I have had to leave the garden. Cruella (my wife) demanded we go back to our English house to celebrate the 30th birthday of our idiot son. She insisted we have house sitters with previous experience of chickens as she was worried her girls would pine; no mention of needing gardening experience. Every night she insisted on FaceTime calls with the chickens; I wasn’t involved as they all spoke chickenese. I had to comfort myself by looking on Google maps at the garden.
Anyway on with the gardening; or what’s left of it.
30th July 2024. Things I have been doing lately.
Dealing with water leaks everywhere.
Bringing the borders back under control
Dealing with the desertification of the lawn
Celebrating the idiots birthday
Dealing with water leaks everywhere. I spent many sleepless nights worrying about the garden whilst I was away. Cruella complained that my nightly mumbling kept her awake, but to be honest I don’t know how she could even hear me as the area of ceiling she normally hangs from is right over the other side of the bedroom.
Anyway, you can imagine the state of the garden when I got back. But the worst things was the many leaks that had sprung up all over my various irrigation systems. Our water bills are normally high, but the one that met us on our return was €700? Apart from a mains leak which was creating a new swimming pool for me, the rest were leaks from split irrigation pipes.
I normally keep an eye on all my irrigation pipes, but it just shows you that even a couple of weeks away can make a big difference. Irrigation pipes in Spain become very brittle in the sun and as a consequence are liable to splits. So get outside now and start your checks.
turn all your irrigation systems off
turn them on one at a time
as you turn each system on walk the length of the piping looking for leaks or suspicious area of lush growth
once you detect a leak cut out a decent length of the piping as it will usually be weak in other areas close by
connect the piping with appropriate connectors ( see below)
then check that your repair is not leaking
I possess more piping and irrigation connectors than most hardware stores
The photo below shows my mobile leak repair tools as I deal with yet another leak.
Just to give you an idea of the scale of the problem I have faced, it has taken two days to track down and repair most of the leaks. The photos below show some of the areas where I am leaking money. Click on each photo for a larger view.
I don’t even know what this one does!
Bringing the borders back under control. By now all of your borders should be in full flower, and ideally you should be deadheading and staking up each day. The photos below show the state of my borders upon my return. Click on each photo for a larger view.
To the superficial eye, these may look fine, (not that I am accusing you of having superficial eyes). But to me there are heads to be deadheaded and stems to be staked. I tend to stake things first and then go round and deadhead. In this way I can see any dead flowers that may be dropping down.
At this time of year the gardeners best friend are canes and twine. The photos below show me getting ready to go. Try not to use very long canes as this is not cost effective, instead cut long canes into four. Not only does this save you money, it will also stop you having expensive eye surgery when you bend down and poke your eye out. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Once you are set to go, wander round looking for drooping and fallen stems. Most plants will stop flowering if there is a kink or break in their stem. You need to get them upright as soon as possible. I know it may sound stupid, but there is a correct way to tie up a plant. Ideally you should form a figure of eight around the cane and the plant stem. You achieve this by first tying your twine around the stake and then forming another loop around the plant stem. The idea is to stop the stem chafing against the stake, thereby causing a wound that may let pathogens in. The photo below shows how well I attended to knot tying in the Scouts.
For some reason Cruella (my wife) is very good at tying knots. I asked her about this one day and she told me it is all about tying down small animals for sacrifice!
Once you have tied everything up, then it is time to go around deadheading. Remember don’t just cut off the flower head, go back to the next leaf node and cut just above there. In this was you will not leave dead stem for infection to enter. Once you have finished deadheading the obvious, take a good look into your borders to see whether anything else interesting is popping up. I cut back my mini sunflowers and discovered some lovely new little blooms at the bottom of their stems, see the photos below. Click on each photo for a larger view.
The last thing I do when I am deadheading is to go round with single handed shears and take off all seed heads from Osteospermums and the Honeysuckle.
Dealing with the desertification of the lawn. My lawn as I jokingly call it has suffered greatly this dry summer. But to be honest my biggest problem is chickens. In the Spring I could have reseeded areas, and I could even do it this autumn. However, if I put any seed down the chickens would scoff it immediately. I am rethinking the whole lawn thing, but just to give you an idea of the problem of desertification, see the photos below. Any idea or suggestions are welcome. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Celebrating the idiots birthday. Cruella (my wife) insisted that I put a celebratory birthday photo of the idiot son into my blog. I protested that it was a gardening blog and as such nobody would be interested. She threatened me that if I didn’t put a photo in the blog she would set fire to my shed.
Anyway, here it is. Cruella is on the left, you can just see a hint of her tail though she has tried to tuck it away, normally you could see her horns but she is cleverly burying them in the beard of the idiot boy. I am on the right, the idiot is in the middle.
It’s that time of year again when the good people in our village of Campoverde are persuaded by me to open their gardens to the public. As Cruella (my wife) is away at our English house pestering the idiot son I have been able to get on with things. The only slight hiccup is that she is determined that Open Garden Day should be retitled ChickenFest 24 and that her girls should take centre stage. I am not sleeping at night with worry, she is ordering special costumes from designers and she is calling it “Cluck Couture” she says she will be the next Victoria Beckham; I fear the worst. Anyway on with the gardening; more details about Open Garden at the end of this post.
11th May 2024. Things I have been doing lately:
There is lots to be getting on with in the garden as summer begins to make its appearance, including:
Cloud pruning your olive trees
Keeping up the deadheading with Dianthus and Chrysanthemum
Filling gaps in your hedges
Dealing with False Garlic
Admitting it has been a terrible season for seeds
Campoverde Open Garden Day
Cloud pruning olive trees. If you have olive trees and you don’t really use the olives, then you know what a mess they can make of your garden with squashed rotting olives mixed with bird poo. An alternative to this is to cloud prune your tree into an interesting shape that is aesthetically pleasing to you.
I cloud pruned my olive tree a number of years ago and once you have done the initial shaping, all that is required is to lightly reshape two or three times a year. The photos below show my olive tree before and after its short back and sides. Click on each photo for a larger view.
That looks much better
Keeping up the deadheading with Dianthus and Chrysanthemum. Although we are not at peak deadheading season you will still need to deadhead plants that are in flower if you want to see repeat flowering. Two early flowerers here in Spain are Dianthus and Chrysanthemum. Both are dealt with differently.
With Dianthus you should carefully nip out dead flowers using your thumb and forefinger. If you try to use secateurs then you will definitely damage the twin flower sitting beside the spent one. I have mentioned before about growing your thumb nails long in the summer, and this is why; your long thumbnails ensure you always have home grown secateurs with you at all times. The photos below show my thumbnails in action. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Chrysanthemum are different. Because they flower so lushly and in a dense flower formation you can be fooled into thinking that once the flowers start dying it is all over for another year. But this is not the case, if you push back the dead and dying flowers you will see another flush of little buds ready to come forward.
What you need to do, is on a daily basis snip off the dead flowers and a portion of attached stem to lower the flowering level to let light into the news buds. It is also a good idea to give the plant a good feed to encourage the new flush of flowers. The photos below show me exposing the next generation of lovely flowers. Click on each photo for a larger view.
If you look carefully you will see the next little buds
Filling gaps in your hedges. Hedges are an important part of my garden as they provide a riot of colour throughout the summer. I have deliberately packed my hedges tight, as this forces them to fight for space, light and air, which in turn produces profuse flowering.
Unfortunately some times a plant dies (not often with hedges), but I recently lost a Plumbago which would have left a dead space in my summer hedges. Normally I would have had to take a cutting from an existing plant and grow it on, all of which would have taken time. Fortunately, my friend Pip from Church had a Jasmine which she was dissatisfied with and kindly donated it to me.
Normally I would be looking to plant hedging plants in November or at the latest January. But needs must. My starting point was to use a chainsaw to cut the new plant some breathing space within the hedge. This will allow it to get established this summer before the rest of the hedge comes rushing in. The photos below show the gap created. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Once I had made space then it was necessary to dig out a decent sized planting hole, fill it with water, let it drain and then dig in some good compost. Hedges are generally greedy feeders and they will deplete the soil, so it is necessary to give your new plant the best possible start by replenishing the soil. The photos below show the new plant settling in. By the end of summer the gap will be completely filled with hedges. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Dealing with False Garlic. False slender garlic is a weed. But, like many weeds it has a lovely flower. I don’t really mind it growing in the only lawn I have left (thank you chickens). But I don’t want it in my flowerbeds. If you are not in Spain this won’t be much of a problem to you. But here in Spain it is a pain (alliteration).
False garlic grows from a tiny bulb that in turn grows from a set seed. Short of digging the bulbs up up there is not much you can do. However, over the years I have found that by pulling the flowers out stem and all, you can gradually outcompete and exhaust the bulb. It is important that you pull out as much of the stem as possible. The plant has spent so much energy creating the stem, so when you remove it, it exhausts the bulb trying to grow another. It may take years but you will eventually win the war. The photos below show me involved in a minor skirmish. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Excuse the lawn I am experimenting before big changesMake sure you pull all the stem
Admitting it has been a terrible season for seeds. I don’t know about you, but it has been a terrible year for seeds. Everything has either not germinated, or if it has the seedlings are scrawny little things. Normally at this time of year my potting bench would be filled with trays of healthy seedlings waiting to take their place in the garden.
Currently everything I have is now planted in the garden, and even then they do not look that healthy. Apart from the early season chicken sabotage, it has just been one of those years. The photos below show my seedling season ending with a whimper. Click on each photo for a larger view.
The last of my weedy cropI call this my tower of failure
Campoverde Open Garden Day. Yes, it is that time of year again when I want you all to come along and have a wander around some of the nice gardens here in Pinar de Campoverde. This is not a competition and these are not show gardens, but just some local people who are keen gardeners opening their garden for the day for a good cause. All the details are shown below, and you will have a lovely day.
The only problem I am still having to deal with is Cruella (my wife) insisting that the day should be turned into ChickenFest 24“a clebration of all things chicken”. I mentioned earlier that she is ordering some special costumes for “her girls”, so called Cluck Couture. She has been emailing me asking me to measure her girls so she gets the right sizes. I have tried my best but to be honest I don’t know where a chicken waist is.
Tango the lonely blind Labrador asked me to ask her if he was to have a special costume for the day. When I asked her she just laughed and said “I’m not wasting any money on that blind mutt”. When I told him he wasn’t to have a costume, he tried to put a brave face on it, but tears sprang into the corners of his little milky eyes and dropped off the end of his nose.
Anyway the upshot of it is that I am trying to run him up a costume from some old compost sacks. It may not be much, but at least he will have a cape and a little flower pot hat. The photos below show the bloody chickens waiting to be measured up for their Cluck Couture and poor Tango the lonely blind Labrador dreaming of his costume. Click on each photo for a larger view.
They scoff at TangoHe just turns his head away and the tears flow
Oh, I nearly forgot below are the details for Campoverde Open Garden Day. I look forward to seeing you there.
I haven’t been able to blog for a few weeks as I have been locked in negotiations with Cruella (my wife) relating to the establishment of chicken demarcation zones in the garden. To be honest with you I am a mere pale shadow of myself, I have been the subject of constant vilification, I have had garden sit ins by angry chickens, I am not sleeping at night and Cruella has just told me I am to be the subject of an enquiry by the UN chicken rapporteur.
Anyway, let’s talk about some gardening, the chicken stuff I will explain at the end of this post.
30th April 2024. Things I have been doing lately:
Spring deadheading
Cleaning out ornamental grasses
Restructuring my garden with chicken demarcation zones
Spring deadheading. We often associate deadheading with the height of summer, but in fact there is lots you can be getting on with now, but you have to do it the right way or you will not get the best out of your plants next year. The plants you should be looking to deadhead now, include:
Roses
Spring bulbs
Ice plants
Aeoniums
Roses. With roses even at this time of year you should be looking to deadhead on a daily basis. Regular deadheading will reward you with fresh flushes of roses (depending on the type of rose). With roses all you have to do is use sharp secateurs to cut just above the next leaf node on the stem with the spent rose. Don’t be tempted to cut just below the spent flower as you will leave dead stem that not only looks ugly but both hinders repeat flowering and can act as a vector for disease. The photos below show where to deadhead. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Spring bulbs. Most spring bulbs will have finished flowering by now and they need deadheading. With bulbs it is important that you leave the stems and foliage to die back naturally ensuring that they release their last bits of energy back into the bulb for next year.
The first thing you need to do is to cut off the seed head. This consists of the dead flower and the bulge just below it on the stem. When you have cut the flower off then you need to leave the foliage to die back till it goes nicely brown. This can look untidy for a few weeks, but it is worth it to plump up your bulbs. Do not be tempted to tie the foliage into a knot which became fashionable a few years ago. If you do this then you are effectively cutting off the supply to the bulb. In just a few weeks time you can cut the dried foliage off right to soil level and plant over the area.
The first photo below shows some of my Spanish Irises ready for deadheading. The second photo shows where to cut them and the final photo shows how they will be left for a few weeks. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Ice plants. Are a spring favourite here in Spain and their early blossoms brighten up the spring garden. If you want to encourage profuse flowering in your plant next year and possibly be rewarded with a new flush of flowers this year, then you need to deadhead now.
To deadhead Ice plants you preferably need to replace your secateurs with shears or single handed lopers. If you look at the plant you will see that you have hundreds of little round spent flowers. You need to carefully shear these off making sure – if possible – not to damage the foliage or the existing flowers. It is a bit like going to the hairdressers and having a light trim all over.
The first photo below shows some of the ice plants around my water feature ready for their light trim. The second shows the trim in process. Remember try not to cut into the foliage. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Aeoniums. These are plants that provide year round interest in Spain. They are undemanding, and unpretentious yet in a subtle way quite showy. In my garden I have the two basic types the Verdi (green one) and the swartzkopf (chocolate). For most of the year these plants will provide structural interest in your garden, then suddenly they turn from ugly duckling to society beauty by throwing out a lovely yellow flower spike. See photo below.
Once these flower spikes have started to fade you need to cut them off from the stem. This is quite simple, all you need to do is look under the fading flower and you will see that the stem has begun to narrow in some cases quite dramatically. What is happening is the plant is getting ready to shed the flower by starving it of nutrition thereby encouraging it to drop off. All you need to do is cut the stem with your secateurs just below the narrowing part of the stem and that is it. The plant will seal the cut and carry on growing. See photo below.
Ornamental grasses. Ornamental grasses are often chosen by gardeners because they assume that as they are grass they will provide problem free plants. But this is not always the case. Grasses need a lot of water in Spain. They also suffer from dead centres and have to be separated every 5 years or so. Lastly, they need to have last years dead grass cleaned out or it will choke this years growth and look unsightly.
This is a simple process, you just need to put your garden gloves on and pluck away at the dead grass with an upward sharp tug. The properly dead grass will come away and leave you with growing space that lets in light and air for your new growth. The photos below show me happily plucking away at some of my grasses. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Restructuring my garden with chicken demarcation zones. From the introduction to this post you can see that I have been having major problems with Cruella (my wife) and her chickens, all of which have suddenly come to a head. Regular readers of this blog will know that Cruella and her 4 chickens have wreaked havoc on my garden.
This has caused arguments, tears, threats of violence and witchcraft. Cruella has regularly cited international bodies that are on her side, in the past this has included the EU, the UN the ECHR and even NATO. Recently she said that we should be spending at least 2.5% of our income on her chickens she quoted NATO and Rushi Sunak.
The end result of protracted wrangling is that I eventually prevailed upon Cruella and her chickens that we needed clear demarcation zones in the garden where the chickens can peck (destroy). All of this only came about as our previous two smaller lawns had been picked up by NASA satellites as expanding areas of desertification. The photos below are worth a thousand words. Click on each photo for a larger view.
The mesh you can see lying on the ground was my vain attempts to stop them digging holesI didn’t bother on this lawn, I just gave up
I started by marking out the areas that would be returned to gardening and two clear zones where the chickens could peck. To say this was controversial is an understatement. Every time I marked out an area Cruella and the chickens would protest and mark out a much larger area. Further days were lost by lines being marked and then crossed out overnight. Cruella and the chickens even staged sit-ins at various times to stop me getting on. When I tried to move them they all went limp and made me drag them out of the way, and as I moved each one the others rushed back in. The photos below shows some of the chaos. Click on each photo for a larger view.
I am only telling you all this not because I am seeking your sympathy, but rather because there is a good gardening point here. Too often in Spain people cover their garden with acres of unsightly gravel, for the practical purpose that it makes it all easier. However, this turns many gardens in Spain into what looks like giant car parks. You don’t have to do this, and even if your garden is already like this, then why not take the opportunity to brighten and refresh your garden with island planting.
At its simplest island planting means creating beds of greenery within your gravelled areas. The benefits of this are so obvious I am not even going to make the point. Instead, if you want to create islands of greenery then this is how to do it.
There are 6 key stages to creating islands in gravelled areas.
Mark out the overall area with ground spray paint
Apply weed suppressing membrane
Mark where you want your island beds directly onto the membrane
Connect up irrigation if appropriate
Cover with gravel; or push back existing gravel
Cut through membrane to create beds and plant up
Mark out the overall area. Think carefully about the size of area you are going to gravel as you will have to live with it. The photos below show the tools for the job, plus early attempts at agreeing area size. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Apply weed suppressing membrane. It is important that you buy good weed suppressing membrane. You are hopefully only going to do this once so make sure you don’t buy cheap stuff that tears and splits. The photos below show various stages of applying the membrane. If you are planting beds in existing gravelled areas then make sure you pull the gravel much further back than your island beds, so that you can pull it back when you are finished. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Mark where you want your island beds directly onto the membrane. This is an important stage so it is worth not only thinking carefully about it, but marking and then waiting 24 hours to think again. Using the ground paint mark out the shape you would like for your island beds. In my case I wanted different sized circles. It is also useful to place objects where you think you want your beds and then walking around and looking at them from different angles to make sure your happy with your sight lines. The photos below show this process in action. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Connect up irrigation. If you are going to use irrigation then now is the time to set your pipe work in place. If you already have gravel then try and connect up to your existing system. The photos below show my artistic connections. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Cover with gravel; or push back existing gravel. Whatever your choice of gravel you will need to allow for coverage of about two inches. This is necessary to ensure you don’t get bare patches opening up as you walk around. Gravel is exceptionally heavy and is hard work to distribute, so if you can get help or use professionals. I had no help, Cruella and her chickens just sat back eating posh snacks whilst I laboured in the Sun. When I asked them for some help they all started chanting slogans about not taking part in their own oppression. The photos below show the extent of my challenge. Click on each photo for a larger view.
Cut through membrane to create beds and plant up. This is the most enjoyable part as you begin to see the fruits of your efforts. I have covered the issue of planting through membrane before, but just in case your new to this the process is simple.
Start by cutting an X shape in your membrane and fold back the flaps of your X. The soil under gravel will normally be quite impoverished and dry so it is necessary to enrich the planting hole. First dig a planting hole slightly larger than your plant. Fill this with water and let it drain, then enrich the hole with good compost digging around to ensure the existing soil is loose.
Place your plant in its new home and make sure to firm the soil around it before folding back the flaps of membrane and then watering profusely. It is a good idea to fill the area around your plants with a different colour gravel. This gives added interest to your planting scheme and also provides contrast in the winter when your plants have died back. The photos below show my finished effort. Click on each photo for a larger view.
I was just sitting down having a well earned cup of tea when Cruella (my wife), approached me accompanied by her chickens. She began reading from a piece of paper which she said had just arrived from NATO claiming that a military drone had noted that my planting and gravel were in breach of the Geneva Convention. She went on to say that they demand that the land should immediately be returned to its intended use as a Chicken designated zone of special scientific interest.
I told her I didn’t believe her as the back of the piece of paper was headed Church Sunday School. She started crying, the chickens all started cackling in Chickenese and they all stormed off shouting about lawyers. Hey Ho.
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