging on a swing that is garlanded with flowers and with a garland of flowers in her hair. In another she is sitting on a rug before an open fire cuddling three cute little puppies. The photo she has Insisted I use in my blog is shown below and is self explanatory.

The above heading could be about a really bad hairdresser and a disgusting snack. But no, the world of gardening throws up all sorts of funny things especially after the great seed disaster of 2020. I know I’ve mentioned it once or twice, but did I tell you I lost all my seeds this year. Anyway, the fact of the matter is that having lost all my seeds I have had to rely on cuttings and bought plants to stock my borders. This has brought a number of problems which I insist on sharing with you.

14th July. Things I have been doing lately:

🙀 Trying to save bought plants. If you buy plants from garden centres etc at this time of year and then plant them in full Sun, then you are mainly wasting your time and money. The Sun will scorch the roots before the plants can get established and all you will have left is a few crispy leaves. The photo below shows a poor Lobelia who despite my best efforts did not survive its scorching.

The problem is this. You buy a new plant you plant it in a pre-watered hole and then you water at night. However, the roots don’t have time to get down into the soil and as the water is close to the surface the roots turn upwards. The Sun comes out the next day and scorches the roots. You see the plant is in distress and you water again and the same thing happens. The only thing that will stop this cycle and give your new plant a chance is to create a compost donut.

A compost donut is a ring of thick mulch compost that you apply all around the plant just after watering. Lift all the foliage up and pack the compost around the stem and to a distance of about 6 inches. This will act as a barrier to the Sun and give your new plants a fighting chance. You will probably have to renew the donut every week as the Blackbirds will take delight in tossing it everywhere in their pursuit of insects. The photos below show operation donut in action. Click on each image for a larger view.

🌂 Shading cuttings. I normally take lots of cuttings in late Spring and then plant them out in early Autumn when they have decent root growth. But because I am trying to fill beds I have been forced to try and bring the cuttings on faster. This again was another mistake. Because of the fierce Sun, cuttings like the new plants (discussed above), do not have sufficient roots to withstand the heat. Because of this, and at great expense, I have developed a patented Cuttings Shade that is suitable for all potting benches. The photo below shows my prototype; extra bricks are available as plants grow, I call it my extension kit. I am hoping that Amazon will stock it.

🌼 Dealing with Sunflowers. One of the serendipitous outcomes of the great seed disaster of 2020 was that I planted some Sunflower seeds. I found an old packet of seeds that I had more or less ignored because, I had other things to grow, and they were all I had left. Well they didn’t disappoint they were lovely as you can see from the photo below.

After an excellent show of flowers I am now in the process of preparing the seed for next year. There are various methods of doing this, you can leave the head on and let it dry then harvest the seed. Or, you can do, as I am trying by letting the head partly dry then cutting it off and letting the whole thing dry off the stem. If you want to follow my approach then there are three basic stages.

• Wait till the outer petals are very dry and brown.
• Cut off the head with about 4inches of stem.
• Hang the head upside down to complete drying

At the end of this process you supposedly will have your seeds. I will keep you informed. The photos below show the three stages. Click on each image for a larger view.

🧟‍♀️ Cruella sends a warning. I was just on the phone to Cruella (my wife) informing her that I did not think it was appropriate for me to continue to include her in this blog. I was explaining that I wanted to keep it simply about gardening and I was worried about her advocacy of Witchcraft. I had no sooner uttered the words when a glass dish sitting on our kitchen island flew across the room and smashed on the floor. Our two maurading Labradors hearing the smash charged into the kitchen expecting to find food on the floor. Both dogs proceeded to skid around on the glass and yelping as they cut their paws. I rushed forward forgetting I had no shoes on and unfortunately joined them in this manic dance where we were all trying to get our feet off the ground, but only making matters worse. From the abandoned phone I could hear Cruella chanting Red Rum, Red Rum over and over again.

It was only after cleaning up the blood and the gore did I see a message cracked into one of our floor tiles (see photo below). Needlesss to say I have seen Jack Nicholson films, and Cruella will definitely be featuring in future posts