homesteading – Spanish Garden

Spring has sprung and I have been dobbed in by a Dove

Cruella (my wife) is at our English house ruining the life of our idiot son. I am in charge of everything here: the house, the car, Tango the lonely blind Labrador and the bloody chickens. I just ignore everything and garden all day, the chickens don’t get fed unless they ask directly, and I don’t understand chickenese. It was all going so well until Cruella somehow found out. There were consequences, but more of that later.

Spring is such an exciting time for us gardeners and there is so many things that we need to be getting on with.

15th March 2025. Things I have been doing lately.

Deadheading Aeoniums
Refreshing plants in pots
Reviving your lawn
Planting seeds
Dealing with a traitor pigeon

Deadheading Aeoniums. By now most of your Aeoniums should have finished flowering and it is time to tidy them up by a bit of judicious deadheading. The process is simple. Look just below the spent flower and you will see that the plant stem has started to thin and is noticeably thinner. The plant is naturally cutting off the flower as it no longer needs it. All you have to do is help it along, using your secateurs cut the stem at the thinnest point below the flower. The photos below show the process. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Refreshing plants in pots. If you have plants in pots then now is the time to refresh them. Over time plants can become untidy, pot bound and in need of fresh compost. Walk around and have a good look at all your plants in pots. The first thing to do is sit down and pull out all the debris, dead leaves and detritus that has built up.

Next, prune back any dead or dying stems and reshape the plant. Finally, most plants can only thrive for a couple of years in the same compost. Tease the plant out of its pot being careful of the roots then fill with fresh compost and gently ease the plant back into its pot. The photos below show a number of my potted plants all looking a bit bedraggled, overcrowded and in need of attention.

It is important to note that if you are tidying up Yucca and other spikey or spiny plants, then it is essential that you wear eye and hand protection. The photos below show what a difference a tidy up makes in restoring each plants self esteem!

Reviving your lawn. I know that not many of you have lawns in Spain, but those of you in the US and other parts of Europe are in love with your grass. But like love, if neglected it soon dies. And so it is with your lawn, Spring is the time to revive the love affair with your lawn. There are a number of things you should be doing:

rake out areas that are dead or dying
apply a selective weed killer
top dress with a specialist compost
feed with a specialist feed
reseed when the weather is warm enough in your area

The photos below show all of this activity going on in my lawn, with the final photo showing the lawn after its first cut of the season.

*I have to admit photos from this angle do flatter the lawn, there are a few bareish patches*

Planting seeds. Oh the joy and delight in planting seeds and creating your own plants. Not only is it cost effective; as you get hundreds of plants for a few Euros, but also you will really be gardening rather than just shopping for plants.

If you have never planted seeds before then don’t panic, it is so simple. Go out to the local Garden Centre or supermarket check out the packets of seeds and buy a few packets of the ones you like. Try and pick ones that are easy to grow and suitable for your local climate and garden. But better still, why not gather seeds from your garden this summer and start your own seed collection. The photo below shows some of my collection.

The key to success in seed growing is the growing medium you use. Pick the best compost you can afford, and make sure it is for seedlings. You can help your compost by making it as free draining as possible, so buy some vermiculite to mix in with your compost. The photo below shows the stuff I use.

Mix your compost and couple of handfuls of Vermiculite in a trug. Make sure there are no lumps in your mixture then fill up some seed trays. Finish by tamping down the compost in the seed tray to get rid of any air pockets. The photos below show the process.

When you have your seeds trays ready, then just follow the instructions on the packet. Most seeds are sprinkled on the surface of the compost then lightly covered with compost. The photos below show this process.

With larger seeds the process is slightly different. Most larger seeds need to be sown individually in 4 inch pots or cellular seed trays. Just fill the pots or cells with compost, water lightly. Then using a pencil or dibber make a hole about half and inch deep pop your seed in and pinch the top of the hole closed. The photos below show this process.

The final,part of the whole process is to put your new seeds somewhere warm to allow them time to germinate. This need not be expensive you can use a window ledge indoors or just buy a real cheap mini greenhouse, you will only need it for a few weeks. The photos below shows my first seeds planted and in my mini greenhouse. The final photo is four days later and God has worked his magic and I have lovely new plants.

Dealing with a traitor pigeon. Whilst Cruella is away I take the opportunity to show the chickens whose boss. This means no special treats, early bed times, and restricted exercise periods. As you would expect this has engendered lots of discontent. In the past the chickens have somehow got a message to Cruella (my wife) and I have been made to reverse my restrictions including having to publicly apologise to the chickens whilst they smirk at me.

Anyway, this time I had taken the necessary precautions to stop them communicating. All chickens had been frisked for phones, I changed the Wi-Fi password and taped over the ChickenCam Cruella had insisted on; I told her there was an electrical problem.

I had to put up with all their squeaking and frantic gesticulations, but I just point to my ear and shout “me no speak chickenese” it drives them mad. They have held meetings, protest marches and even sent Elsa to plead their case. The photos below show their attempts to protest.

But I held out and was really pleased with myself until a furious phone call from Cruella. She was literally screaming at me “what have you done to my girls” I pleaded ignorance, but it was no good, she knew everything. I tried to blame Tango the lonely blind Labrador, but to no end. The end result was that she insisted that I make it up to the girls. I had to put Elsa on the phone, they chatted away in chickense, in what sounded a very animated call. The end result was that the chickens had demanded reparations and I have been forced to give them grapes every day. The photos below show the humiliation.

I couldn’t understand how Cruella had found out about my neglect of the chickens, especially after all my precautions. Then it came to me, I had covered everything apart from the bloody Dove that Cruella has adopted. It seems I thought it was an innocent Dove, when all along it was a stool pigeon! Photo of the traitor below – I didn’t give it any grapes!

I prepare the garden for the autumn and Cruella holds a Chickens for Trump rally

Well it’s that time of the year again when we begin the slow process of winding down the garden for the year. However, just because the flowers have stopped coming and most of the fruit is now in, don’t think you can let up, there is still so much to do.

I am still working on my lawn , but as yet, it is not fit to be seen in public, maybe in the Spring. In the meantime I still have major chicken problems mainly involving digging, scratching and intimidating me by staring. But things have taken a strange turn as Cruella (my wife) has started holding chickens for Trump rallies! Ah well, more later, let’s get on with the gardening.

18th October 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

Harvesting the last of the summer fruits.
Autumn planting
Don’t forget these autumn jobs
Cruella holds chickens for Trump rallies

Harvesting the last of the summer fruits. Most of the summer fruits have gone now and we await the citrus fruits from December. But here in the Costa Blanca there is still a few fruits we can harvest:

Loofahs. I only grow loofahs for their cosmetic purposes. Once harvested and prepared they can be used as a skin defoliant whilst showering. Normally I make a small fortune this time of year selling loofahs to Cruella’s coven. They highly prize them for their ability to remove warts from their noses. However, the crop of loofahs this year has been terrible. The photo below shows my paltry crop ready for harvesting. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Neverthless, don’t let this put you off, loofahs are a lovely crop with lots of little yellow flowers and usually a crop of up to 10 loofahs per plant. Loofahs are simple to process.

When the pods are completely brown, dry and wrinkled (Cruella just looked over my shoulder and asked if I was writing about her); shake each pod and you should hear the seeds rattling inside. If so they are ready to harvest.
Using your secateurs cut off each pod leaving about 1 inch of stem attached.
Holding the pod upright, use your thumb to press against the stem and the top will pop off Leaving a neat hole at the top of the pod.
Turn the pod over and pour the many seeds into the palm of your hand. This is next years crop.
Once the seeds have been successfully harvested take the pod in both hands and gently crush it. This will cause the skin to crack and break open. You then just need to peel the skin away to reveal your lovely loofah. Store this in a drawer and each one can be used for about three months in your bathroom as a skin defoliant.
Lastly store all your seeds in a paper envelope and keep ina dark place till next year.

The photos below show this process in action. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Persimmons. Persimmons are a lovely juicy sweet fruit about the size of an apple normally, but this year, the size of a tomato. The birds love this fruit so you have to net and pick the crop daily. Luckily persimmon is one of those fruits that happily continue ripening after picking.

All you need to do is beat the birds to them every day, then just wash them and place them in the fridge. Use them daily, either eat them on their own or add them to your breakfast cereal, either way they are lovely.

The photos below show my persimmons happily washed and then nestling in my fridge ready for use. Spookily if you look carefully at the fridge photo you can see the face of Donald Trump smiling up at you. This is because Cruella (my wife) has purchased lots of Donald Trump chocolate bars which she uses in her “chickens for Trump rallies”. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Pomegranate. Pomegranates are really the last of my summer crops and I don’t really get many of them. In Spain, pomegranates are the most valued summer cash crop. Over the years I have tried many a routine aimed at retrieving the seeds to eat, but by far the best way is as follows:

Cut the pomegranate in half.
Hold the cut side down in the palm of your hand over a bowl.
Bash the round half of the fruit with a heavy wooden spoon
Let the seeds fall between your fingers into the bowl. Keep bashing till you have them all.

The photos below show my paltry crop and the process for retrieving the seeds. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Autumn planting. If you have taken some cuttings and you have grown them on, or if you have been to the garden centre and bought lots of plants, then now is the time to plant them out. The extreme heat of the summer has gone, but there is still plenty of warmth both in the air and the soil.

In the Costa Blanca we have a growth window between now and December when you can put plants in the ground or repot and you will still get some growth before everything more or less stops for the Winter. If possible try and stand your new plants in the area where you intend to plant them for at least a couple of days to see how they acclimatise.

My usual planting regime includes:

Watering thoroughly the new plants or cuttings the night before.
Digging the planting hole at least twice the size of the new plants roots.
Filling the planting hole with water and letting it drain.
Using Mycorrhizal fungi sprinkled on the roots (not essential but helpful).
Firming the new plant in with fresh compost and watering thoroughly.

The photos below show the planting process for some Swedish Ivy cuttings that I have been growing on for a couple of months. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Don’t forget these autumn jobs. In the rush to close your garden up for winter, don’t forget these two important jobs:

Feed all your plants in pots and maybe include a few of your favourites that are in the ground. By feeding them now you will be ensuring that they will still have some oomph (an old English gardening term) as they slowly subside into their period of non growth. In addition to feeding them add a little bit of Iron to each watering can just to stop them taking Chlorosis into the winter.

Lastly, don’t forget to take any nets off of tree or bushes you may have placed them on to save your fruit. Nets left on will definitely snare a few little birds as they search around for winter food. Photo aide memoir below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Cruella holds chickens for Trump rallies. Cruella (my wife) has always been interested in politics, but usually she has stuck to British politics. Lately however, things have taken a strange turn and she has started following USA politics in general, and Donald Trump and the Republicans in particular.

This mania all started when someone told her that Donald Trump likes chickens. This knowledge made her determined that her and her girls would do all in their power to secure Trumps election to the Presidency. No matter what I tell her, she is convinced that she will have a vote in the elections and that when elected Mr Trump will support chicken emancipation and universal chicken suffrage.

I am only telling you all this because it is radically affecting my gardening. Every morning she holds a chickens for Trump rally and they march up and down the garden singing “Born in the USA” and “Eye of the Tiger”. This is followed by Cruella insisting that all the chickens drink out of her Trump mug. I consistently refused and stuck with my tea till she sent Helga to stop me by sitting on my teapot. The photos below show the latest idiocy. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Seeds, seedlings, greenfly and other pests + a new big rat and his best friend the snake

Well summer is certainly getting going and what is left of my seedlings are growing well. All round the garden is looking ok apart from the chicken destroyed lawn. I was just settling down for a summer of steady gardening when all hell broke loose. I have a new big rat in the compost bin and this time he has brought a snake to back him up.

The presence of the rat and the snake has sent Cruella (my wife) into a frenzy of chicken health and safety; culminating in me and Tango the lonely blind Labrador having to mount night patrols. Anyway, more of this later, on with the gardening.

2nd May 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

another successful Open Garden Day
dealing with the last of seeds and seedlings
tidying up Bird of Paradise
keeping a look out for pests
keeping up with composting
dealing with the big rat, the snake and Cruella’s hysteria

Another successful Open Garden Day. Regular readers of this blog will know that I organise an Open Garden Day every year in my village of Campoverde. The basic idea is that some local people will open their garden for a day to the general public. Everything is free and all that is asked is a small voluntary donation to our Church’s work with young people. The photos below show me in action together with a look at the other gardens so you know what you missed. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Dealing with the last of seeds and seedlings. By now all your seeds should have germinated and most things should be in the ground in the next couple of weeks. However, I have been dealing with a few stragglers.

Loofahs. I love loofahs as they are such a joyous simple to grow plant with lovely yellow flowers and at the end of it all you get your own home made exfoliant. Loofahs are simple to grow. Just place a seed on top of compost in a four inch pot, push the seed down into the compost to the depth of your finger nail, and that is it.

Keep them watered and in full sun and in a couple of weeks after germination transfer to a 12 inch pot to grow on. The photos show the start of the seed process followed by the fast growing seedlings two weeks later. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Sunflowers. One of the other annual gardening events that I organise is the “Campoverde Sunflower Challenge”. This again is a fund raiser for the Church and is an idea you can perhaps consider copying in your area.

It is a simple process. For 5 euros I provide entrants with an envelope containing two Sunflower seeds (giant variety) and all the instructions on when and how to plant them. The instructions stipulate when the closing date will be and the measuring method. I send out monthly updates with photos of progress and the eventual winner gets glory and a mention in the local press.

To ensure there is no cheating, I change the Sunflower variety every year and I grow two test seedlings to ensure nobody sneakily plants too soon. In addition to the Sunflower Challenge why not try growing some mini sunflowers, they are a delight. The photos below shows my two test seedlings coming along nicely, followed by a photo of some of my mini sunflowers. Strangely the sunflower growing beside the minis came from the same packet, obviously a flower from another father – I will love her just the same. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Tidying up Bird of Paradise. Bird of Paradise (Strelitzia Reginae) is a very popular plant in Spain. Which normally can be trouble free once you get it flowering. People are always asking me when will my plant flower. It is simple, the plant itself can take up to 5 years before it decides to flower. Sometimes it is quicker in a pot as it does not mind being a bit pot bound.

My large stand of Bird of Paradise has reliably flowered for years. It is fed and watered at the correct times and it normally rewards me with a continuous flush of flowers from Spring onwards. However, over the last few months it has been curiously droopy and looked rather untidy. So it was time to go in and have a look. The photos below show my starting point. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Once established Bird of Paradise do not object to pruning. The simplest method when you are tidying up is to go round the plant cutting any drooping or diseased stems right to the ground. When I was doing this I discovered the reason for the overall droopiness. Something was rotting the stems at the base and proceeding up the plant. The photos below show my newly cutback plant together with the mysterious problem. I am still investigating, but any advice would be welcome. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Keeping a look out for pests. Don’t forget that as your garden begins to bloom so you will get a build up of pests. This is where you have to be clever and admit your age, it is time to put on your glasses! Most pest build ups start very small with just a few insects such as greenfly hiding under the odd leaf. However, if you don’t notice this it can rapidly build up to a major infestation which, whilst it may not kill your plant, it will make it unsightly.

The photos below show the need for me to put my glasses on sooner. You must treat these infestations as soon as you see them. I will leave the method up to you. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Keeping up with composting. As the summer progresses, so you will be continually cutting back and generating green waste. I have waxed lyrical many times in this blog on the benefits of composting. And I will do a “composting special” later in the year – be still my beating heart. But for now keep loading your compost up in layers and keep it moist and use an accelerator. Also make sure that you tread your compost down to keep it relatively compact with not too much air between layers. The photos below show my compost treading in action. I sing old composting songs as I work. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Dealing with the big rat, the snake and Cruella’s hysteria. It all started when I went down to the compost bins one morning and opened the lid. There staring straight at me was the big rat. My first impression – I have to admit – was that he was a good looking rat; big eyes and lovely eye lashes. As I quietly closed the lid both the big rat and I knew this was not going to end well for him.

In the past when Tango the lonely blind Labrador was young, and accompanied by his brother Nero, the big rat would have faced an untimely end. But given Tango’s obvious problems this was impossible so unfortunately the big rat had to be poisoned. I have nothing against rats per se. However, rats can introduce bacteria and pathogens such as Salmonella and Leptospira into your compost, and that is not good.

I set about my normal process of gradually poisoning the big rat, but, that was when I discovered the big snake. Standing by the compost bins one afternoon he shot out from the bottom of the bin door straight through my legs. A day later I found him sunning himself on the compost bin lids before disappearing into the bin. The photos below shows the big snake and an idealised photo of the big rat.

It was at this point I thought it important to warn Cruella (my wife) of the existence of the big rat and the snake. I should have realised this was a mistake. No sooner had I told her than she instantly flew into hysterics crying out “my girls, my girls they are in danger”. She then insisted that a comprehensive plan for chicken protection should be put in place.

This has involved proactively patrolling the compost bin area by Tango the lonely blind Labrador and me, every hour on the hour. She has placed leggings on all the chickens made out of tin foil to protect them from snake bites and little tin foil collars to protect them from rat bites. In addition she has asked me to dig a moat around their coop – I have refused. When I told her no to the moat she then fell back on her normal tactic of threatening to report me to organisations and authorities that she insists are real, but I know she makes them up. So far she has told me I am in big trouble with the following agencies:

ICCJ: International Court of Chicken Justice
BBC: British Board of Chickens
RSPCA: Royal Sociaty for the Prevention of Chicken Attacks
UNESCO: United Nations Economic Social Chicken Organisation
National Trust: Chicken Section
RCA: Royal Chicken Academy

When her various threats failed, she hinted that she may nominate me for a Chicken Nobel prize if I would just dig the moat. But I don’t even believe there is a prize for chickens, is there?

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