horticulture – Spanish Garden

The idiot returns, chickens net figs, I style Yuccas and sing to orphans

All of the above is true, and in that order. I know we are stretching it a bit as a gardening blog, but all I really want to do is garden, but other things keep interfering.

Our idiot son returned for his birthday weekend. Cruella (my wife) and her chickens had spent days preparing. There were banners, a specially commissioned song in Chickenese and a Haiku poem as he likes Japan.

Welcome, dearest one

The house wakes to your presence

Sunlight fills the rooms.

When Cruella told me that her girls were going to perform a special Haiku, I thought she meant Haka that the New Zealand rugby players do; I was looking forward to seeing chickens dancing and sticking out their tongues, you can imagine my disappointment. Anyway, on with the gardening.

19th July 2025. Things I have been doing lately:

Netting figs
Styling Yuccas
Singing to orphans as I clear the potting bench

Netting Figs
If you have fig trees then now is the time to net them. Even though your figs are probably not quite ripe, don’t postpone this necessary task as the birds can easily strip a fig tree of ripe fruit overnight.

If you are going to net your figs or other fruits, then it is important that you use the correct small gauge mesh netting. If you use a larger open mesh then this will become invisible to the birds, they will fly into it and get caught. When you come out in the morning to inspect your figs you will find a flock of fat birds hanging upside down and flapping. The photo below shows the netting I use.

I have two fig trees, one of which I have espaliered along a wall. My normal approach is to invite different friends around to assist with this task. But Cruella insisted that it would be a good bonding activity for her girls and their brother (the idiot son). Despite my protests that chickens could not net, she insisted her girls had been raised to do anything a man could do.

I netted the espalier fig myself and would have gone on to try and net the big fig myself, but Cruella saw me and insisted I was denying her girls a “learning experience”. Anyway the photos below show the espalier being netted.

The first part of netting the big fig is to measure out and cut the amount of net needed. Once this is done you need to join together the two halves of the net as most nets are never wide enough to completely cover the tree. The photos below show Cruella and the idiot boy in action. I was in charge of strategy and Cruella decided it was too hot for the chickens and they should remain in the shade.

***Cruella had already smothered them in sun screen***

The photos below show the measuring out stage followed by the joining together stage.

***The idiot boy trying to find the end of the net***

The next stage is hauling your net over the top of the tree without it becoming ensnared into the branches at the top. I have developed a technique over the years that requires two people to manoeuvre the net down the side of the tree whilst I hoist the middle of the net up using an extendable pole. The photos below show this process in action.

The final stage is tieing your net down around the tree to lower branches. The photos below shows the idiot son in action tying in, followed by a triumphant photo of me.

***5 years in the scouts and still can’t tie a knot***

***None of this would have been possible without my technical,expertise***

When we had finally netted and tied down the tree, Cruella insisted that we should have a party to celebrate her girls first time netting; I pointed out that they hadn’t done anything but she accused me of nitpicking or possibly a “hate crime”. Anyway the party photos are below.

***This was the cabaret the idiot boy doing his ventriloquism act***

Styling Yuccas
Those of you with Yuccas – and this means everyone in Spain – know that these can be useful, hardy, statuesque plants that can add height and interest to your garden. However once Yuccas get too tall or messy then they detract from your garden and end up looking like extras from those bad 1960’s westerns. It needn’t be this way. As Yuccas are canes they can be cut back and shaped to your desire and they will normally regrow from around your cut area.

Every 5 years or so I chop all my yuccas back to a manageable and interesting height. I then leave the cut plants for about 3 months or so till I start seeing regrowth. Usually there will be far more sprouting shoots than you require and some will be in the wrong place. All you need to do, is take your gardening knife, wander round the plant and choose the shoots that you wish to retain, those you don’t want just cut back cleanly where they join the trunk.

The photos below show where to prune and my various yuccas before and after their restyling. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Singing to orphans as I clear the potting bench

One of my saddest jobs as a gardeners is telling the plants that remain on the potting bench that unfortunately they won’t be going out in the garden. These are the orphans who have failed to be chosen, either because they are just not pretty enough or are just too immature. Now with the hot weather they won’t be able to be planted out.

I always start the talk the same way; I tell them they are “special”, and just because they haven’t been chosen doesn’t mean they can’t be happy. I talk about all their friends who are now growing in the garden and how they are getting on. Sometimes we cry, but that’s only to be expected, though I try not to break down in front of them.

I always end my talk the same way by telling them I have been proud to grow them, they haven’t let me down and God loves them for what they are. After my talk, and when everyone has dried their eyes, it’s on to the annual sing song.

This is my favourite part. I sit on the compost bin lid with my legs dangling over the edge and beat out the music to all their favourite songs. Mainly they like songs from the shows: Evita is one of their favourites as they like the drama. My absolute favourite is “Nelly the Elephant”, I bash this out really loudly and we all belt out the chorus. Cruella came round the corner and asked me why I was singing “Nelly the Elephant”. I explained it was our annual singing. She said “I didn’t hear any singing only you” I didn’t tell her you need a Soul to hear it.

Our finale is always the same song “The Sun will come out tomorrow” from the show Annie. It is always good to end on optimism. I kiss them all goodnight and slowly walk away. I postpone the compost bin till tomorrow!

I am gardening through all sorts of adversity and the chickens won’t go to bed

I know this is a gardening blog, and most of you will have little sympathy for my current animal problems. But bear with me I haven’t been able to blog for weeks because I have been overwhelmed by non gardening issues. All of this has been caused by Cruella (my wife) heading off to our English house to oversee the purchase of a new house for the idiot son.

She took off about three weeks ago. It was bad enough that she scorched the lawn on take off (new broom problem), she also left me in charge of all the animals. Amongst other things I currently face the following problems.

Tango the lonely blind Labrador can no longer walk properly or get up from lying down. This means I have to lift up his back end whilst he scrabbles to get lift off from the floor. We then comically stumble outside me half carrying him whilst he trys to maintain his dignity.
The bees are making wonky comb in one of my hives and I can’t find the Queen. All the frames are stuck together and the bees have made a large wax football in their hive.
The chickens have become truculent and won’t go to bed at night. They are demanding to be carried to the coop individually and kissed good night.

Now do you see my problems.; but don’t worry I am still gardening furiously every day.

22nd June 2025. Things I have been doing lately.

Cutting back dead Iris
Feeding and scarifying the lawn
Gently trimming fruit trees
Potting up Chillis
Mistreating chickens

Cutting back dead Iris. It is all over this year for Iris and if you have followed my advice you will have deadheaded the flower head and left the stems to go fully brown. If you have, well done, as you are guaranteed lovely flowers next year from your replenished bulbs.

All you have to do now is give a good compost mulch over the area previously occupied by the Iris. This will replenish the soil and prepare it for your succession planting. I will be putting Petunia And some sun flowers in these areas.

It is important that you thank them for all their lovely flowers, wish them goodnight and a safe sleep and promise them that God willing you will see them next year. The photos below show the process of saying goodbye to the Iris for another year.

Feeding and scarifying the lawn. I know not many of you have lawns in Spain but if you aspire to one, this is what you need to be doing now.

Firstly, set your mower on the very highest setting and don’t be tempted to bring it down till October. If you cut your lawn too short it will undoubtedly get scorched in the summer heat. Next you may need to give your lawn a very light scarifying with a rake. This is not the big winter scarifying and you should not use a machine. The aim is to stop any thatch developing and inhibiting new growth. Finally give the lawn a feed. The photos below show the process.

Gently trimming fruit trees. Trimming fruit trees is a controversial topic at this time of the year. Some gardeners would balk at the fact that you may lose some setting fruit. But hey ho we rogue gardeners don’t mind pushing the gardening envelope.

The basic idea is that all the old fruit is more or less off your citrus trees, you now have two main jobs. Taking off any suckers and opening the centre of the tree up to let in light and air. If you look at the two trees below you can see the problem. Their centres are congested and they have branches that are too high to properly pick fruit. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The first thing to do is open up the centre using a hedge trimmer or shears/lopers. The process is shown in the photos below and the outcome.

Potting up Chillis. The process of potting up seedlings is the same whether it is Chillis or otherwise. So if you haven’t grown some Chillis this year (although they are easy to grow from seed), don’t worry just apply the technique to all potting up. See description and photos below.

Place your plant inside its existing pot into the larger pot then back fill with compost. In this way you will prevent root disruption.
Once you have backfilled the new pot, ease the plant out of its old pot and gently firm it into the plant shape hole in the new pot.
Water the pot by standing it in a trug so that it can absorb water up through its roots.
If necessary tie the new plant up to a cane. Always tie in a figure of 8. First around the cane then loop around the plant this stopes the stem rubbing on the cane.
Stand the pot in the semi shade for a day or two, then get it out in the sun.

Mistreating chickens. At the start of this post I mentioned my chicken problem, it all comes down to the fact that they won’t go to bed in their coop at night, instead they insist on sleeping in a big huddle just outside the front door on the Naya.

When I told Cruella (my wife) about the problem she told me I was mistreating them and that they had to be carried to bed individually, sung to and then kissed on the head before being put gently into their place in the coop. I of course demurred and have developed my own technique.

This involves two stages. At dusk, when I find them in a huddle just going off to sleep, I brush them all awake by nudging them with a broom. They all then start to panic and run around I pursue with the broom and guide them all into the coop.

After dark, they have then formed a huddle by the door of their coop and are fast asleep. I then grab them one by one and stuff them through the coop hatch. I start with the largest all the way down to the smallest and as I push them in they fit together like one of those Russian dolls. The photos below show my technique.

***My approaching shadow installs terror before I stuff them up one by one.***

But don’t worry, I am not an insensitive beast; just to prove it I have taught the little white Dove to eat out of my hand.

Seeds, cuttings and chickens welcoming bees

I know the above title is a bit confusing, but all will become clear later. But in the meantime you need to be continuing to plant seeds and now you can also begin to take cuttings from your strongly growing perennials. Take action now, or you are doomed to continue buying expensive plants from Garden Centres which in many cases die within a few weeks. In the meantime I am getting ready to welcome my bees! and getting on with the gardening.

10th April 2025. Things I have been doing lately:

Treating for Palm Weevil
Finishing patching the lawn
Starting my plant feeding regime
Taking cuttings
Pricking out seedlings
Getting ready for my bees

Treating for Palm Weevils. The dreaded Palm Weevil has started flying now that the weather has got better. This large beetle lays its eggs mainly in Phoenix Palms and the subsequent grubs munch the trees to death. You should not be cutting your palms at this time of year as the beetle can smell a cut palm from a long distance. The photo below shows some of my many palms cut by a professional Palmista before the beetles were flying.

Because my palms are too large to treat at the crown I developed a different method of delivering chemicals to the crown. This involves drilling a hole diagonally half way into your palms trunk. Fill the resultant bore hole with proprietary weevil killing chemicals, and allow the sap to take the chemicals up into the crown and infuse all the fronds with killer chemicals. One nibble of your palm and the beetle is dead.

This is a simple method that once in place will ensure your palms are beetle free. All you need to do is keep topping up the chemicals every month or so, and once a year poke a steel rod in the hole to keep the scar open and stop the tree calcifying it over. The photos below show me in action.

Finish patching the lawn. If you have a lawn then now is the time to do any last minute reseeding on bald patches. I don’t know why I bother really, my lawn is now just a chicken playground. But anyway, if your lawn needs patching up just scratch and scarify the bald part. Add some top dressing. Then sprinkle some grass seed and cover with fleece. Keep the area moist and the warmth of the earth should do the rest. The photos below show my efforts.

Start your plant feeding regime. You should have already started your citrus feeding routine, and now is the time to start feeding other fruiting trees and shrubs. Don’t be tempted to think one size fits all, and that you only need a general purpose feed. Yes, a general purpose feed will do no harm, but it will not contain specific nutrients that are targeted at different plant types.

The photo below shows the variety of different types of feed that I use. In addition each watering can gets a “Glug” (old English term) of iron.

Taking cuttings. If you have a favourite plant, or just want to multiply your existing stock of plants for free, then now is the time to take cuttings. The cuttings you take now can be allowed to develop over summer on the potting bench, ready to be planted out in the autumn.

My first cuttings have been taken from Dianthus, Trailing Lantana and Little Pickles. See photos below.

An easy way to take cuttings is to go around with a sealable plastic bag and your pruning knife (never secateurs as they crush stems) and select non flowering stems. Take at least three cuttings from each plant by cutting just below a leaf or growth node. Place your cuttings straight into your bag to stop them drying out as you wander round.

Once you are back at your potting bench, make sure you have the following to hand:

good free draining compost with added vermiculite
a selection of sealable ziploc plastic bags (available in every supermarket)
short pieces of can cut to about six inches
rooting hormone powder or liquid (not essential but helps)

Fill 4 inch pots with your good free draining compost, water them well, and tamp down the compost to remove air pockets. Take your cutting, remove all leaves up till about the top two, holding your cuttings by the leaf, dip them into your rooting compound and then place gently into pre prepared dibber holes around the side of your pot (3 or 4 to each pot).

Push your little cane right into the centre of the pot and then seal the whole pot into your plastic ziploc bag. The cane will stop the plastic bag collapsing onto your cuttings and starting rot. Place your pots in the shade and leave them alone. They will have a mini micro climate so will not need watering till they get some roots and new growth. It is a good idea to open the bags every 3 days or so just to refresh the air, but only for a moment don’t leave them open. I like to breathe into them as I think a dose of Co2 might help! The photos below show the process.

Pricking out seedlings. You will remember in my last post that I have been sowing seeds. This should be a regular feature of every gardeners calendar whether you have a huge plot or a small terrace. The joy of growing seeds and seeing them developing is an essential part of being a gardener. Don’t be lured into huge garden centres to buy, at great expense, plants that you could easily grow yourself. Any way enough of. My ranting.

When seeds have sprouted and have at least two “true leaves”- discount the first two leaves and wait till there at least four or more. Then It is time to “prick out”, cue laughter, stop it. When you prick out seedlings you are basically easing them out of their seed tray and replanting them in individual modular plug trays to give them more growing room.

I use a pencil to gently ease out a group of seedlings, then separate them and holding them by a leaf ( if you hold them by the stem then you may damage the seedling), I carefully transplant them into watered and prepared plug trays. This can be quite an intense process so I tend to do it over a couple of days. Once the seedlings are rehomed, then keep them out of direct sun in a sheltered spot until they settle in and then gradually accustom them to direct sun. The photos below show the process.

Getting ready for my bees. It has been a year in the planning but my bees arrive later this month. I will be setting up two hives which will be a wonderful addition to my garden. I have been taking an online bee course, I have watched numerous YouTube videos and I am as ready as can bee (sorry about the pun). The photo below shows my hives ready for occupation.

*Cruella wants to turn our guest cabin (in the background) into a clubhouse for all her 20,oo4 girls*

When I told Cruella (my wife) that bees are mainly female she became quite animated and said that her girls would prepare a welcome party to help the bees settle in. I explained that wouldn’t be necessary but she started rambling about girls leaving home and the need to feel welcomed she eventually ended up calling me an unfeeling chauvinist and shouting girl power slogans at me.

Anyway the outcome is that she and her chickens. have been preparing banners and posters to welcome the bees, they have even started knitting little sweaters as gift as for the bees for them all to wear for the welcome barbecue. I will keep you informed of how it goes when 20,000 bees meet 4 chickens and Cruella.

The big winter cutback part 2. Cruella demands chicken workers rights

The big winter cutback continues, and this post covers the main jobs you should be doing in your garden right now. Remember, don’t delay as growth will start in late February and you will have missed the window to prepare your garden for summer.

All is going well with my cutback and I have managed to find a use for the chickens in the garden; Cruella (my wife) is not impressed. Anyway, this is what I have been up to:

19th January. Things I have been doing lately:

Pruning figs safely
Pruning grapevines
Cutting back ornamental grasses
Pruning figs safely
Mulching with chickens

A well maintained fig tree is a joy: it not only looks good, but it provides you with hundreds of juicy figs. Unfortunately the majority of figs trees in gardens in Spain are large bulky behemoths that are far too big with fruit that is impossible to reach. Maintaining your fig tree is simple. If you have a young fig tree (less than 7 years old), then just prune to keep the tree trim and with an open centre. If however you have a large tree, or one that you want to keep manageable then I would recommend pruning to a “pollard”. When pollarding you take the tree right back to a few key branches then let it grow annually from these knuckles. Unfortunately you may lose fruit for the first year, but thereafter it will be much better.

I have two fig trees one that is pollarded and one that is espalied. The photos below show both trees when they are in full leaf. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The important point to remember when you are pruning figs is that they will weep a very caustic sap from their pruning wounds so you must not attempt to prune until January or February when the sap will have returned to the roots. Even then it is best to wear a long sleeve shirt, gloves and eye protectors.

The photos below show both of my figs with their leaves off and safe to prune.

The large free standing tree was pollarded a few years ago so all that I need to do is to take back this year’s growth to the knuckles. Using lopers, and secateurs I cut everything right back to knuckle, but be careful not to take it right back or you will breech the “collar” of the branch where the next growth comes from. Leave a centimetre or two.

The first photo below shows the structure of the knuckle, the second shows a knuckle pruned, and finally the tree cutback for another year and ready to burst into leaf in about a month.

Pruning the espalier tree is different. I want this to grow along the wall on the wires that I have trained it. So the main stem I have stopped growing and want no more upward growth. Neither do I want growth at the back against the wall, or any growth that goes to the right, as I am espaling to the left. In this case I trim all the side shoots back to the lead branches. The end result is shown in the photo below.

Pruning grapevines. Pruning grapevines is very similar to pruning espalied figs. You need to take all the side shoots away and take everything back to the main vine. I have three grapevines. One grows along the front of the house and is mainly ornamental as it gets mildew each year because of its position against the wall. The others grow along wires attached to balustrades and therefore have lots of air flow and ventilation. See photos below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

In each case I just move along the main stem taking out any side shoots and taking everything back to the one strong vine. The photos below show the vines pruned. You may be interested to note that I am using the large Euphorbia at the end to grow the vine through, hopefully this will be a nice feature in a couple of years.

Cutting back ornamental grasses. You have to be determined when cutting back ornamental grasses. You might think “well they don’t look too bad let’s leave it this year”. But if you are lenient then this years growth will soon fallback into a matted mess, that will not only look untidy, but will hinder this years new growth.

Cutting back grasses is simple, just use your hedge trimmer or shears to cut right back to a small mound shape. The photos below show one of my my grasses before and after its trim. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Shearing Lantana. Lantana are a perennial favourite in Spanish gardens. It is a reliable and hardy shrub that produces a continuous flow of lovely little flowers all summer. I prefer trailing Lantana and these do not need much pruning, but to keep them in shape you should shear around the outside to keep them neat. The first photos below show my main Lantanas ready for a trim, whilst the second shows them brought back into shape. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Mulching with chickens. If you have a compost bin, (and if not, why not?), then now is the time to start mulching your flower borders and under trees with your compost. If you don’t have your own compost then buy some from a garden centre. The benefits of mulching is that you replenish the micro organisms in your soil and generally enrich and enhance your growing medium. The photo below shows my composting area with a full bin and one in the process of being emptied.

Normally I spread mulch under all my fruit trees, only to see the bloody chickens kick it all over the place. This year I had a great idea, instead of spreading the mulch I left it piled around the tree trunks and just as I hoped the chickens then spread it for me. The photos below show the chickens in action. Click on each photo for a larger view.

When I rushed in to tell Cruella (my wife) about my great idea, she said “you are exploiting my girls” and demanded reparations for slavery. I explained that they were enjoying it. Despite my explanation she stormed off furiously and called all the chickens together. Since then she has given all the chickens what she calls “slave names” and keeps muttering about the underground railway and heading north. As if all this wasn’t bad enough they have started chanting in chickenese what sounds like work songs. So far I can make out “Go Down Moses” and “Nobody Knows the Troubles I’ve Seen”.

Anyway the upshot of all this is that she demands I pay them a living wage. I agreed that they should benefit from their labour and promptly produced a plate of maggots from the compost. Cruella ran away screaming, but the chickens seemed pleased, if a little perplexed.

It’s time to sow, I sing to the dying Agave and have a bad Valentine’s Day

It’s warming up, there is a hint of buds and we gardeners are waking from our winter torpor, it’s almost Spring, and you know what Spring means – seeds! Yes, it’s time to start thinking about how you will fill your Summer garden with floriferous beauty, and there is no better way than to grow your own garden from seed. I know that lots of you love to rush off to the Garden Centre and stack your trolley high with all sorts of unsuitable plants. But think how much more fulfilling it will be if you can grow your own garden.

Now I am not being a purist, of course you can buy plants, but why not give seeds a chance (start with a couple of easy to grow packets) once you start it is addictive and may I say a lot cheaper. As you can tell from my enthusiasm I have already got things underway. I was so filled with the joys of gardening that I rushed out and got Cruella (my wife) a Valentines Day gift. Sadly it all went wrong as the chickens deliberately sabotage my efforts. Anyway on with the gardening.

24th February 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

Harvesting self sown seedlings
Sowing the first seeds
Harvesting and sowing Chilli seeds
Preparing for the death of Agave Attenuata
Regretting my Valentines Day purchase

Harvesting self sown seedlings. One of the best way to get your garden going in Spring, is to take a look around your flower beds and check for any self sown seedlings that your summer flowers may have left you as a gift. One of the most prolific self sowers in Spain is the Maragaritte Daisy/Osteospermum. These lovely long flowering Daisies will drop hundreds of seeds which by now will have formed into little seedlings. The photo below shows just one part of my garden with thousands of seedlings.

But the trick is not to leave the seedlings where they have self sown, instead you need to harvest them and pot them up to let them grow on a bit before planting them out where you want them. The photos below show me harvesting the seedlings by gently prising them out of the soil with a trowel before placing each seedling into individual seedling trays. Note the close attention from big Bertha. (she has reverted and is no longer known as Bert, it was something to do with the chest binders that Cruella bought from John Lewis). Click on each photo for a larger view.

***I have to cover the seedlings with glass as the Blackbirds will soon be digging***

Sowing the first seeds. There is nothing better than contemplating the seeds you harvested from last year and deciding which order you are going to sow them. The photo below shows my preparations and the delight of contemplating things to come. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Before you get carried away with sowing seeds there is some basic preparation you need to undertake. If you are sowing into pots or seed trays you have used before, then it is important that you thoroughly wash them inside and outside. The last thing you want to do is carry over viruses and pathogens that are lurking in the residue of last year’s soil. All that is basically required is that you use a powerful hose jet to wash away any soil residue. The photos below show some of my seed trays after their annual ablutions. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Once you are ready to sow your seeds then you need to mix a good compost (not from China shop) together with Perlite to form a nice free draining medium that will not leave your little seeds waterlogged. Most seeds mainly require sprinkling on the surface of your compost then covering with a light sprinkling of compost.

Once you have lightly tamped down the surface to ensure seed and soil contact, then you need to place your seeds trays in a light warm area such as a window sill, or greenhouse. Be careful of fierce sun as this will dry the compost out to quickly. I buy a cheap little mini green house and use it for 2 or three years and then discard and start again. You will only need it for a couple of months at the most. The photos below show my seed sowing activity followed by my seed trays resting in their new home. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Harvesting and sowing Chilli seeds. Chilli plants are a joy to grow as they are so prolific. I leave my chilli plants to fruit over a two year period with just a chop back at the end of the year. The third year I remove the old plants and sow new seed in lovely fresh compost. By doing this I am getting rid of the old tired compost and creating a whole new generation of plants. The first photo below show my tired old plants heading for the compost heap, followed by the ripe seed pods that I have left on the plants and which will form my next generation.
Click on each photo for a larger view.

Getting the seeds is very simple. Using a scalpel, or very sharp knife, slice carefully down the side of the dried seed pod and carefully tease out the seeds that will be there waiting for you. The photos below show my scalpel work, together with the gathered seeds. The final photo shows the seeds scattered evenly across a seed tray before being lightly covered with compost. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Preparing for the death of Agave Attenuata. Losing any plant is a dreadful experience for us gardeners. We tend them, nurture them, watch them grow day by day and experience joy when they flower. That makes it all the more poignant when you lose an Agave Attenuata.

These lovely plants are very popular in Spain as they are one of the few “unarmed Agaves”, by this I mean they neither have teeth or spikes so won’t stab or cut you. They also have a charming habit of creating lots of pups which eventually surround them like a loving family. They take a long time to flower (12-20 years) and like lots of Agaves, when they do, they die leaving only their orphaned pups to cope on their own. The photo below shows a family of orphaned pups who lost their Mum about 5 years ago.

*Eventually one of the orphans will go on to adopt the role of mother but it can take a long time. I think the one at the back right is shaping up to be Mum.*

Regular readers of this blog will know that I have been lucky enough to see a number of my Attenuata flower. It has always been a painful process made much worse by the mockery of Cruella (my wife) who constantly heckles me in my sorrow by shouting “it’s only a plant, get over it”. On one occasion she proposed what she termed “assistant plant dying” and said that both me and the plant should go off to Dignitas!

As always on these occasions I conduct myself with dignity and commit my evenings to sitting by the plant as it flowers. We talk over old times, when it was just a little pup and I reassure her that all her pups will be taken care of when she goes. The photos below show my cherished Agave developing her flower spike. The beauty of the flower spike is marred by the tragedy of her oncoming demise. Click on each photo for a larger view.

As her flower spike gets taller so she gets weaker, and this is when I start to sing. All Agaves have a tendency for classical opera, so I tend to sing arias mainly from Puccini and especially La Bohéme.

We start early on when she has accepted she is going. I hold her flower spike and sing “Che gelida manini”. As we progress she takes on the part of Mimi and I Rodolfo as she coquettishly sings “Sì, mi chiamano Mimì”. We both then finish the day with “O Soave faniculla” the pups act as the chorus and as she finishes on the famous high “C” we are all in tears. I am dreading the future. The photos below show us singing the first act, if you look carefully you can see the pups leaning into the chorus whilst visible signs of decay can now be seen on their mum. We shall sing the famous deathbed scene of Act 4 in a couple of weeks, in the meantime I am giving bereavement classes to the pups. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Regretting my Valentines Day purchase. As if things weren’t bad enough with my poor Agave, Cruella (my wife) had demanded that I make an effort for Valentines Day and get her something romantic. I racked my brain for days and eventually came up with the perfect present that was both practical, stylish, and suited to her personality. At great cost I bought her a new titanium based, multi positional short take off and landing broom. The photos below show this wonder of modern technology in both its extended long take off mode and its shortened take off mode.

Given that most of her current brooms are what you would term shoddy, I thought she would be delighted. She took one look at it and proclaimed “I wouldn’t be seen dead on that modern crap”. She stormed off in a huff and spent all of Valentine’s Day with her chickens murmuring darkly in chickenese whilst occasionally giving me black looks. The upside was that I could get on with sowing seeds!

The big winter cutback Part 2: Figs and Roses + Grass

Who knew that gardening could be so Rock and Roll; I always thought Guns and Roses was a stupid name anyway. If you have roses and figs, then now is the time to get them pruned back. Add a little bit of grass for you old hippies and we are really rocking. To think that Cruella (my wife) thinks that gardening is boring. Without further ado, let’s get on with the big cutback .

17th January. Things I have been doing lately:

Pruning Roses. People sometimes make out that there is a lot of mystique about the timing and methods of pruning back roses. But roses are very hardy and can take quite a lot of rough handling. The photos below show some of my roses ready for their annual prune. Click on each photo for a larger view.

It is important to remember that climbing roses are pruned differently to bush roses. With climbing roses I recommend running hedge trimmers lightly up the length of the plant just removing excess side growth without cutting the upward stems. In this way you will maintain height but get rid of bulk. The photos below show my climbing roses before and after their trim. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Now if like me you have lots of roses (I have 30) then pruning can be quite a time consuming process, so I recommend that you do it in two linked stages. First, be brave and get out your hedge trimmer or shears and just prune back all your roses to the required height – I recommend taking off at least two thirds of the height.

Second, get on your knees and prune each individual plant as follows. With bush roses the simplest method is to prune back by about two thirds to the nearest outward facing bud joint. As part of this process take out any crossing or diseased stems to leave a nice open centre to the plant a bit like a wine glass. The photos below show my roses pruned. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The more perceptive amongst you will note that the final photograph shows that you can barely see the pruned rose from the leaf debris and grasses growing through. I am sorry to tell you that this is when it gets difficult and when the real hard work starts. Oh and unfortunately you will lose a lot of blood. Using a pointed trowel you need to get under each rose and remove all the leaf debris and dig out the weeds and grasses. The rose thorns will get you no matter how good your gardening gloves and you will bleed quite a lot.

This is the important part so please pay attention. Sepsis though rare affects a number of gardeners each year. If you cut yourself – and you will – then it is important that at the end of your pruning blood bath you wash your hands and then bathe your cuts with an alcohol solution to ward off infection. The photos below show my lovely rose beds all restored and ready for this year’s growth. The final photo shows the all important alcohol to sterilise your many cuts. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Pruning fig trees. Most fig trees in Spain are allowed to grow into giant behemoths sprawling over gardens like something conjured up by Gandalf. Their fruit is often too high to harvest and they shade out other plants nearby. I have two fig trees: an espalier and a free standing tree. As a lover of figs both of my trees are cosseted. They are fed, netted and pruned at exactly the correct time, and in return they provide me with abundant fruit. My trees are shown below in their unpruned state. Click on each photo for a larger view.

You should only prune figs when you are sure the sap has returned to the roots as figs have a caustic sap which can inflict quite severe burns if you foolishly cut any branches during the growing season. There are many ways to prune figs, but whatever your chosen method there are two key elements.First, ensure that you have trained your tree so that you can easily reach the fruit at the height of the growing season. Second, prune to achieve an open aspect at the centre of the tree to let in maximum light and air.

The pruning method I have chosen for my free standing tree is to pollard it back to six main branches each of which have numerous stems during the growing season. For the espalier fig, I just remove perpendicular side shoots to encourage lateral growth along wires. The photos below show you both trees after their prune. Click on each photo for a larger view.

If you want to propagate your trees either to have more, or to give to friends, then this is the ideal time. Many of the branches you have pruned off will have buds just waiting to spring into growth. Choose some of the best of these; I always look for healthy strong branches with multiple buds at the end. Cut them back to about 30cm just below a growth node then dip the ends into growth rooting hormone (don’t worry if you don’t have this it probably will still work). Pot them up in free draining compost and leave them in the winter sun. With a bit of luck you will have some new trees in the late springtime.

The first photo below shows my choice of potential cuttings. This is followed by an indication of where to cut. Then the process of dipping into hormone rooting liquid. My free draining mixture one part compost to four parts soil is shown as an action photo of a trug. Finally my little cuttings ready to get going. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Cutting back Fountain grass. I have one large Fountain grass which unfortunately had died in the middle as most grasses will do over time. I split it just over a year ago and replanted 3 into my own garden and gave some to my friend Camilla who is making a new wonderful garden. Anyway, now is the time to cut back grasses. The simplest way to cut back grasses is just to use your hedge trimmers to gently trim around the plant to make a small mound shape. Do not be tempted to square the grass off (as Ayuntamientos have a habit of doing) this guarantees a short life before the centre dies back. By creating a mound you maximise the light and air to the plant.

The photos below show my little transplants before their cut back and finally how it should look after cutting. Each mound will get bigger each year until eventually the splitting process takes place again. Click on each photo for a larger view.

It’s time for the big winter cutback Part 1, and the chicken whisperer returns

Yes, it is that time of year when we gardeners have to get out there and cut everything back. Failure to take action now will mean that your garden will not fulfil its potential this Summer. Over the next few weeks I will be pruning, cutting back and generally getting my garden into shape for the coming summer. I will be working with the types of plants you have in your Spanish gardens, so just follow what I do over the next few posts and we can guarantee a lovely garden this summer.

Unlike most of you I have certain hindrances whilst doing my garden, namely: Cruella (my wife), her brood of chickens from hell, and as a special treat the idiot son has come home for a holiday and Cruella has declared him a chicken whisperer. Anyway, let’s get on with the gardening.

10th January 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

Over the next few posts I will keep you up to date with the big winter cutback, but this particular post will cover the following:

Pollarding Peruvian False Pepper trees
Pruning Sago Palms
Cutting back Dame de Noche
Pruning climbers
Dealing with the chicken whisperer

Pollarding Peruvian False Pepper trees: This tree can be found in many Spanish gardens. Its weeping willow type foliage and lovely little red peppercorn fruits provide an attractive tree that can grow up to 15 metres tall. However, too often the false pepper is allowed to grow into a huge behemoth that whips around in the wind and covers you terraces in discarded foliage and blocks your swimming pool skimmers. The photo below shows my tree before pollarding.

*Left to grow this tree canopy would double in size over the next few years.*

The secret to keeping the false pepper as a useful part of your garden landscape is to ensure that you pollard it every 5 years or so. Pollarding involves radically pruning back the main branches which reshapes the tree and encourages secondary growth that will stay manageable for a few years. When pollarding you need to use a chain saw or bow saw to cut each of the main branches about 6 inches from the base of the branch. By keeping the correct distance from the base of the branch you will not damage the branch “collar” which contains the growth instructions for the branch.

Luckily the idiot son was visiting so I persuaded him to help me pollard the tree. I had to promise him copious quantities of beer and Cruella insisted that I held the bottom of the ladder at all times. The photos below show the idiot in action with the final photo showing the finished pollard. Click on each photo for a larger view.

**I wanted him to use the chain saw but Cruella wouldn’t let him**

*The final pollard will last at least five years*

Pruning Sago Palms: The slow growing sago palm is another perrenial favourite in most Spanish gardens. These can be majestic if pruned correctly, but if just left to their own devices, they are just another green lump in your garden. There are two schools of thought on pruning sago palms. The first says that you must leave the fading yellowing fronds on the plant as they provide nutrients. The other says keep it pruned and tidy and if necessary give it a feed. I support the latter process and always prune mine back to two rows of fronds from the top. Two rows is important as if you left just one row and then these became diseased then you could lose the plant. I have two main sago palms; one is in the ground and the other in a pot. Both are shown below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

From the photos above you can see that both are due a trim. Using long handled lopers I gradually move round the trunks taking off rows of fronds until I am left with just two rows on each stem. The photos below show my handiwork.

The final stage in pruning the sago palm is to remove any pups it has thrown from the base of its trunk. These look like mini sago palms that are emerging, and you can pot these up, but that is for another days post. Today we just need to take them off to tidy up the plant. The first photo below indicates the pups circled in red. You just need to remove these with your secateurs or lopers and then the plant is left nice and tidy for the summer.

Cutting back Dame de Noche. The lady of the night which is a night scented Jasmine needs to have its final cut back now if you are to enjoy its lovely scent in the summer. You should have already cut the plant back by a third after its first flowering to allow a second flush of flowers. This final cutback can be quite drastic to encourage a healthy shapely growth. Depending on the age of your plant you can take it back to 6 inches.

The first two photos below show my dame de Noche looking straggly and ready for its cutback. Notice that I have planted my dame de Noche close to our outside seating and eating area so that we can benefit from the beautiful night scent. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The next photos show the plant cutback and ready for its final pruning. To finish the prune use your secateurs to open up the centre of the plant to take out crossing stems and let light and air in.

***The final prune leaves the centre of the plant open***

Pruning climbers: The trick with pruning climbers is that you do not want to lose height but you do want to reduce bulk so that you can let light into the plant. So in effect what you need to do is remove side shoots. The simplest way to do this is to run your electric hedge trimmers up the front of the plant aiming to stay away from the upward growth. Lacking hedge trimmers just use garden shears to achieve the same effect.

So far I have cut back the Solanum that grows up the side of my outside kitchen and dining area and also my column of plants that I trained up a palm trunk. The photos below show that all that is needed is to just take away bulk and bring back shape. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Finally, don’t be tempted to feed or overwater the plants you have pruned. Wait a couple of months till you see new leaf growth and then give a light feed.

Dealing with the chicken whisperer. Whilst I have been dealing with the start of the big Winter cutback, Cruella (my wife) has been training the idiot son in the art of chicken whispering. She is trying to convince him to leave the world of Finance and become her rightful heir, or as she calls him “Prince of Chickens”. So far he is holding out, but she is making him follow a strict curriculum of chicken studies. This includes lessons in Chickenese every morning followed by hands on work with the chickens in the afternoon. Early evening is spent in the so called art of chicken whispering. The later evening is spent in the rites and mysteries of putting the chickens to bed, but I can’t tell you anything about this as I am not allowed to see what goes on.

The photos below give you an idea of what they get up to, I did have some others but Cruella made me delete them! I am only allowed to show you these ones as Cruella is using them in his graduation album. Click on each photo for a larger view.

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