Category: Gardening

Cruella (my wife) is away for almost three weeks. She is visiting our idiot son and subjecting him to what she calls “mother’s love” and what he calls harassment.

Anyway, the good news is that I am gardening on a 24 hour cycle. I divide each day into three 6 hour portions of gardening with two hours rest between each. I mainly sleep in the compost bin for the warmth and I wash in the water feature.

The bad news is that I have been tasked with taking care of Cruella’s chickens whilst she is gone. The last thing she said to me as she sat astride her broom – before taking off over the trees – was “look after my girls”. And I have, they have been locked up 24 hours a day with Tango the lonely blind Labrador acting as guard. All was going well till she found out. More later, on with the gardening.

22nd September 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

• Continuing to deadhead and tie up.
• Cleaning up leaves on gravel.
• Revitalising my lawn
• Setting up a chicken internment camp.

Continuing to deadhead and tie up. By now most of your flowering plants will be almost spent. But don’t give up on them yet, with careful care you can get another month of flowering.

Your starting point should be to assess which plants are worth bothering with, and which just need to come out and go to the compost heap. Any plant that is not producing new flower heads and where all you have is spent flowers, needs to come out. Alternatively, any plant that has at least 50% flowers and is still producing should be saved.

You will need to start by tying the plant to a cane to give it some support. Then deadhead on a daily basis. Given this encouragement there will be a lot more flowers.

The photos below show the various stages of saving your plants for some autumn colour. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Cleaning up leaves on gravel. This may seem like a mundane job and not really worth doing. But in my part of Spain (Costa Blanca) lots of people have enhanced their gardening by using gravel. Used properly with island planting gravel can really enhance a garden, and in our heat is a practical solution. My problem is when people completely gravel over their garden and turn them into what looks like a car park. Any way, my petty prejudices are for another day.

Whatever the reasons for gravel, if you have it, then you need to keep it clear of debris. Debris, such as leaves and pine needles will gradually mulch down into your gravel providing a lovely fine tilth ideal for weeds. So you need to keep your gravel clear or you will eventually lose it to weeds.

You can keep your gravel clear by raking on a regular basis, but a more practical approach – if you have a large garden – is to use a garden blower. The photos below show me in action with my regular clean up process.

Revitalising my lawn. Regular readers of this blog will know that I have neglected my lawn all Summer as I was contemplating giving up on grass. However, after a complete change of mind I have spent the past few weeks trying to revitalise my lawn and bring it back into some sort of shape.

Now I know that the vast majority of you do not have lawns, and think that I am mad, but I can’t help it, I just love to see the green in a Spanish garden. Anyway, there is no point in trying to talk me out of it, I have made up my mind.

If like me you a setting out to revitalise your lawn, then these are the various stages.

To start with you need to assemble the various things you will need. This will include a top dressing to provide a grow medium for your seeds. You will also need a good grass seed. This can be bewildering as there are so many different types. I chose one that was appropriate for renovation rather than a new lawn. Lastly, you will need a membrane to cover your new seeds and keep them from the birds (and chickens). The photos below show my assembled accoutrements. Click on each photo for a larger view.

To start your renovation process you will need to rake (with a garden tine) and remove the thatch. Before applying your top dressing. The photos below show my main problem areas and the start of my raking. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Once you have completed the above you then need to add your top dressing and brush this over the area you are about to seed. When you are ready, sow your seed by moving across the patch and then traversing from side to side to ensure an even spread. Finish off by sieving some top dressing to cover your seeds and then rolling the area to ensure good contact between the seed and the soil. The photos below show the various stages. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The final task is to completely cover the seeded area with a protective membrane to ensure that the birds can’t rob you of your precious seed. The photos below show some of my work, I did go on to do more.

As with all things gardening, nothing is simple. Resting safe in the knowledge that I had protected my precious seed from birds, I completely forgot the danger of ants.

Grass seed provides ants with an ideal take-away of ready made and packaged food. I had forgotten how they had robbed me a few years ago, when they happily trundled all my grass seed under ground.

Sure enough they came back. I was happily perusing my work a few days later when I noticed an earth disturbance under my membrane. When I pulled the membrane back to check, sure enough there was a volcanic entrance to Hades, into which all my grass seed had been taken. The photos below show the horror, together with my retribution. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Setting up a chicken internment camp. As soon as Cruella (my wife) had disappeared over the trees, I immediately locked all the chickens up in their coop. Ostensibly this was so they would not interfere with my gardening, but really it was for revenge for all the indignities both they and Cruella had inflicted on me.

You should have seen their faces. Every time I walked by they would all rush to the wire and jabber away in Chickenese indignantly. Although I don’t speak Chickenese I could tell from their faces what they were saying. Basically, “let us out…we are going to tell our Mum…you will be for it when she gets back”. But I just ignored them happily pointing at my ear in a pantomime fashion whilst shouting in a loud voice “sorry I don’t speak Chickenese”. The photos below show their imprisonment. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Everything was going well for a few days. I was getting on with the gardening and Tango the lonely blind Labrador was enjoying his role as a guard dog; he was very keen on the uniform. Yes, I know we are both perfectly cognisant with the flaws in his role, but he is old and it gives him purpose.

Anyway, it all fell apart after five days. Cruella rang up asking me how things were. I explained everything was fine and there were no problems. She asked to speak to her girls, but I said they were not here as they were running around the garden. I thought I had got away with it as there was no way the chickens could contact her as I had taken all their phones away and cut off their Wi-Fi.

The next day she phoned back incandescent with rage. “What have you done” she screamed. “Nothing” I replied, “don’t lie to me, let me speak to the girls”. I tried to stall, I said they were sleeping etc, but all to no avail. I asked her why she thought there was something wrong, and her only reply was “I can feel it there has been a disturbance in the Chicken Force”.

The upshot of all this was that I had to put Helga the Hen on the phone. As I said previously I don’t speak Chickenese, but I could pick up phrases like… “he has done what!…how long” I might have got away with it but Tango turned Kings Evidence. He had taken off his uniform and confessed everything to Cruella. When later I berated him as a traitor he said he had mental health issues.

Well they are out again, roaming the garden stealing what is left of my grass seed. I still don’t know how they got word to Cruella (my wife), but I have my suspicions. I have seen them talking to a white Dove that has been in their coop. But I don’t think it is a Dove, I think it is a stool pigeon. See the photo below.

To be honest I am really fed up with this summer, it has been a gardening disaster: my seedlings never properly germinated, my lawn looks like the surface of the moon, my figs and grapes have been eaten by birds, my favourite Agave died, my Dame de Noche refused to flower and now I am being terrorised by Cruella’s new chicken.

I could cry. But never mind, we gardeners are made of sterner stuff, let’s get on with the gardening – what’s left of it.

1st September 2024. Things I have been doing lately:

• Repairing the lawn
• Chopping down the dead Agave
• Pruning the Dame de Noche
• Netting fruit
• Taking summer cuttings
• Dealing with Helga the hen

Repairing the lawn. The last time I posted about my lawn I was in the depths of despair. The lack of rain and constant chicken attacks had made a mockery of my grass. I was seriously contemplating tearing it all up and planting a range of new beds with succulents. But after many a sleepless night I have decided to take Madonna’s advice in her greatest hit and I am definitely keeping my baby (the lawn).

This has meant I am now in the process of planning a major renovation. The first thing I did was feed the grass and I have now re-started a twice weekly irrigation programme. I will be ordering new Grama type grass seed for the Autumn. The photos below show the challenge I face. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Chopping down the dead Agave. I have lots of Agave Attenuata around my garden and I particularly love this plant as it forms a family of pups around the main plant. Every 10-20 or so years the main plant will flower spectacularly in a huge arc of flowers and then die just as spectacularly leaving behind the motherless pups.

Over a period of time 3-5 years the pups will sit there motherless until one suddenly decides to become mummy and grows much bigger, and so the cycle continues.

Once the main stem has finished its magnificent flowering, then it is time to cut it right back. The photo below shows me with the Agave in all its flowering pomp.

The next photos show the poor Agave 3 months later accompanied by a photo of its orphan pups. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Finally the flowering spike is cut off and makes its way ceremonially to the compost bin. I do not take the death of an Agave lightly and therefore ensure that all due bereavement procedures are followed.

I dress in black and the compost bins are draped in black crepe. We set off from the point where the flowering arch has been cut and process across the big lawn and down the drive to the compost bins. Tango the lonely blind Labrador has black rosettes either side of his ears and he follows mournfully behind the wheel barrow. Chopin’s Funeral March from Sonata number 2 is played loudly.

Cruella and her chickens line up, but only to mock me and Tango. They point at us and shriek away in Chickenese, especially when poor Tango goes the wrong way or bumps into a tree.

When we arrive at the compost bin I lay the big Agave to rest and sprinkle composting powder over her and say a prayer. Our last ceremonial flourish is the last post, but this was somewhat spoiled as when I stepped back to salute, Tango was right behind me and I fell over backwards. We both ended up in a sprawling heap which caused paroxysms of mirth from Cruella and her cackling crew.

Click on each photo for a larger view.

Pruning the Dame de Noche. If you have a Dame de Noche, and many of you will have – then it has been a terrible year for this normally reliable night scenter. The severe lack of rain has meant then even mature well rooted plants like mine have struggled to produce blooms.

The normal pruning procedure I use for this plant involves cutting back by a third in late August to encourage a second flowering followed by a big cut back in January to about 12-18 inches. This has not been possible this year because of the state of the plant, see the photo below.

Instead of the normal pruning procedure I have taken one third of the foliage away and I will not cut back in January. This will mean that the plant will be substantially bigger next year, but I am hoping that the winter rains will bulk it up. The photo below shows my Dame de Noche finished for this year.

Netting fruit. The only soft fruit I have left this year is my Persimmons. Normally, I would net them at the same time as my figs, but given that I was late with the figs and suffered huge bird depredations, I was not going to make the same mistake again.

Persimmon will slowly go from a soft blush red to a bright yellow as they mature. The birds are watching them just as you are, and they know exactly when they are at their best.

You need to net now with a small mesh net (so you don’t end up with birds hanging upside down each morning). As the fruits mature you can take them off and let them ripen off the tree. They are lovely in fruit salads or eaten directly with a spoon. The photos below show my little tree full of fruit and eventually netted. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Taking summer cuttings. Most plants will by now be heading for seed, but occasionally as you wander round your garden you may notice the odd particularly lush plant that is bursting with new growth. If you find them, then why not try some late summer cuttings.

I have a Swedish Ivy (Creeping Charlie) in a pot that I got as a root cutting from my friend Camilla. This is bursting with new growth and I have decided to take some cuttings. The photo below shows the plant bursting with new growth.

When you take cuttings this time of year it is useful to purchase some ziplock plastic bags (sold in every supermarket) these will aid humidity by keeping the plant moist. It is also useful to have some rooting liquid or powder (not necessary but useful). The photo below shows my preparations.

Once you are ready fill 4 inch pots with a good compost and water them well. Take the cuttings from just below a growth node, and then using your thumbnail pinch out all the leaves up the cutting stem leaving just a couple of leaves at the top. Dip each cutting in hormone liquid before planting it securely in the pot. Place the pot in the ziplock bag and seal.

It is a good idea to open the bag at the top for about half an hour each day and ensure you keep the cuttings in the shade for a few weeks until growth starts. See photos below. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Dealing with Helga the hen. Regular readers of this blog will remember that Cruella (my wife) favourite hen died last month. She quickly announced that her girls would need a new friend and promptly ordered another giant chicken.

Helga the giant hen duly arrived two days later. Cruella was immediately smitten and declared her the love of her life. In case you are interested I am seventh on this particular list. First the idiot son, then the four chickens followed by Tango the lonely blind Labrador and then me. The photos below show Helga and the new line up. Click on each photo for a larger view.

In a stupid attempt to curry favour with Cruella I started to feed Helga by hand with what was left of my figs and grapes. This has resulted in her continually following me everywhere demanding more food. If I fail to give her a grape or fig she starts to peck my toes. I have tried shouting at her but she only speaks chickenese.

I have explained to Cruella (my wife) that Helga is out of control, but she says it’s only girlish fun. But you can see from the photos below that she sits on my chair, waits on the table to be fed, stops me reading my Bible and is currently sitting beside me as I write this. I fear for the future. Click on each photo for a larger view.

It is that time of year again when you are clearing out the last of the summer flowerers, but is not yet time for the big winter cutback. Gardeners often complain to me that they have little to do during this period, but I scoff at their ennui and lament their lack of enterprise; on the contrary this is the time for enterprise, imagination and gardening brio. Yes, it is time to look around your garden and start working on your winter projects.

No matter how good your garden is, and how well planned, there is always room for improvement. This is especially the case in Spain. Too many gardens are covered in acres of unrelenting gravel and paving, to the extent that they look more like car parks than gardens, what Americans would term “a yard”, no offence to my USA readers. When I ask people why they have gardens like this they always come up with the same two reasons: 1. it was like this when I bought the house. 2. It makes it easy for upkeep. Now if you are happy with that fine, but if not now is the time to take action.

The starting point for winter projects is to stroll around your garden with a critical eye and ask yourself what can I do to change, improve and alter my garden so that it will bring me more joy and be pleasing to the eye. To assist you in your endeavours I have included in this post some ideas from my own garden and ongoing projects.

Unfortunately this blog cannot just be about gardening as Cruella and her chickens are intent on inflicting more damage to my garden and my psyche. But, more about that later, let’s get on with the joy of winter projects.

6th November 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

• redesigning my little water feature
• constructing planting islands in gravel
• cloud pruning and making trees interesting
• chicken sex lessons
  
  Redesigning my little water feature. A number of years ago I designed and built a little water feature that would burble away whilst I swung backwards and forwards in my adjacent hammock slung between two palm trees. It also served to alleviate the sameness of gravel, by introducing planting and different colour gravel. Unfortunately, this was BC3 (before chickens). Since then my hammock has been removed a fenced area installed and a chicken coop erected in my previous paradise. This has meant that my little water feature has been neglected, and anyway the previous lavender plants never worked out. The photo below shows the state of neglect.

There were a number of stages in reviving this area. First, I had to take out and bin all the existing plants. Then I decided to rework the water feature element to make it simpler and more pleasing to the eye. I then had to decide on the type of planting I wanted around the water feature. I was looking for long stems that would not trap the pine needles and a no nonsense plant that would add interest without being needy.

Looking around my garden it had to be Aeonium of which I had plenty from which to take cuttings. The next stage was to cut through the existing membrane to plant, but only after dipping in hormone rooting liquid to give them a better chance of rooting. Finally I planted alternative Aeonium Schwartzkopf (black head) and Verdi the (green head) to give interest. The photos below show the various stages, I will let you know how it develops in future posts. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Constructing planting islands in gravel. By introducing some plants and different types/colours of gravel you can begin to alleviate the sameness of acres of gravel and paving. I have followed this strategy over a number of years in areas where grass or similar is unsustainable. The photos below, which are all taken from my garden, show how a bit of island planting can enliven gravelled areas.

The photo below shows my rose beds which are planted in different coloured gravel which ensures differentiation even during winter. Click on each photo for a larger view.

The examples below show other areas of island planting that bring greenery into gravelled areas. Don’t be afraid to follow the same strategy in paved areas. You just need to lift a few paving slabs in strategic areas and you will alter the whole feel of your garden. If you are worried or don’t have the skills just get a builder in and it will take about half an hour. The final photo shows my larger water feature which fulfills the same function of being a focal point in an area of the garden. Click on each photo for a larger view.

From all of the above you can see how little projects done over a longer period of time can begin to bring life to gravelled areas.

Cloud pruning and making trees interesting. Trees like gravelled areas, are aspects of Spanish gardens that are often left as uninteresting lumps punctuating uninteresting gardens. But you don’t have to settle for this. Just because you inherited this behemoth of a tree, or, you just let it get out of control doesn’t mean you have to leave it like that. Cloud pruning and shaping your trees will bring amazing levels of interest to your garden. If you are worried about getting up a ladder then just call in the professionals and tell them your ideas.

The photos below show some examples of my various trees that I have shaped or cloud pruned to bring interest. Click on each photo for a larger view.

Chicken sex lessons.This section of the post could easily degenerate into smuttiness, so it will require everyone to be adult. It all started when Cruella said she thought her girls were growing up and they might have unmet needs. When I asked her what she meant she said she needed a “Cock”!. Putting aside the double entendres that the less educated of you may have reached for, she explained that her girls where no longer girls and where young woman with normal urges.

Anyway, it turns out that she was going to start a programme of sex lessons for her girls to gradually introduce them to the facts of life. Aware of her girls sheltered upbringing, she pointed out that they had never seen a male apart from me and Tango the lonely blind Labrador, he is neutered, and she has often expressed the wish that I was. She said she was going to start gradually and purchased a painting of a Cock – stop it! Using the painting of the Cock she has been holding a series of closed women only sessions in the Chicken coop where she is explaining the “facts of life” in chickenese to her girls. The photo of the Cock is shown below.

I have crept up and listened in a number of times, but obviously I don’t speak chickenese, but the clucks, pucks and shrieks, speak volumes. At the end of the 6th session which covered foreplay and the actual mating, a vote was taken. It turns out they have all voted against the Cockerel and have decided to remain “old maids”. Cruella is overjoyed and says it’s for the best as she feels that as well brought up young ladies her girls should not be sullied by brute male company. However, I have noticed her browsing “adopt a chick” on the internet. The photo below shows the end of the 6th session when all the chickens turned away in horror.

Cruella (my wife) has been away visiting our idiot son which means I have been able to get on with all the autumnal jobs I need to do in the garden. But it hasn’t been easy, the chickens follow me everywhere and just stand there staring at me. To make matters worse they have developed a shoe fetish and I think they need counselling. Anyway more of this later, on with the gardening:

24th October 2023. Things I have been doing lately.

• repairing the lawn
• dealing with the end of the soft fruit season
• repotting plants
• tying up Canna and relentlessly deadheading
• dealing with the chicken shoe fetish

Repairing the lawn. I know that most of you do not have lawns, as only an idiot would have a lawn in Spain – I have to hide from Cruella every time the water bill arrives. Anyway if you have a lawn now is the time to repair it. The heat of the summer has gone, but it is still warm and there is the odd chance of rain to encourage your new seeds.

Begin by getting everything together that you will need to successfully complete your lawn repairs. The photo below shows everything you will need all loaded into my wheelbarrow. This includes:

• sifted compost mixed with soil
• good quality grass seed
• garden protective fleece and ground staples
• antpowder

Once you have assembled everything, then you need to cut the lawn quite short and rake over the patches you are going to repair. Once you are happy that you have raked sufficiently to bring the soil to the surface, spread your new mixture of soil and compost in heaps over the repair area. Next you will need to evenly rake your soil over the proposed repair area and roll it to ensure it engages with the surface of the lawn. Once you have rollered you should gently rake the new patch with a garden tined rake. Next sow your new seed by sprinkling left to right and then up and down to give you a nice even spread. Finish the sowing stage by rollering once more to ensure the seed has good contact with the soil and is slightly embedded.

That is it, you are finished; just make sure you never let the seed dry out. And if you left it there, then tomorrow when you come out to inspect your work there would be absolutely no grass seed left – not even a tiny bit. And that is because the birds and the ants are both stocking up for winter and your lovely expensive grass seed is very nutritious. So you have to protect your work. First by covering the seeded area in a garden fleece that will stop the birds, and then by sprinkling ant powder in a continuous line all around the fleece edge – leave one little gap and the ants will be in. The photos below show the whole process in action.

Dealing with the end of the soft fruit season. We are nearly at the end of the soft fruit season and we are about to enter the citrus season. And there are a few final things you need to be doing. Firstly keep picking fruit on a daily basis. Where fruiting has finished then it is time to remove your nets. My advice is not to try and save your nets for next year, you will cause more damage to your plants. Instead just get a pair of scissors and cut your old nets off. Finally, if you have espalier plants then you need to tie them in to ensure the correct growth. The first two photos below show my daily fruit pick. The next photos show my net removal technique and espalier tying in.

Repotting plants. Most of your pot plants should be almost dormant by now, so if necessary, this is the best time to repot those of them that have outgrown their pot. The first thing to do is to select a pot that is just one size up from the existing pot. If you go for a much bigger pot then there is a danger of a virus infecting the empty soil that has yet to be filled by roots. Place your plant into the new pot whilst it is still in its existing pot. Then fill around the old pot, ensuring you tamp the new compost firmly around the old pot. Wiggle the old pot around and then remove, leaving a pot shaped space in the compost for the plant to be replanted into. The photos below show this first stage.

You now need to remove your plant from the old pot. If it is a plastic pot, then you can normally remove the plant safely without damage. However, if it is a terracotta or clay pot, then it is better to give up on the pot and just smash it as this will cause less damage to the roots. The photos below show the journey from old smashed pot to nice new home.

Tying up Canna and relentlessly deadheading. Most flowering plants will have finished by now, though I have to say my Marigolds have been flowering unstoppably since March and are still going strong. The secret to my long flowering Marigolds is daily deadheading, ruthless removal of spent plants and propping up those left. The photos below show the valiant veterans gallantly flowering on into November.

Most bulb based plants can have all their top growth cutback now. However, the big exception is Cannas. Do not cut Cannas back yet, instead tie them up and leave their top growth to die back ungracefully. it doesn’t matter if your plants end up looking like a gang of drunks on a night out. By leaving the top growth to die back all of the goodness will be passed back down into their rhizomes, thereby ensuring powerful growth next Spring. The photo below shows my Cannas dying disgracefully.

Dealing with the chicken shoe fetish. It all started the very day Cruella flew off. I remember it well because she hit the top of the Mulberry tree on take off. No sooner had she vanished over the roof tops than the chickens started following me around. They didn’t actually do anything, they just followed me staring all the time, it was quite intimidating.

I phoned Cruella that night and told her about the problems with the chickens, she instantly said “what did you do to them” she then asked me to put them on the phone. I gave the phone to Big Bertha -their leader – and she squawked away in Chickenese to Cruella. When Cruella came back on the phone she said that her girls were suffering from separation anxiety and needed to be kept calm. She went on to say that she would arrange counselling when she got back!

Anyway when it came to putting them in their coop at night I found them all crowded around the shoes that Cruella wears when she goes out to their coop. I tried to shoo – no pun attended- them into their coop but they refused to move. In the end I had to carry one of Cruella’s shoes and place it in their coop. They all followed me clucking and eventually went up. Things are a lot better now as Cruella has sent me recordings of her singing all their favourite songs in Chickenese. I play these at night and during feeding times. So far it’s working; their favourites are “the ugly duckling” and “the chicken dance”; you should see them dance around to the chicken dance. The photo below shows the start of the shoe fetish.

I’ve been away, not for long, but long enough for Cruella (my wife) to try and destroy the garden. Despite the fact that I leave copious instruction notes she still manages to kill things. On top of all that her bloody chickens are now on the worlds most expensive diet. I think it is all becoming too much for me, I may abandon the garden and take up stamp collecting. On with the gardening; for now, including:

• Repairing the garden
• Dealing with plant disease before winter
• Reshaping my olive tree
• Dealing with fruit issues
• Coping with Prima Donna chickens

6th October 2023. Things I have been doing lately:

Repairing the garden. When I left for my short absence the garden was in superb condition. However, upon my return there was neglect and decay everywhere. I honestly thought of calling up the RHS helpline to report Cruella and hopefully get her a lifetime ban from ever owning a garden.

One of the main problems was the lawn. Cruella had allowed it to grow feral as she claimed that her girls prefer long grass. The photos below show the lawn before and after I cut it all back.

Perhaps the worst item of neglect was the death of my poor little advocado cutting. I had been growing this on for two years from a stone, and I was thinking of planting it in the ground in the autumn. The photo below shows what is left of it.

Dealing with plant disease before winter. Now is the time to go round and inspect all of your perennial plants before winter. This is an important process before the plants go into hibernation for the winter season. Any disease that your plant is harbouring will go on causing harm when the plant is in hibernation, and in many cases can be fatal. My inspection found me two typical cases that needed dealing with.

The first involved a lovely Dipladenia that had been happily growing up a trellis for a couple of years. It had got itself a severe case of Mealy Bug, which with its sticky honeydew droppings had caused considerable leaf drop. I had sprayed a couple of times to no avail, so now it was time to take drastic action and cut back. Don’t be afraid to cutback plants to near the ground to get rid of pests. In most cases this will invigorate your plant and give it a fresh start. The photos below show the Dipladenia in its diseased state and then with its new start in life.

My second disease problem was on a lovely Jasmine which grows up the corner of my house on wires. This stalwart reliable plant got itself a bad case of mildew. Now Jasmine normally die back and look a bit dead this time of year, but in this case the leaves were not dry and crisp, instead they were powdery and limp. This was obviously caused by the high humidity this year, and can normally be cured by spraying, but it was too far gone and too late in the year, so it had to be drastically pruned. If you have to do this don’t worry, Jasmine doesn’t mind being taken back to the ground every few years. The photos below show the Jasmine before and after.

Reshaping my olive tree. Once you have cloud pruned olive trees into the shape you want them, then you need to trim them up about three times a year to keep them sharp. The photos below show my olive tree before and after it’s smartening up.

Dealing with fruit issues. This year has been fantastic for fruit, and there is still a bumper crop of oranges and lemons to come. However, in the meantime keep picking and processing fruit on a daily basis. I still have lots of figs and persimmons galore, with pomegranates yet to come. The first photo below shows my daily haul of figs, the second shows my little persimmon tree with its final fruits and lastly my pomegranates waiting to be harvested. Remember, if possible leave your pomegranates till they go red. Don’t worry if they split a bit, as these are one of the few fruits you can still eat after splitting because of their compartmentalisation.

Sadly, I have to report the only fruit I have had a problem with this year is my little white peach tree. I have grown this from a cutting and this would have been it’s first year fruiting. There was an abundance of fruit on the tree and I was looking forward to a bumper harvest. But unfortunately the heavy rain last month caused the fruit to swell and split its skin. The first photo below shows my little tree bursting with fruit, but as you can see in the second photo, all of it split. Oh well that is gardening, there is always next year; God willing.

Coping with Prima Donna chickens. While I was away Cruella (my wife) has become even more indulgent with her chickens. When I returned she explained that her girls were now on a new expensive diet which she said had been recommended by a Hollywood Chicken influencer (I didn’t know there was such a thing). This diet consists of individually roasted insects which come in very expensive little packets. When I queried why I still only got porridge and Tango the lonely blind Labrador is still fed Chappie, she accused me of trying to give her girls food issues.

The new food was only the start, she then confessed that the chickens have been having exercise classes with a personal trainer. She explained it was called Tai Chicken and was a variant of Tai Chi specially for chickens (I didn’t know there was such a thing). When I said that sounded like Thai Chicken she burst into tears. Anyway, the end result is I have no money left and the chickens are strutting around in designer leggings feeding on designer chicken insect caviar. The photo below shows the chickens and their insect buffet; if you look closely you can see their leggings.